Your “Your Patience Has Been Rewarded” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

KC/Den-I love this sort of game. The D’s on both teams are so much better than the O’s they’re facing. The first OC or qb to find a weakness (this will probably take some time) will end up winning this tilt. That’s if the D’s don’t end up waging a fumble/intercept-returned-for-a-touchdown war.

Enjoy-TYPE AWAY!

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King Hippo

the world is going to end, and I can’t even get one lousy home win over the shitass Chefs first?

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. The Jets Jetsed, I see.

Old School Zero

Not only did the Jets Jet, the Jets Jetsed at the most Jets Jetsing time to Jet.

Senor Weaselo

And I see Dok one-upped my potential banner quote!

...

Ha. THE CHANCE OF A TIE LIVES.

JerBear50

Dude, what are you talking about?
–D. McNabb

Old School Zero

I STILL BELIEVE

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

This.

I feel like we need a deity that we praise for ties.

Dunstan

Maybe not praise so much as politely acknowledge but are mostly indifferent to.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I have no strong feelings about this either way.

JerBear50

The goddess of ties, Besohermana.

blackroseMD1

Ok, I left the game when it was 9-3. What is all this glorious fuckery that’s happened since?

Did Andy Reid eat Trevor Simien?

Brocky

Someone ate something, that’s for sure

King Hippo

fuck everything

makeitsnowondem

I WANT TO WATCH WESTWORLD YOU ASSHOLES

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I skipped the second quarter to watch it, so I’m good with OT

King Hippo

you can watch that and still turn your brain off for sleep?

makeitsnowondem

Yeah man, I just rest in a deep and dreamless slumber.

...

Well fuck.

Old School Zero

Oh holy shit, GAME NOT OVER

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

BUT IS IT A CATCH?!?!?!?!?!

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Col. Duke LaCross

That’s asking a lot from Andy Reid, Cris.

King Hippo

that’s a TD

Old School Zero

Wait, so if the call stands, do they put time on the clock and let KC get into formation to spike it?

Old School Zero

WE’LL NEVER KNOW

Brocky

Derek wolfe.

At best, he’s the potentially the third best pass rusher on the broncos.

So why the fuck is his jersey so popular. I’ve seen 3 of them, and and only 1 Lamar miller

Old School Zero

Chiefs really airing it out. That one almost made it to the first down marker.

Dunstan

“You see, America? I told you that you would get a wall, and I have made NBC pay for it.” — Donald J. Trump

Trevor Semen

THAT’S MY BOY!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Antonio Cromartie, frequently

litre_cola

I love u commentists, I am on my living room floor drinking Powers Irish whisky, listening to the Smiths. Tomorrow will suck.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Love you too, man.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Drink some water. Good luck.

litre_cola

Will do so after whisky. Probably the best idea.

Brocky

I am not going to be happy for trevor.

Mother fucker is throwing to the wrong receivers.

hippofant

Phillip Gaines, stop making me sad. You’re on my Madden franchise!

Old School Zero

What the hell was he looking at? Did someone play a cat video on their phone for him?

WCS

that isn’t how one footballs chefs

Doktor Zymm

Game, it be over. Have a nice sleep y’all.

King Hippo

we need one pitch or slant for 2 lousy yards

makeitsnowondem

Or, and hear me out here…

Dunstan

Wait, the Patriots traded away a white receiver?

King Hippo

TE, let’s not get cray-cray

King Hippo

trying to recall the last multi-safety game I saw

WCS

I kind of wish the water in that pool was acid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I hear you, man.”

– Shahid Khan

Romonobyl

Gave up on the game awhile ago. Am I missing anything?

Dunstan

Evenly matched semi-competence.

Doktor Zymm

It’s actually not bad

Dunstan

Besides, surely you don’t want to miss the Andy Reid clock mismanagement that is imminent?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The R.E.D. album was meh, but Jesus Piece was decent.

King Hippo

I’m gonna have a stroke of my own.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Someone should do a re-cut of that “You Don’t Own Me” commercial except instead of all the original footage they should just show a conversation between Cam Newton and Jerry Richardson.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’d watch 3/5ths of it.

Doktor Zymm

Eh, sounds like a compromise.

Brocky

Okay, I’m normally not one to spread disinformation and lies, but if someone could somehow tell demarius Thomas that his mother WILL back to jail if he fails to score a touchdown, that would be great

makeitsnowondem

I mean, for all I know, this is 100% true.

Doktor Zymm

Dear Shan’khor. Fuck you with a spiked whatever you don’t want spiked.

WCS

ooff fence?

makeitsnowondem

We’re not paying Sanders enough.

makeitsnowondem

I mean, look at the poor guy. He can only afford one sleeve!

JerBear50

Yeah, and those rumpled, off the rack suits. No wonder he couldn’t get the nomination.

Doktor Zymm

Dear Shan’khor, how cool would a tie be?

Doktor Zymm

HAH! That’s hilarious and stupid.

makeitsnowondem

Dumbshittery all the way up the chain of command.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Would be an infinitely better song for the “You Don’t Own Me” car commercial.

https://youtu.be/IG720OgP_ow

makeitsnowondem

They need to build a reverse invisible fence around the field and put the collar on Norwood.

Horatio Cornblower

Von Miller is kinda good at football you guys.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s *sort of* a DOINK.

Dunstan

Nothing like a good muff.

King Hippo

we are the dumbest bunch of shits tonight

hippofant

Wow, did a Bronco just shove Norwood post-play?

Horatio Cornblower

I saw that. He should probably shower and leave now.

Or just leave.

Doktor Zymm

Oh hey, that’s neat.

Doktor Zymm

HAHAHAHA THIS IS THE ESSENCE OF WHO ANDY REID IS!!

Col. Duke LaCross

RATT-N-ROLL!

King Hippo

remind anyone else of their 7-11 pog collection?

Shogun Marcus

Uncle Milty approves as he checks his wristwatch. After he moves his penis out of the way.

...

I see we’ve reached the obligatory “tongue the balls of the plutocrats” portion of the night.

Dunstan

Whoa, I feel like that Cialis commercial was an origin story: couples actually go antiquing for those matching outdoor bathtubs?

Doktor Zymm

“I’m looking for this bathtub”
“Me too!”
“Would you like to have sex once a month when my heart is healthy enough?”
“Totes!”

Dunstan

And yet, that scenario makes more sense to me than those Viagra single pack commercials.
“If you’ve spent every last dime of your money on expensive weekend trips with your girlfriend/mistress, good news: you don’t have to splurge on an entire bottle of Viagra any more!”

King Hippo

the single pack HAS to be for the “guy getting a hooker” market

Shogun Marcus

If you think you should ask your doctor…the answer is already no.

makeitsnowondem

Actually, Cris, everything about this game suggests that the Chiefs should have drawn up every play to leave Von Miller unblocked.

makeitsnowondem

NEVER TAKE PINTS OFF THE BOARD

— Andy Reid at Ben & Jerry’s

Doktor Zymm

If there should be a KC TD here, I would not object, strenuously or otherwise, if it was a Ware TD.

Horatio Cornblower

How do you feel about Tyreke Hill?

Doktor Zymm

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