Your “‘Browns’? Who Are The ‘Browns’?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

He went to Maryland.
That he went to Maryland, obviously.
  • Multiple sources say the Eagles are trying to convince Chip Kelly to trade them Torrey Smith. I guess they need someone who can outrun a Carson Wentz deep ball, because the constant overthrows are making the other receivers look bad, and ROOKIES GOTTA LEARN, MAN!.
    • Why they aren’t using the most obvious point to aid their cause is beyond me.
  • FYI: the trade deadline is November 1 #thanksobama
  • Field Commander Jay Gruden is hearing some noise about how the prevent defence helped aid the Lions’ final winning drive last Sunday.
    • Saying things like “they don’t get paid to backpedal” kinda sorta hangs his defensive coaches out to dry, something I have a hard time believing a Gruden would do.
  • Jay Cutler with this week’s banner quote:
    • “When asked if he feels he still has the support of Bears coach John Fox, Cutler replied, “He doesn’t have a choice, I guess, at this point. Brian is out, so I’ve got to go.”
  • Voices are now starting to get louder that the Giants as an organization need to face sanction over their handling of the Josh Brown matter, despite releasing him this afternoon. I’m just not comfortable holding out the Cheatriots as an example of the dichotomy:

If the Patriots were fined $1 million and stripped of a first- and fourth-round draft pick for potentially deflating footballs, how can the Giants, who explicitly kept an abuser on its roster and withheld information from the league, not receive an at least equally harsh penalty? (via)

“We have valued the amount of air in a ball but yet devalued when a person or persons have been harmed and fail to put forth necessary actions or energy and time” in dealing with them, Steve Smith wrote. (via)

  • Now there’s talk the proposed 2018 China game won’t happen because of travel & labour issues. The travel issues concern the multiple time changes & distances. The labour issues concern the impact on the 4th preseason game and player cuts.
    • Nowhere does it mention that most Chinese meat is so full of drugs the whole team might end up suspended after their first piss test back home.
    • PFT piles on by arguing that the NFL should be more concerned with saving the brand at home than trying to expand sales overseas.

Tangentially related to the above point, si.com has a long-ish piece about the reasons for the decline in ratings for the NFL this year.

  • The usual suspects are there:
    • the “No Fun League” & officiating
    • fan reactions to concussions and protests
    • the many bad games & bad, bad matchups
      • especially those scheduled for night viewing
  • as are some 2016 outliers:
    • the election
    • the Cubs (but not the Indians)

It’s nothing you haven’t heard before, but it’s another part of the increasing cacophony asking for something to be done to improve the game.

Finally, Deadspin has a long-form article – really, it seems like half the book – of excerpts from the new Jeff Pearlman book, “Gunslinger”. They chose to focus on two parts with a symmetrical line: that the Vikings had had a bounty program prior to Favre’s arrival, and how the Bounty-gate era Saints pounded him down in winning the NFC Championship.


90s TV callback!

So everything is coming up Cleveland today. Game One of the World Series starts there tonight, and the NBA season tips off down the street with LeBron & company raising their banner. There’s expected to be almost 60000 people in downtown Cleveland for sports, and the best the Browns can hope for is that people visiting the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame will use their parking lot.

 

Ohio is a swing state in the election, so you know politicians want to be all over this. Anyone going to the game is liable to be accosted by all manner of low-level pol running for state office. The Senate race in Ohio is considered “battleground”, although in recent weeks “incumbent Senator Rob Portman (R) has taken a significant lead over former Governor Ted Strickland (D) in the race”. Further to Ballotpedia‘s point,

Portman’s get out the vote effort in Ohio may even provide “reverse political coattails, with big stakes for Mr. Trump. Ohio has backed the presidential winners in the past 13 elections, and no Republican in modern history has won the White House without capturing Ohio,” according to The Wall Street Journal.

In the big race, fivethirtyeight.com‘s average of polls gives Hillary Clinton has a 1% lead over Donald Trump in the swingiest of states, but realclearpolitics.com shows the opposite, with Trump having the 1% lead. There is between 5-10% support for “other”, but that should shrink closer to voting day. I don’t think Hillbot would show up to any games, because she’s gone in pretty hard for the Cubs this year but can’t afford to alienate the more liberal part of the state. Only the most fanatical Trump supporters could ignore his obvious Yankees affiliation. Things like this matter in the “third-worst gerrymandered place on the planet.”

The pins are from some enterprising person’s ebay site. I admire their incentive to try and monetize this election for themselves as well.

This one's my favourite.
This one’s my favourite.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL Hockey:
    • Sabres at Flyers – 7:30 PM | NBCSN
    • Lightning at Leafs – 7:30 PM | Sportsnet1
    • Ducks at Sharks – 10:00 PM | NBCSN
  • NBA Basketball:
    • Knicks at Cavaliers – 8:00 PM | TNT/TSN
    • Spurs at Warriors – 10:30 PM | TNT/Sportsnet1
  • World Series: Game 1: Cubs at Indians – 8:00 PM | FOX/Sportsnet

I hope the Canadian ad geniuses that came up with the “Canada’s Team” moniker for the Jays choke on this Series. GOD I MISS THE EXPOS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Fronkenshteen

Gotta get my son back to preschool tomorrow. He’s been having breakdowns, crying & saying he misses his daddy. Monday, he wouldn’t even let me put his shoes on. Real crocodile tears. “Daddy pleeeease!!” I’m not built for that shit. Anyway, tomorrow morning I have to play tougher than I am. I’d write something about this for the site, but it ain’t football, and it ain’t funny. Ah, fuck. I’m getting too drunk.

Fronkenshteen

I’ll write it up & send it to Balls. Maybe tomorrow while he’s in school. It’s funny the difference between what you toughen yourself up for, and what it turns out you’re not at all tough enough for.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Back from a fullish day of team building capped by Cubs disappointment. Fuck everyone.

Brick Meathook

So I leave the room for a few minutes and when I return I’m presented with a Fox sitcom, already in progress. This shit is awful.

The channel shall be changed.

ALXMAC
Porky Prime

Cleveland could win a hundred titles in all applicable sports and never achieve the smug level Boston recorded after winning the 2004 World Series.

WCS

FACK YOU

LemonJello

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

Senor Weaselo

Yes, Fox, that’s why I want to go to a movie, to watch Skip Bayless yell at it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC
Brick Meathook

Well THAT happened…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

New format; I can still fuck up a reply.

At least I get a participation trophy.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/b92858615ae591d716f5e58a333bcac4/tumblr_o4zroc4XnH1qzbqf4o1_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

SHE SEEMS NICE

Brick Meathook

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Brocky

I seriously hope a fight breaks out. A white sox fan is having the night of his life, he has been pissing some people royally off

Fronkenshteen

At the bar?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Well this game turned from almost over more or less over pretty quickly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

Wait, is Dr. Lamb one of the characters?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, the first part of comments indenting around the name and avatar.

Fronkenshteen

My parents are in town Thursday-Sunday for my son’s & my birthdays, which are a day apart. My back is so knotted up from tension I swear to god it hurts all the way around to my goddamned face.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So very happy occasion and visit?

Fronkenshteen

/raises eyebrows
//pulls every back muscle

Brocky

Starts at qb for the cowboys

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, that was funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Kungjitsu

The Warriors can’t rebound at all.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

DTZM, the new format is shit.

Trevor Semen

I’ve made it known like three times, you’ve done it once, and I still think we need a fifth to reiterate the point.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He just needs to add 2 “div”‘s, maybe 2 line breaks (if necessary) and a slight adjustment of the distance replies are pushed right and it would be great.

Fronkenshteen

Everything is fancy now.
Also, podcast we are now?

litre_cola

Still not really sure what is going on there.

Unsurprised

Fuck Cleveland. I hope LeBron explodes and the ensuing fire burns down the city.

Trevor Semen

A year ago, Cleveland would’ve embraced it.

Senor Weaselo

Evening every… AHH TEAL.

Brocky

Well the cubs may be blowing it bg time,

But free bar wifi + the pokemon go halloween event = 32 pokemon caught in a 2 hour period

Senor Weaselo

And double candy! And my Dragonite’s my buddy now!

Buuuuut apparently you can only run one of each Eeveelution with the anime names. Which was good for my 93% Eevee to become a Vaporeon but now I have a 97% one! I don’t want that to become a Jolteon or something, fuck that noise.

/Slams self in locker three away from Horatio… I have some standards

Brocky

I got lucky, all of my eevees have been jolteons.

Brick Meathook

JOE BUCK: COMEDY EXPERT

LemonJello

You misspelled Douche Rocket.

ALXMAC

GOAL!!!

Doktor Zymm

“Pirates, sea monsters, smugglers, merfolk and slithery tentacle things with pointy bits stand between the dwarves and the most dangerous challenge they’ve ever faced.”

For $3.99, I should probably buy this book based only on this brief summary, yes?

Old School Zero

So, wait, they have to get PAST all that… just to get to the most dangerous challenge ever?

Those better be some drunk ass dwarves.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Your call. But if balls reads that summary, I betcha he’ll buy it.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ehh, Cubs fucked up. At least I have Mozzarella sticks ready in 6 minutes and an ep of TV to watch (Ill keep checking back in on the game but MLB are somehow worse than an NFL game about commercials and downtime)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, I think I’m with ya there.
Besides….shorter days are fucking with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfHegnJxHis

ALXMAC

G’dammit; and g’dammit:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-KE9lvU810

Doktor Zymm

Transferred a shitton of points to Krisflyer miles today. Looks like next fall is likely for my TRIP OF DOOM in fancy ass planes.

WCS

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit dude…now Imma be watching Chappelle clips all night.
You did that on purpose.

litre_cola

These Cubs, I call em herpes cuz they keep coming back at inopportune times. – Ron Mexico

theeWeeBabySeamus

Things are getting interesting in Cleveland. Just saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or not.
I really hate the O’s let Andrew Miller get away. sigh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really want to be mad at you right now. But I can’t because….yes.

JustStopDude

Oh dear god…..

I am giving training this week. I got asked, as soon as it is completed, to go next door into the next training room to give a group of customers from a port in China some quickie training and overview of their crane system. On a lark, I googled the site because I have been given no real information about the site or the company…

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Um…this is a LOT more cranes than I expected…

Old School Zero

yo dawg, I heard you liked cranes…

JustStopDude

This port is fucking insane…

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They did 12.3 million TEUs . We are adding more cranes to it to do a further 4 million TEUs. TEU’s are basically 20 foot container equivalents. Tractor trailers are typically 40 foot container equivalents.

Old School Zero

That’s insane.

JustStopDude

Derp…that 12.3 million was just the capacity we added last year. The TOTAL capacity last year was 36.54 million TEUs.

I cannot even wrap my head around these fucking numbers. Port of LA does 7.9 million TEUs at fully capacity.

JustStopDude

Oh and this port…is only part (granted the main part) of the Port of Shanghai system.

So yeah….this port basically just feeds one major city.

Old School Zero

Shanghai’s more than just a ‘city’. Not even sure if we can classify it with common terms.

Gratliff

China is killing us in cranes. It’s sad.

Gratliff

FLYERA SCORE 3 IN THE THIRD AND WIN THE SKILLS COMPETITION(!)!

http://sonsofpenn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/claudeloveyou-1.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, back to the based ball until my downlo… DVR loads up my episode of The Flash.

Old School Zero

Anyone on here that enjoys chess should get the app called Really Bad Chess for their phone/tablet. It’s free and it’s crazy and addicting.

http://reallybadchess.com/

Spanky Datass

Dammit Niemi!

ALXMAC

4 (EN) – 3 Stars. Calling it now.

litre_cola

Armia goal, part of the Big Daddy Kane deal to Buffalo.

...

Thank God I got drunk early.

Gratliff

FLYERA TIE IT UP

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“The guy has only been retired one time tonight? Weak.”

– Brett Favre

Horatio Cornblower

I always enjoying announcers glossing over another umpire sucking, in this case because the Indians have one strike zone and the Cubs a much bigger one.

...

/bangs head against table again

Doktor Zymm

I am running dangerously low on new-to-me Kindle content. Anyone read anything good recently?

Gratliff

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WCS

Starring Bruce Willis as Gen. Douglas MacArthur.

ALXMAC

I’m not sure if it’s Kindle friendly, but “The Devil in the White City” and “In the Garden of Beasts” by Erik Larson.

Doktor Zymm

Got those already, great reads though 🙂

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dok, there are several, but my kindle app on the iPad seems to have gone all Ricky Retardo on me. If I can get the piece of shit to open up I’ll dish.

Doktor Zymm

Good stuff. No rush, I just want to find something before Friday, since I have a flight.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh, screw the kindle and the iPad both.
Fiction? Not sure what you like. I mostly do fiction these days. I save non-fiction stuff for documentaries, etc. But as far as fiction, these are two I enjoyed a lot recently.
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6452538-the-big-burn
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/11323611-the-stranger-beside-you
Honestly not sure how the kindle lender thingy works, but if you can school me, happy to send either/both your way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also good (legal thriller type a la Grisham)….
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16109080-an-innocent-client

Doktor Zymm

I read both fiction and non, though I’ve found the demise of book stores has made it harder for me to find fiction I like.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Those three are just off the top of my head. If I can ever unfuck my iPad….LOL.

Old School Zero

The Book Of The New Sun series by Gene Wolfe. Pretty epic classic sci fi/fantasy/haute lit.

Doktor Zymm

Ooh, haven’t heard of that one, will look it up

Old School Zero

Also, The Drunken Botanist, which is all about plants and how we make booze out of them. With cocktail recipes.

litre_cola

Will download.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve got that one, I feel like it was on special a while back? I’m gonna go pour myself a Chartreuse

Old School Zero

I was actually hoping/figuring this was one you’d read. Jealous of your Chartreuse–that’s next on my bottle list, as soon as I have more available shelf space (damn you, dry curacao, becherovka, and bitter almond grappa!), as I want to be able to make The Last Word all day long.

I bought a book all about classic liquor punches. Not fruity office party crap, but booze-forward ones. I can’t wait to make some of those. And get everyone blind.

Doktor Zymm

The Last Word is a fine cocktail, though I usually find myself just drinking the chartreuse straight or rocks. It’s tasty stuff, and a great excuse to use my tiny little liqueur glasses

Old School Zero

Oh, I love fancy tiny glasses. They’re my second favorite behind coupe glasses. I also need more shelf space before I buy sherry glasses.

Doktor Zymm

My absolute favorite tiny liqueur glasses are actually sort of red/purple tinted, but I use the clear ones for the chartreuse because it’s such a fantastic color.

Glassware is good stuff, though I’m conflicted about champagne flutes.

Old School Zero

For my money, Coupe > Flute for bubbly any day.

Doktor Zymm

I tend to go flute if it’s something like a kir royale. Also, since the coupe is supposed to be Marie Antoinette’s boob, I like to try and guess whose boob the flute is supposed to be. I’m pretty easily entertained.

Old School Zero

My mom told me a story from her nursing days about trying to take the blood pressure of a sleeping elderly lady. Turns out she didn’t have the bp cuff on the lady’s arm.

litre_cola

Fuck the Ice Cowboys. Shit goaltending and they still win. Goals by Eaves and Ritchie? SMGDH

ALXMAC
Gratliff

KONECNY GETS A GOAL! Oh my god, there are professional athletes who were born when I was in high school now. Off I go to be sad!

JustStopDude

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s worse when you realize that they were also conceived while you were in high school, and that their dads were probably athletes too, while you wallowed in your virginity.

Gratliff

Fuck’s sake, Flyers. You don’t have to wait until March to start winning games.

...

That ball was a few feet from sending me across the room off the torque of my hardening penis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Amazing that something that strong can …. be in that small of a package.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m guessing you just went flaccid now, tho.
Sorry.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m angry at myself that I screwed around all day doing yardwork instead of catching up on Westworld. Now I’m too tired to even probably make it thru baseball, let alone watch Westworld. I knew re-upping HBO was a sucker bet. But I did get 3 months of Cinemax free so….softcore porn ftw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And I got the flip. Suck it, peasants.

ALXMAC

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I started watching Westworld late last night because of you or someone else suggesting it. Just stayed up and watch all the eps and ran on like 2 hours of sleep today.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wasn’t me who recommended. I got sucked in by peer pressure myself. But I’ve been trying to start it for a few days now with no joy.

ALXMAC

I’ve been holding out on binge watching until next week. I don’t “twat”, and so far none of my friends have been talking aboot Westworld on other social media so I’ve been spared spoilers (if any) so far.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Make sure the settings are correct before you fuck a robot.

ALXMAC