How’s THAT for a freaking title? Short….sort of. To the point….mostly. I was pretty impressed.
Apparently I was the only one. OK.
How’d I end up here tonight, typey typey-ing? Waxing neither syphilitic…..errrrrr philosophic, nor poetic…bcuz I iz stupid n junk….but like seriously, how’d I end up here?
SCOTCHNAUT!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup….you already knew the answer. Fucking Canadia, man. Dude wanted to start drinking early, and he decided to trick me into taking his post. But the joke’s on him….
I’ve been drinking all day already anyway.
As I’m typing this, my Ravens hold a 20-14 lead, but a rather shaky lead to be sure, in the 3rd qtr. So yes, it follows I’ve been drinking all day.
I’m also trying to keep up with the NC State/Fairfield Roundball game. So far, nothing there to piss me off….yet.
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There’s also some Hockey tonight.
And some NBA.
And some College Basketball.
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That banner image up there….? That’s Dak. Dak ain’t no blue star. Dak is a bulldog. Dak is pissed off. And also possibly concussed.
Tonight could be fun.
OK….FOOTBALLING ON A SUNDAY NIGHT!!!!!!!
TB @ DAL
I find it somewhat amusing that folks are singling out Dak in a negative way before this game. We really are a collection of horrible people. Dak will be fine. I expect he’ll show that tonight, but I make no guarantees. But even if not tonight, Dak will be fine.
Tampa Bay is on a 5 game win streak, and has positioned themselves alongside Atlanta for the NFC South title. A win tonight would bolster a Wild Card shot as well.
Dallas is the -6.5 home favorite.
Dak will make you believe. Fuck Famous Jameis….right in the pussy.
Cowboys 30, Bucs 17….is my prognostication AND NO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HOW BIG MY NOSE IS!!!!!
(sorry, old joke….older nose)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4ibKrj1h8s
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Enjoy your Late night Sunday, folks.
And also…..bet Cowboys to cover.
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27-17, Ratbirds hanging on so far. Still plenty of time to blow it, but I’m starting to see the odds slide up rapidly.
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Goddamn, I so love good defense. Nice Red Zone stand holds Philly to three. 27-20, coming down the home stretch.
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Remember what I just said about good defense? Yeah, fuck that. Ravens find a way to almost blow it at home to Philly. Big time props to Philly for going for the 2pt conversion. Go big or go home…..serious respect. But Ravens dodge the bullet, 27-26 at home.
Goddammit Cincinnati….you had one job.
I suppose that NC State Basketball 99, Fairfield 78, has to be good enough for a dreary Sunday.
I shall now zone out and watch late-ish games and then the LATE game. Who is that again? Oh yeah, ‘Boys hosting Bucs.
Dak Dak Dak.
I ‘member now.
Fuck you, Ted.
And yes….still funny…
(Sorry Dok….but it is)
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1st and 20, what she would do?
Fuck it, have Dez run 18 yards down the field and throw it at him.
“Bleu de Chanel; smell like Eurotrash without leaving the States”
Fun fact: bourbon and homemade chili makes a delicious dinner.
Sunday Night Football has been one of NBC’s most lucrative projects since acquiring it in 2006.
One of their least lucrative? Sunday Night Prison Rape Re-enactments.
The factor they have in common?
Jameis Winston.
Hey, that’s Buddy’s line!
Sorry, sorry, I thought he was setting it up for one of us.
I’m trying to delete….
That was only because they put it up against Oz and HBO could show more nudity
“Oz” did that already smh
Philly Cheese Fuckers better win on Thursday…….cock suckers
Winston would be a Schiano man
A carrier of MRSA?
Well a Schaino man doesn’t seem likely to take ‘no’ for an answer so, yeah, probably.
I am hoping rapey commits another stupid personal foul and gets ejected. If I have to watch this game I want schadenfreude
Maybe he’ll hit a ref!
Is it bad that I thought “But the Steelers aren’t playing”?
Fuck it, I like a QB who fucking gets riled up. Fuck the Cowboys, they can eat a toxic waste sandwich.
I think we all know Winston can’t “control his passion”
Men! OH, MEN! I have successfully traversed I-95 and am safely ensconced at Fort LemonJello – I have no food, but I do have bourbon.
That’s kinda like food, but better!
Sounds like you have everything you need
If you freeze the bourbon, put a stick in it, and then eat it, you have food.
Genius! But I don’t want to wait, so I’ll just drink my dinner.
Second and goal from the 23? NFL BLITZ!
Wait, did Jameis Winston just got penalized for unwanted physical contact?
What strange universe is this?
Mike Evans is the reason Manzril is a millionaire and Lane Kriffen was the Alabama OC.
When asked about Jason Garrett, an anonymous Cowboy said “I really used to think book’ learnin’ was for fags, but now I realize it is just for complete dullards.”
This is a good comment but is kept from greatness in that there are no Cowboys who could correctly use ‘dullard’ in a sentence.
I am reminded how happy I am that we allow Texas to create the standards for public education around the country
*Pey-ton keeps Lao-tian boy slaves*
If you are on a game show, and you lose, and you are crying, then maybe you should spend more fucking time working than being on a game show.
Because you deserve a bleach enema.
At the risk of jinxing things I suspect this, Gerald McCoy, is why people are talking about Dallas and not Tampa Bay.
Dak for your ass
http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2013/11/CM11-DAK-GIF1.gif
If you think I’m going to survive the post season with these fuck ass commentator fellating the fucking patriots, cowboys, and steelers, then you don’t know me. Because I’m buying a fucking AK-47 and loading up on ammo, wild turkey, and meth.
In Baltimore, isn’t that just a trip to the local 7-11?
An AK & ammo, bourbon and meth – also known as a Baltimore Care Package.
Witten is the man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GAN_O9xRkf4
Now that a lot of the Salvation Army men’s residences have closed, what is the primary market for buttermilk?
Hardees?
If the Jews control the media, then they must really hate Al Michaels.
Stripper name: Cinnamon Jones
I was happy. Was. Until this game reminded me Miko Grimes exists.
Just remember Brent Grimes has to live with that crazy every day and laugh at him. It will make you feel better.
I wish more for Kellen Moore
Salvation Army kettles, attacking linemen, assault charges… this guy can jump out of everything!
THE LAST TIME I SAW A BLACK GUY JUMP INTO A GIANT KETTLE, I WAS READING A PAMPHLET PUBLISHED BY THE KKK
That came out totally wrong.
Did it?
Wasn’t it one of those banned Warner cartoons?
“Kurt Talks About Evil Gay Sex to Kids”
That’s more brenda’s crusade.
Jameis Winston sure is hard to nail down.
Just ask the State’s Attorney in Tallahassee!!
Jameis has been making escapes from all sorts of problems for a long time, Al.
Spurs won…GO TIMMY!
That’s a fucking penalty.
We can’t figure out what a fucking catch is…but thank fucking god we aren’t having players using props because something something….I’m too drunk to finish this thought…
http://i.imgur.com/g3dM941.gif
Dak Prescott’s given name is Rayne Dakota, and Jerry Jones said when they drafted him, “Is this our quarterback or the stripper name of the girl who blows me on my bus each Sunday?”
That seems to be completely broken. This one in imgur so no embed but it should work
http://i.imgur.com/pfKpivi.gif
Jesus Christ, how much did the Salvation Army pay for this?
They said no props, no pots. Fuck you Zebras, Aaron Rodgers can jerk a receiver off on the sidelines but Zeke can’t give a ball to the kids? Racist.
Rodgers has his own special dark room for that.
This GE commercial with the puppet thing is scarier than Andy Reid naked at an all you can eat BBQ buffet
I think I’m supposed to hate Zeke, but I loved the fact he jumped into that giant kettle.
The NFL is now going to fine Elliot $5,000 for jumping into the Salvation Army kettle.
They will then give the money to an entirely unrelated charity. Because they’re dicks you see.
They could give it to the Salvation Army, they’re dicks too from what I’ve read on their platforms.
THIS ALEXA ON AMAZON ECHO, I CALL IT A DREAM COME TRUE, BECAUSE IT’S THE FIRST WOMAN TO DO WHAT I ASK THE FIRST FUCKING TIME.
Yay I think? Ugh, no, I can’t do it.
Fuck your rapist – Zeke
Darren McFadden charges into the pile and the sound of shattering glass is heard throughout AT&T Megalopolis.
Run, DMC!
NAMESAKE MENTIONED, MUST DRINK.
Also, I hope Jameis continues to develop creative new ways to fumble. Someone must carry Sanchez’s torch.
I will play this game
Zeke may be a Jedi.
Chantix – You think you have horrible nightmares now? Add a hallucinogen that causes terrible nightmares
I think we’ve seen Rapey Winston fumble like that before!
This investigation as to whether or not Winston’s arm was moving forward is already more intensive than the Tallahassee PD’s investigation as to whether or not he raped a woman.
It’s not as fun when it’s someone else putting balls where they aren’t wanted
Oddly unsettling, while also morally correct.
Kudos.
I don’t listen to enough old Aerosmith. I like them. Although they’re probably Sawx and Shitriots fans.
Christ just turn on a car radio up here in the northeast. Find a classic rock station and count to 10. if you haven’t heard Aerosmith by then your radio’s broken.