Wow, It’s freaking December. Remember when we were all so damn giddy way back in September? It seems like almost four months ago now. Time sure does pass interference at the drop of a flag, doesn’t it? There’s only a few more of these babies left this year-I say we embrace them as tightly as we do that large-breasted, slightly tipsy co-worker that wants a hug at the office Christmas party. There’s nothing wrong with that. Now if she happens to be a 20 year-old temp that HR has repeatedly spoken to you about, perhaps not. Look, I’m a big fan of honeydews and cantaloupes and I bring them into work on a regular basis. It’s not my fault that I haul them to her desk and say, “these are the second-biggest melons in this office!” But I undress… TO THE GAME!
Dal/Min-Wanna-be Tampa Bay Bucs avatar Mike Zimmer had surgery on a detached retina and is out for this one. The “NEXT COACH UP!” is Special Teams coordinator Mike “Call Me Michelle And I’ll Gut You” Priefer. If his teams are so special why doesn’t he have a head coaching gig already? The only shot the Vikes have here is to improve on their +20 takeaway number which is third-highest in the league at this point. Stupid November Rookie of the Month DAK! and his stupid 4th best QBR of 108.6 and stupid Ezekiel Elliot and his stupid best 1,199 rushing yards are likely to power past the Vikes fairly easily. Were you aware that them Cowboys have only 4 players on their roster over the age of 30? They’re going to be a competitive team for quite some time. Did I mention that I hate everything? If you were around in the early ’90s you could probably make the argument that Johnny-Come-Lately Cowboy fans have it all over today’s Pats backers. [Charlie Brown-like *sigh*]
As always (except for last week-you don’t see me using ‘family obligations’ as an excuse to not post content, that’s what booze is for) tune in to the extraordinary shenanigans of Josh, Bill, Tim and that other guy whose name I forget and their podcastian greatness. It may very well be just below this here work of art.
Done. GET AT IT!!!
http://fridayatfive.com/plinko.gif
I love it when they have like, 3 or 4 Plinko chips and they all get $0. Hippo laughs and laughs.
/terrible person
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my season waivers deadline is tomorrow at 8, they need to tell me how ded Crazy Eyez is fast. For him AND Thielen’s sake.
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HNNNGH
The NFL talks so much about preventing domestic violence you’d think they were compensating for something.
Talking is easier than doing
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they just had to get, like, 3 players on the line to write the script for that one!
Hey, it’s Super Plinko with Chris Hardwick!
https://www.instagram.com/p/tX7003nvDV/
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This is the saddest 2 minute drill ever
Not according to my ex.
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Now that’s a crazy face.
There we go Collins
Is this game actually happening or did the NFL, twitter, and the rest of the world come together just to troll my ass?
Yes.
Uhh, Clay? Since you’re “the best,” you should realize that you’re down at the 1 and there’s no way that’s a touchdown.
Let’s not forget the delay of game for lying down on the field after the play.
In Goodell’s nfl how do you know for sure?
“Baby don’t hurt me?” What the actual fuck?
that was certainly an appropriate song for that segment…
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Vikings you know you have time outs right?!
they were about as confident in picking up that first down as I was
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Also, Pedigree the dog food can fuck right off.
Gave my Rott that food for 9 years and she developed diabetes.
I fucking hate twitter…I hate the goddamn NFL….I hate my fucking computer and TV.
Its taken me like a goddamn hour of jury-rigging to try and get this fucking shit onto my TV and if it plays for longer than 10 seconds before crashing, maybe I wouldn’t be close to a goddamn nervous fucking breakdown.
Add in on the fact I only have my work laptop so streaming shit is impossible.
BUT THE FUCKING ONLINE COMMERCIALS COME IN FUCKING PERFECT!!!!
An “edgy” version of “the wizard of oz?”
I thought that was the plot to wicked? (which I am proud to say i never saw)
also:
Return to Oz is the best Wizard of Oz movie.
I saw some antique electric machine like one that was in the sanitarium in that movie, and I instantly wanted it, though I had nowhere to put it.
Also, Wicked (the musical) is really quite good. You should not be proud of missing it; nay, you should be slightly sad about what you’re missing out on.
Genuinely the creepiest fucking thing put to film
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Johnny’s Revenge!
I don’t like her music but I do like the idea of Lady Gaga’s Dive Bar tour.
But it needs a lot more Pabst and a lot less Bud Light.
I love dive bars, but am confused as to why that translates to “lady Gaga country-style”
Going back to her roots when she started out doing shitty, underground, mostly-LGBT bars
I thought I read somewhere that she was in an all-ladies Iron Maiden tribute band.
It wouldn’t be a dive bar if it had pabst. Not anymore unless it was unironic and in a truly shitty nongentrified part of town.
This isn’t faux dive. It’s just a dive!
Ride the Brown River!
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Of course Peterson can catch when he’s on the bench
I just realized that someone dubbing Jim Ross over the full video would be great.
Because the Wizard of Oz REALLY NEEDED a gritty reboot.
Teenage assassins are HOT right now
That’s awfully dramatic music for a show that’s gonna be canceled by its third commercial break.
We’re off to see the shitcan, the terrible shitcan of Oz!
Started watching Bats vs Supes last night and HOLY SHIT WHAT A GIGANTIC BOWL OF BLOODY DIARRHEA.
“TELL ME…. DO YOU BLEED? JJ FOZZ’S DIARRHEA DOES.”
It’s tempting sitting there right in On Demand, but why would I do that to myself with Deadpool waiting for a third viewing?
That was my exact thought process last night.
That kid clearly doesn’t give a shit about Breitbart.
#boycottkelloggs
/don’t actually do that
Ice Stillers just scored three goals in 1:12.
That was peak checkdown
Let’s hear it for the loss of three checkdown throw.
Alex Smith just got the weirdest boner.
*short boner
FLAG FOR THE FLAG GODS
“You wanna see offsides? I’ll show you offsides.”
YEEHAWWWWW!!!!!!
forget about that there technical soundness
I went out for a cig and someone actually bothered to score a TD. I thought both teams were on board with not trying at all and ending at 3-0
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Bystander: Santa? What are you doing in the vikings pro shop?
Santa: All of these fucking kids asking for brady jerseys despite living in north carolina. Gotta bring down their expectations.
Illegal hands negating a pick? HAIL BLEERGH!
THIS VIKINGS CROWD, I CALL IT A BUNCH OF TYPING MISTAKES, BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF WHITE OUT!
Congratulations! Your application to the AARP has been accepted!
So I turned on Ice Giants-Ice Bills and Eichel scored twice. So I’m gonna stop that.
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More Viking cheekbones
http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/vikings-katheryn.jpg
HAI, aren’t you lookin’ Nordic tonight dearie
You stay the fuck away from my future stalking victim
Lemme know how that works out for you; she’s seriously into MMA and has several martial arts schools.
That’s not going to stop a (tranq) gun
WHY THE FUCK DID YOU TRIP! GODDAMNIT DEZ
yeah, felt your pain there
Damn how did Dez get so open?
Is that a catch!? Before I start cheering for that insanity I must know if that’s a catch! DON’T YOU BLUE BALL ME NFL; DON’T YOU BLUE BALL ME!!!!
“DON’T YOU BLUE BALL ME!!!!”
– Eli Manning, cowering during a game of dodgeball
How’s the game internet friends? Our renters just said they are moving out. Fuck. Need a strong drink.
they were also bridge/swinging partners??
Setback or GTFO.
Is that a Connecticut thing? I don’t remember encountering it anywhere else.
Sad to say I’ve never left CT but I know a lot of people who play it.
it was huge in college. I missed so many classes because of that fucking game.