Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”
Reid: “Yes, chef.”
JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”
Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”
JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”
JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”
JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”
Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]
Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.
Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!
http://portsherry.com/comics/2009-05-24-portsherry20.jpg
click here for dirty pictures
Apparently, Rodgers drew up that sideline pass to Jared Cook in the huddle. (the one that set up the final FG)
https://twitter.com/RobertKlemko/status/820818531914776576
He’s having fun like a—ow, who fires a tranquilizer dyh6hhtgv
EXCLUSIVE preview of Instant Hippo Thoughts: Fuck this shit.
Is he a KC fan?
Isn’t he a Broncos fan? I thought he’d be pleased.
http://gifsec.com/wp-content/uploads/GIF/2015/05/Im-going-crazy.gif
If the Falcons somehow managed to win the Superb Owl… would we have to ask if Matt Ryan is an ELITE quarterback?
He’d go from Pumpkin latte to Spiced Pumpkin latte
The most entertaining part of my evening is reading Chiefs fans’ complaints about how that holding call on the two point conversion was “bullshit.” I almost wish it WAS a bad call because the tears would taste better, but I mean, come on, he tackled Harrison by the throat.
I can kinda understand it from the perspective of knowing that the steelers get away with so much crap, it can feel unfair when the refs actually do their jobs.
still though, schadenfreude.!
JOKE TiME
Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the ladies pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
Lady 1: What’s that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn’t get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get that?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Lady 1: Doesn’t matter son, as long as it fits a camel.
The pharmacist faints.
That’s good.
Hello, Dadjoke.
I’m still present, and I’m still trying to debrief after all of that.
I’m in the same boat as you. That was…yeah.
HARF HARF COACH HALEY SEZ BEN CAN HAZ CHOCO TACO IF PEW PEW BETTER THAN TOM BRADY NEXT WEEK
So to recap, we had one game that did not really go at all like people expected, and one game that pretty much went exactly like people expected.
Where did everyone go? Tomorrow is a holiday that most Trump voters won’t observe.
I am continuing to eat that whole pizza I drunk ordered by myself and watching Sherlock. I am checking in still.
How’s the pizza?
/doesn’t watch Sherlock
Pizza is good. Like not in quality but I barely ate anything today and as I mentioned I am drunk so it is hitting the spot.
How’s Sherlock? I forgot to record it.
Still to early in the ep to tell you. Like a half hour in.
Keep me posted later
They’re comforting the forlorn goatfucker
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vtq9t08ktU
I’m waiting for the McDonald’s buy one get one free Big Mac commercials, but I guess they’re not doing that this year. Because Dr. King had a dream that a white man and a black man could share fast food hamburgers and pay less money for them… or something like that.
http://www.netwellness.org/healthtopics/aahealth/healthybodychart1.gif
I, for one, am enjoying the possible last time MLK Day will be a federal holiday. I’m betting that it will be replaced by Ronald Reagan’s birthday, when all channels will be required to air 24 hour marathons of Bedtime for Bonzo, Knute Rockne: All American or The Apprentice.
Two close games; your goats did not die in vain
Tell that to the goatfucker. He’s lonely now.
It’s been, uh, an experience.
Night.
Didn’t the Geico Caveman get a TV show a while back?
Someone on CBS thought it would be a good idea.
America’s most watched network. *
* Full disclosure: America is dumb as fuck but that’s neither here nor there.
That’s how we got Trump. I blame CBS.
Nick Kroll was in that.
http://d3uvnxurnb7idz.cloudfront.net/uploads/full_nick-kroll-caveman.jpg
Abc had it here for 6 episodes. Australia showed the whole season for some reason.
Chris Boswell looks like hes made a few people go missing after he set up a meeting with them on Craigslist
Neighbors always said he seemed like a quiet but nice guy. Kinda a loner. Used to kick stuff but thought it had to do with his job.
GO ATLANTA/GREEN BAY, AND TRY NOT TO HURT ANYONE ON GREEN BAY/ATLANTA, BECAUSE THEY WILL BE OUR LAST HOPE
I give up on the NFL.
They gave up on your when you ran out of money.
So now the Falcons are the last beam of hope? Yeah, see you guys and gals next year. Hit me up for any GoT and NBA coverage.
I have been looking for offseason quotables candidates. Perhaps I should check out this Game of Thorns.
trust me, its worth a gander.
even if fantasy isn’t your thing, even if the series is overrated, its still one of the best things on television.
http://i.imgur.com/omhCWPW.gif
So who does Belichick sell out to stop next week? Bell or Brown?
So… yinz all gotta root for the Yinzers now?
There’s always Plan C:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bU1QPtOZQZU
AFC is definitely meteor territory now
So in order for the Patriots to not make the Super Bowl, I have to root for the Steelers.
Or in order for the Steelers to not make the Super Bowl, I have to root for the Patriots.
Hmmm….
http://www.newparadiselaboratories.org/uploads/media_items/helen-hunt.original.gif
So, Green Bay from here on right? I don’t see Atlanta beating the AFC teams.
I gotta hope……
i gotta…..
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GO DIRTY BIRDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was ugly, but I’ll take it.
It makes me so happy to know that the Chiefs were so, so, so close, but came up short.
Alex Smith is used to that.
Let’s just say I hope yinz were trying to lull Grumblelord into a false sense of security.
“That was ugly, but I’ll take it.”
Many is the time I said that about my sex life during my 20s.
Oh fuck you Al, beating a depleted Miami team isnt an accomplishment
Of course NBC wouldn’t be bright enough to make the connection.
Whooo, can’t wait for that absolute dickstomping Pittsburgh has coming to them next Sunday!
Will the refs have to throw offsetting penalty flags every play?
Ok, time to start the Australian Open first round thread.
Well, the Steelers certainly beat the Chiefs at their own game: kicking field goal after field goal after field goal.
Fuck this day.
I’m not sure I want to live in a world where things work out for Todd Haley
This certainly presents a dilemma as to who to root for next week.
Meteor 2017: It’s Meteor 2016….PLUS ONE!
http://vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/9/94/Well_that_was_fucking_dreadful.gif
It was.
Also, Inbetweeners is the greatest show of all time
Big Ben letting the guys in the huddle know what evidence CANNOT be left behind.
Welp. That sucked.
HARF. Bald kickman is Killer B now!!
Have a LB cover the best WR in the NFL? Thats a bold strategy Cotton.
JESUS. That was a tough throw, that took balls to even make. Huzzah, The Ben.
Game. Blouses.