I’m having a hell of a time starting the intro for this game-not because it doesn’t have its merits but because as I type my wife is cooking bacon. Is she making a BLT? Perhaps a chicken club sandwich? My mind is reeling at the possibilities. Umm, there’s only 4 more of these Monday Nighters left, folks. TO THE GAME!
GB/Phi-At one point the Pack was 4-2 and all the cheese was delicious and life-giving. Four straight losses later and the skies overhead are filled with Crestorcirrus, Lipitorstratus and Zocornimbus clouds. This looks to me like a ‘loser gets nothing’ game because Green Bay is 4-6 and the Eagles are 5-5 and stuck in a division with Dallas (not going to catch them) and the Giants (8-3) and the Redacteds (6-4-1). Major sports sites will tell you “it’s not over!” for the loser, “they could still win out!”. But c’mon, do either of these deeply-flawed teams have the wherewithal/talent to run the table? I’m shaking my head as well. Rb Sproles has a broken rib but is expected to play-how is that even possible? I expect that Smallwood will get the majority of the touches. Struggling rook qb Wentz should take some shots downfield-the last two qb’s to play against Green Bay’s complete mess of a secondary had ratings of +145. Oof!
There you have it-GIMMEE ALL YOU GOT!
Live look-in at Clay Matthews:
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lvpf3p8OOI1qhf777o1_500.gif
Holy shit
holy moly nice catch
I have heard this Toyota commercial so much I feel like the song is talking about a Roots re-boot.
What drives me nuts is that you only get the backstory of one woman. Her chef boss was a bastard chef and she’s all like “fuck you, I’ll serve food on my own terms.”
But where do these other women come from? Which men told them they’re terrible failures? And why is buying a Toyota the manifestation of your ROAR?
I’d swap gravy with that chef lady!
I’d just dump it on the floor and tell her to get the fuck out.
Is it just me, or is the chef chick from the Corolla commerical pretty fuckin cute?
She’s okay, I guess. I’m kind of tired of her, though, I see her more often than I see my own wife.
“Mrs. Rikki-Tikki-Deadly, I was so tired of seeing your face every day but then this Toyota commercial chick showed up every other commercial break, and now you seem fresh and new.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
She is hot, so is the roller derby chick
IZ CARSON WENTS ELEET?
How’s the consolation prize bowl going?
I got tired of turkey, so I’m eating a german sausage with cheese in it. So I guess I’m rooting for the Packers?
I thought Gruden just said, “The timing that Nelson and Rogers have is COCKWORK.”
But I was wrong.
Or WAS I?
“If you’re wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
– Aaron Rodgers
“…plays both what now?”
–Aaron Rodgers
I have done a lot of crazy shit over the years. I have commissioned some of the tallest cranes in the world and I hate heights. I have wired up panels miles below the earth for mining elevators. Hell I have started up an aircraft carrier engine room while drunk more times than I can count….
I am attempting to start the process of purchasing my first home and I am UTTERLY terrified. I nearly started hyperventilating at the bank just talking to the loan officer. I’m used to just packing my shit up and living in shit hole apartments and hotels short term…
Just act like you believe escrow actually means a thing, and you’ll be fine.
Do two things: find a reputable mortgage guy and a reputable realtor. Do your research.
If a troglodyte like me can buy a home, you’ll be fine.
So… this guy?
You know the funny thing…during Thanksgiving I was rewiring my brother’s basement and he was warning me I would have to make sure I was ready to take on the responsibility kg home ownership.
I have also forwarded his basement, redone his one bathroom, and as a favor to his wife, redid their kitchen….on my vacations over the last two years.
Their 5 year old daughter understands how to use hand tools better than my brother.
“Um….brother…the regular maintenance is the LEAST of my worries”
Jesus Christ. I don’t know whether to admire you or feel sorry for your insistence on treating family like … family.
If it make you feel better about taking the leap, Steve Bannon will soon try to restrict voting rights to property owners.
WHITE property owners
There’s a good chance I’ll be in your shoes next year and I too am rather scared at the magnitude of the commitment.
So, SOLIDARITY!
It’s really not that bad, and you can do everything online nowadays. I never actually met anyone from my mortgage company. You just need to compile all your asset statements and tax returns and you can submit them all electronically.
This is awesome/
Skycam is my version of, “Fucking magnets, how do they work?”
I thought that was cunnilingus.
iPhone 7 Stereo Speakers: YOU TOO CAN BE AN ARROGANT OLD FUCK AT THE POOL!
Hey, you guys in the U.S.-which fried chicken chain is the best?
Local chain: Royal Farms.
National: Fucking Popeyes.
KFC is recycled shit fried in decades old crease.
Royal Farms is shit, top to bottom.
Popeye’s. I do need to go to a Kennedy/Crown Fried Chicken one of these days, as a self-respecting New Yorker.
Going to the Kennedy Fried in Plainfield NJ is on my bucket list.
Popeye’s.
I like Church’s, personally, which is mainly in the South. There used to be a truly awesome chain called Maryland Fried Chicken, but I don’t know how many of those are left.
Church’s is fantastic
Popeye’s
Fuck it, this is local as shit to me, but I don’t go anywhere else for fried chicken after going here.
http://www.churcheskitchen.com/
Me try to find brown ball gamey. Me watchie 5 secunds of the Voice. Me am dumb and me go find choco taco with the Ben.
BuyLeesa.com sounds like a website Jerry Richardson would visit when looking for a new housekeeper.
McDonough sounds suspicously like Jordan Kleper.
Colts Jets next Monday! WOOOOOOOO BATTLE OF THE NETWORK AMISH STARS!!!
NECKBEARD VS ACTUAL BEARD.*
*No Mrs Munn will not be in the building.
How many times will they compare Stanford and Harvard?
I was only kind of paying attention, but I’m assuming the Packers are using their offensive starters on D as well?
For the secondary. Line is still ok for now.
“…and Green Bay brings in their heavy guys on defense…”
They’re pulling a fan out of the stands to play for them?
I’m hoping Gruden raves about how this game is turning into a shootout immediately after talking about a player that went to Ohio State.
Oof!
My decent human being says “Too soon!”
My inner shithead says “Not soon enough!”
That’s why I put it on Gruden instead of having the courage to make the joke myself.
Jesus fucking Christ
GB assistant defensive coach: Shouldnt we have a defensive back in the middle of the field, behind the LBs. maybe as some sort of Safety?
Mike McCarthy: FUCK YOU SMARTASS WE HAVE SAM SHIELDS
Same Shields: *stares off into space because he’s concussed as fuck*
Looks like starting DGB was smart. Maybe I’ll improve to 3-9 after all.
Rodgers does continually ask Matthews to go back inside and make an impact, yes, Jon, that is technically true.
THIS DORELL GREEN BECKHAHAM, I CALL HIM ODELL BECKHAM BECAUSE THEY’RE PROBBABLY RELATED
Did McDonough just list Tiny Darren as six feet, twelve inches tall?
6 feet, give or take 12 inches tall?
McNabb’s in the audience tonight. Hopefully, the checkpoints aren’t set up.
“If you make yourself throw up, the residual stomach acid throws off the breathalyzer.”
“Goddamn Bastard That Got Us To A Super Bowl-Let’s String Him Up!”
-Eagles Fans
I love Donovan McNabb The Eagles Football Thrower. That being said, I fucking despise drunk driving and will throw shade at people to their face for getting DUIs.
That didn’t take long. I wonder how insane the family is right now…. let’s check and see, shall we?
“R.E.L.AX. Thats usually what I do when I’m pretending Olivia has a penis”
Classic form on that celebratory donkey punch by A.A.Ron.
Com…pe…ten…ce?
Rhymes with Mike Pence-not acceptable.
Hey ESPN… still using Adobe Flash…. fuck you Worldwide Leader
I’m guessing that this tune isn’t on Aaron Rodger’s list of favourite tunes..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBpYgpF1bqQ
Of course it’s going to be MVP Cyborg A.A.Ron when he’s playing the Eagles.
“Nobody has a quicker release than Aaron Rodgers” This is the first time Jon Gruden has quoted from a Castro District bathhouse wall. History!
And the Packers Band Played On
That will conclude the running portion of the show.
That flag is so disappointing, Kaep is still standing.
I thought you said something else, I am not standing, honey!
I’m playing Don T in DFO2 this week; he would likely have beaten me had he started Kaep (85.33 pts) instead of Palmer (37.27 pts).
+1 Getting layedthe fuck out by a Cuban dude.
At least ya’ll won.
Evening, folks.
Hello, major theme of Thomas Pynchon’s “V”.
OY!!
Once again, I forgot these fucking tools are calling MNF games.
Ooooh a prostate milker doing play-by-play and a flavored condom on color?!?!
I mean, basically
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOING TONIGHT BOYS?
I’m good. Wadda you imbibing?
Well seeing as I got sick from baby sitting my nephews: Pedialyte. There’s nothing quite like waking up at 12 in the morning, and again at 4 in the morning to blow chunks.
I’ma got a scotch (natch) a Grolsch and some ice water over here. You?
Three slices of pizza and Canada Dry!
That’s my code for a transgender prostitute!
Oh boy, Eagles games! Where Tony from Passyunk will call Aaron Rodgers a “fag” but is still closeted at age 54.
Going out for Mrs Colas b-day tonight to a BBQ and crab shack. Praying there is a TV there.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in that very situation.
I am in 16th place in the Insanity League and my team name is “Agholoree Boys”. There are no coincidences.
I got Matthews very Tiny Darren tonight. With Abongwhore scratched this bodes well.
I do like how this game was sold as “these teams are failing and DESPERATE and they may do ANYTHING to win.”
Except catch a TD pass!
I will dooooo annnnnyyyything for love.
But I won’t catch that.
I have zero hope and zero expectations for this game. However my wife surprised me with the HRTN POSTER!!! She’s a keeper. So with that in mind, LET’S GET HYPE! WHERE’S A WALL?! I GIVE YOU A DRUMLINE:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=kQPVeNtiBOI
Helmet is NOT the same without John Stainer on drums. Shouldn’t even be called the same damn band. Paige Hamilton needs many swift kicks to the throat.
/end hawt semi-obscure band taek
True. Stainer is truly missed. But at least we got Betty.
This is only the second time I’ve watched Steve Berman this year, and we’re definitely getting into “Dick Clark Countdown” territory now.
And Literal Ball Repellant Nelson Aghlor got benched. Why couldn’t he have been in the car with Josh Huff?
I considered mentioning him and his lousy catch rate and ‘mental issues’ but thought better of it.
“Literal ball repellent? Well, obviously. Look at him.”
– Aaron Rodgers.
A few minutes prior, Dilfer was literally talking about quarterbacks, and I’m quoting a professional broadcaster here, “Dealing Big Balls All Over”
/Rodgers smiles contentedly
“I always did like Dilfer.”
“No one likes Dilfer.”
-Dilfer’s mom
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/2981631/no-marbles-o.gif