TGISF…aka Hallelujah, Where’s the Tylenol…aka Sara Jean Underwood is a Goddess/Sexy Friday Open Thread

Damn….is it really Friday again already?  Yeesh, I really gotta stop drinking so much.

The title for Sexy Friday this week should be self-explanatory.  You either love Sara Jean Underwood, or you are not a true human.

And I’m not going to lie to you fine people.  It’s been a tough couple of weeks in tWBS’ world.  Lots of reasons why, none of which apparently matters anymore.  The first in the string was that I lost a dear friend to a car accident.  Her not being in this world any longer is a huge loss to this world.  Trust me.  She was a platonic friend, then a romantic interest, then once again a platonic friend.  I’d lost contact with her recently more than I’d care to admit, to be honest.  I feel badly about that, if I’m being honest.  Yet her husband was kind enough, even in his moment of greatest tragedy and grief, to contact me as she lay dying in a hospital bed at Duke University Hospital.  I was at her bedside when they effectively pulled the plug.

She was a dear friend.  She deserved a better end than she got.  But as we’ve covered here recently before….

Deserve’s got nothing to do with it.

I won’t burden you fine folks with any further details. But suffice to say that I don’t have a lot of happy thoughts to share this week.  My apologies for that, sincerely.  Hopefully next week I’ll have something more meaningful to share.  There’s always hope for the future if you can gut out the present.  Every day above ground, etc., etc.

That’s actually a Christmas song, but who cares?  It’s still a good song.  At least I didn’t torture you with Natasha Bedingfield or Carly Rae Jepsen.  I’m horrified I even know those names, quite frankly.

So as I alluded to, it’s best if I don’t talk too much this week.  However I will say this….if you are in the market for a new computer and/or electronic components, and you are one who buys from Amazon, avoid these jerks, please.  I bought a barebones tower from this fly by night operation a few weeks ago.

Among other things they failed to bolt down the hard drive, or package the machine itself properly.  Then they agreed to send me a new hard drive to replace the pinball hard drive.  They didn’t package that any better.  Shocking, I know.  Long story short, both items are now on their way back to them, and I’ve ordered a new system from a more reputable firm.  It should arrive by Monday, but for now I am still laptop bound.

Though I did finally salvage and back up all of my photos on my old hard drive before it died once and for all, as well as the memory, video card and TV card from my old tower before it finally died.  Then I smashed the rest with an axe.  No, not kidding.

That computer actually served me well to be honest, for more years than it rightfully should have probably.  But everything dying in it at once, and my recent struggles with retail computer companies added on top….well, I needed an outlet.  Smashing an already dead (for the most part) computer seemed a way better idea than being abusive toward a human type creature.  Yet that doesn’t necessarily absolve one of such an accusation.  Live and learn.

And computer problems were probably the BEST part of my week.  Just sayin’.

But four weeks from now I’ll be in Vegas doing my best Ben Sanderson impression if all goes as planned.  Follow the link or Google it, I really don’t care which.

UPDATE:  New tower arrived 4 days ahead of schedule.  I’m typing on it right now, in fact.  Now that’s what I’m talking about!!!!  THAT’S how you retail.

Last week, a few days before Halloween, I cut you good folks short before sharing with you the unquestioned princess of cosplay, my future wife if she ever drops the restraining order, Miss Sara Jean Underwood.  She loves me deeply, she just doesn’t know it yet.

Anywhoo, I promised to fix my faux pas by delivering her to you this week.  And I will deliver.

Patience is a virtue however, or so they say.  Frankly, from what I can tell, “patience” is merely another word for taking it up the wazoo for just a little longer.  But that’s another story entirely.  One I’m not at liberty to share.

So, Sara Jean Underwood….

  • Born March 26, 1984 (32 yo)
  • Playboy’s Miss July, 2006
  • Playboy’s Playmate of the Year, 2007
  • 5′ 3″, 103 lbs
  • Born in the pacific northwest of Oregon (which figures, right Hippo?).
  • And as sweet as the day is long, or at least that’s what I’m told by reputable sources.

If you don’t know who she is, then you are a horrible person.  NO ONE DENIES THIS!!!!

Image result for sara jean underwood

We’ll come back to her later, trust me.

What’s The Deal With the Sportsballs?

Baseball is over.  Cleveland is once again looking in the mirror and not liking what they see.  I can relate…1979 was the year.  Baltimore vs Pittsburgh.  We are Family.  Fuck you, Kent Tekulve, you dipshit.  But seriously, nice job by the small bears.  My hat is off to you….you shitmonkeys.

Football might as well be over.  Last night we were coerced into watching ATL and TB in what was a defacto playoff game for the NFC South title.  How sad is that?  Atlanta and Tampa Bay?  Really?  Yep, really.  Matt Ryan got the job done.  Jameis Winston got fucked right in the pussy.  Mike Glennon got some garbage time.  Just another Thursday Night Football game.  43-28 is your final this week.  The final looks better than it should, thanks again to Mike Glennon being Mike Glennon.

Shameless NCSU plug upcoming….just because I can.

The ol’ Giraffe never looked so good.  You run, son.  You run.  (2:20 mark, fwiw).

Next week on TNF, we get the Factory at the Ratbirds.  God help us all.  Someone please hide my firearms and razor blades.

Hockey is still happening.  I still haven’t watched much yet.  But it seems now that baseball is done I’ll be able to find the time.  The Canadiens, Rangers and Pens are the class of the east so far, with the Caps trying hard to keep up.  In the west….well, it’s the west….who fucking cares?

In the world of Professional Basketballing, the Cavs are still perfect.  LeBron’s latest stay in the Cuyahoga city seems to be going better this time ’round.  Too bad he can’t pitch or hit.

College Basketballing gets rolling next weekend.  We’ll talk more about that when the time comes, trust me.  But It really kills me that this walking talking penis is the preseason POY.  And not just because he’s a cracker ass.

And Scotchy…February 1st is already circled on my calendar…

handbanana

 

 

So, Sara Jean Underwood

I had originally planned to include her into the pre-Halloween Sexy Friday post last week.  Mostly because she’s very into cosplay, etc., and costumes were kinda the whole point for Halloween-ish type stuff.  But then that entry got away from me and just became too long.  Sara Jean would have gotten lost in the shuffle.  Which would not do justice to Sara Jean.  Sara Jean is deserving of spotlight type feature.  So here we are.

And while this week, I will include all of those cosplay photos I had planned to share last week, some others are likely to sneak their way in as well.  This week with Sara Jean will not be ONLY costumes, etc., is what I’m saying.

Photographing cosplayers or high fashion is not something I’ve ever aspired to.  But if I did, she’d be my Everest.  Dayum.

I know a few of the photographers who have been fortunate enough to photograph her.  They’ve all told me that she is as sweet in real life as she appears.  Sadly, none have ever provided an introduction or better yet, her home address.  Probably for the best though.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJ-TxfP7zDA

Jenga on a trampoline might not be her game.  But I’d be more than willing to play.  However, wasting a good bottle of champagne is just wrong.  But it still looked good.  Or at least fun.  Just sayin’.

So, costumed Sara Jean first…

Remember the sexy nurse from last week’s Halloween foray?  She does it well, no?

sarajeannurse

 

But she’s not just a one hit wonder.  No, no…she aims to heal…

sarajeannurse2

We mentioned Star Wars last week as well I believe…

Padme never looked better…

 

sarajeanpadme
Apologies to Natalie Portman….but she knows it’s true.

Nor did Leia…

 

sarajeanleia
No apologies necessary to Carrie Fisher.

Even as a Stormtrooper?  Why yes indeedy.

sarajeanstormtrooper
These ARE the droids you’re looking for. I hope.

Then there was the sexy maid we touched on.  Nobody does it better than Sara Jean.  I wouldn’t mind touching on her sexy maid.  Just sayin’.

sarajeanfrenchmaid
The kitchen is still a mess, and the living room is a total disaster. But nope, don’t care. Carry on.

She also does a genderbend cowboy pretty well…

sarajeancowboy
Keep the boots on, plz.

And a schoolgirl…

sarajeanschoolgirl
Today’s lesson? Schwing!!!

And now you’ve gone and fucked it up.  You realize you look ELITE now, right?  Still tho…never wanted to bang Flacco so much.  Also, apparently Sara Jean is a bit of a slob.

sarajeanflacco
Clean up your damn room before I spank you. Wait, clean it up AFTER I spank you.

And you save it.  Nicely done.  Yes, 2 boxes of Thin Mints, plz…

sarajeangirlscout
May I take a closer look at your merit badges plz?

And I have no idea what this diabolical furry is ‘sposed to be.  But I don’t hate it…

sarajeanwtf
You’ve got some weirdness going on here, love. But I’ll play along.

 

OK, that’s all the costumed Sara Jean I’d saved.  Now we’re gonna wing it from here I guess.

Maybe something scantily clad with bedroom eyes?

Image result for yes hAVE SOME GIF

Thank you Rick.  Don’t mind if I do.

Image result for sara jean underwood
Yes, have some.
Image result for sara jean underwood
Looks good in red….check.
Image result for sara jean underwood
A few extra straps than necessary, but we won’t hold that against her.
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Kinda dangly, but whom amongst us isn’t, right?
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Shorty T-shirt, one size too small….double check.
Image result for sara jean underwood
Stabbed in the head with a pencil, but still hot. Put the glasses back on though, and we can discuss the Dewey Decimal System.
Image result for sara jean underwood
There’s another version of this one which would have earned me a good talking to from DTZM. This one might also I suppose. But technically it’s legal.
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Hummina, hummina…aaaand sploosh.
Image result for sara jean underwood
Every day….EVERY FREAKING DAY…I go swim laps. She’s never there.

OK, enough is enough.  I could do this all day.  And it’s possible that I might have before.  And probably will again.  But we’ll probably come on….errrrrrr come BACK TO Sara Jean at a later date.  For now, that’s enough.

Image result for my penis can only get so erect gif

Ladies, you never read this article I think. So I’m not sure why I continue to search for hot guys for you, but nonetheless, here ya go…

Wolverine…

Image result for sexy cosplay guys
He seems a bit overly intense for my tastes, but whatever. Adamantium must have some ill effects I suppose.

 

Image result for sexy guys
Red Hooded…SWEAT-SHIRT!!!!

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I can’t get my underpants off!!!!!!

Here….this is a sunset I shot a couple of years ago.  It’s one of my favorite photos I’ve ever captured.

This one is entitled “The Eye”, because to this day, I still see the cloud formation at the horizon/treeline as appearing to be an eye peeking above over the water. What can I say, I’m weird.

OK, that’s it.  Go home.

Next week…Amanda Seyfried.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Old School Zero

This is a test of the avatar broadcasting system. This is only a test. If this were a true emergency, this post would be followed by copious anal bleeding.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

MY SPOON IS TOO BIG

Old School Zero

SO IS MY AVATAR

Old School Zero

Never mind. Now I’m all shrinkage.

Horatio Cornblower

“this post would be followed by copious anal bleeding.”

Too late.

Old School Zero

Jeebus. You better buy the wife flowers AND chocolate, then.

Horatio Cornblower

No airbrushing there at all.

WCS

ballsofsteelandfury

I knew I made a good decision when I asked you to do this. You have surpassed all my expectations. Fucking awesome job!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just like my life, it’s always about balls to you, isn’t it?

King Hippo

all I notice is DEM SHOULDERS so you good

King Hippo

Nah, she likes Kevin James, so I’m guessing D-U-M-B. So, technically, she COULD be sane, and get her 2-fer-3 that way.

But hot, sane, and dumb is no fly zone FOAR Hippo (as if I’d ever have this choice to make) because I am one self-destructive muthafucka.

King Hippo

ALWAYS hot, smart, and batshit, is why I retired.

ballsofsteelandfury

That is a perfectly good and appropriate picture. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

King Hippo

part deux:

Close your eyes and then it’s past…

Horatio Cornblower

I have seen Mike Ness and whatever four guys he’s calling Social Distortion at the time many, many times. They either blow the roof off the place or straight mail it in. There’s no in between.

King Hippo

my happy Friday night contribution:

Horatio Cornblower

“Sare Jean Underwood meets her crush Kevin James”

Oh fuck YOU universe.

King Hippo

That’s ok, fuckweasel, at least I can still see my dick when I take it out (solely to pee ,, smgdh BUT STILL)

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad rationalized his vote he will cast for Trump as something that will let informed people that will buck the system run the nation

#chiildrapeisok

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Susan Dorn is actually the villain in Major League. She wants to fuck over a fanbase so much she cheats on her cheating husband only to ruin other peoples lives and the hopes of a city. The rational answer is divorce papers, she choses ruin a city.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bite your tongue. Suzanne Dorn is high quality milf in that film. Rachel Phelps and Roger Dorn are bad eggs, and Dorn only buys into the team concept despite wild thing fucking his wife.

Brocky

interesting theory.

the real villain are those fucking groundskeepers. their sub par maitenince is the actual cause of all of the cleveand’s problems.

including the Cleveland Torso Murderer

King Hippo

ah, the Dreaded Giraffe Sprint followed IMMEDIATELY by a Giraffe Sneak? What a treat FOAR the ladies that video montage was.

For the record, I was on vacation with a ladyfriend (still unpaid at that point, believe it or not!!) and gave up on the game at the 3-TD deficit and had NO IDEA State had come back until almost 5pm.

Oh, and yeah, Oregon gals is TOTES the best, though the cray-cray is strong.

Brocky

comment image

screw it. there’s other sexy women on TV

Brocky

not that i’m an expert on such things, but there’s this site called “reddit”

it has these things called “subreddits”

anyways, there’s this peculiarly named one called /r/nsfwCelebArchive that may or may not be a boon to what you seek.

Brocky

having trouble with this gif. sorry if its not up to sexy friday standards, lets try one more time

https://gfycat.com/DifferentActiveFairyfly

ALXMAC
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“Heyword is a convicted felon isn’t he Monty?”

“Doesn’t really say it here”

“Well he should be”

– Major League rewatch

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Back from date night, but I had to drive. So just fixed myself a Remember the Maine. I keep mentioning it because you all should try it. Rye, sweet vermouth, cherry heering, and absinthe. I don’t get paid royalties if you drink it, too, but I should.

ALXMAC
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Per the Debbie Downer comment, this is my fave:

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/debbie-downer/n11825

Brocky

You know, this show, like many others on tv, just can’t live up to hbo, but damn if it’s not trying:

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Shogun Marcus

Yes. Hotel, 5th season.

Shogun Marcus

As I understand it, there’s no need to watch in order. I watched Hotel this week cuz it was on. Coven is agreed as the worst one so no wonder you stopped (I saw a couple before giving up). Watching the current one and it’s not bad, if a little uneven.

Brocky

yep, season 5.

obviously anything featuring daddario is worth a glance, and anyone whose ever tried to convince anybody that lady gaga is ugly is a fucking idiot.

Horatio Cornblower

Wait some guy bangs Lady Gaga AND Daddario and this is supposed to be a horror story?

Shogun Marcus
Brick Meathook

Never has a one-joke sketch escalated as gloriously as this:
(from “Mister Show” season 3)
https://youtu.be/HrlS9_n8GX4

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh my the Canadiens winning streak is going down in magnificent fashion.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Seamus if you need a rub and tug, I’ll give you Tom Cruise’s number.

Smooches!

ALXMAC
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sorry to hear about your friend, tWBS, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about a friend that passed too soon, and I still miss him after three years gone. Sucks, but it’s important to share the grief and love with others. We’re here for you, even if it’s just with bad jokes and bad dicks and bad dick jokes.

Brocky

That really sucks about your friend. There’s no way around it. Condolences.

Brocky

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ALXMAC
jjfozz

My condolences on your loss. And my thanks for those pictures. I’m wondering what version of the ravens will show up on sunday? doesn’t matter, i’m getting fucked up.

ALXMAC
Brocky

I’m so glad I can watch clips of this again without being worried about jinxing the cubs

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I couldn’t find my DVD of it but that clip inspired me to just find it online to watch

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

This is a favorite song about losing a friend:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FeGpQDQvkK8

Brocky

Alright, I’ll play along for now:

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scotchnaut

/watching “Michael Clayton” for the fifteenth-est time

“This movie ‘splains how the world really works.”

-the deep-seated cynic in me that won’t go away

Unsurprised

One of two movies I’ve actually purchased from Amazon Prime. The other is The Third Man.

Plus Orphan Black, but that’s TV

scotchnaut

“The Third Man”? I like you very much all of a sudden.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’ve purchased “Dirty Work” and nothing else.

/regrets nothing

scotchnaut

That’s not the most amazing pic I’ve ever seen.*

*a liar

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you don’t like it?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You know the Blackhawks are on top in the west, how dare you.

Unsurprised

Damn Illuminati

comment image

ALXMAC