Your “Paging Tom Coughlin’s Red Face. Please Pick Up The White Courtesy Telegraph” NFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

“Anyone can ‘lick the table’-that’s for amateurs. A real pro knows that the good bits are directly beneath the table sitting there on the floor.”

-Andy Reid, misinterpreting Aaron Rodgers’ prediction

NYG/GB– 6 in a row vs. 9 of 11. Fourth in scoring vs. second in points allowed. The Pack has scored 30+ in their last 4 and the Giants have allowed 10 or less in 3 of their last four. The Giants have more interceptions than TD’s allowed. Rodgers sports a 15/0 TD/INT ratio since the winning streak began. THIS MIGHT BE A GOOD GAME. Game-wise the big fear for the Giants is if Rodgers is able to find lanes to run/elongate plays so that a wr can get open. The Giants do have two lockdown guys at cb (Jenkins, Rogers-Cromartie) and an All Pro at safety in Collins. That combined with a dl that can clog up running lanes and ends that can get to the qb has this Giants fan engaging in a modicum of hope that the victory can be pulled out. With Rodgers and the Giants D so evenly matched I guess it comes down to which is more capable-the Pack’s D or the Giants Eli Manning-led O? Shut up! The run game has improved greatly since rb Perkins has started. Over the last 3 games he’s averaged 4.8 ypc. So there. [deliberately ignores Manning’s 9TD/6INT stat line in the last 6 games] Green Bay’s secondary is a mess and OBJ can break one at any time, you know. Plus the punter Brad Wing/gunner Dwayne Harris combo has played lights-out the last few games!

…Dammit-I’m still not convinced the Giants can take this. Let’s watch this scrotum-tightening bastard game, shall we?

GO-GO GADGET COMMENTERS!!!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

/shitting self
-Patriots fans

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That Aaron Rodgers TD brought to you by him finally getting rid of that dead weight that was holding him down early in the season

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ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, they broke up?

Shogun Marcus

News to me. Saw her around not too long ago.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Also @BoS I thought there was news they split up like a month ago. I could be wrong.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Did a quick search and couldn’t find any news stories for them breaking up other than a couple of tabloid articles from October

Gratliff

Packers are going to have to suck a lot less if they want to be the world’s greatest heroes next week.

rockingdog

boom!

ballsofsteelandfury

Crazy that after sucking out loud for a half, the Packers are ahead.

Spur

Rodgers needs a little suck to get going.

Dunstan

Toughest thing about that play for Rodgers is that he has to avoid the embrace of several burly men. Goes against every instinct.

fleshwound_NPG

If it’s GB/NE for the Superb Owl, of the 60:00 played 34:42 will be spent on Rodgers/Brady dropping back and standing in the pocket.

Cecil Rhodes

That game will end 52-49. Neither team has a secondary that can cover anyone.

herodotus450

I keep seeing the title of this tab as “Your ‘Pegging Tom…'” and it’s really confusing the other tabs I have open.

Senor Weaselo

I suppose I spoke too soon?

The Maestro

That is fucking insane. Aaron Rodgers is a cheat code.

King Hippo

nice pocket, esse

rockingdog

big catch by adams. gotta punch it in for 6 now…..

Old School Zero

Bonkers.

Spur

Rodgers likes to fit it in small spaces.

litre_cola

Tight and dry ones?

Brocky

Julius Peppers is the most overrated player in the nfl

-packers fans in 2010

the Alpha and the Amoeba

To be fair, he was plying for the Bears, and they can make any player look bad.

Brocky

I’d argue his was better with the bears than he was green bay

More pro bowls and certainly more sacks.

Senor Weaselo

This game has turned from “defensive battle” to “offensive struggle,” correct?

ballsofsteelandfury

Looks like the Tumblr Mosaic Viewer has been updated. The specific link is NSFW, btw…

http://tmv.proto.jp/tmv2.0/#!/ourlittleflowers

Unsurprised

HOLY SHIT

Col. Duke LaCross

That is a lot of buttholes.

Spanky Datass

FUCKIN’ A! Love TMV!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d27b31df5086139b8e513571243d275a/tumblr_ocna97JrHC1syvjuco1_500.gif
Now everyone can stop using imgur … right?

Shogun Marcus

If you’re going to be ejected, just go.
“Ejection turned to arrest. 880 bucks thank you much.”

Horatio Cornblower

I once got thrown out of Fenway for fighting and honestly the staff and cops couldn’t have been nicer.

The other guys were shithouse drunk and the game had barely started.

Recovery Whiskey

Apparently Southwests pitch is “do something so bad you have to skip town?”

Unsurprised

90% of the places Southwest flies out of, you don’t need an excuse to skip town.

Horatio Cornblower

I love this “Fenwick” ad.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Jesus Christ, we’re not even in the top 15 fattest states. Were right around the average for the US

Brocky

Keep in mind that a lot of green bay fans “travel well”

I.E. bandwagoning and obesity are not negatively correlated

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Bringing that up will only make them and me make fun of the state more. And I live here.

Unsurprised

Not for long …

Shogun Marcus

Do the #pukepeople work on a flat rate or commission per puke…fiscal responsibility.

litre_cola

They get to keep anything they find.

JustStopDude

That was the most blatant intentional grounding I have ever seen.

Related, why do officials come together to discuss intentional grounding? When you think about it, that’s really weird because they are effectively calling the penalty AFTER the play is long dead. No other penalty is called like this.

Conceptually, its not the most difficult penalty to call, but its ALWAYS long after the play is dead that they then call it.

Dunstan

Serious answer — I think it’s because it involves three different questions, sometimes four: was the QB under pressure? was he inside the pocket? If yes, was there a receiver in the area? If no, did the ball reach the line of scrimmage?

Sometimes it takes more than one official to answer those.

JustStopDude

Here is what bugs me though, on all other plays, if the official thinks a penalty has occurred, they are suppose to throw a flag. It is decided then that no penalty has occurred, they can pick up the flag.

I’m being pedantic here and I apologize. Its just strange to me that this penalty is always called in a different fashion than every other penalty.

Unsurprised

He’s one of those X-Files aliens
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The Maestro

chicken enchiladas for dinner fuck yeah

Unsurprised

Now I’m going to have to make those for OSZ and ThePirateSloth next weekend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like McCarthy would’ve had the balls to go for it on 4th and 4 anyway

Old School Zero

Intentional Rounding: The Green Bay Packers Fan Diet

Cecil Rhodes

Landon Collins wants to be LT great…when it comes to being a coke addict.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not completely true. He wants he ability to pick up underage prostitutes too

litre_cola

Eli is scared.

Spur

Surprised that shove oob didn’t receive a flag

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like it laid a GB staff member out pretty well.

litre_cola

Is this the game where Montgomery disappears? I remember this season where I would play him and he would gain 3 yards. Bench him? 150 yards 2 TD’s

Brick Meathook

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rockingdog

Is there any evidence that we like talking to machines?

Old School Zero

I’ve yelled at my TV a lot. Sports, video games, politics… yeah. Lots of yelling.

Unsurprised

I can’t stand people, so … Yes?

King Hippo

HAI DOLORES

Unsurprised

Damn you, MTWV

Unsurprised

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Shogun Marcus

“Can you notify the puke people to come clean our section?” Section 347 #PukePeople

Old School Zero

“That’s cultural appropriation!” –bulimics

fleshwound_NPG

kickkake, but at least it might be a decent-ish game

Cecil Rhodes

Insurmountable lead!!!!!!!!

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Didn’t the Giant’s defense label themselves the NYPD? They know that means they save their brutality for the minorities, right?

Spur

White Receivers Lives Matter

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Equal opportunity excessive force?

ballsofsteelandfury

They’re in the wrong state for that.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

And there certainly aren’t any of those in Green Bay.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

You’d be surprised; we have sizable populations of blacks, hispanics, and hmong.

Spur

Eli looks like Rodgers? uh, ok Buck. Eli only plays doctor with girls.

ballsofsteelandfury

That was an awesome Eli reaction shot. That needs to be in Quotables.

Recovery Whiskey

Rumbledown

Unsurprised

Rodgers took the sack from behind

Unsurprised

God damn

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the Alpha and the Amoeba

I don’t get how that isn’t flagged. Such an obviously dirty hit.

Horatio Cornblower

“hi, we’re NFL referees; apparently we haven’t met.”

King Hippo

DAL just might be in a spot of bother, as the Brits say

Horatio Cornblower

Yeah, I’m sort of rooting for the Giants as I’m kind of tired of Rodgers’s act, but given a choice the smarter pick for Dallas’s opponent would be Green Bay.

Old School Zero

Eli, at last year’s Super Bowl: MOOOOOOOOM! It’s not fair that Peyton gets to be carried by his excellent defense to a Super Bowl win and I don’t! I WANT A TURN!

Olivia: Okay, dear. Let me see what I can do.

/months later

Goodell: Yes, Olivia, what I can I do for you?

Olivia: Eli would like to be carried by his defense to a Super Bowl win.

Goodell: I told you and Archie last year that we were making a special exception. You have no idea what I had to go through at those Klan meetings to get Cam shook up like that.

Olivia: We’ve covered this. Eli always gets a turn. He’s a special little boy.

Goodell: But–

Olivia: /takes a mason jar out of her purse containing a pair of severed testicles floating in preservative

Goodell: Hey, now–

Olivia: Do you want these back? Remember, you belong to us.

Goodell: Okay, fine. Consider it done.

Shogun Marcus

“Bike Team 4 is 10-8 with an ejection.”
Bike Team 4 > Seal Team 6.

Cecil Rhodes

So much grittiness in the GB special teams unit. Did the GM raid a local steel mill in the offseason or something?

litre_cola

Steel mill shut down years ago. It’s all gentrified now with cupcake shops and douchebag baristas walking around.

Spur

It’s the receiver’s fault, Rodgers balls are hanging in the air.

rockingdog

went to the LL Bean store today. That place is awesome. There is a massive fish tank inside the store.