Your “Calm Before the Storm” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Kind of a quiet day publicly, as teams talk with players about mountains of green and all the gray they can slay. Tomorrow will be the same, as no deal can be publicly announced until after the start of the League year on March 9 at 4:00PM ET.

Still, there are some things on the go:

  • Today is the first day of free agency, and Washington’s GM, Scot McCloughan is nowhere to be found.
    • further fuelling speculation about where he is and what he did
This pretty much covers it all.
  • Bank of America is going to provide the $650 million the Raiders need for the Las Vegas stadium.
    • the NFL relocation committee is prepared to give a full recommendation to the venture
      • Everything’s cool on the Raiders website!
    • so, unless something drastic happens, you’ve got two years left to scratch the “Black hole” off your football tourism list
Like a caged rat entering a death maze.
  • Adrian Peterson is willing to give the Patriots a discount if it means a chance to finally play football in February.
Thanks for nothing, you asshole.
  • The ESPN headline says it all: “Chargers save over $19M by releasing D.J. Fluker, Brandon Flowers, Stevie Johnson”.
    • Because Carson deserves a clean slate, devoid of talent & victories.
  • Even though the Rams put a franchise tag on him, CB Trumaine Johnson might actually end up traded rather than resigned.
    • the tag works for both sides (for now)
      • it guarantees him a lucrative one-year salary, and sets the bar for a long-term deal
      • someone would have had to give the Rams two first-round picks had they taken him before the tag. Now, in a trade, that team can avoid ruining their next two drafts.

Finally, in “today’s reason to hate the Patriots”, Tommy Terrific has partnered with Purple Carrot to provide a $78 weekly version of his diet called the “TB12 Performance Meals”

Also, deflated balls & a Brazilian supermodel helped.
  • Allow me to inform you about the “TB12 Philosophy”
    • Whether you’re looking to maximize your performance on the playing field, get in better shape, eat more cleanly, or just want to enjoy the same meals that power Tom Brady’s championship-caliber performance, incorporating TB12 Performance Meals into your weekly routine is a step in the right direction.
    • The TB12 philosophy is focused on preventing injury and promoting accelerated injury recovery through holistic, whole-body wellness, incorporating exercise, recovery, and hydration & nutrition concepts like those expressed in TB12 Performance Meals.

  • You get two servings per meal, three meals per week.
    • So a week of TB12 dinners will run the average couple $156? That’s $624 for a month, and I have to arrange my other meals on top?


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Devils at Blue Jackets – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Flyers at Sabres – 7:30PM | NBCSN
    • Predators at Ducks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Trail Blazers vs. Thunder – 8:00PM | TSN2
  • NCAA tournaments:
    • ACC: Pittsburgh vs. Georgia Tech – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Horizon League: Final – Wisconsin (Milwaukee) vs. Northern Kentucky – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Northeast: Final – St. Francis (Pa.) at Mount St. Mary’s – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • WCC: Final – St. Mary’s (Cal.) vs. Gonzaga – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Summit League: Final – South Dakota State vs. Nebraska (Omaha) – 9:00PM | ESPN2

Every year, for Spring Break, I make sure students have assignments due the week before, so I have marking to do while the NCAA first rounds are on. “CAN’T GO SHOPPING DEAR; GOTTA MARK PAPERS!”

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCSUnsurprisedSenor WeaseloBrockyBeerguyrob Recent comment authors
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WCS

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The GitS movie is PG-13? What a load of horse shit.

WCS

Brocky

Also, WCS, on the subject of, “are there any black people in south dakota?’

its actually north dakota, same difference

Brocky

@wcs seamus

yeah, my computer completely spazzed out there, shut itself down. rebooted and it’s slow as hell now. gonna log off for the night, see if i can improve it, yadda yadda

WCS

Copy, understood. Maybe next time, and good luck with the CPU.

laserguru

laserguru

You’re not falling asleep are you?

laserguru

Youngest right was 2nd French horn for the San Diego Honors band orchestra.

laserguru

Apparently fisting your French horn is a common practice.

As a parent I was unsure of this.

Senor Weaselo

I believe it’s part intonation part not killing everyone around you.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I still have some SPONCH! from the DFO pub crawl.

Wait…

I still had some SPONCH! from the DFO pub crawl.

laserguru

I have been officially SPONCHed!

Senor Weaselo

All I’ve got is SBLOUNSKCHED!

Senor Weaselo

Dirk got to 30,000 points, and will celebrate by “3-pointing a bitch like [him],” whatever that means.

WCS

Senor Weaselo

Never to be confused with NWA.

Brocky

NWA you say?

Brocky

WCS

WCS

WCS

Brocky

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“I was raised on the diary, bitch!” will never cease to make me laugh.

Brocky

this whole skit had me in tears, i’m not even exaggerating

Senor Weaselo

Still one of the best things I’ve ever seen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Grilled cheese and hot chocolate and Sexy Harry Potter (the Magicians). It’s good to be home.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Brocky

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WCS

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Brocky

it looks like he’s trying to do the texas horns and failing

WCS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Woody Allen lays on how Gil’s present is bullshit a bit too heavily, but I still love Midnight in Paris for some reason.

Croooow
Croooow

NCAA, are you SURE you wanna give Gonzaga a #1 seed? Having a tough time putting away Saint Mary’s.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Fuck yeah smoothie time!

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Don T

Someone to whom I’ve been generating unimpeachable results forbids me to communicate directly regarding pending stuff. So I’m REQUIRED to use intermediaries whom everybody knows don’t deal with the work.
Yeah, I was a dick that one time, but I was right. And despite my overt willingness to own up to being a smartass, everyone said an apology was not necessary.
Point is: high school never ends.

WCS

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Mentioned early was Jerry Lewis.

On of the films I want to see before I die is the infamous “The Day the Clown Cried”. Lewis plays a bad clown who has run afoul of the Nazis government (He is not Jewish…just a terrible act). So he ends up at a concentration camp. The part of the camp has Jewish children. So against the orders of the guards, he entertains the kids, and ends up beaten numerous times.

Eventually he is tasked with leading the children to a death camp for processing and subsequently, gets gassed with them.

Film in 1972, which featured Lewis writing, filming, and directing the flick, it supposedly will never be shown because its so bad. There is a script online, which honestly is quite terrible, but this was a very rough draft. At the time, Lewis was in the height of his drug abuse, doing both uppers to keep up his filming schedule, and serious pain killers to deal with the numerous injuries he collected from prat falls over the years.

Here is the thing though…I don’t think its as bad as people believe it is. I honestly think its on par with “Life is Beautiful” which is basically the same fucking film, only Lewis tried to make it way sooner than Roberto Benigni. Even when Benigni’s film came out, there was severe controversy. Even Charlie Chaplin commonly referred to the fact that if he had knew of the crimes of the Nazis, he would have never made “The Great Dictator” film as the subject was just too difficult to approach.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Chaplin thing would be a tragedy. His speech at the end is one of the best ever committed to film.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Don T

I saw “Life Is Beautiful” and I liked it ’cause Benigni is the shit. (Tho I haven’t seen “Pinocchio” ’cause I fear the worst.) But suspending belief required conceding that the kid had to be the dumbest EVER. “In retrospect, it was not an amusement park, but a death camp”. Ugh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. My doc thinks I might have an ulcer. So fuck everything.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Anyone else get a prompt to update PokerStars tonight? Or is balls’ fly by night poker site cleaning out my bank accounts right now?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yeah, I ignored that but am at the table now anyway.

Brocky

I updated, just took a second

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

So after this tennis tournament I’m working ends I’ve got a week off. Considering a drive to Quebec City. Any Canadian DFOers recommend any good places to eat/drink/see?

litre_cola

Do you speak French?

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Barely. I survived the French side of St. Martin.

litre_cola

Well then head to Montreal and day trip to QC, your passable french will do well there. It is the greatest city in our fine nation. Scenery, women, beer, food, women.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

The Mrs and I might stop there on the way and Burlington on the way back. Or vice versa

BrettFavresColonoscopy
theeWeeBabySeamus

Go to Alaska. It’s Murrica up there.
/not from canadia so opinion doesn’t matter

King Hippo

I been to QC! With a Canuck ladyfriend who spoke Francais, and guided me through. Forget where I went exactly, but I loved it all. The old architecture is stunning.

Brocky

Not sure why I find this interesting, but apparently Jerry Lewis is still alive, while I assumed he had been dead for decades.

I legitimately had the same thought about Muhammad Ali, at least until the year like 06 or something, where his daughter was getting some recognition

litre_cola

Jerry Lewis is alive? The French must be pleased.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY LADIES!!!

Croooow
Croooow

Dirk Nowitzki now has over 30,000 career points. That’s pretty cool.

King Hippo

Holy shit, that guy on GT really IS related to Ironhead Heyward! I was just joking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Gratliff
WCS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

WCS

litre_cola

Anyone playin poke-her tonight?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d like to.
Anyone at teh tables yet?

litre_cola

I am tourneying it up currently

Brocky

i’m ready to throw down to go down

that sounded better in my head

WCS

Yeah, but, later. Too many mid-major conference championship games right now.

Senor Weaselo

Eventually. Smart Senor needs to edit and write. Actual Senor will watch Ice Giants-Ice Dolphins.

King Hippo

c’mon, Milwaukee. Do it FOAR the 8-regular season win teams everywhere!!

/one year, I hope a team goes winless then blitzes their conference tourney

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Rant:

Tennis sucks. Time Warner sucks.

/Rant

King Hippo

counterpoint: everything sucks!

Brocky

theeWeeBabySeamus

What up, dicknuts?

litre_cola

Winter part deux up here. You?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sunday apparently. I’m planning a silent protest at the golf course.

Senor Weaselo

Tanner Glass scored, yes, it’s the apocalypse.

litre_cola

He was awful when he played for the Manitoba Moose

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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King Hippo

I’d only pay to eat like Dreamboat if supermodel poon was part of the deal. smgdh

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

She seems nice.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

WHOOOO!!! Who else is ready to see the moves the Browns do?!?

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

And the 49er’s!!!!

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

You know the Rams are ready to make some big waves this season!!!

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King Hippo

I saw whilst drinking earlier that they have $102.4M in cap space. That will take some Factory-level ingenuity to fuck up.

Senor Weaselo

Challenge accepted!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Fluker, please feel free to give any of the Spanoi one of these on your way out the door.

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litre_cola

So if the Iggles sign Djax and Alshon I think you can insert the Kyle’s dad exploding in front of the computer meme for me.

WCS

Do you mean Stan’s dad?

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litre_cola

Thank you for your fine work WCS