Happy New Sexy Friday!

I’m telling you, I have a really good feeling about 2017.  I don’t know why, but I am unusually optimistic about this year.  I am ready to leave behind everything that happened in 2016 and move on to something better and brighter.

Already, we have had the return of Sherlock to TV screens with the promise of a movie-theater showing of the season finale. In addition, we just had the return of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia to FX as well as the promised return of Archer sometime in the Spring.  If that doesn’t get you excited for the New Year, I don’t know what will.

Well, I can think of some things.  This is Sexy Friday, after all. Without further ado, here is my tribute to the coming year (phrasing) month by month:

January

I don’t know if you have ski resorts close to you, but we do here in sunny Southern California.  One of these days, I will do the Southern California Daily Double of going skiing in the morning and surfing in the ocean in the afternoon.  Pro tip:  Never do it the other way around!  The snow gets slushy in the afternoon and the more tired you are on the slopes the more likely you’ll fall on your ass and bust your butt.

Who wants to snowboard?!?
Who wants to snowboard?!?
Or are you more a skier?
Or are you more a skier?
I'm more of an après-ski hot tub person myself.
I’m more of an après-ski hot tub person myself.

February

February means Valentine’s Day which is great whether or not you are with someone.  If you have a Significant Other, you can get them to dress up in sexy outfits and do something “special” that night.  For certain couples, “special” equals “anal”.  For those without Significant Others, Valentine’s night is a great night to go out as people depressed over the fact they do not have a Mr. or Mrs. Right will settle for Mr. or Mrs. Right Now.  It’s a wonderful night for one-night stands.  With that in mind, let’s see how much mayhem that day could bring.

That's very nice.
That’s very nice.
Oh, that's nice too.
Oh, that’s nice too.
You know what? The crazier the outfit the better!
You know what? The crazier the outfit the better!

March

March brings St. Patrick’s Day and an appreciation for Irish lasses.  Now, I’m not Irish myself but I have been known to drink a few green beers on this day and a shit-ton of Guinness.  Seriously, I love that beer. With that in mind, please join me in tipping back a few.

If you don't wake up next to her on the 18th, you didn't do St. Patrick's right.
If you don’t wake up next to her on the 18th, you didn’t drink enough.
Sweetie, you have some Guinness in you...oh that's NOT Guinness? Carry on.
Sweetie, you have some Guinness in you…oh that’s NOT Guinness? Carry on.

Oh those Germans!

April

April for us on the West Coast usually means Spring Break.  I know you East Coasters have some colleges get out in March, but all my Spring Break memories took place in April.  So deal with it.  If I remember correctly, a lot of crazy shit happens during Spring Break.

Can't see it, can you Russ?
Can’t even see them, can you Russ?
I see Paris. I see France. I see Uranus.
I see Paris. I see France. I see Uranus.
No need for hot sauce.
No need for hot sauce.

May

May brings us Cinco De Mayo, which is just the Mexican version of St. Patrick’s Day.  Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

Um, I didn't do it.
Um, I didn’t do it.
Seriously, I didn't bring the Corona.
Seriously, I didn’t bring the Corona.
Okay fine! But at least I brought Negra Modelo.
Okay fine! But at least I brought Negra Modelo.

June

And now, an important public service announcement:

https://vimeo.com/11673844

That reminds me.  June is the beginning of SUMMER!  That means getting ready for the beach.  Buying just the right swimsuit is very important.  Allow me to illustrate:

I really need to get the gardener to trim the bushes!  And there are WAY too many leaves on the furniture!  MANUEL!

July

July means Fourth of July which means patriotism.  Nothing says patriotism to me more than ladies wearing American flag bathing suits.

We're all saluting, right?
We’re all saluting, right?
Are you wearing that right? Never mind...
Are you wearing that right? Never mind…
Yup, definitely saluting!
Yup, definitely saluting!

August

August is my birthday month.  Yes, insane ladies that believe in horoscopes, I’m a Leo.  Many of you will have guessed that.  Well, what is the best birthday present a man can get?  Birthday sex! I particularly remember one particular year where it was spectacular.  Like mind-blowing.  I haven’t been able to duplicate it since.  Yet.  In honor of that, I give you what would be awesome to wake up to.

Goooood Morrrniiiing Baaaaallllssss!
Goooood Morrrniiiing Baaaaallllssss!
Sleep well? Yeah, I was up all night.
Sleep well? Yeah me neither. I was up all night.
I told you I like them crazy, right?
I told you I like them crazy, right?

September

September to me means Mexican Independence Day.  Is that a reason to post pictures of hot latinas again?  Is it also an excuse for Mexicans in the US to drink and party like in Cinco de Mayo?

Why Spanish girls? Duh, who do you think Mexico got independence from?
Why Spanish girls? Duh, who do you think Mexico got independence from?
Yo también.
Yo también.  Wait, what?
Bonus: She knows how to handle a pole.
Bonus: She knows how to handle a pole.

October

Oh, October.  Probably next to August my favorite month.  October, of course, means Halloween which means an excuse for girls to dress up in slutty costumes.  An added bonus, of course, is that it brings goth girls more into the spotlight as it becomes “cool” to adopt that look that month.

New Orleans? New Orleans!
New Orleans? New Orleans!
I think Robert Smith would be proud.
I think Robert Smith would be proud.
Now THAT is a Halloween costume!
Now THAT is a Halloween costume!

November

November is Thanksgiving.  Now, you may not think Thanksgiving is very sexy what with relatives, turkey-induced comas, over-eating, and the cold weather approaching.  Obviously, you are doing Thanksgiving wrong.  I celebrate Thanksgiving by giving thanks to the people I love for being there for me all year long.  You know what that means?

Yup.
Yup.
Alex, what do I have?
Alex, what do I have?
Truth.
Truth.

December

December, of course, is Christmas and all the wonderful things it represents.  Good will, happiness, and lots and lots of presents!  And girls in Santa outfits.

Insert yourself here. Literally.
Insert yourself here. Literally.
I found this and I had no choice. It's 102.5 The Bone people!
I found this and I had no choice. It’s 102.5 The Bone people!
Well played.
Well played.

So, that’s the year we have ahead of us.  Pretty damn good, don’t you think?  Let’s see, what else does tWBS do for Sexy Friday?

Oh yeah!

I am also an amateur photographer.  WAAAAYY below tWBS in terms of ability, but I’m getting there.  As they say, practice makes perfect.  Here is an old one I took on a trip to Joshua Tree.  I call it “Don’t Fuck with Me”

imag0149

There may be sports on tonight, but quite frankly I don’t really care.  I’d rather discuss how good this year is going to be and what cool things everyone is planning to do!

What awesome thing are you planning to do this year?  I could tell you mine, but she’d kill me.

Yours in the comments…

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With science it gets shouted down by facts. The main reason this kind of bullshit is in science at all is because of fucking politics or religion. Galileo is a nice simple example.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Goddamnit; I believe that is his point!

Brocky

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Brocky

much like that gif of the bulldog sitting in the corner,

I will never not find this funny

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

See if you can guess what I’m gonna search next…
(hint….penis is NOT in the algorithm….yet)

King Hippo

I am NAWT optimistic, but I sure enjoyed flipping through the calendar.

/we still all gon’ die

//even if not, I will still suck at life mightily

///pills WOO!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Stop mucking about.
You might be needed to kick me in the nuts at some point in case you ain’t been paying attention.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously….I need to exercise more….
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

EXTREME sports in Florida:

EXTREME lack of situational and regional awareness;
“The citizens of Florida will not tolerate senseless acts of evil,” Gov. Rick Scott said. “I just can’t imagine how this ever happened in a state like ours.”

in reference to a shooting at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport Friday left five dead and eight wounded.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Meh; Colorado: Home of HUGE mass shootings.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Huummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…….

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeebus….I’d care more about the weather if I lived in Mexico I think…..
http://giant.gfycat.com/ColorfulCluelessGreathornedowl.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s snowing like a bitch here.
Yes this was just a ploy to paste gif of hot MexiWeather chiquita…..
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wait….whut?

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus

OK I’ve to McDonald’s literally dozens of times. This never happens to me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

*been

Brocky

I was always under the impression that women who looked like that didn’t go to mcdonalds

not that I usually think in such broad terms

theeWeeBabySeamus

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!
😀

theeWeeBabySeamus

Best squat ever.
Hehehehe….I said “squat”.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I need to exercise more….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Her: Wanna play Call of Duty?
Me: Fuck yeah.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s a very nice tushie.
Just saying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy mother….there IS a god.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

TECHNICALLY LEGAL!!!!!!
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Unsurprised

The best kind of correct

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Brocky

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Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems smart.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Motherfucker!!!! I gotta go buy more presents????

Unsurprised
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Counterpoint: this year already sucks donkey balls

theeWeeBabySeamus

Six days in, What’s your boggle?

Brocky

I can’t speak for bret, but I wonder if its a lack of good things to balance out the impending orange menace.

also the weather. fuck winter.

maybe i’m just in a bad mood cause i’m sick

theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally get it. I’ve been in a funk for a while.
Time to jerk myself (hehehehe) out of it.

Mr. Orange will mess something up no doubt. But it won’t be as bad as we fear….I think. No reason to worry over it either way.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THERE IT IS!!!! NOW HAVE THIS BONUS SINCE i FUCKED UP BEFORE….
http://dudelol.com/massimg/20-hot-girl-gifs96208.gif
/gonna get high now

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m about to go outside in the snow and get really fucking high.
But first….have this….
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/52906905.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit…my cut/paster fucked up. Sumbitch.

Brocky

…..sure it did

theeWeeBabySeamus

IT DID!!!!
i think.
But now I’m high so I don’t know for sure.

Brocky

Also, Happy sexy friday everyone!

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Brocky

I miss her…

Brocky

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evening all. long time no see.

tonights subject: reoccuring kidney stone pain:

a) One of the worst things about getting older

OR

b)THE FUCKING WORST?!?!?!?!

I really hope some day lamenting my first world problems aren’t the catalyst for coming onto the site.

also, stupid internet sites with low effort content deserve all the shit in the world, but man funny or die gets it right.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You said “coming onto the site”.
hehehehe

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

All this and a cactus too???????
I think maybe we’ve found our new Sexy Friday guy.
Nicely done balls, fwiw.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You can fill in my slot anytime.
errrr….ummmm…..yeah, that’s what I meant.

Unsurprised

I thought accidental anal was the previous thread.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So a little thing about encryption in light the Podesta snafu:

For the love of God, get two-factor authentication for your email accounts, and any other site that deems it necessary to offer it. Example, I have it for my home and school e-mail accounts, Amazon, and in a weird wrinkle, I write for a blog that’s part of a larger network and they recently made having two-factor a requirement for all accounts.

Now while the claims that his password was ‘password’ are sounding bogus, how the fuck did no one get to him and equip his account and computer with proper encryption?

Seriously, that generation of people Podesta’s age are the ones most likely to get something hacked or their identity stolen. My father is still pissed at me for making his password semi-complex and random, but I had a reason for doing it. Familiar words and numbers just don’t cut it nowadays.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s right.
Hell, I can retire in 264 years.

Gratliff

As IT Person, let me tell you that getting your average user to use 2-factor authentication is like convincing an 18 year old he needs to wear a helmet while driving a car.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife is more educated than me and in many ways smarter, and she still uses passwords like “test” and “secret” on shit that matters. Like, Amazon and that sort of stuff. It’s not good.

Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

The details of the Podesta hack are long and hard, but his password wasn’t “password.” There was a clusterfuck involving multiple people, but yeah, 2FA is stupidly easy to set up, but the vast majority of people are even more stupid and lazy, including the future leader of the free world.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Col. Duke LaCross

2017. A reality show host picks a fight with Arnold Schwarzenegger. Wasn’t that the exact plot of “The Running Man?”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“I mean…. what’s the deal with these white Hispanics in Florida?”

http://gazettereview.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/05/jerry-seinfeld-2.jpg

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