Yep, I’m very non-religious….but I love Christmas.
How do I rationalize this disconnect? Usually, I don’t. But when I have to, it’s not difficult really.
Was Jesus a deity? Or was he born of godly origins? My opinion is….no. Your opinion may differ, I respect that.
But that’s not the point.
Jesus, even if not a deity, was a pretty fucking awesome dude. I have no problems at all rationalizing the celebration of this man’s life.
I grew up in a Christian family. I was raised Methodist. Not over the top Southern Baptist crazy mind you, but not without some rather fervent believers….some of whom were/are in my extended family even still.
And while the religion aspect was always there at Christmas time in our family, it was less about that than it was about family and being near the ones whom you love, and who love you back.
That’s why I love Christmas. Whether the originating emotion is religious or not, the end result is that folks are kinder to one another; folks have a little more faith in their fellow man; folks are just plain nicer around the Holidays. And being close to those we love while feeling particularly kind and dare I say….happy? It makes for good bonding. Good memories.
I have a lot of fond memories of those I’ve loved throughout my life. Many center around Christmas time. Some of the strongest, actually. And yes, also some bad memories.
But sometimes you’ve gotta have the bad to be able to recognize the good when/if you’re fortunate enough to have it again, even if so briefly that you don’t fully realize until it’s too late.
That’s what makes us who we are.
Yes, I’m an agnostic bordering on atheist, and yet I love Christmas.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t still find this funny….
Or This….
And yes, this too…..
Or even this….
(Yeah Ralphie, kick some Scott Farkus ass…FUCKER HAS YELLOW EYES!!!!!!)
I included this youtube link for Goo Goo Dolls’ “Better Days” in a previous post some weeks back. I don’t even remember why now, but it must have felt important at the time. But I bring it up NOW only because I told you fine folks at the time that it fit whatever fucked up mood I was in at the time….in spite of being a Christmas song first and foremost. And as Christmas Songs go, it’s a pretty good one.
Seriously….give it a listen. Go ahead, don’t be shy. No one’s gonna judge you…..
(sincerely…..good Christmas song)
Yeah, I’m rambling. So what?
But yes, let’s move the festivities along, shall we????
–
Airing of Grievances
Football is more fucked up than usual, this week, just so ya know. Christmas does tend to screw up sports schedules. This week, most games are Saturday. There are two on Sunday tho….Ravens/Steelers in the afternoon (4:30p EST), then Donks/Chefs late (8:30p EST). But yeah, mostly Saturday this week. Fuck you, Christmas.
The Giants and Iggles did their best last night to not further the myth that all TNF games suck. They failed. Now I am no Giants’ fan, but reading things like this makes my head hurt. And now I am forced to hope that all those things happen just so I can be nourished by Eli’s tears.
While also hoping that the Eagles manage to lose out.
Meh…..fuck football.
Hockey is about the same as it has been…pain in my ass…though lookit Columbus all of a sudden. Friday games.
Meh…..fuck Hockey.
NBA still sucks, but wow did I kill Atlanta or what? Remember a few weeks ago when I was singing their praises? No, probably not. But I did, honest. And then they went all Atlanta…..LMFAO.
Peace up, A-town down? PEACE UP A-TOWN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(yes, I can rap this by heart….no shit, ask entropy…..or ask….ooooops, never mind)
(but what i don’t know if i take that chance, just where is it gonna lead, but what I do KNOW…..)
Ahem….sorry.
Meh….Fuck the NBA.
Meh…..
/passes out in own filth
–
Feats of Strength
This was supposed to be the part where King Hippo and Meself Jello wrestled in our underpants on live feed, to see who gets the last turkey leg. But I couldn’t convince him to do it (on camera…wink wink).
So instead, I’m in the mood for a few good FAIL gifs….
–
Our Festivus Miracles
There’s really no right or wrong answer when it comes to Christmas Sexy. Everybody is a little tipsy, everybody is looking to score.
I intentionally broke my “Boots” streak last week (fuck you Cal Ripken Jr.), but this week it’s back.
There is also some weirdness going on at Christmas…but really that’s true anytime…
Of course you realize that if you’re dressed like a candy cane……
Elves? ELVES!!!!!!!!
More Elf? Meh, sorta maybe….
It’s got a bow on it….
Best. Snowman. Ever.
2nd best snowman ever??? 2ND BEST SNOWMAN EVER!!!!!!!
Have you been naughty? Or nice?
So THAT’S what happened to my beard…
A gift, pour moi?
Santa might be a little late this year…
Next….this a VERY nicely executed photo….seriously….pay attention, dammit…..
The stark beauty of the face/eyes, the hard lines around the face…..then with the softening of features as the photo fades into its back drop. This is a masterpiece, I shit you not.
This has top shelf selfie written all over it, but still not a terrible effort…..
More boots?
Hey guys, stop the car….that girl just smiled at me.
Fake Tree….Fake Fire.
Another Elf?
She seems cozy….
I don’t know exactly where to put this, but I find it funny as shit (yes, I’m dark). So for now, I’m gonna leave it here between our feature, and our equal time for the ladies…..
–
Equal Christmas Sexy Fo’ da Ladies
I dunno why I keep putting stuff up (giggity) for you ladies…..but here anyway…..
Yup….still funny……
–
This week’s original snapshots? Duh…..
This year’s Christmas tree, dumbasses…..
And also last year’s, with extra kitty (don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy)….
OK then….Merry Freaking Christmas….I guess.
–
Ahhhhh…..Bad lighting on the porch…..
Where’s the Tylenol?
Sons of bitches!!!! Bumpuses!!!!!!
Yeah, gotta…….
Have a good Christmas, folks.
–
Judy Brown & Roberta Collins in Women in Cages.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/24a6422254cfe7c970afe8c1d8ab4d9d/tumblr_oifujwaYjQ1s0wwqso1_500.gif
Exploitation movies….. mmmmmmm fetish.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/32c25fa2047de5788d7c51ecc787717d/tumblr_oikzypaAhi1s0wwqso1_1280.jpg
I thought she was gonna become a bigger actress than she ended up becoming when I saw her in Chronicles of Riddick
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPGoNwRacLA
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m96mqzJjoW1qh502no1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/01364491bf28718d3e97103b5d208b63/tumblr_oiea9jSgxD1s638qao1_1280.jpg
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http://68.media.tumblr.com/a2606a9d46683302d071f323f5b40460/tumblr_nreg0am6r91trim6yo1_500.gif
The Ice Cowboys are finally playing the furious, chaotic style of hockey that was so entertaining thirteen months ago! But it’s tied at two in the third … womp wopm …
You an Ice Cowboys fam? We treading water here so I’m in the in the camp of let’s do it again next year…
WOOOO!!!!!1!! Ice Cowboys in in three-on-three overtime!
http://img.pandawhale.com/92503-katy-perry-cupcake-gif-hot-boo-HIhN.gif
Cupcakes!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e8a5898d6bba573c134fa044ce2067ca/tumblr_inline_o2x09fF86t1ttc8k7_500.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EqFnDWdUBi8
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e6ca7172e3d69dbd78c017c81222e95e/tumblr_inline_o2x0aknbhz1ttc8k7_500.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-_vhRIxvf0
http://68.media.tumblr.com/15e641591fbd85f4c776592b812b2a78/tumblr_oig1wvxXQ31r9qk1io1_1280.png
EEEEYYYYY, THISA PARTY LASANAGA, I CALLA IT JOEY A BOSA, BECAUSE IT TOOK A WHILE BUT WAS WORTH WAITING FOR, AND TOMORROW WILL TELL DEAN SPANOS EXACTLY WHAT IT THOUGHT OF HIS ORIGINAL CONTRACT OFFER.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/cdfc6a79d8846de6fd462e1f5c51430e/tumblr_ohzt5fDCJx1vvcjhuo3_250.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cPhIaS2Ixr0
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1bbfc08077881dc73682cd569fc24228/tumblr_inline_o2x08vNcdv1ttc8k7_250.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2082789b738205efa53d186a7d3b1551/tumblr_my4897EIJB1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Damn
http://68.media.tumblr.com/354fc08dc6ae18c8ac16d5193cd072a5/tumblr_inline_o2x096JlmZ1ttc8k7_500.jpg
RELEVANT:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t039p6xqutU
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5ea02c335136bfc5cf015c102226bc49/tumblr_mge5jfIGpr1qhncn1o4_r1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a7bb83f08fddeaebc73c6d1af4d3191c/tumblr_nnhhfbB8aH1tb7uwxo1_500.gif
Owl halftime show?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5c48b84222aa7b4dcf62d2876a197298/tumblr_nzf28dcDPd1ric2iqo3_1280.jpg
Ain’t seen a sneetch like that…
http://nancyebailey.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/03/sneetch-400×200.jpg
I was rebuilding my parents’ very small deck on their row home. The people in the neighborhood are primarily folks like my parents (too poor or too set in their ways to move) and asshole absentee landlords that rent out to shitheads and don’t maintain their properties.
Recently its nothing but white kids gentrifying the neighborhood, pushing out the working class.
So I am working on the deck, the yard is completely empty besides an old car. Two girls are smoking next door and one of them yells to me…
“They dead?”
“You mean my parents?” (I was trying to you know…give the kids a way out and not piss me the fuck off further).
“Yeah the old people that lived there..they dead?”
“No”
“They moved though right…you put them in a home?”
Now I realize I am sounding like an asshole here because you are picturing like a block of lovely row homes except for my parents place filled with shit. Except, my parents place, while worse then the neighbors…was not that much worse. For example, these kids have been chucking their shit off their decks for years. They don’t have trashcans. Imagine an illegal frat house in a row home. Basically the only reason no one fucks with me was because the only people on the block that aren’t shithead college students are old people terrified of the cops…
I walk over to the fence.
“My parents still live here. Leave them alone. The shit is cleaned up and gone. I highly recommend you never interact with me again or bother my parents in any way as I will call code enforcement on your shit seeing as now, you folks have the worst place on the block now”.
I’m not kidding…the only difference between my parents yard and theirs was about 6 inches of shit.
On a HUGE positive…my parents had people over (besides my sister and I). As a kid, no one ever came over. Again, the only outside person I can recall ever seeing the place was Pork Chop. My parents had over two couples they used to live near but they moved up to the county. It was nice.
So, those girls… they dead?
I always try to put myself in other people’s shoes to try and you know…not get pissed off, not lash out…kind of just calm myself.
For the life of me, I cannot figure out what they expected my response would be.
Not until JSD has an airtight alibi in another country. 😀
Oh, I know exactly the kind of fuckheads you’re talking about because, again, our parents’ houses seem to be identical, right down to the shithead, frat-boy neighbors who move in and semi-squat in a nice house that they quickly managed to wreck. You are a much bigger man than I am because you confronted them. I never even had the balls to do it or even leave a mean note on my way out of town.
FUCK THAT
On account of your parents having people over and do performing feats of awesomeness that I cannot even begin to do, you deserve a motherfucking parade. At the very least.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/52a8bd14ae47e6653b0c0cb345a2957a/tumblr_nzoj6elsKN1uv5dupo1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/c043e248ebc06099e1626dec3818a77a/tumblr_oh71fw2o211s0wwqso1_1280.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3aff51805bd4f94ccb00bc16d94af006/tumblr_nzf98g7ayK1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Sorry kids.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/22c42fc376af9bfd28e3f6d847e19423/tumblr_oifz7zIZ2v1r4w8k5o1_1280.jpg
http://alfa.gifs-planet.com/new3/265.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=px5njG8ikvo
http://68.media.tumblr.com/eefb0def7fbb01f3f159ddbf0ec78e28/tumblr_mge5jfIGpr1qhncn1o7_r1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpe5pvGs591qesepao1_1280.png
“Yeup! Still there. Just checking.”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/413bcd36e62bcf6ec3df502ba385d33b/tumblr_oib4vvSWN91rlb6iho1_1280.jpg
playboy rabbit shadow with her cooch? I see ya!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XkS-ySqJx7g
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d3e835d1f483cea65b9c61c8690f589e/tumblr_mge5jfIGpr1qhncn1o6_r1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/33e125a989f579f9608e03a4031a0a34/tumblr_oikzzr6ajJ1s0wwqso1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1869dfb0bf972c3c91eba83aaf29540f/tumblr_oink9wrDfq1s0wwqso1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6323df8af366c183834aee91d220117b/tumblr_oinkauoFsI1s0wwqso1_1280.jpg
Kathleen Robertson had some great nudity and sex scenes in Boss.
She also had a bomb ass sexy dance in leather pants in Scary Movie 2.
I’m obviously a fan.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/eda5db09ea568748c41f58a4a317858f/tumblr_ngrhbfwGdA1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/09ab71c8ba82d65c6861ddb57591023c/tumblr_oi4omhQmrF1vr7pixo1_1280.jpg
Excelente!
Awesome job!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/59f7b3584ec664878139293cdf3dc99e/tumblr_ohwnq4qkeQ1rhvnljo1_1280.png
If she’s Asian, RTD is all over that.
God damn it; I should have looked at the schedule closer.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9cf4fd856eeaaa9c24b46e96a5b00126/tumblr_oinoa3PRVt1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Nope. Josephine Skriver
http://68.media.tumblr.com/19a4f1c2acd89d42f4e26f3aa9e783dc/tumblr_mxv269MCI81ric2iqo1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/50234b25c2b3cd24e7f3da3e4aa90d7f/tumblr_mxv269MCI81ric2iqo2_400.jpg
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http://68.media.tumblr.com/8402c1217b637a5780136b8a06870b27/tumblr_oif71f2m9W1s4p0huo1_1280.jpg
How sweet; even the wealthy are in the holiday spirit.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/12/23/nyregion/carl-paladino-trump-ally-wishes-obama-dead-and-aims-racial-insults-at-michelle-obama.html?_r=0
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1198b5b55a1b8409ed56e4b0fff01f88/tumblr_o9m33wM4AW1qzn0kbo1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/78fca3f85301f4bc085f3fec400d18b1/tumblr_my7u45ZPe41ry46hlo1_400.gif
Your cat. She’s cute.
“So THAT’S what happened to my beard…”
— A. Rogers, watching Office Christmas Party
Good morning from Taiwan where I have airport wifi and drank a beer from the 7-11 fittingly called The Beer. It’s Christmas Eve in the future!
If you could get arrested and have an international incident which will make the front pages of all of the major papers (as well as news blogs and the like) while wearing your HRTN shirt…well, that would be great. Thanks in advance.
Crazy enough that’s why I didn’t wear it on the flight!
Go to the upper food court, the dim sum and dumplings are fucking awesome!!!!
Which part of China is that?
Before the obligatory Fairytale…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-3CxYV3BqY
I’m about to go get it started yes. Received a bottle of Jim Beam double oak bourbon… Here’s how the review will work. If I remember to write one, it will be a failure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-GKDgojAxA
I’m home, shopping’s done. It’a getting dark and stormy out and I’ve got a full stash…
Of booze! Yeah.
Chance of getting extra shitty drunk tonight?
100%
On Dark and Stormies?
MMMM
A 10oz bottle of Angostura Bitters? In what magical universe was this picture taken?
/looks with new-found disappointment at 4oz bottle on shelf
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCC64Q07CQA
I see me and Litre are on slightly different wavelengths tonight!
Hahaha, was just thinking the same thing.
I just finished 39 out of 40 days of work. Maybe a little jaded? Its red wine then whisky time though!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrC_o3eXNt4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mqcn40JriVY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47vRaiiSu5k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovi1SKwfyxU
I like spelling Christmastime as one word. Like I’m a fancy Brit. Happy Christmas everyone! I’ve got presents for everyone in the boot of my lorry.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjq6TNSzFdE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGVNzgUxE-g
Hello friends. I posted the pic of where I put the Hard Ride to Nowhere on @litre_cola twitter account as I failed at trying to do it here. I have it nestled under the booze shelf next to the whisky shelf and wine fridges.
WELL DONE, FUCKER!!
I already ruined the quotables post wit the sexay.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpszjcYzDT1qjyvmu.gif