2016 NFL Season End Standings, An Exploration

No, not a jazz odyssey, an exploration. Clearly this is not an exclusive club, but I wanted to dig into it further. Just bear with me for a second as we take a closer look at the standings and who led each of these teams to their respective records. I have faith that you all can figure out the parentheticals, especially since it’s not Antonio Cromartie (12).

AFC EAST

New England Patriots (14-2) Jimmy Garoppolo (2), Jacoby Brissett (2), Tom Brady (12)

Miami Dolphins (10-6) Ryan Tannehill (13), Matt Moore (3)

Buffalo Bills (7-9) Tyrod Taylor (15), EJ Manuel (1)

New York Jets (5-11) Ryan Fitzpatrick (11), Geno Smith (1), Bryce Petty (4) 

AFC NORTH

Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5) Ben Roethlisberger (14), Landry Jones (2)

Baltimore Ravens (8-8) Joe Flacco (16)

Cincinnati Bengals (6-9-1) Andy Dalton (16)

Cleveland Browns (1-15) RGIII (5), Josh McCown (3), Cody Kessler (8) 

AFC SOUTH

MYSTERY TEAM (9-7) Brock Osweiler (14), Tom Savage (2) 

Tennessee Titans (9-7) Marcus Mariota (15), Matt Cassel (1)

Indianapolis Colts (8-8) Andrew Luck (15), Scott Tolzien (1)

Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13) Blake Bortles (16)

AFC WEST

Kansas City Chiefs (12-4) Alex Smith (15), Nick Foles (1)

Oakland Raiders (12-4) Derek Carr (15), Matt McGloin (1)

Denver Broncos (9-7) Trevor Siemian (14), Paxton Lynch (2)

San Diego Chargers (5-11) Marmalard (16)

NFC EAST

Dallas Cowboys (13-3) Dak Prescott (16)

New York Giants (11-5) Eli Manning (16)

Washington [REDACTED]s (8-7-1) Kirk Cousins (16)

Philadelphia Eagles (7-9) Carson Wentz (16)

NFC NORTH

Green Bay Packers (10-6) Aaron Rodgers (16)

Detroit Lions (9-7) Fatt Stafford (16)

Minnesota Vikings (8-8) Shaun Hill (1), Sam Bradford (15)

Chicago Bears (3-13) Jay Cutler (5), Brian Hoyer (5), Matt Barkley (6)

NFC SOUTH

Atlanta Falcons (11-5) Matt Ryan (16)

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (9-7) Jameis Winston (16)

New Orleans Saints (7-9) Drew Brees (16)

Carolina Panthers (6-10) Cam Newton (14*), Horse Balls Anderson (2**)

NFC WEST

Seattle Seahawks (10-5-1) Russell Wilson (16)

Arizona Cardinals (7-8-1) Carson Palmer (15), Drew Stanton (1)

Los Angeles Rams (4-12) Case Keenum (9), Jared Goff (7)

San Francisco 49ers (Rams and 14) Blaine Gabbert (5), Colin Kaepernick (11)

A couple of observations:

• This was a waste of my time. NFL.com, ESPN, and the other usual suspects don’t list out games started in a sortable, searchable fashion that was helpful here. I cobbled most of this info from here and wikipedia. In a related note, I am already behind on work for 2017.
• Not at all what I was expecting. In the AFC, not a single division winner (or any of the playoff teams) had the same QB start every single game, while in the NFC, each of the division winners (and ALL of the playoff teams) did.
• Every division has at least one quarterback who started all 16 games–except one. Thanks, Ginger Hammer!
• I put asterisks on the Panthers data because it’s still rigodamndiculous that Cam got benched for one series for not wearing a tie–and Derek Anderson promptly threw a pick. Horse Balls gets two stars because he has two huge balls.
• Matt Ryan has started all 16 of the Falcons regular season games each year since 2010 and all but 2 since 2008 when he was spelled by Chris Redman for two games. Not gonna lie, kind of impressed, and I had no idea he’d been so consistent/healthy.
• Drew Brees has started all but 2 of the Saints regular season games since 2006 (!), missing one start in 2015 (Luke McCown started) and another in 2009 (Mark Brunell started). Breesus Christ indeed.
• Philip Rivers has started all 16 games for the Chargers each season since 2006, taking over from a quarterback who started all 16 games in 2005: Drew Brees.
• But the king of consistency, apparently, is Mr. Juice Box himself. Eli Manning has started EVERY SINGLE REGULAR SEASON GAME for the Giants since 2005, and even started 7 games in 2004. Maybe Ashley Manning was taking deliveries for her brother in law, too.
• It should go without saying, but there are some ATROCIOUS quarterbacks on this list that have no business ever starting a game. And this doesn’t include the pupu platter of other QBs that got garbage time or were compelled into replacement duty.
• Back to the point, though, I expected far more of a correlation between multiple quarterbacks and shittiness of division. The NFC East had every single QB start all 16 games, and that is a pretty stable division.  But other than that, I don’t see any conclusions to draw.
• HOWEVAH, any team that started three quarterbacks (except New England) this season is a hot steaming pile of garbage. Which is no surprise at all, really. :sigh: I somehow miss Moses Moreno.

As usual, I learned nothing, and Roger Goodell remains a national disgrace. I’m sure Dok or some of you high-falutin’ stats types may be able to dig into this further, but I’m tapped out. May the playoffs not suck!