I’m not the biggest fan of this evening but I recognize that it does have its merits. Folks love to get jazzed up for this and there are little if any consequences down the road unless you end up punching a cop. (If at all possible, please don’t punch a cop) Compare this day to Christmas-the other big hullabaloo day that folks get all wigged out over. For one thing, you aren’t required to spend it with relatives. Two-no gift buying for “loved ones”. Three-there’s no chance whatsoever that you feel the need to call out your racist aunt/uncle/sister/brother/mother/dad/cousin over the dinner table. Four-there’s no big pressure to attend a “LET’S GO PARTY!!!” event a mere seven days after that first get-together. Five-while there are those of you that have had Xmas hookups, I’ll bet my last Anne Coulter skeleton outfit that many more of you have had a post-All Hallow’s Eve romp in the hay. TO THE GAME!
Minny/Chi-Much like Andy Reid borrowing Micheal Phelps’ Speedo for his Halloween costume, this game might be gag-worthy. The Vikes D is nuts-they’re #1 in takeaways, they give up a mere 279 yards each game and only 14 points on average. The Bears O has scored over 20 points only once so far and Minny has allowed that total only the one time. The churlish cat that is qb Cutler has his work cut out for him. The Bears situation is so bad that outside consultants have been brought in by the McCaskeys to spell out to them just exactly how this isn’t their fault. Though it’s relatively early, I’ve no doubt that of all the cell phones that Belichick has instructed his minions to bug, the Vikes coaching staff is the top priority. I say the Berserkers take this one handily.
That’s it-GO GET ‘EM, COMMENTERS!!!
Yay, it’s over. Night all!
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A Gruden Grinder sounds like a really shitty, greasy sandwich.
It’s not a sandwich: it’s a sex position.
Is it related in any way to the Cleveland Steamer?
It’s what comes immediately after the Cleveland Steamer, yeah.
http://2.darkroom.shortlist.com/980/36ff39222b8f35e00258623526e46485:bd7791dda3d53df93e4df26b3b171150/kappa.jpg
“Hey, let’s wear costumes to the Bears game!”
“OK, what should I wear?”
“GO AS A MOTHERFUCKING RED CRAYON!”
“Oh wow, man, this meth is good.”
In all likelihood, that’s a NW Indiana Bears fan…
As a NWI Bears fan myself I was gonna argue then:
okay the meth is bad in the state, but I wouldn’t say up here. Get south of indy with all the trump/pence supporters however…
Oh, and this fucks me for survivor and my cover5 league, so I’m sure the Cubs will break my heart tomorrow night, too.
/glass can’t be half empty if you break it over your own head
Lisa Salters: (Cutler) “…wasn’t really paying attention to that noise, DIDN’T REALLY CARE …”
?!? Awesome!
Keep it going Jay!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/a9e9e3b6db90ca491572efd3dfee152e/tumblr_midkrdl8ml1rbvhreo1_500.gif
This is the best work by a Dowell since my last trip to IKEA
again, the QB and the RB leading the Bears to this victory are guys that John Fox has tried as hard as he can to bury on the bench.
“Every inch matters” is also the name of my sex tape
For some reason, this game is reminding me of a really bad joke.
Why do you wrap a hamster up in duct tape?
So it doesn’t explode when you fuck it.
http://www.fugitr.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/animated_tits_gif-12.gif
Mercedes-Benz vans: the final solution to your moving needs.
I laughed WAY harder at that than is socially acceptable
Me, too.
Banner quote? Banner quote!
/oven joke
GHOST!
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Oh for fuck’s sake
http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1cpu5fZET1rq0rd8o1_500.gif
hopefully that TD is just a bit of foreshadowing that TEH INJUNS IS COMIN!!!!
As a fan of all forms of chaos, inter-division mediocrity, and continuing displays of why Goodell continues to be a gotdam national disgrace, I support this sudden display of ursine cromulence.
WHAT IS GOING ON AT SOLDIER FIELD?
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I’M SO CONFUSED!
Holy fuck. Trevathan just back-somersaulted into a handstand. In shoulder pads.
Cutler is… good?
That’s what I’ve been saying for years, but NOBODY in Chicago would listen!
CATLER IS THE PROBLEM!!!1111
/team goes 0-6 without him
UH????? WHA HAPPEN???
I would like to stay up late enough to listen to Catler throw shade at John Fox. But I won’t. Or will his DOOOONNNN’T CAAAAAAARRRRRE overwhelm his cat pride?
Will he strut to the microphone?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vEtbfzMLVWU
if he came up to the podium snapping his fingers, that would be SO BADASS
No no no. His urine will overpower the cat’s pride. It’s not great litter.
Traditional Bears would go three and out here, punt, give up a TD. If these Bears kill clock and/or add insurance points, then I am very concerned about using up tomorrow’s little Bear magic.
you were willing to go for it on 4th down 3 plays ago. what a difference 2 yards must make
The Vikings are banking on the Bears to hand them a score or two on defense.
Which is not at all unreasonable based on history.
It’s really nice of Minnesota to be running a ball-control, clock-killing offense for the Bears.
Always remember: a thoroughly saturated corneal glycocalyx is a thoroughly happy corneal glycocalyx!
I don’t even try and I get the flip.
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Evening. How was y’all nights so far?
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how he get his paws to work that etch-a-sketch??
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/Cat-Playing-Game-on-iPad.gif
Dunno, but his technique is top-notch!
http://iwanttodrawacatforyou.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/comparisonsketch.jpg
My comment is awaiting moderation? I’m hurt by this…
You know what you did
Who do you gotta fuck around here to post a pic from “Ed Wood ?”
The toe part of this
http://highheelsdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/orange-peep-toe-high-heels.jpg
Sean McDonough: “Jon, I think when they’re watching this game a lot of our fans are asking…”
Unless you finish that sentence with ‘why do I hate myself so much that I’m still watching this shitfest’ you are dead wrong about what I’m thinking.
What in the wide world of sports is exactly going on? And how?
I earned this Purple Heart by getting shot in the dick, twice. But Donald here earned his the easy way, by having a racist old soldier give him his.
Remember when this disqualified a person from being considered Presidential?
http://cbsnews2.cbsistatic.com/hub/i/r/2012/10/15/66c9ca28-3a2b-11e3-a4cb-047d7b15b92e/thumbnail/1200×630/ab9c18a156997a27d78ba83377f84814/Politics_Bush1992_1015.jpg
How many hits before Bradford gets broken again?
Let’s ask Mr. Owl.
“One…. two-hoo…. three!”
Thuh-rheeee
The Cubs are in the World Series, Trump is running for President and the Bears are winning a home game at night. We are through the looking glass.
That’s what happens when you take both the blue pill AND the red pill.
I thought you get an erection (as long as it’s less than four hours) and become a misogynist. And I just set someone up for the punchline of this joke.
bears did beat gb on thanksgiving last year thank you very much*
*knows that was a highly circumstantial win, is unwilling to push that point farther
Harrison Smith is having a craptacular game.
He is getting abused by Loggains.
http://images.dailytech.com/nimage/Archer_Danger_Zone_Wide.jpg
Will the catnip in his insulin show up in Catler’s piss test?
If they can get a sample from the litterbox before he buries it too deep.
They have shots for th…oh wait.
So, Oakland loses to New England in the AFF Championship game and, what, DAK over Minnesota for the NFC? Anyone else any good (other than Denver, who will find away to Divine Brown a game in the playoffs)?
Dunno. The way Carr is playing, I’m not sure New England is a sure thing.
THIS is one of the league’s top defenses?
Give the Bears some credit, their playcalling has been excellent.
Alshon doesn’t drop the ball twice, the Bears are blowing the fuck out of the Vikings.
And this is what frustrates me about this season. The Bears can actually be good. Yeah, injuries have really killed them, but it’s more that they’ve been their own worst enemies.
its amazing what happens when the QB remembers to throw to Alshon.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/98cb5650c4d1f49daae758fecfd93727/tumblr_ny4gq2igNS1qzefipo1_500.gif
For all the hate Cutler gets, he has a fucking great arm. Probably too good, because he makes stupid-ass throws that 90% of QBs wouldn’t even try.
I’d happily take him back in Denver
I just wish he wouldn’t lick his butt in front of company.
Where we’re going, you don’t need Rhodes
/pops in
BADFORD IS BACK! GIMME THEM EARLY DRAFT PICKS!
/pops out
talkin’ bout Xavier Rhoades WHOAAAAAAAAOOOH, Xavier Rhoades
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY9xZoKiBgU
THIS BEARS TEAM I CALL THEM A LAP DANCE BECAUSE THEY GET YOU EXCITED EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW THEY WON’T FINISH THE JOB
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Banner worthy!
So what the fuck is this? Cutler keeps throwing the ball to these tall white guys who look like skinny offensive linemen. Do other teams have guys like this? Why would Cutler keep throwing the ball to these guys? And why do they keep on catching it?
Two words: Primo Catnip.
So my daughter dressed up in her Rey costume, and my nearly 4 year-old son wanted to be Kylo Ren. They looked really cute together (and damned well they should have–my daughter’s costume cost $55), but so many people complimented me on my son’s costume, saying how cute he was, etc.
I had to keep pointing out to people that KYLO REN KILLED HIS FATHER. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I BE PLEASED THAT MY KID WANTS TO BE KYLO REN?
Because it’s totally normal that he wants to kill his father and then…
I try not to think what my 15-year old daughters are doing at this “bonfire” they are at tonight, but hey…NO $55 costumes!!!
I’m right there with you. OrangeJello is 17 and I remind her often that I have both a shotgun and a shovel, and I know how to use them both.
I usually get an eyeroll in response, but I’m not a grandfather (yet)!
My youngest, TangerineJello, went as Zombie Dorothy one year – blue gingham dress, ruby slippers, zombie make-up. Try explaining that a million times to all the other parents…
During the World Series, I keep seeing promos for Skip Bayless and Shannon Sharpe throwing the sport commentary equivalent of acid (always about the Cowboys for some reason) in each other’s face. The one part that sticks out at the end is that this show of their lasts from 9:30 a.m. to noon. Who on Earth would watch two and a half hours of that shit?
Meth addicts.
I hear they get great ratings among the prized county jail inmate demographic.
The same unemployed men who call in to sparts talk radio shows while drunk in the middle of the afternoon with their HAWT SPARTS TEAKS!!!!1!!!1
Halftime Treehouse of Horror? Don’t mind if I do…
Stephen A Smith is the candy corn of sports talking heads.
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Agreed.