I’m telling you, I have a really good feeling about 2017. I don’t know why, but I am unusually optimistic about this year. I am ready to leave behind everything that happened in 2016 and move on to something better and brighter.
Already, we have had the return of Sherlock to TV screens with the promise of a movie-theater showing of the season finale. In addition, we just had the return of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia to FX as well as the promised return of Archer sometime in the Spring. If that doesn’t get you excited for the New Year, I don’t know what will.
Well, I can think of some things. This is Sexy Friday, after all. Without further ado, here is my tribute to the coming year (phrasing) month by month:
January
I don’t know if you have ski resorts close to you, but we do here in sunny Southern California. One of these days, I will do the Southern California Daily Double of going skiing in the morning and surfing in the ocean in the afternoon. Pro tip: Never do it the other way around! The snow gets slushy in the afternoon and the more tired you are on the slopes the more likely you’ll fall on your ass and bust your butt.
February
February means Valentine’s Day which is great whether or not you are with someone. If you have a Significant Other, you can get them to dress up in sexy outfits and do something “special” that night. For certain couples, “special” equals “anal”. For those without Significant Others, Valentine’s night is a great night to go out as people depressed over the fact they do not have a Mr. or Mrs. Right will settle for Mr. or Mrs. Right Now. It’s a wonderful night for one-night stands. With that in mind, let’s see how much mayhem that day could bring.
March
March brings St. Patrick’s Day and an appreciation for Irish lasses. Now, I’m not Irish myself but I have been known to drink a few green beers on this day and a shit-ton of Guinness. Seriously, I love that beer. With that in mind, please join me in tipping back a few.
Oh those Germans!
April
April for us on the West Coast usually means Spring Break. I know you East Coasters have some colleges get out in March, but all my Spring Break memories took place in April. So deal with it. If I remember correctly, a lot of crazy shit happens during Spring Break.
May
May brings us Cinco De Mayo, which is just the Mexican version of St. Patrick’s Day. Ain’t nothing wrong with that!
June
And now, an important public service announcement:
That reminds me. June is the beginning of SUMMER! That means getting ready for the beach. Buying just the right swimsuit is very important. Allow me to illustrate:
I really need to get the gardener to trim the bushes! And there are WAY too many leaves on the furniture! MANUEL!
July
July means Fourth of July which means patriotism. Nothing says patriotism to me more than ladies wearing American flag bathing suits.
August
August is my birthday month. Yes, insane ladies that believe in horoscopes, I’m a Leo. Many of you will have guessed that. Well, what is the best birthday present a man can get? Birthday sex! I particularly remember one particular year where it was spectacular. Like mind-blowing. I haven’t been able to duplicate it since. Yet. In honor of that, I give you what would be awesome to wake up to.
September
September to me means Mexican Independence Day. Is that a reason to post pictures of hot latinas again? Is it also an excuse for Mexicans in the US to drink and party like in Cinco de Mayo?
October
Oh, October. Probably next to August my favorite month. October, of course, means Halloween which means an excuse for girls to dress up in slutty costumes. An added bonus, of course, is that it brings goth girls more into the spotlight as it becomes “cool” to adopt that look that month.
November
November is Thanksgiving. Now, you may not think Thanksgiving is very sexy what with relatives, turkey-induced comas, over-eating, and the cold weather approaching. Obviously, you are doing Thanksgiving wrong. I celebrate Thanksgiving by giving thanks to the people I love for being there for me all year long. You know what that means?
December
December, of course, is Christmas and all the wonderful things it represents. Good will, happiness, and lots and lots of presents! And girls in Santa outfits.
So, that’s the year we have ahead of us. Pretty damn good, don’t you think? Let’s see, what else does tWBS do for Sexy Friday?
Oh yeah!
I am also an amateur photographer. WAAAAYY below tWBS in terms of ability, but I’m getting there. As they say, practice makes perfect. Here is an old one I took on a trip to Joshua Tree. I call it “Don’t Fuck with Me”
There may be sports on tonight, but quite frankly I don’t really care. I’d rather discuss how good this year is going to be and what cool things everyone is planning to do!
What awesome thing are you planning to do this year? I could tell you mine, but she’d kill me.
Yours in the comments…
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b861e8216293f6fc45c6afdfc389ada5/tumblr_oiwvw2ttn61rpqdi8o1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/af6068563cff1994c52d58c30cfb3f19/tumblr_nyly2lcjPE1u78m4jo2_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0a74f65e671c83264ac884bca8b51f25/tumblr_nyly2lcjPE1u78m4jo1_500.gif
There is no place for it, sure, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen.
With science it gets shouted down by facts. The main reason this kind of bullshit is in science at all is because of fucking politics or religion. Galileo is a nice simple example.
Goddamnit; I believe that is his point!
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-KlTsbRZ-LA8/UJz3uY58LXI/AAAAAAAACow/0yGeEr9Epc0/w1200-h630-p-nu/sexy.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f7cda8bf32b2107e1e7adc41c3f84eee/tumblr_nswjk0Py301s1xd7so1_1280.png
http://68.media.tumblr.com/82f4e2f18adfc29b28319d53042ad4bd/tumblr_oj6kjlNu6B1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
much like that gif of the bulldog sitting in the corner,
I will never not find this funny
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d7e3cc1cdee1a77ea73a04774605adf4/tumblr_oitebkx8hf1vyvg1co1_540.gif
http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/69/69c314b6b99c139576a6a9a395184aabc734e186c41b764594f8a053c852eb6f.jpg
You and I are on the same Google Image Search site…
See if you can guess what I’m gonna search next…
(hint….penis is NOT in the algorithm….yet)
MOOSE!
HIPPO!
http://s9.postimg.org/i93ttzvpb/ezgif_2360809258.gif
http://holidaysimages.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Wiggle-Your-Toes-Day-Funny.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/26d33880b255a536dfad6fe29744fa86/tumblr_mfebzzTmiO1ric2iqo1_500.jpg
I am NAWT optimistic, but I sure enjoyed flipping through the calendar.
/we still all gon’ die
//even if not, I will still suck at life mightily
///pills WOO!!!
Stop mucking about.
You might be needed to kick me in the nuts at some point in case you ain’t been paying attention.
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/jamesbond/images/7/7b/Xenia_sadic.gif/revision/latest?cb=20160627173300
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d56839e4e941849e915b63bc35abe558/tumblr_ojccemrER81rhvnljo1_1280.png
Alessandra Ambrosio at the beach in Florianopolis, Brazil.
Seriously….I need to exercise more….
?quality=85&strip=info
OK, enough of that.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f7fb90af8dc9e5d0915a2bd09fa3837c/tumblr_oiyude9czo1tqoojmo2_540.gif
EXTREME sports in Florida:
EXTREME lack of situational and regional awareness;
“The citizens of Florida will not tolerate senseless acts of evil,” Gov. Rick Scott said. “I just can’t imagine how this ever happened in a state like ours.”
in reference to a shooting at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport Friday left five dead and eight wounded.
Well, he does live in Florida, so he’s not all there.
Apologies to the Florida DFOers, but you know it’s true.
Meh; Colorado: Home of HUGE mass shootings.
But also legalized marijuana. Speaking of, there have been NO mass shootings since pot became legal. Coincidence?!?
Huummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…….
Jeebus….I’d care more about the weather if I lived in Mexico I think…..
http://giant.gfycat.com/ColorfulCluelessGreathornedowl.gif
It’s snowing like a bitch here.
Yes this was just a ploy to paste gif of hot MexiWeather chiquita…..
I love the site name:
http://manteresting.com/sites/default/files/styles/pin_tmb_2/public/field/image/nail/2015/Apr/04/suddenlyass2336.gif?itok=zBsmjD-T
Booooooo!! I guess I’ll have to go to suddenlyass.com by myself…
Wait….whut?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/2287a57511d2af85e817cb74aae8e095/tumblr_o062j9F4B11uu7424o6_250.gif
I see yoga in my future….
http://nowdaily.com/wp-content/uploads/wide-legged-foward-fold.gif?ffc0e9
?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
OK I’ve to McDonald’s literally dozens of times. This never happens to me.
*been
I was always under the impression that women who looked like that didn’t go to mcdonalds
not that I usually think in such broad terms
It looks like you need to go to Australia for that.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
😀
http://38.media.tumblr.com/7d4456a9f3907f8aeb351d9e223e7a7d/tumblr_niqnuwHXQa1siq8rfo7_250.gif
Best squat ever.
Hehehehe….I said “squat”.
I need to exercise more….
?quality=85&strip=info&w=600
Her: Wanna play Call of Duty?
Me: Fuck yeah.
I was just about to post that! Great minds…
It’s a very nice tushie.
Just saying.
You think GB wins this weekend?
http://dxmediapro.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/olivia-munn-gif-8.gif
Yes
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?w=375&h=550
Holy mother….there IS a god.
http://bm.img.com.ua/nxs/img/prikol/images/large/3/4/295743_777509.jpg
https://postimg.org/image/4nnqgclqf/92bfa31b/
TECHNICALLY LEGAL!!!!!!
The best kind of correct
She seems smart.
and fluffy
Btw, I didn’t mention it in the post but today is the Feast of the Three Kings or Dia de Los Reyes Magos in spanish. In Spanish tradition, presents are given out today to loved ones.
Also, there is King Cake or Rosca de Reyes. Whoever finds the baby hosts a party in the next month.
Enjoy the day!
Motherfucker!!!! I gotta go buy more presents????
Only if you get the baby.
Sorry, I misread that. Yes, you do have to get more presents. If you have Spanish blood.
http://thumbnails117.imagebam.com/52491/cb2921524906623.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZa3Y1tcKJ4
Counterpoint: this year already sucks donkey balls
Six days in, What’s your boggle?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a4XWlroqZYg
I can’t speak for bret, but I wonder if its a lack of good things to balance out the impending orange menace.
also the weather. fuck winter.
maybe i’m just in a bad mood cause i’m sick
Totally get it. I’ve been in a funk for a while.
Time to jerk myself (hehehehe) out of it.
Mr. Orange will mess something up no doubt. But it won’t be as bad as we fear….I think. No reason to worry over it either way.
I agree. I’ve lived through corrupt Mexican presidents. We all will be fine.
Let’s try again….
http://www.sharegif.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/18/45-hot-girl-gifs-26.gif
THERE IT IS!!!! NOW HAVE THIS BONUS SINCE i FUCKED UP BEFORE….
http://dudelol.com/massimg/20-hot-girl-gifs96208.gif
/gonna get high now
I’m about to go outside in the snow and get really fucking high.
But first….have this….
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/52906905.jpg
Shit…my cut/paster fucked up. Sumbitch.
…..sure it did
IT DID!!!!
i think.
But now I’m high so I don’t know for sure.
http://thefunpic.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/the-funny-picture-gril-emily-palos-considerable-hump-day-on-a-tiny-frame-22-photos.gif
Also, Happy sexy friday everyone!
I love that you can see the second she thinks, “Maybe this was a bad idea.”
Love me some Layla El
http://a4.files.maxim.com/image/upload/c_fit,cs_srgb,dpr_1.0,q_80,w_620/MTM1Mjg4ODg5ODk0MDI5MzIy.jpg
I miss her…
evening all. long time no see.
tonights subject: reoccuring kidney stone pain:
a) One of the worst things about getting older
OR
b)THE FUCKING WORST?!?!?!?!
I really hope some day lamenting my first world problems aren’t the catalyst for coming onto the site.
also, stupid internet sites with low effort content deserve all the shit in the world, but man funny or die gets it right.
You said “coming onto the site”.
hehehehe
All this and a cactus too???????
I think maybe we’ve found our new Sexy Friday guy.
Nicely done balls, fwiw.
Nah, this puppy is yours. Thanks for letting me fill in.
Phrasing.
You can fill in my slot anytime.
errrr….ummmm…..yeah, that’s what I meant.
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ZGOEkqoyz5I/TsEgd836BSI/AAAAAAAAANc/9xRnRL7naXE/s1600/Cactus.jpg
I thought accidental anal was the previous thread.
So a little thing about encryption in light the Podesta snafu:
For the love of God, get two-factor authentication for your email accounts, and any other site that deems it necessary to offer it. Example, I have it for my home and school e-mail accounts, Amazon, and in a weird wrinkle, I write for a blog that’s part of a larger network and they recently made having two-factor a requirement for all accounts.
Now while the claims that his password was ‘password’ are sounding bogus, how the fuck did no one get to him and equip his account and computer with proper encryption?
Seriously, that generation of people Podesta’s age are the ones most likely to get something hacked or their identity stolen. My father is still pissed at me for making his password semi-complex and random, but I had a reason for doing it. Familiar words and numbers just don’t cut it nowadays.
So, you write for a blog, huh?
Wanna write here? The pay is non-existent, but your DFO $12 shares will surely appreciate given our sandwich-heavy portfolio!
He’s right.
Hell, I can retire in 264 years.
As IT Person, let me tell you that getting your average user to use 2-factor authentication is like convincing an 18 year old he needs to wear a helmet while driving a car.
My wife is more educated than me and in many ways smarter, and she still uses passwords like “test” and “secret” on shit that matters. Like, Amazon and that sort of stuff. It’s not good.
At least she doesn’t use “guest”
The details of the Podesta hack are long and hard, but his password wasn’t “password.” There was a clusterfuck involving multiple people, but yeah, 2FA is stupidly easy to set up, but the vast majority of people are even more stupid and lazy, including the future leader of the free world.
2017. A reality show host picks a fight with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wasn’t that the exact plot of “The Running Man?”
That was an AWESOME movie!
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2cqPrm5ymqc/UtsDsjuF9SI/AAAAAAAAfDM/RLbG2HvrpVk/s1600/Maria-Conchita-Alonso-Feet-253051.jpg
That film featured two State Governors, one NFL Hall of Famer, and one member of Fleetwood Mac.
Now THAT is a fucking film!
“I mean…. what’s the deal with these white Hispanics in Florida?”
http://gazettereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jerry-seinfeld-2.jpg