I’m not the biggest fan of this evening but I recognize that it does have its merits. Folks love to get jazzed up for this and there are little if any consequences down the road unless you end up punching a cop. (If at all possible, please don’t punch a cop) Compare this day to Christmas-the other big hullabaloo day that folks get all wigged out over. For one thing, you aren’t required to spend it with relatives. Two-no gift buying for “loved ones”. Three-there’s no chance whatsoever that you feel the need to call out your racist aunt/uncle/sister/brother/mother/dad/cousin over the dinner table. Four-there’s no big pressure to attend a “LET’S GO PARTY!!!” event a mere seven days after that first get-together. Five-while there are those of you that have had Xmas hookups, I’ll bet my last Anne Coulter skeleton outfit that many more of you have had a post-All Hallow’s Eve romp in the hay. TO THE GAME!
Minny/Chi-Much like Andy Reid borrowing Micheal Phelps’ Speedo for his Halloween costume, this game might be gag-worthy. The Vikes D is nuts-they’re #1 in takeaways, they give up a mere 279 yards each game and only 14 points on average. The Bears O has scored over 20 points only once so far and Minny has allowed that total only the one time. The churlish cat that is qb Cutler has his work cut out for him. The Bears situation is so bad that outside consultants have been brought in by the McCaskeys to spell out to them just exactly how this isn’t their fault. Though it’s relatively early, I’ve no doubt that of all the cell phones that Belichick has instructed his minions to bug, the Vikes coaching staff is the top priority. I say the Berserkers take this one handily.
That’s it-GO GET ‘EM, COMMENTERS!!!
3-13…the half time score…or the Bears final record by the end of the season?
It is odd listening to Gruden actually say things about Cutler that are not backhanded compliments.
Bears doing a good?
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I seriously detest that guy. I have no fucking clue how he gets shows.
Blackmail on the head(s) of Food Network?
ok Chicago I will happily take the Bears losing out for a Cubs World Series victory
Yes that is a win-win.
Funny thing…if Cleveland wins both MLB and NBA…they will still be catatonic because the Browns suck.
Why is John Fox trying to kill Howard before halftime?
Akiem Hicks, University of Vagina?
Wow. A half of Bears football that doesn’t make me shame-drink!
If the Bears could make a Super Bowl, they’d catch that.
Insert John Madden “doink!” sound effect.
The Bears are at war with Asiata, and have always been at war with Asiata.
Normally you’d think a ground war with Asiata would be a grave mistake.
WE ARE ALWAYS AT WAR…
was a shitty spot
What, John Fox thinks he’s Lady MacBeth all of a sudden?
Jay Cutler: COORDINATOR KILLER
I figured he was more of a “bat the coordinator around, maybe cripple him, but leave him lying there by the bedroom door for you to find in the morning”-type of quarterback.
I don’t really want the Chicago sports karma to be used up tonight…
Minny’s getting outcoached right now, it feels like. Bears got a read on their defense.
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There are a few states shown here that need to be bombed by orbit. Seriously…who the fuck likes candy corn?!? Amish children don’t even like candy corn!
Minny-sota is goddamned right re candy. I’m gonna have the worst headache tomorrow as a result of their irresistability.
I like that NJ is sour patch…pretty much every smack head, myself included, always had sour patch candies when getting high.
Iowa knows their candy.
Who the fuck gives or got toblerone?!
Italian Christmas?
Fuckin’ Tex-Ass, man…
Eww, I don’t like Almond Joy; but my birth state has it right: Reese’s Pieces are the tits. Although I would totally trick-or-treat in Arizona for some fucking Toblerones.
This Bears running back nobody has ever heard of that is suddenly ripping off huge gains? I am playing against him in fantasy, of course.
I had been starting him in my money league, but he had been universally benched after getting his snap count cut drastically last 2 weeks.
I had read that, and was thinking maybe I had a chance tonight. Now I need him to fumble five straight times.
Any RB snaps given to not-Jordan Howard are absolute lunacy
BONK!
well, he certainly HIT his receiver, didn’t he??
So…seven punts for the first quarter?
My bad, only 6.
Bears D looking shockingly cromulent
I understand why they put this game on for Halloween now. This is some horrifying football to watch.
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THIS CHARLES LENO I CALL HIM JAY BECAUSE HIS PERFORMANCE IS NOT FUNNY IN THE SLIGHTEST
So does officiating get worse or better now they’re down one?
Obviously worse…. they have to make up for their lost manpower.
I was thinking better…that the first ref down was just a warning…
I’m gonna go off on a bit of a rant here with a slew of what I suspect are unpopular opinions…
The officials get a fucking bullshit, crappy deal. First of all, every time they have tried to use scabs, its been a shitshow. Anyone trying to act like any shithead off the street could officiate the modern NFL game is on crack. Second, the officials don’t make these bullshit rules. The rule book is forced upon them. Its not their fault that the NFL keeps changing the rules, often times making things to be far more arbitrary than they need. Third, the officials would be the first to admit that there needs to be more people on the field. Their issue with the NFL is that the NFL wants to use new officials as a way to destroy their union. And its not like the NFL really wants more officials, even though the officials cause next to nothing compared to what the teams bring in…the owners are cheap mother fuckers.
Bitching at officials is like making a scene and screaming at the person behind the counter at the DMV for not having more lines open and better hours. Your bitching to the wrong people.
No disagreement. As always, it’s Roger’s fault. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but he’s a national disgrace.
Roger is exactly the commissioner that the NFL owners want. He gets all the heat and he has zero fucking power. He is the pinata that people can direct their hate and anger at so people don’t focus on shit like $750 million in public financing are going to the fucking Raiders.
Yup. Doesn’t make him right, just an asshole.
Judging by the forecast…not likely.
http://images.nobleworkfunnycards.com/mod_images/imageitem/4840k-daniel-collins-shitty-weather-card-blank-paper-card.jpg
Sweet Jebus Bleergh logging in was a beeotch. Pretty sure the next test will demand blood. For the machine. To prove I’m not one. I’m on to you skynet!
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I hope no one had that Zebra on their fantasy football team
Stripe Lives Matter!
And now our shitty turf murders a referee.
Ref got whacked this really is Chicago ,, smgdh
http://s.quickmeme.com/img/eb/ebbafe9fa3ad05338a26a7c97f72b39c6953fea4a31b66368495397ebc43d1bb.jpg
We have a referee down! We have a referee down!
Not sure if watching Ursa Major fuck up on the field tonight will make watching Ursa Minor tomorrow any better or worse, so let’s just see what happens.
It’s nearly 9, we’ve had one trick or treater, can I delve into the Butterfingers yet?
Always yes. They’ll spoil otherwise.
Not until you mail some to the DFO clubhouse.
The fact that you haven’t already shows great self-control on your part.
Upon further investigation, we don’t have Butterfingers, but we have FOUR types of Snickers. I didn’t even know they made four kinds of Snickers!
I know of 2; Original recipe and Peanut Butter – what are the others?
There’s apparently also Crisper and all peanuts and caramel. And I think they used to make triple chocolate for a second.
Peanut Butter Snickers may be the best candy invention of the past decade.
There’s the derp we’re all expecting from the Mature Cubs. smgdh.
TIME TO LOAD UP AND HAND OUT CANDY!
That’s just great.
Now I’m thirsty.
Has nobody seriously tried running right down the Vikes’ gullet?
Yeah Right: Woo! We finally get a Vikings game on MNF!
Teddy’s BOTW: Nrrf.
Yeah Right: Hey, we’re having a great year! I think we’re gonna win the NFC North and then…maybe even on to the Super Bowl!
Teddy’s BOTW: Grarf.
Yeah Right: You’ve got that right. Nothing is gonna stop us this year!
Covalent Blonde (walking up to the couch): Again? I thought I told you guys…you’re in my spot.
Yeah Right and Teddy’ BOTW retreat from CB’s wrath.
Teddy’s BOTW: Hrf.
Yeah Right: Right? But if I was a Niners fan, I’d be in a bad mood, too.
Woooooooo bonus HRTN content!
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wait, did someone say Berserker??
“SKELNIK!”
Good evening dellow felegates!
Can I take a moment to give a laurel, and hearty handshake to the absolute murderers row of authors for todays #content?
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Ass slaps all around!
I gave them much GET HYPE in Hippo Thoughts, and they certainly DID NOT disappoint. Unlike me, those fellows are earning every last cent of they $12 large.
something to read FOAR when this game gets unwatchable (ie, 15 minutes from now) AND you have already finished all the EXCELLENT Commentist Party creative scarefest work:
http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/10/veteran-spy-gave-fbi-info-alleging-russian-operation-cultivate-donald-trump
Fuck your Republican Uncle at Thanksgiving, these Trump fuckwits are TRAITORS. Not using that word lightly nor metaphorically.
Related: http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/cover_story/2016/10/was_a_server_registered_to_the_trump_organization_communicating_with_russia.html
Considering the greatest president ever (according to conservatives) and his people committed treason by actively working against the sitting president and extending the length of captivity of US people in Iran…methinks no republican will give a shit.
Hey, let’s all remember those people who think Ronnie Ray-Gun was The Greatest President Ever all admit he had zero knowledge of those acts, which would condemn any Democratic official in a similar capacity to a lifetime of being called incompetent and out of touch, but somehow this absolves Ronnie of any wrong-doing whatsoever.
Fuck Trump. Just wanted to get that in there.
They mentioned something I actually care about. Dude on the far right has to be Laurens/Phillip.
Fuck, was replying to Col. below
Great. The Bears get to be embarrassed in prime time yet again. I wish we could just suffer in anonymity like Titans fans.
Hey now, buck up. You fuckers win tonight, my Survivor Pool is down to 2, and the other dude done already used the Packers. MONEY FOAR HIPPO
Bears have more primetime games than Chiefs, Raiders and Falcons.
As always, Bears fans do not deserve Jay Cutler. He is going to have a spite fueled awesome game, we’ll still lose, and he’ll leave town and find more success elsewhere.
He’s at just the right junction of his career for New York to make a big play for him, so I wouldn’t worry too much about him finding success elsewhere.
I love the grease stain on the wall from where his head slams into it before he falls forward. Hilarious.
Folks.
So no promotion for Spur and i had a bit of a hangover today from the Dallas game last night.
Sorry dude. Fuck em all. Keep drinking.
Start a fire or series of small fires. You know this is the right thing.
Did someone say Berserkers? LEEROOOOOOOYYYYYY JEEEENKINSSSSS!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hooKVstzbz0