I’m telling you, I have a really good feeling about 2017.  I don’t know why, but I am unusually optimistic about this year.  I am ready to leave behind everything that happened in 2016 and move on to something better and brighter.

Already, we have had the return of Sherlock to TV screens with the promise of a movie-theater showing of the season finale. In addition, we just had the return of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia to FX as well as the promised return of Archer sometime in the Spring.  If that doesn’t get you excited for the New Year, I don’t know what will.

Well, I can think of some things.  This is Sexy Friday, after all. Without further ado, here is my tribute to the coming year (phrasing) month by month:

January

I don’t know if you have ski resorts close to you, but we do here in sunny Southern California.  One of these days, I will do the Southern California Daily Double of going skiing in the morning and surfing in the ocean in the afternoon.  Pro tip:  Never do it the other way around!  The snow gets slushy in the afternoon and the more tired you are on the slopes the more likely you’ll fall on your ass and bust your butt.

February

February means Valentine’s Day which is great whether or not you are with someone.  If you have a Significant Other, you can get them to dress up in sexy outfits and do something “special” that night.  For certain couples, “special” equals “anal”.  For those without Significant Others, Valentine’s night is a great night to go out as people depressed over the fact they do not have a Mr. or Mrs. Right will settle for Mr. or Mrs. Right Now.  It’s a wonderful night for one-night stands.  With that in mind, let’s see how much mayhem that day could bring.

March

March brings St. Patrick’s Day and an appreciation for Irish lasses.  Now, I’m not Irish myself but I have been known to drink a few green beers on this day and a shit-ton of Guinness.  Seriously, I love that beer. With that in mind, please join me in tipping back a few.

Oh those Germans!

April

April for us on the West Coast usually means Spring Break.  I know you East Coasters have some colleges get out in March, but all my Spring Break memories took place in April.  So deal with it.  If I remember correctly, a lot of crazy shit happens during Spring Break.

May

May brings us Cinco De Mayo, which is just the Mexican version of St. Patrick’s Day.  Ain’t nothing wrong with that!

June

And now, an important public service announcement:

https://vimeo.com/11673844

That reminds me.  June is the beginning of SUMMER!  That means getting ready for the beach.  Buying just the right swimsuit is very important.  Allow me to illustrate:

I really need to get the gardener to trim the bushes!  And there are WAY too many leaves on the furniture!  MANUEL!

July

July means Fourth of July which means patriotism.  Nothing says patriotism to me more than ladies wearing American flag bathing suits.

August

August is my birthday month.  Yes, insane ladies that believe in horoscopes, I’m a Leo.  Many of you will have guessed that.  Well, what is the best birthday present a man can get?  Birthday sex! I particularly remember one particular year where it was spectacular.  Like mind-blowing.  I haven’t been able to duplicate it since.  Yet.  In honor of that, I give you what would be awesome to wake up to.

September

September to me means Mexican Independence Day.  Is that a reason to post pictures of hot latinas again?  Is it also an excuse for Mexicans in the US to drink and party like in Cinco de Mayo?

October

Oh, October.  Probably next to August my favorite month.  October, of course, means Halloween which means an excuse for girls to dress up in slutty costumes.  An added bonus, of course, is that it brings goth girls more into the spotlight as it becomes “cool” to adopt that look that month.

November

November is Thanksgiving.  Now, you may not think Thanksgiving is very sexy what with relatives, turkey-induced comas, over-eating, and the cold weather approaching.  Obviously, you are doing Thanksgiving wrong.  I celebrate Thanksgiving by giving thanks to the people I love for being there for me all year long.  You know what that means?

December

December, of course, is Christmas and all the wonderful things it represents.  Good will, happiness, and lots and lots of presents!  And girls in Santa outfits.

So, that’s the year we have ahead of us.  Pretty damn good, don’t you think?  Let’s see, what else does tWBS do for Sexy Friday?

Oh yeah!

I am also an amateur photographer.  WAAAAYY below tWBS in terms of ability, but I’m getting there.  As they say, practice makes perfect.  Here is an old one I took on a trip to Joshua Tree.  I call it “Don’t Fuck with Me”

There may be sports on tonight, but quite frankly I don’t really care.  I’d rather discuss how good this year is going to be and what cool things everyone is planning to do!

What awesome thing are you planning to do this year?  I could tell you mine, but she’d kill me.

Yours in the comments…