So, Valentine’s Day has come and gone. And you, gentle kommentists, thought you were in the clear.
You did the dinner or the flowers or the candy or the whatever it is your girl loves. Or maybe you did all those things, you lover boy you. And your girl was looking at you with that look. That happy enough that “you’re gonna get the good loving tonight” look. You done good, son….
But don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cu1JMbSLPvc
Because I’m here to tell you there’s something you’ve overlooked. Trust me. A little later, we’re gonna talk about it.
–
Revenge Sports
Baseball’s almost baaaaaccckkkkk. Pitchers and Catchers are already in, position players will trickle in this weekend. My 2nd annual shitty prediction post will be upcoming in a few weeks, no doubt. Cubs and Red Sox fans will love me. Which is great because there’s nothing I love more than making those two fanbases happy.
College Baseball actually kicks off THIS weekend for many teams. My team’s home opener isn’t until next weekend tho. Jerks open up in Hawaii this week and didn’t take me. Dumb stupid heads.
The NHL is mostly unchanged since last week, if I’m being honest. Big game tonight between the Pens and the Jackets tho (7pm NHL Network), with only two points currently separating the two for 2nd place in the Metro, 5 pts off the pace of the Caps.
Otherwise it’s a very light NHL Slate tonight.
The NBA is what it is. I might watch some in May. I have no interest until it’s down to the Cavs/Celts and Warriors/Spurs. And I’ll have only marginally more interest then probably.
Why are they even still playing the regular season? Oh, that’s right.
That’s because it’s All-Star Weekend!!!!!!!!!!
NBA All-Star Game – East vs West
Yup, one more notch for Pat McCrory. Nice job, fucktard.
Tipoff: Sunday, February 19th, 8pm
TV: TNT
I really don’t know or care who’s playing, but if you care you can find out here.
NBA All-Star Weekend 2017 Predictions: Will Klay Thompson defend 3-point crown? (CBSSports.com)
Meh…can’t say I rightfully give a shit.
And in college basketball, the ACC will have at least one new coach next year. Thank Christ.
Mark, if you need help packing, or an extra pickup to get you out of town quicker, just holla’.
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Post-Valentine’s Day Vengeance
It’s all in the title, folks.
Sooooooooo…..tell me. What did you overlook? Why should you be worried right now?
I’ll tell you why…. Because you’re a stupid guy who doesn’t know shit about shit when it comes to women. Go look at those pictures up there again, only this time with the assumption you’ve fucked up and you’re gonna pay….eventually….
See what I mean?
Look, I know many of you think your girl is/was happy with your V-Day efforts. And some probably really are. But trust me, some are not. And some of you (you know who you are) totally tanked it and already know she’s gunning for you.
And that’s not even the worst part. Those situations can be somewhat predicted and/or mitigated. Or if all else fails…avoided (see ya in a couple weeks hon, I’m headed to Alaska to help tag water buffalo). No no, the worst part is all the girls out there who didn’t have boyfriends/dates for Valentine’s Day. They my friends, are the unpredictable X-factor this weekend.
But take heart because there could be a payoff if you’re also single yourself….
For you guys who are NOT single, go home right now and do something nice for YOUR gal in case she’s pissed. Hint: If she looks like this she probably is….
–
So how does one spot the Post-Valentine’s Anger? Well, it’s really nothing new. You’ve been seeing it since you were in grade school. You just never noticed (or cared) because you’re a guy. But remember this young lady? The one who sat behind you in fourth grade who didn’t get a Valentine from you and proceeded to kick your chair all day every day for 2 weeks?
Well, she grew up to be this girl, who now lives 3 doors down from you….
She also now owns a car and has a SHITLOAD more estrogen coursing thru her veins….
So as you can see, it’s important to not only spot her, but to know what type she is.
Type?
Yes, type.
Is she a Screamer? This we can live with.
Same with the Screamer/Gesturer. No imminent risk, just walk away.
The Hitter is to be respected, but really all ya gotta do is stay more than four feet away and be ready to move just in case….
But the Thrower, on the other hand, while not one to necessarily fear per se…..well, let’s just say don’t turn your back on her and back away slowly….
But weapons change the game. As is true with so many things, I suppose.
The Stabber is serious business of course, but really the defense is just Hitter/Thrower combined. Keep your distance and don’t turn your back.
Which brings us to the Shooter. Now you don’t need me to tell you that if this is your view….
You’re pretty much dead already. But at least that’s the last thing you’ll see. You can go to your grave knowing that others have done worse.
But if you’ve got some distance (and also are not trapped in a hallway choke point, of course), you’ve got a shot. In such a scenario, I do highly recommend the Babou defense until you find some cover….
It’s important to remember that where a girl lands on the scale between Screamer and Shooter depends upon a great many factors. Said level also frequently escalates, but rarely de-escalates. This seems simple enough, but it is important. If she pulled a knife on you once…..
Also….If it’s YOUR girl coming at you with weapons, my guess is either you’ve really fucked up or she’s crazy. Or both. Knowing you guys, almost definitely both.
Also very important to remember is that weapons can be hidden…
So if in doubt, frisk yo’ girl and act like it’s foreplay (and who knows? Maybe it is).
–
Angry Sexy
So if you’re out and about this weekend and you encounter a girl who looks like these, be wary of your surroundings on par with the above scale. Watch for weapons, of course.
But if YOUR girl looks like THESE….????
Where was I? Oh yeah….if YOUR girl is pissed at you?
Talk to her.
Trust me, she wants you to talk to her. And if you ever want to see this again….
And if you don’t want Easter to look like this…..
Yeah, but….
Just keep trying…..Because you want this next Christmas…..
Not this….
If all else fails and she won’t talk to you, suggest Sexy Boxing.
(meh, it was worth a shot)
((at least now she’s laughing))
–
This week’s tWBS original is a very special selection. Firstly, I love the Moon, and photograph it often, trying to get better at doing so. But truth be told, it’s rare that I get a shot of the Moon that I find remarkable in one way or another. Seen one Moon Pic (no not that kind) seen ’em all.
But occasionally, circumstance/timing and weather can change that. Anywhoo, captured on a cold January night in ’15, it’s a little over two years old.
It’s entitled -Mama Quilla- which is significant both to this entry (LOL) as well as to something which will be upcoming (I hope) from Mr. ballsofsteelandfury and myself…though only he’ll get that joke for now. But I give you the Incan Moon Goddess of Female Menstrual Cycles…..sooooooo…..WOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*Additional special hat tip to Mr. balls for his suggestion for this week’s TGISF theme. I was floundering for some reason or another this week. 😉
–
Hmmmm, I haven’t given you any depressing music to listen to yet, have I? That can’t be right, can it? Well, you’re not getting any, either. Time to be happy whether we like it or not….
So…..suck it.
Have a good weekend, folks.
Love ya’s
–
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHx6-ekmawk&ab_channel=cindyscott54
Those words don’t go together.
This one of the funniest things I’ve read on this site this week.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/268c5648462e041c26c224ad3dc0a136/tumblr_ogrovd5pIy1ss6i1no1_500.gif
http://s3.postimg.org/9mni9ktir/Zo_GDz_BR.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/4171fe00c724e597b41df7844dbf1ca6/tumblr_nb7lvinOHZ1snghrzo1_1280.jpg
Another remake of The Longest Yard?
It looks more like someone took the opening scene of The Last Boy Scout and built a movie around it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trfHP5LHVNY
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7017a57430a544e6fcc092cc0b1f400a/tumblr_oe6auu9GFu1tbcweeo1_400.gif
oh man, I know the scene but I can’t remember the name.
the one with the evil ice cream right?
The Stuff!
that’s the one, gracias!!!
http://s15.postimg.org/q51ai4op7/ju_SCWg7h.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9bb52a2b8753a776981e20dab070bf46/tumblr_ok2zxb9rgF1spnykgo1_1280.jpg
http://media.animevice.com/uploads/0/122/9611-yamucha_death_super.jpg
Metal as fuck.
Best line from this week’s “The Expanse:”
“Me crush ass to dust, bumpah!”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8c37e11b7b7a4b643a390f642323f660/tumblr_oai7hklv8J1umk4ogo1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/fe6914e2e1c8b624d1539c671dfd34d7/tumblr_oglhvoBniK1tr6ni8o2_500.gif
Sweet, sexy ankles…..
http://68.media.tumblr.com/47eb8934fa9f142ef4991438fc5360cd/tumblr_oicq99QOHG1ss6i1no1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/354df5c52fb4646df6ecd78c34c23f64/tumblr_ol900gNfkC1u501aoo1_400.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/937a9d3b84310bee78bde98772470717/tumblr_oihd4xd4mJ1qk6saio1_500.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8ecf15b8562fe5bbeb764567255a28ac/tumblr_og6v0gb3qJ1vjjjd1o1_500.gif
Moar Angelica Celaya, because she is FINE:
http://media2.whosaystatic.com/626353/626353_800wc.jpg
Watching Buddy Cole is making me feel better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ4oMe5bPIw
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6831f03bd5eede0a053c5d236cad547a/tumblr_o8jddpGBoy1s01qkyo1_250.gif
I just thought of a new genre called sumo rock. It’s just sumo wrestlers stomping around like getting into a sumo stance. And also playing instruments. They’ll sell ones of records! Maybe even severals!
Hakah Rock
What’s that? My roof is still leaking after I was promised that it would have been fixed two weeks ago? Oh, well, it’s about time you talked to my representative.
http://i8.glitter-graphics.org/pub/678/678198ofmyfss20w.jpg
BOLTMAN KNOWS LITTLE ABOUT ROOF REPAIR, BUT BOLTMAN KNOWS A LOT ABOUT HOW THE HUMAN CIRCULATORY SYSTEM FUNCTIONS, AND HOW DIFFICULT THAT CAN BE TO CLEAN OUT OF AN XXL JERSEY! OHHHH YEEEAAAHHHH!
Scratch what I said earlier, I did solve that mystery
the joke was how long I went without knowing
He is just some dude, possessed by the ROCKEN-IST, SHOCKEN-IST OLD ONE THIS SIDE OF YUGGOTH!
I’m just glad you learned something today.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/67ecbf78c1346e9ece041e60c85d6cad/tumblr_o2jvi81xZZ1rwi5dmo4_1280.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SGboEkGxIE4&ab_channel=EatPooAndDie
OK. No more depressing politics bullshit. I’ve been rewatching Constantine, and I forgot how fuckin hot Angelica Celaya is:
http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Angelica+Celaya+Billboard+Latin+Music+Awards+1psdXjT6gBvl.jpg
RIP George the Animal Steele, Lighting shit on fire in heaven now
http://s.mlkshk-cdn.com/r/20K8
Chewing turnbuckles for the LORD!
http://i44.tinypic.com/16j0he8.gif
Is that what you call them?
Turnbuckle pad I guess, because I think a turnbuckle can be any kind of tension joint that tightens by twisting.
but yeah that’s the commonly accepted name.
I was trying to make a cunnilingus joke.
hey man, ain’t no joke, that causes cancer
:large
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHfllwAUdIM
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view6/3908281/mini-me-humps-beyonce-o.gif
Who wouldn’t do that?
trump supporters would say they wouldn’t, because you know….lying
Just like no masters ever raped their slaves
“U can’t rape Property!
actually uncle steve, this fine gentleman from the state troopers says you can, so he’s gonna have to take you in for what you did to your sheep there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjjh9PML8tE
Fun fact: the brunette, Kate Micucci is from a little town to the North of where I live… and would probably not be welcomed there just for the contents of this video.
Fun Fact, she has a sex scene with Malin Akerman, the hot blonde from Watchmen.
The worst part about being alone is that it’s so easy to lose perspective. It’s nearly impossible to be pleasantly surprised or even just delighted by something or someone just because.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CY0Qjx5K53o
In case you felt the need to read about the responses to Shep Smith’s once-a-decade conscience attack: don’t. You’ll be a LOT happier that way.
That would involve going to foxnews.com, so nah, I’ll pass.
Not Shep’s actual statement, the responses to said statement. I keep wondering just how crazy people can get, and I am somehow surprised to find there is no bottom to this well.
No, I completely understand your original statement. I find myself much healthier if I avoid anything Fox News related.
Gotcha. I’m getting more and more depressed, because sooner or later, this madman is gonna get impeached, and then we’ll have The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Pence in charge, and shit will be not only evil, but truly weird, as well.
Nah. We’ll all get killed because these fucking assholes are too stupid to manage a lemonade stand. They’ll mishandle the first global or domestic crisis that hits us so badly we will all be dead. If we’re lucky.
From the Former Director of US Foreign Disaster Assistance:
https://twitter.com/JeremyKonyndyk/status/832616259598610432
But, hey, MEMES!
Humanity is too sick to survive.
How strong are the taeks?
I am definitely getting too drunk for this time o’ night.
Evening…..
GLOVES!!!!
Get it?
I do. Indeed I do.
I never did thank you for the inspiration. Not to mention one more fetish for women to now look at me like this about….
http://cit.h-cdn.co/assets/16/20/1463583340-britney-spears.gif
all good man, but let us not forget our patriot saint of sexy glove wearing…
http://cdn.resharelist.com/media/sexy-kate-upton-pictures-051.jpg
Oh, I bet the list isn’t that long… hey where’d you get a 4-foot parchment scroll?
http://media1.giphy.com/media/128RvI3CzjuXG8/giphy.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1d06fed69ae4ebd3a7495b7dc85e3ae0/tumblr_oigtl5FTio1ss6i1no1_500.gif
I’ll take a spiky bat, thank you.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/d43309ee3187e6cec55cf5994f901317/tumblr_nvyu14aq7m1qf5do9o1_250.gif
No front flips by the pool!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTTZ6qfOVSM
Hey all. Happy Friday and such.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/1f21b0e68134962a803958c913e5d2c6/tumblr_nqimc2G0pc1s5l5ggo1_1280.jpg
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9088d5a76c1bfe9f73cf4ce0a8421593/tumblr_o1ldceSbBo1qa02hoo1_1280.jpg
Slipped a finger up my butt.
For the ladies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aperQxsDio
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZX-sUGWt6o
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9e17774d42078a6d8641561c1a47476c/tumblr_nfxishmr0L1qzokaso1_1280.jpg
“I’m telling you now…”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4egm5U8Ud1qedb29o1_500.gif
Wu-Tang ain’t nothing to fuck with.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/3c73944c2265d8b8fd68dc10ddab0d51/tumblr_ogaaovJvfs1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b9eabecae7a66481804d1442764be751/tumblr_oefcdzToX71sraya7o1_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92I04DkMEps
This will be funny forever.
I feel terrible.
Is it?
A) stomach
B) headache
C) diarrhea
D) depression
Depression
I find that posting pictures of beautiful girls helps.
It usually makes it worse for me.
E) ennui
F) existential angst
G) you screwed someone over
H) OWIE IN OUCH SPOT
The thing i love about the new AFL Watch package is that you get Australian commercials. Those are fun just by themselves.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b4bde20ce0d7eebe8f7c733b712c1a15/tumblr_oglhvoBniK1tr6ni8o3_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a99b7125d5aa29df0bcf5526b7f7afd5/tumblr_oguosbVqlP1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ghtf7J2sDP0
Greetings folks!
Just wanted to give a weather warning.
We’re getting the piss knocked out of us by a storm and it’s heading East.
It’s an angry motherfucker.
You’re welcome.
I’m safely inside in my warm bed watching AFL. The storm can lick my taint.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/acaf4d2de99a65a999e045c3fb14315f/tumblr_ogur8q5nNU1tr6ni8o1_500.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/65efb73b430b2ad377f807a1aafb75cd/tumblr_nu9bncRUcA1qf9csoo1_400.gif