25 Questions About…..

ballsofsteelandfury -
96

shaving your genitals. Let me back up for a second.

On last week’s AFL Beat, I may or may not have mentioned that I would shave my balls early if the Geelong Cats lost to the Gold Coast Suns.

As you may have surmised,  even though I didn’t do an AFL Beat this week and THERE IS A PERFECTLY GOOD EXPLANATION FOR THAT,  the Cats lost. By 25.

So,  I had to take care of business early.  You may have…. questions.

1- Am I the only one that shaves his balls regularly?

2- Do you know that there is that cream available that makes your head shiny if you’re bald?

3- How much money could I make if I invented one for balls?

4- I mean,  who can turn down a shiny sack?

5- Wouldn’t that be a great example of the carpet matching the drapes?

6- Or would that be a case of the VCT matching the Venetian blinds?

7- Was that too obscure of a construction reference?

8- At least,  once you shave,  you don’t have to worry about smelling like cuy, right?

9- Was that too obscure of an Archer reference?

10- Do you,  like me,  hesitate to shave in the shower because you miss spots?

11- Why don’t those fucking shower mirrors EVER WORK?!?

12- Would you ever use a mirror to help you shave your balls or would you go by feel?

13- Wouldn’t you be worried about catching a peek at your asshole?

14- That can’t be pretty,  can it?

15- Aren’t you happy I haven’t included any pictures in this post yet?

16- Does anyone else think Nick Miller is the best thing about New Girl?

17- Was anyone as surprised as me when I discovered on the plane back from Spain that New Girl added Megan Fox?

18- Is anyone else laughing at that subtitle like me?

19- Am I really that out of touch with TV shows?

20- Isn’t Teddy from Bob’s Burgers the absolute best?

21- There is no way in hell Teddy shaves his balls,  right?

22- Aren’t you proud of me that I made it this far and I haven’t done anything to piss DTZM off?

23- Or HAVE I?

24- You know if I get kicked out,  tWBS takes over these and they get WAY dirtier,  right?

25- You’d probably like that,  wouldn’t you?

 

 

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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[…] the St. Kilda Saints beat the GWS Giants handily, would you believe me?  Or that I would have to shave my balls ahead of schedule because Geelong couldn’t beat the awful Gold Coast Suns?  In case you […]

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/funny-pictures-auto-545984.jpeg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH SHIT; NSFDFO!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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THANKS OBAMA!!!

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Bloody Lethal

Also I watch so much Bobs Burgers and New Girl for Teddy and Nick Miller. I unfortunately enjoy the movie Let’s Be Cops.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, that movie was great! Mindless and stupid, but great!

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Unsurprised

25- You’d probably like that, wouldn’t you?

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litre_cola

I am on shower shave team. Just Helen Keller yourself to see if you missed any spots.

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Bloody Lethal

I also brush my teeth in the shower. Because this stuff requires a cleanup anyway. Just do it in the shower.

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Unsurprised

Oh, God. You don’t piss in the shower, do you?

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litre_cola

No. That is when i stretch before the shower.

2
Bloody Lethal

There was one time after a surgery that my painkillers made me extremely constipated and I drank down a bunch of metamucil to facilitate. The problem was I wasn’t expecting it to take effect so quickly and all of the sudden… My cousins and I used to joke that when you crapped in the shower you should just act like the drain was a spaghetti strainer and just do the “twist” on it. I don’t know which cousin came up with it, but on that day I knew finally that it was based in truth.

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litre_cola

Yep. Same. Anything i can do in there at 5 am to save time except the morning deuce is in play.

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Bloody Lethal

Shave time.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.buro247.kz/thumb/700x390_5/images/header_chalen_l_instant_ad.gif

Lot easier, cheaper, way less time consuming to use duct tape you stupid fuckers.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Rebuttal!

http://img.izismile.com/img/img4/20110518/1000/funny_shaving_techniques_05.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://media4.giphy.com/media/nZRKrvgTsPXyg/giphy.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://cdn.gifbay.com/2015/05/shooting_star-173786.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why isn’t one of the tags “TMI”?

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Unsurprised

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

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ballsofsteelandfury

Didya cut yourself?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sounds like he got a good look at his own asshole for the first time.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The WiFi at YYZ sucks harder than Def Leppard

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Game Time Decision

the only thing that sucks more than the Wifi there is the stupid lines to get through security.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/funny-pictures-auto-864730.jpeg

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Daydrinking, writing for DFO while watching girls on skateboards and bikes out the window….and Always Sunny reruns on in the background.

Life is good, gentlemen…life is good.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Charlie’s a full on rapist. Hehehe….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I also shave the armpits before de-forestation. Tis like a personal napalming. Very refreshing.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m not sure how weird I think this is yet. I’ll get back to you.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

When I lifted a lot at Gold’s the body builders were always shaving everything and sticking needles with ‘roids in their butts or between the toes. I tried to frequent the locker-room there as least as possible.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3gmyg86VC1qciafbo1_500.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

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nomonkeyfun

Question germane to the readership.

How does one shave ones balls if one has the shakes?

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King Hippo

VERY carefully. Duh.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://cdn.gifbay.com/2013/07/deal_with_it_macgyver_edition-69729.gif

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theeWeeBabySeamus

1. drink, drink, shave
2. repeat as necessary

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Blood and scabs; chicks LOVE ’em!

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Electric razor. With one of those hair-length guard dealies.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.funnycatsite.com/pictures/funny_shave.jpg

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Don T

Use a butter knife and a towel for uh… discharges.

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King Hippo

Teddy is a bad muthafucka. I have no idea re New Girl.

Nobody likes a forest down there, and even when one exits the dating/fucking scene, one gets used to de-forestation.

Not a fun process, though.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not so fast on the “nobody.” The hairless generation.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://static.fjcdn.com/gifs/Gross_c1461c_2636675.gif

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laserguru

How can the drapes match the carpet if you’ve removed the carpet?

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nomonkeyfun

Hard wood flooring upstairs and down.

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laserguru

And sacrifice my bald spot?
Never.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You’ve got a bald spot on your pubes? Ummmm….cool…?
And also…..ewwwwwww.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s worn down there; it’d grow back if he’d stop…….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://ww4.sinaimg.cn/bmiddle/6927e7a5jw1e7iu7uanbqg209306qhdw.gif

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/v-for-vagina.jpg

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SonOfSpam

Shaving your balls? You guys don’t pluck?

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The Maestro

Unlike Mike Pence, I feel no need to repent for possessing a set of genitalia.

1
SonOfSpam

As long as you refer to your wife as “Mother” then no need to repent.

Also, referring to your wife as “Mother” is creepy serial-killer behavior.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m more of a Nair man, myself.

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King Hippo

Raider Nation digs they short shorts. And one can’t have stray pubes peekin’ out, , smh.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You, apparently have not seen Raider Nation; the braids stick out of the shorts.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Plucking becomes impossible if one wishes to maintain.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

20- Isn’t Teddy from Bob’s Burgers the absolute best?

If one reads ISoG as being Teddy and Louise on a quest…its much funnier. Well, it’s funnier.

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ballsofsteelandfury

You’re obviously Louise and that therefore makes me Teddy.

I’m ok with that.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sure I don’t know what you mean….
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theeWeeBabySeamus

24- You know if I get kicked out, tWBS takes over these and they get WAY dirtier, right?

I’m becoming increasingly concerned about the reputation I seem to be cultivating around here. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to go find 30 or so sexy photos to post tomorrow night.

5
Enrico Pallazzo

2- Do you know that there is that cream available that makes your head shiny if you’re bald?

Just stick it in the Shine-o Ball-o.

6
Game Time Decision

30 second mark….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dckMK8J8Mk

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blaxabbath

YouTube has some great videos of Steve Harvey hosting funny Family Feud moments.

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The Maestro

Shower mirrors work fine, but you gotta get the ones that have a little trickle of water run off the side of your shower head to use as anti-fog help. I’ve had the same one for fifteen years and it’s worked like a charm the entire time. Also, shaving your balls in the shower is the way to go, especially if you have one of those little sit-down stools and some tunes on in the background. Make it an occasion!

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ballsofsteelandfury

What is this Canadian sorcery you speak of?!?

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The Maestro

One of these bad boys.

comment image?odnHeight=450&odnWidth=450&odnBg=FFFFFF

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ballsofsteelandfury

1- That is genius and where can I buy one?
2- Where is LCSS so he can do some quality Photoshops with that image?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Gives new meaning to the phrase “Please black box the asshole, LCSS!!!!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.heapsoffun.com/pictures/20110618/ugly_birds_aa101.jpg

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The Maestro

Walmart apparently has ’em. I don’t remember where mine came from.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

3- Do they make a longer connector so it will go as low as Balls’s balls hang?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.rogueturtle.com/articles/images/shaving3.gif

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