KC/Den-I love this sort of game. The D’s on both teams are so much better than the O’s they’re facing. The first OC or qb to find a weakness (this will probably take some time) will end up winning this tilt. That’s if the D’s don’t end up waging a fumble/intercept-returned-for-a-touchdown war.
Enjoy-TYPE AWAY!
JESUS FUCK, DENVER
Dammit, I’ve been furiously organizing a hard drinking dinner party for January, and I finally look up and commercials. FUCK YOU NFL.
Oh, you know I’ll be murdering some Italian dude in a rubber suit and then making sauce that ain’t too salty!
it was one thing to lose to a legitimately awesome pass rusher and a 4.25 punt returner, BUT NOT GODDAMNED TINY HANDS
Congratulations to the Maestro for Ottawa’s Grey Cup win. That was a fucking incredible game.
Guard. Fucking. Kelce.
I little love for Teh Maestro:
http://advisoranalyst.advisoranalystgr.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/bob-and-doug1.jpg
I’m kind of sad that Siemian isn’t enough of a cultural thing that we have a consensus as to Simian or Semen for how we make fun of him.
Frankly, I like the flexibility Ol’ Monkey Jizz gives us to make fun of him.
Hooray! Best of both worlds!
woooooooooooooo insurmountable lead
Heh. You said “mount.”
Hrmm…this is putting a wrench in my Andy Reid FUCK EAGLES FANS Chiefs Super Bowl plans.
WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You have your moments, Siemian.
He didn’t make it. Bullshit spot.
FORTY. FUCKING. YEARS.
I AM DANCING RIGHT NOW
I KNOW THIS IS PIDDLY FOOTBALL BUT I AM SO GODDAMN HAPPY RIGHT NOW
Congratulations!
we are as happy for you as we can be happy FOAR a P*ts fan.
May you feast on the finest poutine in the land.
Holy shit Ottawa!
Congrats, Maestro!
Woo! Never need qualifiers to celebrate a championship!
OTTAWA WINS THEIR FIRST GREY CUP IN FORTY YEARS
HOLY FUCK THIS IS AMAZING
I’m beside myself with….meh?
No doobt aboot it, eh?
Congratulations to the Senators.
What’s that?
WOOOO HAPPY OTTAWANS.
Does Mercedes want us to believe that people who can afford their cars also can’t afford phones to call each other when the shitty weather is going to screw up their movie dates?
This isn’t the NLF’s best, is it?
CARRIE UNDERWOOD LIED TO US!!!!!
Whoops, just turned it back on. This is punt #11?
ERNEST JACKSON JUGGLES IT AND MAKES THE TD CATCH! They’re going for two now. Calgary will get a possession from the 3 after this. Ottawa misses the 2 point conversion.
35, sorry
Gonna watch this Canadian football thing. 10% more field means 10% more fun.
The 55 yard line makes as much sense as 110%.
Most polite referee in the business.
Oh thank glavin for the Simpsons marathon right now.
We’re going to overtime in the Grey Cup.
It was nice knowing you all folks.
Overtime in the Grey Cup? Sure, why the hell not?
I’m shitting my pants here
The fuck just happened in the dirt hockey game?
Onside kick
Technical difficulties
I think ESPN2 just cut away to bring us the Drone Racing League.
Now they’re saying “technical difficulties.”
ESPN not showing a ton of respect to our neighbors to the north.
So, I have a new Midwestie Bestie! Work friend who lives a block from me, and probably the only woman I’ve ever met who can out drink me. But she’s super tall, so if you do a pound for pound comparison I think I’m still good. She’s adorably Midwestern, super liberal but hasn’t had too much exposure to other cultures, so she gets almost giddy about briefly hanging out with people outside what she’s grown up with. I think we’ll get on well.
“Midwestie Bestie!”
/cringes
Tall is nice though.
I picked that phrase specifically for its cringeworthyness! I’m glad you noticed!
You’ve been around my people for too long.
That being said, one of our virtues is that we’re voracious drinkers.
Might be arranging a dinner party in Jan, you, me, Midwestie Bestie, and my friend Bruno, the pub trivia secret weapon. You in?
This can be done.
Just for giggles, tell her you’re a card-carrying member of the NRA and see how she reacts.
Should be fun!
Probably fine. The NRA leadership is nuts, but few people here are anti-gun.
Calgary pulls off the onside kick.
I’m shitting my pants here.
Andy called timeout, so we could punt out of bounds, so he could take a knee. THIS FUCKING GAME.
“Is it bad offense or great defense?”
33-30, REDBLACKS. 90 seconds left. Onside kick may be coming.
Coming — and recovered!
“This is a violent game tonight…” – Cris
Yep, so violent that Trent Green got a drive-by concussion.
Fuck oxy, I need actual black tar for the 2nd half. WHO’s HOLDIN??
Punt #10
Punt #9
Drink?
Are you drinking with each punt or are you too bored to move your limbs?
His hands are too tiny to defend himself!
This kind of score never happens when I get ridiculous numbers at an office football pool.
That’s “0ffense,” spelled with a ZERO
WE HAVE A PITCHER’S DUEL YOU GUYS!!!!!!
Off topic, but the Little Black Dress was either invented by a straight man or a very horny woman. I’m only saying this because Mrs Nobyl just modeled a new one she recently got.
I’ll be in my trailer…
And you were going to settle for a handie.
There’s a lot of variation in how little the little black dress is. Most women have a variety.
This is going to be a cocktease of a field goal drive
You fucking suck, Siemian
You sound like my wife when I ask her where she wants it.
The Chiefs have 1/3 of the turnovers of the Jets.
Great, now I want empanadas.
Assassin’s Creed: The Movie
You didn’t play the games at all, did you?
This could have been good. This could have been really, really good.
Why does this not surprise me. Video game movies never turn out well.
3:21 to go, and Bo Levi Mitchell gets picked off a third time! Forrest Hightower with his second pick of the game, and it’s a huge, huge play.
Tomorrow I will wear dark lipstick to cover up the red wine stains on my lips. Dudes can’t do that. Is that why y’all drink less wine?
We want you to NOTICE when we wear dark lipstick
Oh, honey, I notice. I’ll even lie and say you look like Robert Smith.
I don’t think most of us even realize that was a thing.
Then you have clearly not had enough red wine in one evening. We shall remedy this.
Hippo would like a DevontaeDOWN, on multiple levels.
Eric Berry dishing out helmet tonight like he’s at the AVN awards
Jesus Christ. I missed the Kaep-Castro thing earlier. Is suicide-by-public-opinion a thing now?
I do love Eric Berry though. One day I will take him horseback riding (no, I won’t, but it would be neat).
“I don’t think it was helmet-to-helmet contact…”
No, Cris, I agree. Berry hit him so hard their actual skulls collided.
Eric Berry is a dirty motherfucker.
The radiation transformed him from Asshole to SuperAsshole.
Henry Burris has 426 yards passing on the night, the first Grey Cup game to have a QB throw for 400-plus in 20 years.
6 minutes left in the game.
Sounds a lot like indoor league “football”.
That’s 348 more yards than he had in his one NFL start as a Chicago Bear in Week 17 of the 2002 season!
(Bears lost 15-0 on FIVE field goals.)