Lesser Footy – A Raging Semi FOAR NYE!!

There are a smattering of Premiership games this morning, with Manure hosting 15th position Middlesbrough (10:00, NBCSN) getting feature treatment. Leicester/West Ham and Chelsea/Stoke are probably better options in the morning window, though. Consult your Extra Time listings.

But the big action (Euro-speaking) today is at Anfield, where the 2nd place Shite host 3rd position (and 1 point behind) Man City (12:30, NBC). Of course, my NBC affiliate is pre-empting the match for…sigh…syndicated ACC hoops. The South ,, amirite?? Anyway, I shall send good vibes to the Manc blues for this one, naturally. This “Klopp title challenge” talk needs strangling in the crib.

EPL fun boomerangs right back around Monday/Tuesday, so I will preview that during or right after Hippo Thoughts.

Citrus Bowl – LSU vs. Louisville (11:00, ABC)

Both of these teams pretty much fell slam-ass apart down the stretch, so I have no clue what to expect. 2017’s most overrated fantasy prospect (yeah, I said it, wanna fight about it??) Leonard Fournette isn’t playing, so it won’t be as easy to compare and contrast how his backup does exactly the same thing.

Gator Bowl – Georgia Tech vs. Kentucky (11:00, ESPN)

This used to be a pretty proud, high-value destination bowl. Now look at it. Stripped of its name, hosting these two bleeding sacks of shit. Of course, now that I’ve said this…game of the day, for certain.

National Semifinal #1 – Alabama vs. Washington (3:00, ESPN)

Definitely the fixture of the day, so of course NC State’s basketball opener happens right in the middle of it. Lots of chuckles about Nick Saban and “coachspeak” regarding his statements re the Huskies being the best side his team have faced, and a stern/unique test…but I think it’s true. UW is very, very fast, and can hit you in many different ways. They won’t let Roll Damn Tide dictate the terms of play, and that’s 90% of the battle. I am interested.

But FUCK YOU, I will not list your meaningless bowl title. National. Semifinal.

National Semifinal #2 – Clemson vs. Ohio State (7:00, ESPN)

Just thunder fuck both of these asshole programs/coaches right in the ass, please. I know I will be cheering for whoever wins match #1 to win it all, that’s for sure. Maybe it will be a good, entertaining game, or barring that, at least over in plenty of time for me to defiantly crash out before midnight. I will not give 2016 the satisfaction of a goodbye, even with a middle finger.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

“Yoga! Yoga! Yoga!”

-John Belushi, from National Lampoon’s “Animal Pose”.

Spur

Will Saban ever retire. Or will he die on the sideline arguing a holding call?

...

I think that’s a big part of the reason I dislike Saban and Belichick. Winning is never fun or enjoyable for guys like them. I can’t feel happy for their success because I don’t think they feel happy for it.

Horatio Cornblower

A million times this.

scotchnaut

“Boise To Men”

/I’ll take, “What is Chris Peterson’s fave cover band/career path for $600, Alex.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

WALL-O-MULTI-COLORED-GOOD-HUSTLE!

...

This is probably the best visual reply Moose has ever made.

Spanky Datass

Agreed. Top five easy.

herodotus450

Just once I’d like to hear some announcer say how this game confirms that west coast teams just arent as good. Or is that something that that Skip guy would say? Am I agreeing with him? shit.

...

It’s not that West Coast teams aren’t as good, it’s just that Alabama is better than everyone else.

...

Fuck. That’s game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

Scarborough is a suburb of Toronto-ppl don’t know that.

Redshirt

By the scoreboard graphic, I see someone at ESPN got that Italics upgrade they wanted for Christmas!

Spur

One hell of a punt

scotchnaut

Love me some sly Coach Peterson.

Redshirt

From what I can tell in this 2nd half, neither Washington or ‘Bama want to win this game.

scotchnaut

If Wash has a speedster they need to send him long a few times.

Spanky Datass

Who has latrine duty in the DFO clubhouse this week because … um … the light is burned out.
/panics
//sprints wildly out of clubhouse

ballsofsteelandfury

SPAAAAAAANKYYYY!!!!

Redshirt

Latrine? What are we? A bunch of pansies? Find the nearest 2nd tree like a man!

Spanky Datass
Bloody Lethal

I’m a Rangers fan, but as a kid it was hard not to front run and there was no easier team for me to root for than the Red Wings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IV6DdAXeh1M

herodotus450

Not sure if it’s a product of the defenses, but those goalies look bad. Even Roy looks bad. Like, backup AHL bad if he were playing like that today.

Bloody Lethal

Their pads are like 1/3 the size.

Spur

“They look like an SEC front 7”. – Fuck you ESPN

Redshirt

“You know, this year has been so bad, I’m going to watch Deadpool so I can end the year happy.”

SPOILERS

“That was a good movie. I’m kind of happy now.”

(Deadpool turns on “Careless Whisper” by Wham! at end of movie)

(crying) “Damn you, Deadpool!”

ballsofsteelandfury

I would love to have immediate penetration…

Redshirt

I’m kind of tired. Can we just cuddle?

scotchnaut

Wash, if you could not waste your time with unimaginative run plays on first down that would be great.

Spur

Impressed by the Huskie D. Their offense and punter has put them in a lot of tough situations.

scotchnaut

Punter is MVP so far.

herodotus450

Well now we know why bama is so good, they have butterbean on their o line.

scotchnaut

I was thinking of Jared Lorenzen but that’s just multiple twice-baked stuffed Potatoes vs. several twice-baked stuffed Potatoes. I’m willing to call the whole thing off.

scotchnaut

Bama: “Would you like to take this game? We’ve got a few gifts for you.”

Wash: [hesitates] “Is this a trick?”

Spur

Washington really needed that fumble

Spur

Nice tackle ref

herodotus450

Wash sure was right about treating this like an NFL game. Punts, flags, no-flags, “defense.” Not enough commercials though.

Spanky Datass

ALL HAIL BLEERGH THE YOUNGER!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s cold and rainy here, perfect fireplace weather except I’m afraid if I start one I’ll end up burning my house down because 2016.

scotchnaut

So…when does the Wash O coordinator figure out that the Tide D is susceptible to mis-direction plays because they tend to over-pursue?

herodotus450

Hopefully sometime this decade

Spur

“kind of give him concussion test”

kind of?

scotchnaut

/worst argument of all time

“Chick-a-Fila is run by religious nutballs but their sandwiches are *so* good!”

...

I’ve pretty much concluded that I can’t avoid spending money such that terrible people aren’t enriched.

scotchnaut

You’ve gotta pick your spots-I despise the oil industry but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to gas up my vehicle.

Spur

That was close to getting out of control. Huskies need to score.

ballsofsteelandfury

– Freshman at first UW dorm party

scotchnaut

Alabama shoots itself in the foot in conSECutive plays.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Around here we prefer the expression “Aqib Talib’d themselves”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh hai, Hanna.

Horatio Cornblower

I already wanted to be Derek Jeter but now I want to be that horse.

scotchnaut

“This one’s my favourite.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The phone battery is warm.

Spanky Datass

“This may sound silly …” __Todd Blackledge in a rare moment of clarity.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

WHOA! Ankle deep in SPLOOSH!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hate sports.
That is all.

scotchnaut

Did Smith Jr. blow out his knee?

/JINX!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s just mean.
And also…not yet. Well not again, yet.

scotchnaut

Cuse is 8-5-I don’t care about anything anymore.

/#letitburn

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fair enough.

scotchnaut

Sour, congealed milk has never been so sexy…

scotchnaut

You’d think that with so much on the line Saban would pay a bit more attention to his hair.

Spur

Browning is Washington’s weak link. He’s a good player but he needs to have a great day to beat Alabama.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
herodotus450

That was a cool little play, the guy in motion goes under center for a qb sneak.
/Next play, pick 6.
Oh.

...

welp.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

Looks like John Ross is limping too after that
The triple casualty

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck shitteh football.
‘s time fo’ baxsetballing.
GO!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
scotchnaut

That’s a bad comment and you should feel bad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU’RE a bad comment.
Fucking canadia syracuse n junk.

scotchnaut

[sticks out tongue]

scotchnaut

The Wash D needs a score in order to come away with the win.