Did I do the clickbait right? You’re here so I’m guessing the answer is yes. Good on ya, I knew I liked you.

By the time you see this, I will likely be somewhere in the process of digging out from a storm. About a foot, no biggie as long as it’s the light powdery stuff. Unless mercifully it just passes by causing our weatherpeople many deep-hued blueballs, which I’m all in favor of. However these days that’s rare as the stations round here spend more on weather prediction tech than many countries GDP’s. So bring it on. Not much I can do about the weather, it is winter. What I can control though is what I choose to eat to get me through.

Winter brings with it holidays. As I survey the gastronomical landscape of the season and the holiday gatherings we’re all likely to attend, I find it kinda bland or samey. Turkey, ham, roasts of meat and vegetables, potatoes of all sorts with gravies, creamy soups, and so on. Sure they’re comforting, satisfying, even triggering pleasant memories of times gone by. It sticks to your insides, makes you feel all cozy. Hell I’m getting drowsy just typing this and looking ahead. But do any of these things really have what you’d call strong or bold flavors? Eh…probably not so much. We need something…more. We need…

Yes! Zazz. Now I’m not here to toss card tables over and cause inter-familial bloodshed over main dishes or sides. You don’t need my help with that. What I can do is help add a little spice to the sweets, the last thing that will stick with you and yours. What’s a little potential passive-aggressive heartburn among friends, family, and co-workers? Today I’ve got 3 cookies all with their own individual zazz profile. Also rejoice chocoholics, I bring thee absolution to make your foodhole whole! I know for a fact we have more than a few worshipers of the spice and heat within our ranks, and it is for them that I submit these. And even if you’re not I say you give them a shot. Don’t let the season make everything go numb. Get some tingle in your dingles!

Sriracha Chocolate Chip

• 1/2 cup soft dark brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/2 cup veg/canola, not olive whatthehelliswrongwithyou, oil (see below though)
• sriracha
  • 3 tbsp → standard spiciness
  • 3.5 tbsp → a bit of a kick
  • 4 tbsp → quite spicy
• 1.1/3 cup plain white flour
• 1/3 cup cocoa powder
• 1 tbsp corn starch
• 1 tsp baking soda
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup dark chocolate chips
• 1 to 3 tbsp milk (might not need it)

• Oil: I have generally found 1/2 cup oil is too much in combination with the oil in sriracha (especially if you use 4 tbsp instead of 3). Instead, I recommend using:
  • 1/4 cup oil and 1/4 cup applesauce  OR
  • 1/4 cup oil and 1/4 cup yogurt (plain or vanilla I suppose)

These are both pretty standard fat-reducing substitutions, so you can also apply this tip to other recipes.

Preheat oven to 350°F and line cookie sheet with parchment paper.

Combine the sugars. Add in your desired amount of sriracha, and any oil substitutions. Add in oil slowly, creaming together with sugars while making sure there is not too much oil; you will probably not end up wanting the full 1/2 cup.

In a larger or equal-sized bowl, sift together flour, cocoa powder, salt, corn starch, and baking soda.

Stir the wet sugar mixture into the dry mixture, then fold in chocolate chips. YES ORDER MATTERS. If you like sanity anyway. If mixture is crumbly, add in milk 1 tbsp at a time. I have never needed it.

(optional/time permitting) Chill the dough. This will help with shaping it into nice spherical balls, and keep it from sticking to your hands too much.

Scoop balls of dough and flatten on sheet. The oilier the dough, the smaller and/or more spread out the cookies should be (and the flatter they will end up). Think walnut-sized.

Bake 10-12 minutes until the tops have started to crack. Transfer to wire rack to cool.

To candy ginger, go to the store and buy it. Oh sure you could diy. You could also individually pluck every hair from your groin. But it’s highly unlikely you want to do either. Just go buy some.

Heat the oven to 375 F.

Cream butter and sugars together.

Add egg, vanilla and mix.

Slowly mix in dry ingredients.

Fold in chocolate chunks and chopped candied ginger.

Scoop into rounded 1 tablespoon balls and place on cookie sheet. Bake for 9-11 minutes or until set in the middle – they should hardly be brown.

Leave on the tray for a few minutes and then transfer to a cooling rack.

Krampus Diablos

Heat the oven to 375 F.

Mix together flour, cocoa, baking soda, cinnamon, and pepper in a large bowl. Stir in chocolate chips.

In another bowl, whisk brown sugar, white sugar, canola oil, eggs, ginger and vanilla.

Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and stir.

On greased cookie sheet, press small (these guys WILL spread out, see below) handful sized cookie dough balls out and sprinkle with rock salt. Bake approximately 11 mins or until the cookie starts to crack.

What’s it all look like? Well…

Sriracha, Ginger, Krampus Diabolo

So there you go. Give them a shot, I know at least one of them will work for you. These will be waiting for me when I come back in from snow-clearing and they’ll be just the thing to defrost my head and melt the ice off my beard. Frost Jesus is not a good long-term look. Ask Jasper. The best to you and yours. Stay alive, I prefer you that way.