So whose it gonna be? Whose luck finally runs out when the Browns turn in their draft index card thingy?

Is it going to be Myles Garrett, the three-year star out of Texas A&M, who averaged over ten sacks and two forced fumbles a season? The 6’4″, 272-pound nightmare fuel who ran a 4.62 40, benched 33 reps and had a 41-inch vertical jump? I mean, for Bleergh’s sake, that leap was fourth best overall at the Combine, beaten by two defensive backs and a wideout. This dude is productive in both testing and live-fire games. He’s been the consensus Number 1 pick since January by everyone other than clickwhore contrarians who are trying to stand out in the oversaturated field of “draft experts” solely by being controversial. Is that enough for Cleveland?

Or will it be Mitch (not “Mitchell”- you’ve been playing for too long on a national stage to try to change now, goober) Trubisky, the not-quite-consensus top passer in this year’s class? A couple of weeks ago, the rumors started spreading that Cleveland was actually fixed on Trubisky and might not be willing to take their chances that he falls to their second pick at #12. The man has a big arm, good accuracy (completing 67.5% of his passes in a pretty rough ACC) and the calm demeanor that Cleveland sorely needs in its signal caller. His one full season of action had him throwing 30 touchdowns to only 6 interceptions, plus 5 rushing touchdowns. He’s also a local boy, so it would be like Hoyer Country, but with more actual talent. Plus, you have the Sashi Brown-Paulk DePodesta statfreak front office, whose models almost certainly assign a greater value to a halfway-competent passer than to a top player at any other position.  So is the possible performance and PR boost enough to make Cleveland reach a bit to ensure they get their quarterback of choice?

All I know is that both players are probably praying with all their hearts that the other one’s number comes up. God help them both.

Just kidding. They are not going to take either- early betting puts “Trade The Pick to New England for Magic Beans” at 9.5 to 1