TGISF…aka “Merry Freaking Christmas” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Yep, I’m very non-religious….but I love Christmas.

How do I rationalize this disconnect?  Usually, I don’t.  But when I have to, it’s not difficult really.

Was Jesus a deity?  Or was he born of godly origins?  My opinion is….no.  Your opinion may differ, I respect that.

But that’s not the point.

Jesus, even if not a deity, was a pretty fucking awesome dude.  I have no problems at all rationalizing the celebration of this man’s life.

christ-middle-finger
Fuck you too, asshole….oh look over there, is that a cross????   TOO SOON?????

I grew up in a Christian family.  I was raised Methodist.  Not over the top Southern Baptist crazy mind you, but not without some rather fervent believers….some of whom were/are in my extended family even still.

And while the religion aspect was always there at Christmas time in our family, it was less about that than it was about family and being near the ones whom you love, and who love you back.

That’s why I love Christmas.  Whether the originating emotion is religious or not, the end result is that folks are kinder to one another;  folks have a little more faith in their fellow man;  folks are just plain nicer around the Holidays.  And being close to those we love while feeling particularly kind and dare I say….happy?  It makes for good bonding.  Good memories.

I have a lot of fond memories of those I’ve loved throughout my life.  Many center around Christmas time.  Some of the strongest, actually.  And yes, also some bad memories.

But sometimes you’ve gotta have the bad to be able to recognize the good when/if you’re fortunate enough to have it again, even if so briefly that you don’t fully realize until it’s too late.

That’s what makes us who we are.

Yes, I’m an agnostic bordering on atheist, and yet I love Christmas.

Otherwise, I wouldn’t still find this funny….

Or This….

shittersfullOr for that matter, this….

And yes, this too…..

Or even this….

(Yeah Ralphie, kick some Scott Farkus ass…FUCKER HAS YELLOW EYES!!!!!!)

I included this youtube link for Goo Goo Dolls’ “Better Days” in a previous post some weeks back.  I don’t even remember why now, but it must have felt important at the time.  But I bring it up NOW only because I told you fine folks at the time that it fit whatever fucked up mood I was in at the time….in spite of being a Christmas song first and foremost.  And as Christmas Songs go, it’s a pretty good one.

Seriously….give it a listen.  Go ahead, don’t be shy.  No one’s gonna judge you…..

(sincerely…..good Christmas song)

Yeah, I’m rambling.  So what?

But yes, let’s move the festivities along, shall we????

festivus1

alisonchristmasdance
Oh come, now…you all know me well enough to know I wasn’t doing an Xmas Sexy Friday without Alison’s Xmas dance represented.

Airing of Grievances

Football is more fucked up than usual, this week, just so ya know.  Christmas does tend to screw up sports schedules.  This week, most games are Saturday. There are two on Sunday tho….Ravens/Steelers in the afternoon (4:30p EST), then Donks/Chefs late (8:30p EST).  But yeah, mostly Saturday this week.  Fuck you, Christmas.

The Giants and Iggles did their best last night to not further the myth that all TNF games suck.  They failed.  Now I am no Giants’ fan, but reading things like this makes my head hurt.  And now I am forced to hope that all those things happen just so I can be nourished by Eli’s tears.

While also hoping that the Eagles manage to lose out.

hatethe-eagleslebowski

 

Meh…..fuck football.

Hockey is about the same as it has been…pain in my ass…though lookit Columbus all of a sudden.  Friday games.

Meh…..fuck Hockey.

NBA still sucks, but wow did I kill Atlanta or what?  Remember a few weeks ago when I was singing their praises?  No, probably not.  But I did, honest.  And then they went all Atlanta…..LMFAO.

Peace up, A-town down?  PEACE UP A-TOWN DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(yes, I can rap this by heart….no shit, ask entropy…..or ask….ooooops, never mind)

(but what i don’t know if i take that chance, just where is it gonna lead, but what I do KNOW…..)

Ahem….sorry.

NBA Friday sched.

Meh….Fuck the NBA.

College Roundball.

Meh…..

/passes out in own filth

Feats of Strength

This was supposed to be the part where King Hippo and Meself Jello wrestled in our underpants on live feed, to see who gets the last turkey leg.  But I couldn’t convince him to do it (on camera…wink wink).

So instead, I’m in the mood for a few good FAIL gifs….

xmas2
I’m certain the pediatrician won’t be suspicious about the facial lacerations/abrasions. You’re good.

 

xmas1
Ah yes, ’93. A year many of us would like to forget.

 

xmas3
Mighta been ’93 again…just saying.

 

xmas4
Is it a catch? I vote “yes”.

 

xmas5
Sheeesh kid, your little speech was so great that you even bored the tree into a coma. You got what you deserved you mouthy little shit.         (Alternate Caption….I need an adult, I need an adult!!!!!)

 

Our Festivus Miracles

There’s really no right or wrong answer when it comes to Christmas Sexy.  Everybody is a little tipsy, everybody is looking to score.

santashelper
But anything with laces earns bonus points.

 

I intentionally broke my “Boots” streak last week (fuck you Cal Ripken Jr.), but this week it’s back.

santagirlboots
Yes dear….most definitely leave THOSE boots on. Yes Indeedy….

 

There is also some weirdness going on at Christmas…but really that’s true anytime…

rudolphcostume
I’m not not saying I don’t don’t like it. Maybe if the glowing nose was a little lower?

 

candace
Candace has a nice bush…..errrrrrr, TREE.

 

Of course you realize that if you’re dressed like a candy cane……

evenmoreboots
You’re gonna get licked….right?  And also…..boots.

 

Elves?  ELVES!!!!!!!!

bestelfever2
I’m hiring for a new assistant…yes dear, you’re hired.

 

More Elf?  Meh, sorta maybe….

bestelfever
SHUT UP!!!! CLOSE ENOUGH!!!!!

 

It’s got a bow on it….

bowonit
You guys musta chipped in for ol’ tWBS’ Christmas Gift. You shouldn’t have. Oh…wait…yes you should have.

 

Best.  Snowman.  Ever.

snowman2
I repeat….Best. Snowman. Ever!!!!!!!!!!

 

2nd best snowman ever???  2ND BEST SNOWMAN EVER!!!!!!!

snowman
Yeah, we might need a recount.

 

Have you been naughty?  Or nice?

naughty
No, it doesn’t matter…..either way it’s gonna happen.

 

So THAT’S what happened to my beard…

interesting
I am not going to make the joke I was going to make. I’m already going to hell, why speed things up?

 

A gift, pour moi?

gifts
I may or may not personally know this girl to a degree. Be nice.

 

Santa might be a little late this year…

Motorcycle Details
Respect, Dude.  Priorities.

 

Next….this a VERY nicely executed photo….seriously….pay attention, dammit…..

The stark beauty of the face/eyes, the hard lines around the face…..then with the softening of features as the photo fades into its back drop.  This is a masterpiece, I shit you not.

santayoushouldnthave
Well done, Derrick.

 

This has top shelf selfie written all over it, but still not a terrible effort…..

sexy-christmas-costume
Even with shitty lighting and poorly thought out background contrast, you don’t look all that terrible.

 

sheerxmas
Oh, now you guys are just getting TOO generous. And also, the rest of my beard….

 

More boots?

moreboots
MOAR BOOTS!!!!!!!

 

Hey guys, stop the car….that girl just smiled at me.

eva-habermann-christmas
She seems nice.  Nice shoulders too, eh Hippo?

 

Fake Tree….Fake Fire.

fakefirefaketree
OK, I’m not saying I’m leaving or anything….but the false advertising better end here. Just saying.

 

Another Elf?

santagirl
Meh….screw it at this point.  CLOSE ENOUGH!!!!!!

 

She seems cozy….

cozy
Pssssst….see the boots? I’m not gonna say it….but you see ’em, right????

 

I don’t know exactly where to put this, but I find it funny as shit (yes, I’m dark).  So for now, I’m gonna leave it here between our feature, and our equal time for the ladies…..

reindeer

Equal Christmas Sexy Fo’ da Ladies

I dunno why I keep putting stuff up (giggity) for you ladies…..but here anyway…..

sexyxmasdude1
So ummmm…..festive……?

 

sexyxmasdude2
I’ve literally NEVER been at more of a loss for words.

 

sexyxmasdude3
Nope….I was wrong.
sexyxmasdude4
Seems energetic and committed….and he brought TWO gifts.
sexyxmasdude5
Thank You Santa!!!!! It’s about damned time.

Yup….still funny……

reindeer

This week’s original snapshots?  Duh…..

This year’s Christmas tree, dumbasses…..

christmastree16
Inorite?

And also last year’s, with extra kitty (don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy, don’t say pussy)….

go_away_human_by_wufpacker-d9iu72b
Yes, this is my real life puddy tat, after having claimed last yr’s Xmas tree as legal napping ground.  It’s entitled -Go Away Human-

 

OK then….Merry Freaking Christmas….I guess.

Ahhhhh…..Bad lighting on the porch…..

 

Where’s the Tylenol?

 

Sons of bitches!!!!  Bumpuses!!!!!!

Yeah, gotta…….

Have a good Christmas, folks.

cheryl

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Exploitation movies….. mmmmmmm fetish.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I thought she was gonna become a bigger actress than she ended up becoming when I saw her in Chronicles of Riddick

ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

The Ice Cowboys are finally playing the furious, chaotic style of hockey that was so entertaining thirteen months ago! But it’s tied at two in the third … womp wopm …
comment image

ALXMAC

You an Ice Cowboys fam? We treading water here so I’m in the in the camp of let’s do it again next year…

Spanky Datass

WOOOO!!!!!1!! Ice Cowboys in in three-on-three overtime!
http://img.pandawhale.com/92503-katy-perry-cupcake-gif-hot-boo-HIhN.gif
Cupcakes!

ALXMAC
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

EEEEYYYYY, THISA PARTY LASANAGA, I CALLA IT JOEY A BOSA, BECAUSE IT TOOK A WHILE BUT WAS WORTH WAITING FOR, AND TOMORROW WILL TELL DEAN SPANOS EXACTLY WHAT IT THOUGHT OF HIS ORIGINAL CONTRACT OFFER.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Shogun Marcus
JustStopDude

I was rebuilding my parents’ very small deck on their row home. The people in the neighborhood are primarily folks like my parents (too poor or too set in their ways to move) and asshole absentee landlords that rent out to shitheads and don’t maintain their properties.

Recently its nothing but white kids gentrifying the neighborhood, pushing out the working class.

So I am working on the deck, the yard is completely empty besides an old car. Two girls are smoking next door and one of them yells to me…

“They dead?”

“You mean my parents?” (I was trying to you know…give the kids a way out and not piss me the fuck off further).

“Yeah the old people that lived there..they dead?”

“No”

“They moved though right…you put them in a home?”

Now I realize I am sounding like an asshole here because you are picturing like a block of lovely row homes except for my parents place filled with shit. Except, my parents place, while worse then the neighbors…was not that much worse. For example, these kids have been chucking their shit off their decks for years. They don’t have trashcans. Imagine an illegal frat house in a row home. Basically the only reason no one fucks with me was because the only people on the block that aren’t shithead college students are old people terrified of the cops…

I walk over to the fence.

“My parents still live here. Leave them alone. The shit is cleaned up and gone. I highly recommend you never interact with me again or bother my parents in any way as I will call code enforcement on your shit seeing as now, you folks have the worst place on the block now”.

I’m not kidding…the only difference between my parents yard and theirs was about 6 inches of shit.

On a HUGE positive…my parents had people over (besides my sister and I). As a kid, no one ever came over. Again, the only outside person I can recall ever seeing the place was Pork Chop. My parents had over two couples they used to live near but they moved up to the county. It was nice.

Senor Weaselo

So, those girls… they dead?

JustStopDude

I always try to put myself in other people’s shoes to try and you know…not get pissed off, not lash out…kind of just calm myself.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out what they expected my response would be.

Unsurprised

Not until JSD has an airtight alibi in another country. 😀

Unsurprised

Oh, I know exactly the kind of fuckheads you’re talking about because, again, our parents’ houses seem to be identical, right down to the shithead, frat-boy neighbors who move in and semi-squat in a nice house that they quickly managed to wreck. You are a much bigger man than I am because you confronted them. I never even had the balls to do it or even leave a mean note on my way out of town.

FUCK THAT

On account of your parents having people over and do performing feats of awesomeness that I cannot even begin to do, you deserve a motherfucking parade. At the very least.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC
ALXMAC
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ALXMAC

playboy rabbit shadow with her cooch? I see ya!!

ALXMAC
Unsurprised

Kathleen Robertson had some great nudity and sex scenes in Boss.

She also had a bomb ass sexy dance in leather pants in Scary Movie 2.

I’m obviously a fan.

ballsofsteelandfury

Excelente!

Awesome job!

ballsofsteelandfury

If she’s Asian, RTD is all over that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Nope. Josephine Skriver

Unsurprised

Your cat. She’s cute.

comment image

Unsurprised

“So THAT’S what happened to my beard…”
— A. Rogers, watching Office Christmas Party

Senor Weaselo

Good morning from Taiwan where I have airport wifi and drank a beer from the 7-11 fittingly called The Beer. It’s Christmas Eve in the future!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

If you could get arrested and have an international incident which will make the front pages of all of the major papers (as well as news blogs and the like) while wearing your HRTN shirt…well, that would be great. Thanks in advance.

Senor Weaselo

Crazy enough that’s why I didn’t wear it on the flight!

litre_cola

Go to the upper food court, the dim sum and dumplings are fucking awesome!!!!

herodotus450

Which part of China is that?

Bloody Lethal

Before the obligatory Fairytale…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-3CxYV3BqY

Bloody Lethal

I’m about to go get it started yes. Received a bottle of Jim Beam double oak bourbon… Here’s how the review will work. If I remember to write one, it will be a failure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V-GKDgojAxA

laserguru

I’m home, shopping’s done. It’a getting dark and stormy out and I’ve got a full stash…
Of booze! Yeah.

Chance of getting extra shitty drunk tonight?

100%

Bloody Lethal

On Dark and Stormies?

MMMM

comment image

Spanky Datass

A 10oz bottle of Angostura Bitters? In what magical universe was this picture taken?
/looks with new-found disappointment at 4oz bottle on shelf

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

I see me and Litre are on slightly different wavelengths tonight!

litre_cola

Hahaha, was just thinking the same thing.

litre_cola

I just finished 39 out of 40 days of work. Maybe a little jaded? Its red wine then whisky time though!

litre_cola
Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal
litre_cola
Kungjitsu

I like spelling Christmastime as one word. Like I’m a fancy Brit. Happy Christmas everyone! I’ve got presents for everyone in the boot of my lorry.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cjq6TNSzFdE

Bloody Lethal
litre_cola

Hello friends. I posted the pic of where I put the Hard Ride to Nowhere on twitter account as I failed at trying to do it here. I have it nestled under the booze shelf next to the whisky shelf and wine fridges.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WELL DONE, FUCKER!!

I already ruined the quotables post wit the sexay.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpszjcYzDT1qjyvmu.gif

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