Your “Your Patience Has Been Rewarded” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

KC/Den-I love this sort of game. The D’s on both teams are so much better than the O’s they’re facing. The first OC or qb to find a weakness (this will probably take some time) will end up winning this tilt. That’s if the D’s don’t end up waging a fumble/intercept-returned-for-a-touchdown war.

Enjoy-TYPE AWAY!

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Doktor Zymm

Love the “I’m not dead!” quick pop up.

Doktor Zymm

It doesn’t have the same ring to it as “whisky tits” but I did just spill some gin down my front.

Dunstan

Gin jugs

Romonobyl

You’re just dying to break the reply record, aren’t you?

The Maestro

After a massive, massive catch from Juron Criner to keep the drive alive, Henry Burris scores his second rushing TD of the night and Ottawa is back in control. Early misses the XP; it’s a 10-point lead for the REDBLACKS, 33-23.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good thing Denver has a strong, capable leader under center to rally the–BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

King Hippo

Looks like it won’t be a late night, anyway.

King Hippo

Tyreek Hill, destroyer of dreams. Asshole.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Well I’m okay with this too.

makeitsnowondem

good fucking christ

Old School Zero

Hail Tim Dwight, Patron Saint Of Special Teams!

Old School Zero

Hail Yog Safeoth?

...

A quick search on Pro Football Reference reveals no game has ever ended 2-0.

LET’S MAKE THIS HAPPEN, PEOPLE.

...

Oh fuck you Kansas City.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I really, really want this game to end 2-0.

Doktor Zymm

I add my support to this

Doktor Zymm

Just in time for 8-0

...

Great. We all fucking jinxed it.

Sharkbait

Good lord. Glad I’m missing this game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does safety free kick count as a punt? I guess not.

Col. Duke LaCross

When was the last 2-0 game?

Dunstan

Bears-Packers, 1938

...

Bah. Pro-football reference only goes back to 1940.

makeitsnowondem

Yep, insurmountable lead.

...

WOOOOOOOOOOO SAFETY

King Hippo

Here comes the safety and insurmountable lead

Wakezilla

Christ, that sounds boring

Petronel

A-yup.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Punt #8

Wakezilla

Uh oh. Bad Burris is showing his bed shitting self. This Grey Cup is about to get interesting. …

Anyone have the Batman Telltale game? What’s the gameplay like?

The Maestro

Burris throws his first pick of the game. Things are not looking good for the REDBLACKS.

Romonobyl

That’s a team name that will equally piss of both the African and Native Americans. Just sayin’.

Wakezilla

It’s OK. The owner’s great grandfather and Ottawa s first coach was half aboriginal and half black. So it’s kosher

King Hippo

know what goes great with oxycodone and massive football-related anxiety? ICE CREAM!!

Romonobyl

Let me guess. You’re currently standing in front of your refrigerator with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in one hand and a gravy spoon in the other.

Wakezilla

I have to admit, Ernest Jackson not dropping a pass all year is surprising. Mainly because he couldn’t catch chalmydia from a twoomie hooker when he played for BC

blackroseMD1

This game makes me want to take a nap.

Is Westworld on yet?

Wakezilla

Whenever I see Westworld, I always seem to think of Waterworld first.

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Punt #7

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ooooh, an O Line benching, exciting!

/goes to sleep

The Maestro

After challenging pass interference on the goal line, Andrew Buckley comes in at QB to do an end-around for a TD. Calgary scores, but misses the XP. 27-23, REDBLACKS.

As a REDBLACKS fan, my butthole is tight currently.

Dunstan

And the Grey Cup makes its tribute to SHANKLOR!

Or SHANKLOUR, as his name is spelled there.

King Hippo

Christ, our RTs. Worst position grouping in the league.

Shogun Marcus

More Batman Telltale series for now. Go Donks (foar teh Hippo).

Wakezilla

What’s the game play like? Ive only seen dialogue. I’m interested in buying the game, but am worried how it plays

Shogun Marcus

It’s all qte’s and dialogue. Think Until Dawn or the Walking Dead series. You play to drive the story, not the action.

Gratliff

Finally got around to Arkham Knight since I was able to get it with all expansions for 15 bucks on Xbox One. It’s so good that I kind of regret not jumping on it after shunning the series following Arkham Origins.

Shogun Marcus

Origins was an unloved stepchild. The Rocksteady Trilogy is unbelievable. Knight is an excellent game, no matter how you feel about the batmobile.

Doktor Zymm

So…open another bottle of wine, or gin and something?

Sharkbait
...

I nominate gin.

Shogun Marcus

You already know the answer if you’re asking.

jjfozz

Aaaaaaand American Horror Story time.

Catch you fuckers later.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Remember, folks, the NFL flexed this game into the evening spot. They honestly thought this game would be more entertaining than the Jets-Patriots.

...

The god of three-and-outs is reigning tonight.

...

I guess god of punts would be more accurate.

The Maestro

End of the third. Ottawa up by 10 still, but Calgary’s driving.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Punt #6.

jjfozz

I don’t care how stone cold fucking crazy Mariah Carey is, I want to put my penis in her butt.

Romonobyl

Isn’t that a Boyz to Men song?

Doktor Zymm

I usually don’t give a shit, but damn, I HATE THAT FONT

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is that what the neighbors called Andrew Luck after the arson incident?

Doktor Zymm

It’s early, I am sure there will be score points. But when, if ever, was the last 0-0 tie?

Dunstan

Giants-Lions 1943, according to my Googling

...

November 7th 1943. Giants and Lions tied nil-nil.

Happened on other time: September 15th 1940 between the Lions (again) and the Cardinals.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So not since Hitler died?

We’re due.

Romonobyl

I think it was a chess match in Gdansk back in 1947.

Old School Zero
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If they get a first down, I’ll have turkey. If not, ham.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Turkey it is!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Punt #5

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Unaffiliated neurological consultant” is a lot of syllables for Cris while Goodell’s balls are in his mouth.

jjfozz

And he doesn’t sound nasal, what with Goodell’s jizz being shot right up into his sinus cavities

The Maestro

Lemar Durant makes the catch, goes down, ruling on the field is a touchdown. Play is being reviewed to see whether he was down by contact or not.

The Maestro

It’s a touchdown. 27-17, REDBLACKS.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“5 yards further back”

– Aldon Smith, explaining to police which fence he crashed through

...

“He confused further and farther. Clearly drunk. Arrest him.”

jjfozz

“I love you as much as a human heart can.”

Track down the fuckbrain who actually wrote this line of dialogue and shove used tampons down his throat.

Gratliff
jjfozz

I know nothing about this man, but I will buy his jersey.

Gratliff

He is a monster fighter and a great power forward. Not only is he the Flyers’ primary enforcer, he’s also like 2nd in the league in PP goals in the last 5 years. He’s great for gifs of being awesome/mauling people.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vYxW5q14aPY

Sharkbait

As an Ice Giants fan, I’m pre programmed to hate this man.

Sharkbait

Picking a McIlrath gif is cheating!

Gratliff

If nothing else, at least you have the current standings to look at. Flyers goaltenders are doing everything they can to drag the Flyers kicking and screaming to a high draft pick.

Doktor Zymm

Which has a worse risk/reward ratio? RB, OL or DL? They all seem like positions you end up in cause they’re what you’re best at, but lots of injuries and not the best pay.

Gratliff

It’s gotta be RB, right? You get like 5 years and then you have the body and brain of a 60 year old.

Doktor Zymm

That was my original thought, but I feel like linemen on both sides are pretty under appreciated as well. They have somewhat longer careers, but also loads of hits and injuries, and relatively low pay.

Shogun Marcus

All either line does is take and give hits. It’s their sole purpose. And by proportion the pay is low. Going strictly on that, it’s them.

blackroseMD1

Eric Berry just murdered somebody on national television.

King Hippo

yeah, I’d like the Chefs to put him on offense for a play and let Von and pals have a lick at him.

blackroseMD1

I’d enjoy watching that as well.

jjfozz

Dear every car manufacturer,

Go die in a chemical fire. Fuck you and fuck your big red bows.

Eat it,
Love Fozz

Sharkbait

How are you people?

Not watching the game yet, the wife is watching the Crown. I must say the history nerd in me is entertained by the series so far.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I loved it and can’t wait to watch it again to pick up on the things I missed. It’s absolutely gorgeous.

...

This is a good endorsement and I think I’ll watch it now.

Old School Zero

I’m all right. Sipping a strong saison and dinner’s almost ready.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What do you mean, “you people”?

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think 60 degrees is too cold to swim outside, but I assume all the outdoor pools will be closed….what are the odds on using a swimsuit if I pack one?

Old School Zero

“60%” — Nate Silver

...

TOO SOON GODDAMN IT.