2016 Quotables – Pro Bowl Weekend (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Man oh man — the NFL is cracking DOWN on Pro Bowl skills competition videos. Guess they want people focused on on the touch football game instead. Good for them, bad for Quotables as these feel like some real bottom of the barrel visuals. HOWEVA, if anyone can turn shit into shit-wine, I know it’s the ranks of the Commentist Party*. So go ahead and take a stab at this garbage. At least it’ll let me know if we should bother with this during the off season.

Also, I think the Colts’ Mariah (3rd from left, top row) is my favorite 2017 Pro Bowl cheerleader.


OBJ continues to make Quotables.
OBJ continues to make Quotables.

I understand this is called a Salt Bae.
I understand this is called a Salt Bae.

Now then, who want to party with Michael Bennett?
Now then, who wants to party with Michael Bennett?

::euphemism::
::euphemism::

NHL also had their All-Star Weekend, complete with skills challenges.
NHL also had their All-Star Weekend, complete with skills challenges.

I don't know if we know how to do stuff with basketball or not.
I don’t know if we know how to do stuff with basketball or not.

This was about the best WBB highlight I could come up with.
This was about the best WBB highlight I could come up with.

Not to be too west coast biased but here's the Cal WBB team with a post-practice dance session.
Not to be too west coast biased but here’s the Cal WBB team with a post-practice dance session.

* May actually become America’s leading political party in 2020.

blaxabbath
blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“His Facebook page says he ca suck his own dick too!”

-Announcer

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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Ref: “Save those moves for the Number 6 Dance after the game!”

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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“What does he call that? Tickling the pink bean?”

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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“And that is how each of you were conceived, despite your mother’s attempts to use birth control”
-Phillip Rivers

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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National Disgrace, Roger Goodell, fined James Harrison $15K for this excessive celebration.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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Any of these guys have a shot at playing in the NFL?

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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“WE! VOTED! TRUMP!”

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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Every one of those young ladies is used to groups of teenage boys shooting off around them, alledgedly.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

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The kicking net is going to be pissed that OBJ is cheating on him.

JerBear50
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JerBear50

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This is by far the most hockey I’ve ever watched when I wasn’t alone at a bar trying to pretend like I had a reason to be there.

Senor Weaselo
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ASS HERP—ow, son of a bitch Dok, that hurt!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

King Hippo
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Chelsea have now pretty close to mathematically clinched the title, only about 13 weeks out. Feel the Lesser Footy excite!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Kathleen Robertson is so amazingly slutty in that movie. Killer leather pants.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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I can’t tell if this is a scene from the Pro Bowl or an example of Michael Bennett getting patted down after trying to shop at the Foot Locker in Chip Kelly’s favorite mall.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
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Duck Creek Antique Mall has celebrated 22 years in business and is located at 3715 Madison Rd. in in Cincinnati, Ohio. It has been a great run, but due to circumstances beyond our control, Duck Creek will be going out of business August 31, 2015. We thank all of our loyal customers for their continuous patronage over the years.

I can only imagine why…

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Dead malls are fascinating.

King Hippo
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There is Lesser Footy aplenty for all to enjoy this afternoon!!

/shows self out

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
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Travis Kelce, seen doing his best impersonation of an Alex Smith forward pass.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Stay tuned for the sequel to Travis Kelce’s reality dating show where he attempts a foray into the NBA, “Rejecting Kelce”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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“Oh, sure, he’ll dance with giant pear-shaped creatures at the Pro Bowl…” – Lena Dunham

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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I finally understand Catherine the Great

Don T
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?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

The Colts’ Mariah has the smooth face and slight features of a serial killer’s victim

yeah right
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Kelce is forever chasing the latest viral craze.

Just ask his urologist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bloody Lethal
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Bloody Lethal

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Look at these two jerkoffs.

Game Time Decision
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Game Time Decision

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SFW Eiffel tower re-enactment? or what they want to do with Goddell?

Game Time Decision
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Game Time Decision

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Why yes, he did play basketball in college

sunrisesunrise
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Goodell really wants to fine someone for this. But even he can’t take the Pro Bowl seriously.

sunrisesunrise
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A standard mailbag submission or just a tip in the end.

sunrisesunrise
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UNC demonstrates their diversity with bookends.

sunrisesunrise
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The student manager may be having a seizure. I can’t really tell.

Beerguyrob
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Early footage from the “Predators 2” remake has apparently leaked.

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Fun Fact: “Predators 2” was a movie pitch for a Jerry Sandusky/Jared Fogle comedy that somehow didn’t get optioned.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
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“Take a mystery pill from Irsay’s magic bag” is the new game taking America by storm!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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I miss Up With People

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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“Big deal, I get down with a horse every night.”

–Mrs. Elway

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Live look in at full contact blocking in the Pro Bowl

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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This is just the female counterpart to Kelce’s other famous gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy
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JerBear50
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JerBear50

Got my white bread, honey buns and kool aid packs all ready to go.

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