Your “The Reign Of Error Is Over” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I think we can all agree he wasn’t that bad a quarterback. He lasted over 10 years (most of them healthy!) in a league where the average lifespan is a little over 3. He does finish #1 in most Cowboys QB stats, but the fact that he finishes tied with Quincy Carter for number of Super Bowl rings will always haunt his Hall of Fame eligibility.

Oh, and this:

And we all know that if Dak gets hurt opening day, Jim Nantz is working alone the following week.

NFL News:

  • All the Romo news is expected to be announced throughout the day Tuesday.
    • Since he was released at 3:00PM Eastern, CBS is free to make their announcement.
      • But please don’t bother Jim Nantz at Augusta; it’s not the proper venue.
    • This news means Jay Cutler is now the front runner in Houston, if they decide to hunt down a free agent.
      • The happiest guy in the world is “Macho Man” Tom Savage, who has had the job fall into his lap if that doesn’t happen.
    • Great line from Simmons’ site – “Old Cowboys never die. They just get network blazers.”
    • At least someone can find humour in it all:

https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/849284195948089347

  • The State has rested its case in the Aaron Hernandez murder trial. They are expected to pursue the classic “it was the guy I was standing beside” defence.
  • Best answer to the question: Can you understand an NFL playbook? Josh Dobbs of Tennessee – “I am a rocket scientist.”
  • Two interesting facts in a story about the Falcons’ new stadium:
    1. The roof may not be done in time.
      • The season opener the League wants between the Falcons & Patriots may have to be moved to later in the season if “Megatron’s butthole” (h/t BDD) isn’t finished on time
    2. NFL season schedules are due to be released the week of April 17th.


Canada 150:

April 4, 1949: Canada joins NATO as a founding member.

The North Atlantic Treaty was signed in Washington on April 4, 1949 establishing the North Atlantic Treaty Organization. This political and military alliance is designed to promote the stability of the North Atlantic area and to safeguard the freedom of its peoples, based on the principles of democracy, individual liberty and the rule of law. (source)

The creation of this alliance helps convince Stalin to end the Berlin Blockade (June 1948 – May 1949), proving the Western allies are not about to abandon Europe. A few years after its founding, NATO will be counterbalanced by the Warsaw Pact (1955), made up of the main Communist countries. The creation of these regional alliances will be one of the founding moments in the Cold War.


Tonight’s sports:

It’s the final week of the NHL regular season, so the jockeying for first-round opponents has begun. The NBA is inside 10 games left as well.

  • NHL:
    • Lightning at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Flames at Ducks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Oilers at Kings – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet West (AB,SK,MB)
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Pacers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Bucks at Thunder – 8:00PM | ESPN
    • Timberwolves at Warriors – 10:30PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
  • 2017 Ford World Men’s Curling Championship:
    • Germany vs. Canada – 9:00PM | TSN
  • WWE Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • the first live post-Mania Smackdown
      • ooh boy, Randy Orton on the mic.

I guess the only question is, will Nantz & Romo be better or worse than Buck & Aikman? LOW BAR!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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entropy

Katy Perry, much to her despair, I’m certain, has lost a lot of the respect I had for her….

http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/katy_perry/img/9(36).jpg
(fuck JJ Watt)

Porky Prime

You speak, of course, of the woman who willingly used to fuck Russell Brand.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: Russel Brand is Darren Rovell’s favorite celebrity.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

#russel##brand

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thick Mint beer tastes better with Samoas

Senor Weaselo

And now everyone’s gonna be pissed off.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo, poker.

Brocky

I was watching force awakens, and I switched to Spaceballs.

Force awakens isn’t nearly as bad as the prequels, but this feels appropriate.

entropy

Force Awakens was fun, but just like Rogue One, it feels like there’s an entire movie missing somewhere in the middle bit….suddenly, all the characters have new abilities and allegiances and shit that make no sense unless a LOT of time has passed without us seeing it or hearing about it, on-screen.

Romonobyl

I bet they regret killing off the wrong original cast member. Those death lotteries sure can be a gamble!

entropy

No shit. Who could have guessed that the manic-depressive addict would die in real life before the guy begging to be released from his contract?

Porky Prime

Rogue One was really expensive fan fiction. And that can be entertaining too, it just felt like someone put a bunch of Star Wars books in a database and said “construct an immediate prequel to the original Star Wars with an expendable cast.”

I was really invested in Force Awakens’s new characters until Poe disappeared for an hour and the movie turned into a greatest hits package.

OR…maybe these movies aren’t for the old farts like me anymore.

Either way, I liked both, didn’t love them, and the prequels were worse, but at least felt more like Star Wars, if that makes sense.

Romonobyl

I’m sure I speak for the entire class by expressing my undying appreciation for the comment edit option. Especially with this pesky head cold.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So one of my idiot relatives decided to start talking shit to me today about U*NC’s National Championship. Considering she’s a Walmart fan (as are most of my family I’m ashamed to say) and has no skin in the game, that really kinda pissed me off. Especially when she called me a hater. There were some bad things said then, I can admit it.

Seriously, go enjoy your ill-gotten spoils if you want, but don’t come talking shit around me unless you wanna hear the truth about the shit school you couldn’t have gotten into if you’d tried, but which you still root for to pad your self-esteem train wreck.

Easter Sunday egg hunt for the kids will be very awkward now. Ask me if I give a shit.

entropy

(is completely unaware of when to shut up)

So…… uh….. do you give a shit?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I do….not.
But I’ve caught an earful from the rest of the family who have heard about it so far.

And like I’ve told all of ’em, better for her (and the rest of you) to learn right now when to STFU around me.

entropy

Well, yeah, there is that

Brocky

Sounds like the time my fundamentalist relatives tried to shit talk about tebow’s “success” following my criticism of him.

hurting the feeling of insecure one uppers is fun

King Hippo

You should have just set her house on fire. Or better yet, her.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll just wait until Easter and ask her to volunteer to play Jesus.
(Suuuurreee….those nails are fake)

Senor Weaselo

I believe that’s Good Friday. And in that case, it’ll be a Very Good Friday for you.

Senor Weaselo

On a related note, I think I know your TGISF theme for next week!
/Sacrilicious!

Brocky

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King Hippo

If you believe hard enough, surely He will heal you??

Spur

http://i.imgur.com/gSABviz.gif
He’s a goddam STAR!

Spur

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Unsurprised

/BODY COLLAPSES INTO A HEAP

Spur

bunch of haters
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Brick Meathook

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entropy

Elizabeth Olsen has no time for our bullshit:

http://www.theplace2.ru/archive/elizabeth_olsen/img/f4goeuu1.jpg

Shogun Marcus

Me neither, but I was told there’d be cake.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who’s got cake?
(evening gents)

entropy

What’s up brother?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Already with the complicated questions, huh?
😉

entropy

It’s what I do.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If the answer isn’t “MAH DICK” I don’t know you anymore.

Romonobyl

I could go for a little yellow cake.
– Kim Jong-un.

Unsurprised

Sexy thighs and thigh-highs

Brocky

hi

entropy

Yo.

Spur

Nice resting bitch face.

entropy

“Awwww, don’t you have the cutest opinion I disagree with?”

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ballsofsteelandfury

Are you all aware what month this is?

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Spur

I bet she doesn’t shut the fuck about her job.

Romonobyl

Very true, and I’d love to take a peek inside her dishwasher…
That’s a funny looking spatula!

entropy

According to T S Eliot, the cruelest one?

Shogun Marcus

I thought that was her screen name. Bold choice going with a headshot was thought two.

Romonobyl

Damn, I thought I had a shit job…
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LemonJello

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entropy

Hey yo everybody, how’re ya?

I watched Rogue One last night, and while I really enjoyed it (I am not a Star Wars fan, so it takes a lot for me to like one of these movies), it has some serious problems… but also manages to show us how and why the Empire was so damn scary in the first place. However, it does criminally underuse Mads Mikkelson, which is usually unforgivable.

Gratliff

Rogue One exists to give us the Darth Vader as Jason Voorhees sequence. In this, it does its job very well.

entropy

And I did enjoy that sequence, but it seems like Gareth Edwards wanted to tell a serious war movie set in the Star Wars universe, and kept getting reigned back in… I’d LOVE to see whatever he originally intended to make.

LemonJello
Gratliff

CG Leia looks waaaaaaaaay more realistic on the small screen.

entropy

Yeah, that was a cringeworthy effect.

Spur

What about Mrs. Spur?
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entropy

She was fantastic, although her character has one of the most sudden mood shifts in the history of movies, which is saying a lot… she goes from ‘I don’t care about any of this” to “HERO OF THE FUCKING REBELLION, BITCHES!!!!” in like twelve minutes.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am hoping this announcing job he took is just a smoke screen to get the team to finally release him and tomorrow he signs with the Texans and calls Double J a cocksucker for backing out of the handshake deal to release him earlier after 13 years

litre_cola

Evening all, how are we all doing? What are the odds on a Romo comeback? Will the Dallas media ask for a comeback after every Dak fucks up?

JustStopDude

Not only will they pine for Romo to come back in that scenario, they will immediately eviscerate him for doing so if he listens and comes back.

litre_cola

As an Iggles fan I support these actions.

JustStopDude

I know I have said this before, but I am utterly amazed that NFL players don’t routinely shit all over sports media and fans in general.

Its fucking unreal what both groups expect out of athletes.

LemonJello

“No comment.”

-Najeh Davenport

LemonJello

The correct term is: “Dakashima Disaster”

Unsurprised

Thank you

Romonobyl

That never happened after Aikman retired!!!

-that always happened after Aikman retired.

Shogun Marcus

You mean still happens.
/packer fan, can totes relate.

...

A player on the Cardinals was hit by a pitch, then hit by a throw to second, then hit on a throw home. He is now face down on the field.

Romonobyl

Is that what they mean by “three strikes and you’re out?”

King Hippo

He did, finally, STAY DOWN

...

I believe really old timey baseball rules allowed you to put out a runner by pegging him with the ball, so actually two outs.

King Hippo

SHEEEEEIIIIT, I grew up playing neighborhood ball by them rules. You take one between the shoulder blades trying to beat out an infield single, you remember that childhood memory…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Attention Snow and other beer drinkers: guess what I found at my local liquor store despite not thinking it would make it out west?

LemonJello

I’ll have to see if I can find some of this around NoVA.

Unsurprised

—BODY—
CREAMY, HEAVY

Hey! Who’s been looking at my Tinder?

LemonJello

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Dubble J: “What’ll I do without my gott-damned star?!?”
*Accountant whispers inaudibly*
Dubble J: “That much? Put it in the strippers and blow account!”
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Dubble J: “YEEEEEHAAAAAW I AM STILL FUCKING CRAZY!!!1!!!1”

Brick Meathook

Need more head protection
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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“…”
-Junior Seau

LemonJello

“Tony Romo retired? But I love his restaurants!”

-Emmitt Smith

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Goddamnit, I’ve been trying to frame the perfect Tony Roma’s joke and you just toss the right one out there like it’s nothing…

Romonobyl

Remember this guy? Well, he doesn’t either.
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King Hippo

“Is that the Trent Green guy everyone keeps laughing about?”

– Trent Green

LemonJello

“I don’t remember those alternate jerseys.”

-Troy Aikman

LemonJello

Tony tries out a new look for the booth
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LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

Romo has some outrageously good career QB stats. He just never won the Super Bowl (yet), which puts him in some pretty good company:
-Jim Kelly
-Dan Marino
-Don Meredith
-Sammy Baugh
-Hank Aaron
-Winston Churchill
-Marcus Aurelius
-Trent Dilfer
-Gumby
-Jesus
-Secretariat
-The Verizon Guy
-Jimmy Stewart
-Mother Teresa
-G.I. Joe
-Secretary of State Dean Rusk
-The Little Rascals
-You

Romonobyl

Turkey’s done!

...

She…

*distracted*

She seems…

*distracted*

*distracted*

King Hippo

Some of the other 12 guys on Jesus’ side were shit, ppl forget that

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Just aspirated some beer. Nicely done

Romonobyl

You know who else didn’t win a Super Bowl?

LemonJello

Stalin?

King Hippo

Stalin wins every Super Bowl. Strong leader!!

Romonobyl

Little know fact: Mother Teresa would have won the NFC Championship in 1978, but she couldn’t complete a Hail Mary.

JustStopDude

Believe it or not, but Trent Dilfer did actually win a Superbowl.

The first one the Ravens won where he perfected the “hand the ball off and shut the fuck up” offense.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

GI Joe had The Fridge. His weapon was a football on a stick. In retrospect, his weapon should have been diabeetus

Duchess

False the Fridge was a GI Joe and he won the Super Bowl

Romonobyl

I’d pour some out for my namesake, but I have a cold so I’m drinking hot tea…I don’t think that qualifies.
At least he didn’t go to Arizona, where old football players go to die.

Unsurprised

Motherfucker was driving a Lambo to practice in Tempe. My heart doesn’t exactly weep for him.

LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

You see enough of these, and you wonder how he’s not more busted up.

King Hippo

He takes these gifs on a jump drive whenever he needs to refill his Slurpee cup full of oxy

LemonJello

Fun fact: Trent Green just uses a laminated 3×5 card with his name and address so people can help him get home most days.

King Hippo

I AM TRENT GREEN AND SO CAN YOU!!

Unsurprised

It’s 2017. You’d think that they’d have microchipped him by now.

Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

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Poor Jen seems distraught by the news.

JustStopDude

For the life of me, I don’t get Cowboy fans that hate on Romo.

I seriously don’t. Their beefs about him are on par with the nitpicking usually reserved for commentary on *cough cough* URBAN players.

The dude QB’d behind some utterly garbage lines. Play through fucking batshit crazy injuries. I say this as someone with a fused spine, I don’t know how the fucking Romo was able to walk his last couple of years. And last year, he could have pissed, moaned, and turned the situation into a fiasco and instead he handled it with poise and respect.

I seriously hope he walks away. Whether he is garbage or not in the announcing both, the dude deserves to spend the rest of his days relaxing and slamming pain killers by the fist full.

Gratliff

Remember how half the Eagles fans were cheering when McNabb left like he was what was holding them back instead of maybe the only reason they were competitive in the early aughts?

JustStopDude

I do..but also remember…this is Philadelphia…

They want a statue of a boxer…Joe Frazier…fuck no…let’s go with the white movie character…

Unsurprised

Fuck Philadelphia.

SEVEN MINUTES!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3jMhoGUiIkk

LemonJello

He can’t be any worse than some of the chucklefucks and the oral diarrhea they get paid to spew.

JustStopDude

Seriously…I think Romo could accidentally drop the F-bomb and people would be okay just so long that we didn’t have to hear “JEEEEEEEEEMMMM” over and fucking over again.

I still cannot fucking fathom that Phil fucking Simms was CBS’s top color analyst.

litre_cola

“Simms was coloured? No wonder he got fired.” – C. Kelly

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

His real name is Antonio Romo, and he is just another example of them ANKER BABEES TAKIN’ OUR JERBS!

Unsurprised

For the life of me, I don’t get Cowboy fans that hate on Romo.

Cowboys fans are fucking idiots.

LemonJello

She seems fun.
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Unsurprised

Between her and Nikki Cox before ruining her face, the first two seasons of Las Vegas were watchable when I had nothing else to watch.

Gratliff

So RAW ended with Goldberg giving a killer speech about how much he loves his son and why it was the motivation behind his last run. His son responded thusly:

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LemonJello

Did he immediately pick the little shit up and drop him with his finishing move?

Gratliff

I like to think he speared him as soon as they got to the back

Shogun Marcus

Romo? Moar liek PROMO NOW AMIRITE?!!
/sees self out
//dies in a fire

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

*Good one

Spur
Spur

There’s a tear in my beer.
Bye Romo
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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello
Unsurprised

Good evening, and fuck everything. I hate the world.

LemonJello

And what about puppies? You can’t tell me you hate puppies.
http://www.pbh2.com/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/cute-puppy-gifs-cute.gif

Unsurprised

I do

King Hippo

I’m also mad that Everton lost their late 1-nil lead at Old Trafford to a stupid fucking penalty.

/at least it wasn’t a bullshit call

LemonJello

What is the windswept moonscape, Wichita?

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If Hippo has crawled out of his self-induced pill coma yet, this should at least bring him a spark of joy: https://sports.yahoo.com/news/four-north-carolina-fans-were-burned-by-bonfires-while-celebrating-145537012.html

King Hippo

GOOD!!! I hope their lips burn off and their finger skin makes children at the grocery store cry.

LemonJello

Yesssssssss.
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