Your “Yay! Bad Things DO Happen To Bad People” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

• HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • The opening of the new joint Rams and Chargers stadium in Inglewood, Calif., has been delayed until 2020.
    • Unexpected rainfall this winter has slowed work on site excavation & foundation preparation.
      • Per the L.A. Times, water at times stood up to 12 to 15 feet deep from all the rain this past winter, causing the site to resemble a “lake” during the excavation period.
  • They’ve clearly accomplished a lot since yeah right‘s last visit:

• Taking into account what the esteemed Dr. Bundchen has to say, the NFL will investigate the three angles apparent in this story:
  • Did Brady suffer a concussion?
  • Did he hide it from the Patriots?
  • Did the Patriots hide it from the League?
• Alex Smith smells what Andy Reid is cooking, and it’s his 2012 Niners season covered in BBQ sauce.
  • “This is a completely different coaching staff and a completely different team,” Smith said. “I think I’m a much different player… I get it, right? If any of us were the GM, this in my opinion might be the most important position in all of sports. You’d be crazy not to be stockpiling talent.”
• For reasons unbeknownst, PFT chose to report the Hamilton Tiger-Cats have the CFL rights to Colin Kaepernick, Johnny Manziel and Robert Griffin III,
  • Perhaps shits & giggles? Florio’s too caffeinated to be bored.
• Not exactly the kind Jim Irsay was looking for, the Colts signed draft pick Malik Hooker to his rookie deal today.

Finally, stealing from Crimebeat!

• Browns 6th round pick Caleb Brantley had his battery charge dismissed due to a perceived inability to secure a conviction.
  • The Browns public statement is full of what you’d expect from a team that took flak for signing a guy who appears to smack women:

Caleb understands that we have an expectation and standard for every member of our organization.He’s a talented-young man with a great opportunity in front of him. Caleb must grow as a person from this situation. He is now able to move forward and focus on earning a spot on this roster.

• Michael Floyd’s “extreme DUI” probation was transferred to Minnesota from Arizona, after its brief stop in New England to pick up some jewelry.
  • He was sentenced in February to 24 days in jail and 96 days under house arrest.
    • He served the in-custody after the sentencing, and was looking to transfer the remainder of the 96 days to Minnesota.
      • the terms of the house arrest allow travel to & from work only.
  • He is still facing punishment from the League for the personal-conduct policy violation.
• The masturbating Chargers security guard pleaded guilty to performing a lewd act in public.
  • It was Elite masturbation, because he worked for Elite Security, and I really wanted to use the word “elite” in a non-Flaccian way.
  • He was sentenced to three years of probation and counseling.
  • He will not have to register as a sex offender.

Your Irsay/Kroenke/Spanos inspired song of the day comes to us from 1991 & Ugly Kid Joe.

So, because I’m on a couple of NFL mailing lists – Packers, Seahawks – I get the odd notice informing me that as a VALUED PARTNER! I’m eligible for certain offers available before the general public.

The Seahawks sent me one today, informing me that my season-ticket holder status affords me the privilege of an early opportunity to purchase the ability to host my fantasy football draft at Century Link Field.

It sounds like an okay idea, until you click through a couple of links & see the price:

Uh-huh.

FYI: That’s the price of one seat (near the roof; in the corner) for a whole season. But they want me instead to shell that out to sit in an empty stadium with seven friends and eat stadium food that’s been in a freezer since early-January, all while debating the merits of Ameer Abdullah versus Devontae Booker.

Verdict: Buffalo Wild Wings will give me a corner booth for free!

Tonight’s sports:

• NHL:
  • Ducks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
• Baseball:
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Braves – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Yankees at Royals – 8:00PM | FS1
  • NCAA:
    • Kentucky at Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN

Not that I need to convince many, but still – GO PREDS!