Chiefs GM John Dorsey: “Hey Andy, I called you into my office so that we might have a small chat before the game.”
Reid: “Yes, chef.”
JD: “Uh, right. Look, the organization has no issues with your results during the regular season. To be honest, I must say ‘well done!’.”
Reid: “As far as the steaks are concerned, ‘well done’ is not the best result.”
JD: “I’m so glad we’re on the same page here. The stakes are so much higher in the playoffs.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to add Steaks On A Plane to Netflix queue’] “Gotta agree with you there, chef.”
JD: “With just a little TLC I think you can get this team over the playoff hump.”
Reid: [thinks to self, ‘must remember to download (Don’t Go Chasing Chocolate) Waterfalls on spotify’] You’re so right, chef.”
JD: “Huh. Anyway, it’s very important that you go out there and battle. Battle really hard. You know what I’m getting at here? Embrace the battle”
Reid: “Sure do, chef. Sure do.” [mind’s eye fills with visions of Mario Batali making Mushroom Orzotto followed by Bucatini All’ Amatriciana]
Pit/KC– Hey, look at me-I’m cheering for the Steelers for the second time in 50 years. The last time? Last week. You see, if KC pulls this out a certain A. Reid (if it’s close towards the end of the game next week-highly unlikely) will commit some heretofore never-before-seen blunder that will sink the Chiefs Super Bowl hopes vs. the Pats. This is written in stone-DO NOT QUESTION IT. I’m a bit worried about the Chiefs wr wildcard that manifests itself in the form of Tyreek Hill. That kid has “early career Desean Jackson game-breaker before he got full of himself” written all over him. Between him and te Kelce they’ve accounted for 45% of total O yardage over the last six games. The Steelers have the firepower/balls to stick with the Pats and the Pats MUST. GO. DOWN.
Done. GIMMEE THAT THING THAT YOU GOT!!!
http://i.imgur.com/n3WaEma.gif
“The dreaded pump fake from Ben Rothlisberger!”
There are a lot of women that agree with that sentiment, Cris.
So, Trump takes office on Friday, correct? So what are the odds he sells the country to Russia on Saturday so that we can avoid watching either of these teams get killed by the Pats on Sunday?
2:1
He’ll gift Putin the Patriots so that ring Putin stole will become legitimate.
I’m okay with this. Would make them slightly less evil.
I’m pretty sure Trump is ignorant to the fact like he’s the guy Jaime Lannister sent into the castle to open the drawbridge and let the enemy into slaughter everyone.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/trump-s-and-putin-s-plan-to-dissolve-the-eu-and-nato
So basically, Cold War 2: Electric Boogaloo?
http://i.imgur.com/7YjYQ2F.gif
Definitely approaching that drunk threshold where one doesn’t really care about what happens if one snorts Xanax.
This game is gonna end up 16-15 so we never ask for a close game again
More like 18-16.
Though, I have a feeling Pittsburgh is scoring 7 this drive.
Please don’t humanize Alex Smith.
http://m.quickmeme.com/img/85/85e3da01d8dde43563c8d24b445e3a41af44484c209c8156b26d4154748a76ff.jpg
So based on tonight’s game, do the Patriots even practice this week or do they just rest up for Sunday?
They practice their end zone celebrations and smug looks.
They’ll watch the hidden tapes later in the week.
I know this isn’t a popular opinion but I think Travis Kelce’s fucking hilarious.
My favorite.
15-10. Two possession game!
I want to make a joke about this thing’s size without it sounding like an innuendo.
http://imgur.com/2vHVVOe.png
150 TOTAL yards AT HOME, and they are very much in the game. Fucking absurd.
TBF, there’s no way on earth an NFL player should have gone down faster than a gold digger in the Champagne room like that player that just got pushed by Kelce.
Floppers gonna flop.
Checking in from America’s wang.
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/4566/1022/320/AMWang.gif
HOW THE FUCK YOU DOING, BOYS?!
Otto’s Brain (rolling into the room): Hey, guys! Great game, huh? Say, is there a volcano nearby that maybe one of you can throw me into…?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqx5F5-8ees
Being played in the middle of an ice storm would vastly improve this game.
What about a big ice hole?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0v4sOvEa7AM
Well, the Chefs have given me no sign that they’ll overcome this insurmountable lead of the Stillers, so…much like Andy Reid’s plastic chair at the all-you-can-eat buffet, I’m done.
Later, Taters!
But Alex Smith just completed the longest pass of his career!
http://s22.postimg.org/6fe9nlbfl/24_Cute_Puppy_Gif.gif
Travis Kelce, still an asshole.
/fuck me, I just agreed with Cris
He’s just too gritty for you, you commie pinko!
why is alex smith
?w=620&h=414&crop=1
This is fine.
So eye black is like the institutionalize religion of the NFL: mostly useless but continued for the sake of tradition.
Fake Gronk derp.
To be fair to Kelce though, he probably wasn’t expecting the pass to travel that far.
“Black Nationwide” ad is less terribad than “Cornpone Nationwide”
But I still jump FOAR the mute button as soon as I hear the jingle start
The Nationwide musical ads are so fucking terrible.
(see above)
/Donks minds think alike!
♫ They’re stuck in my fuck-ing head. ♫
Zombo with the stop? ZOMBO WITH THE STOP!!
See, Ben, it’s no fun being pinned down somewhere you don’t want to be
Laveon Bark
So, does anyone think Seattle management will clue in that they’ll never win anything until they spend more than a 1/3rd of what the rest of the league does on an O-line?
They’ll have a bit of money to spend in the upcoming season.
Granted, it will likely go to DB’s and D-linemen…
Kam Chancellor is going to be wanting a new contract. Think he’s in his last year.
It’s good to want things.
Honestly, i’m not sure where their priorities are going into next year. If ET does retire, that D is going to be hurting.
Yes, acupuncture is BIZARRE, Cris.
Oh, wait. No it’s not.
My brother-in-law was a Chargers fan and is shuffling off to join the Chiefs. I’m hoping this game will convince him otherwise because SHEESH.
What a maroon.
http://i.imgur.com/ZnUnd.jpg
how could you join a DIVISION RIVAL??
/especially THAT ONE
It’s not a bad drive to take his kid to a game (he lives in STL) and I know that was a big consideration. I still can’t believe that KC has a team and we don’t. It’s mind boggling.
You should tell him about Otto Man and how that one Chiefs collapse a few years ago ended with him killing himself.
http://i.imgur.com/082GhBf.gif
But to be fair, BOTH these teams eat all the ass compared to DAL and GB earlier.
there should be MOAR HATE for this boring chucklefuck of a Chefs side
Give these dogs a football and we’d have a more exciting game than most of the playoffs.
Well, that failed miserably
https://vine.co/v/h3UVgQPjv9F
http://parade.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/cute-puppy-5.gif
The Cheifs have replaced Alex Smith with Kyle Orton. Nobody noticed
the lonely bottle of Jim Beam Black on the worn out sofa did
I’d say it’s more akin to checkdown Chad Henne
All week, analysts kept swearing up and down Alex Smith was a gunslinger now and more than a game manager. Those fuckers lied. Alex Smith is the same as he ever was.
when does Rick and Morty come back? Anyone know?
“Soon” is the best I’ve heard. That’s the way the news goes.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1588307/cute-puppy-o.gif
In tonight’s episode of “Things that have never happened before”: A receiver was overthrown by Alex Smith to the point where someone with football knowledge considered the pass uncatchable.
I’m going to bed. Later taters
https://media.tenor.co/images/f3fd2914f8db39338263dc7b657bcb43/raw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=laG7O1SWFiQ
I thought KC was supposed to be having a blizzard or something.
NBC really sold the NFL on that idea so they could eat into the ratings of the other networks prime time ratings
as it turned out…just kinda chilly! potato potahtoe
Don’t forget to mix Thursday Sky Goddess and Balls one (each), WCS!!
/another goddamned FG
//this is how the fucking Chefs get left alive week after week after week
This is a really good game of California Kickball.