Your “Scoring Is Down But Celebrations Are Up!” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Cortez Kennedy died today, age 48. No cause of death was announced.
    • I just remember him eating people up during the 90s, when blackout rules meant Seahawks or nothing on Sundays.
    • He is one of 9 Seahawks in the Hall of Fame, although that number also counts famous Seahawks like Jerry Rice & Franco Harris. He is one of four Hall members who played the majority of their career with the Seahawks.
  • Speaking of the Hall of Fame, the “Concert for Legends” lineup, brought to you by Ford, has been announced.
    • It appears the Hall has decided to go full-#MAGA.
    • In case you can’t restrain yourself, all price-points are still available!
      • Ticket prices: $45, $60, $80, $99, $130, $180, and $230.
      • Premium and Club Access seats are available for $100 and $185, respectively.
    • In its third year, the Concert for Legends series previously featured Aerosmith in 2015 and Tim McGraw in 2016.
  • The weather delays plaguing Stan Kroenke’s construction schedule have cost him Super Bowl 55, which will now move to Tampa.
    • NO WAIVER FOR YOU! It shows real faith in the LA ability to get things up & running on time.
    • LA will instead get Super Bowl 56, which was supposed to be Tampa’s.
    • No word on what Greek squatter Dean Spanos will do in the interim.
  • Cowboys DL David Irving will miss the first four games for a PED violation.
    • The issue stems from a supplement Irving had a marketing deal with.
  • The Westgate Las Vegas SuperBook has released odds for all 32 teams to win their respective divisions for the coming season.
    • In case you’re wondering:
      • Best odds: Patriots: 1/14
      • Worst odds: Browns: 80/1
      • Long shot with a shot: the NFC East & AFC South
        • both divisions are essentially “pick ’ems”
    • Among the attractions to the non-smoking Westgate, the Superbook encompasses 30,000 square feet and offers more than 300 seats, and has the largest indoor LED video wall in the world, measuring at 220 feet long and 20 feet high,

Finally, rule changes!

  • Overtime is now 10 minutes.
  • Teams will be allowed to bring a second player back from IR.
  • The initial cutdown from 90- to 75-man rosters prior to the last pre-season game has been eliminated.
    • Teams will now go from 90- to 53-man rosters after the last pre-season game.
      • Making the last pre-season game a sure-fire donation to charity for any season-ticket holder.
  • Celebration rules have been relaxed.
    • Group celebrations & snow angels” will be allowed.
    • Offensive demonstrations & violent acts will still be penalized.
      • So, no throat slashes of full-McCringleberry’s


Roger Moore died today. He was 89.

He was the James Bond of my youth. I grew up on his Bond films, which were always a family viewing occasion around the Beerguy household. My old man would bitch that he wasn’t Connery; my mom would wistfully agree he was no Connery.

I loved his films because they put as much emphasis on the travelogue aspect of the movies as the double-entendres.

And his stunt work was proof of his preference for verbal rather than physical prowess.

    

Of course, I also found his conquests to be similar to my prurient interests.

       

So, in honour of him, I shall have martinis at dinner.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 6: Penguins at Senators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
      • Pens up 3-2.
  • NBA:
    • Game 4: Celtics at Cavaliers – 8:30PM | TNT / TSN3
      • Cavs up 2-1.
  • MLB:
    • Giants at Cubs – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Blue Jays at Brewers – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
    • Cardinals at Dodgers – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • It’s the Jinder Mahal era now,

  

ALL HAIL THE (Canadian) MAHARAJAH!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
275 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

Also, Famke Janssen acted the shit out of her role as Xenia.

comment image

comment image

Unsurprised

I like this, even if it’s not from Goldeneye.

comment image

Unsurprised

I was going to just ogle Barbara Bach after doing a google image search, but I think it’s unfair for Moose to share all the Famke Janssen gifs but none of Izabella Scorupco (Natalya Simonova, the “good” Bond girl in Goldeneye). To be fair, there aren’t many, even though there’s a crotch shot of her when she and Bond are in Cuba.

comment image

Unsurprised

comment image

RT @xmasape: “Kevin Love just needs better receivers”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This truly wonderful Roger story from @marchaynes is soothing my aching soul. ? pic.twitter.com/DM7zhybLrs— Ken Shabby (@MrKenShabby) May 23, 2017

//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

comment image

blaxabbath

How could Jerry Rice have played for Seattle? Or did he come back to a sign-day agreement to appear with Seattle for their inaugural game in 2012?

Fronkenshteen

Are married men allowed to give back rubs? Discuss.

laserguru

Of course but I believe it involves state vs Tarantino rules where it’s only acceptable when applied to the spouse.

laserguru

Just to clarify.

Fucking work, man!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qM0zINtulhM

Brocky

So am I wrong in assuming that a “game seven showdown” in pittsburgh just sets the stage for a “heroic” comeback for the penguins, you know, the defending Stanley Cup Champs who shouldn’t be going to game seven in the semi-finals in the first place.

Rant over

Unsurprised

Maybe. Maybe they’ve just gone to shit.

Unsurprised

1) I wish this was the director’s cut, but beggars can’t be choosers. I’ll find it again.

2) I like how the Mexican civil war b-roll in the news clips (Those and the commercials are fucking awesome) is supposed to be Acapulco, is actually the muj in Afghanistan.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Kevin Bacon got repaid long ago, though. So it’s all good.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So if I am doing my math right, the investors will get like 10% back after 8 years if they settle soon, and that 10% gets eaten more the longer this goes on and it seems like they are going to last another 10 years

Unsurprised

Sounds about right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

“You’re a scumbag, you’re client’s a scumbag.” — Robocop is a great movie.

Unsurprised

FUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK

Now that was a cliffhanger ending.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Toonces, no!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Wow.

Fronkenshteen

Getting banged up after work. Kayla (FIT!!) is running the bar. Watching Kershaw stymie Hippo’s most glorious Cardinals de beisbol. If we get enough drunks, I may suggest a spelling bee! Those are usually a hoot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

I nearly did a spit take, you dick.

Nice work.

Unsurprised

Is he still alive?

JerBear50

He died a couple years ago. I kinda hoped he’d find a way to take Sandler with him as revenge for the Longest Yard.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*take Sandler with him as revenge for any of the Sandler movies.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

The one on the left looks like Miguel Ferrer.

Unsurprised

This scene was so uncomfortable I had to get up and pace past my couch for a minute.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So both Brooklyn Nine Nine and The Flash had the same “cliffhanger” that they both used the last 3 years. Neither of these shows need a season ending cliffhanger. Why does every show have to do one now knowing it will be normal by episode 1, or just have 2-3 shitty episodes and then go basically back to normal.

King Hippo

I don’t watch The Flash, but am quite tired of Nine-Nine doing this.

Unsurprised

I haven’t even seen B99 in two years, and hated that they had a cliffhanger when I stopped watching because those always get resolved immediately upon return. And in future airings or streaming it always comes off as desperate and stupid when you have zero intermissions. This trope should’ve died in the 80s with the Very Special Episode.

JerBear50

I’ve been MIA for the last week or so. Did I miss another Sill’splosion?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s just say there was activity on “another internet platform” which I refuse to use any further for this endeavour. But I would like to talk to Sill privately. And nicely, sincerely.

I hope he’ll reach out.

JerBear50

Oh, gotcha.

JerBear50

BTW, haven’t seen you in a bit. Your boys are the closing act for Clearwater Jazz weekend again this year. https://www.clearwaterjazz.com/

theeWeeBabySeamus

That sounds like a very attractive fall road trip.
I might have to look into those dates a little closer.
Thx foar the heads up, man.

JerBear50

It’s a cool venue. Waterfront park just before the causeway out to Clearwater Beach. I saw them there a few years back and just saw JJ Grey out there a couple months ago. And gate is usually free, or at most like $10. Unless I change shifts that should be my weekend off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

I’m no dentist, but he might need a dentist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BUT you did sleep at a Best Western.

*Check for lice, man.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Please, sincerely….no one reply to this comment. It’s not the time to fuck around with this, please.
—–

Sill,
Please…use it. It can’t make things worse. And if there’s a chance to make them better, isn’t it worth the shot?

If nothing else you can call me names for a while and feel better and I won’t say a cross word back. That’s not something I usually offer people, fwiw.

[email protected]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

comment image

She was so hot in that movie.

Fronkenshteen

How z’boys?!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Friendly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

JAYSUS!

Unsurprised

Yes! The Americans is up. See ya in an hour.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

That is one of the better “Damn it, he’s getting an erection!” faces tho.

Unsurprised

Bob had bitch tits.

The Maestro

GAME SEVEN FOLKS WOOOOOO

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t been this happy about a road trip to Pittsburgh since the abortion episode in Brockmire.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That doctor was funny as fuck.

JerBear50

I just watched that two nights ago. The closing scene where he beats the shit out of the guy over Joe Buck had me full on crying, curled up laughing on my couch harder than I’ve laughed in a long time. And my first thought was, “oh goddamn, I hope everyone at DFO saw this.”

King Hippo

I need to add that to my summer binge list, on a day when I am extra suicide-y/bored

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hines Ward likes this show.

JerBear50

Do it. It’s really fucking dark and funny as shit.

King Hippo

Who’s feelin’ a Game 7? Thursdays are good luck, too…

Mr. Ayo

CAN’T WAIT

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another Hippo favorite actor.
comment image

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Goddamnit, Moose

theeWeeBabySeamus

The mood around here tonight seems….interesting.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102011/1319738930_homer_simpson_hides_in_hedge.gif

/happy he didn’t do it this time

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The around here is weird.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well-played.
Jerk.
LOL.

The Maestro

5 mins to go in the third and I’m about ready to shit a dick here.

King Hippo

Let’s face it, the Cup belongs in Canadia. Not Tennessee, where the locals will prolly just scratch they heads and try to figure out how they’s supposed to go about fuckin’ it.

LemonJello

Only cup that belongs in Tennessee is the Winston Cup.*

/not counting all the dip spit cups those rednecks keep around

Gratliff

Also, a cup for your chew when visiting the in-laws.

EDIT: Fucking idiot me falling over myself to make the joke halfway through reading the comment

King Hippo

I still recall my racist grandpa’s spit cup (Chattanooga Chew?? or something like that was his brand) from when I was a kid. That thing was truly horrifying. Worse was when he would drive us around, and he would open the door to let a gob out on the pavement at red lights.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No way; we need redneck racists peeing in the cup.

Redshirt

I have never seen one James Bond movie. Is it worth seeing one?

Gratliff

The big ones are. Live and Let Die, Goldeneye, Goldfinger, etc.

Unsurprised

Goldeneye isn’t as good as the game. Well, the girls are really cute, but the game is a much better use of your time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t think you’d enjoy them, but they are free.

JerBear50

They’ve never done anything for me. I grew up during the Dalton/Brosnan era and I’ve tried watching some of the earlier ones as well. The only one I’ve ever really liked was Craig’s Casino Royale.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t like the Brosnan ones when they came out; but now I can watch them on the tv box and enjoy it. They are about as silly as you can get for that much of a budget.

JerBear50

Exactly. I remember watching the beginning of the Brosnan one and it was just the most over-the-top ludicrous action sequence you could imagine.

Redshirt

Ah, California is falling into the ocean. Now here’s something we all can support!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nope; I like the state. But yeah, redneck stereotype attitudes; the new thing.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was just on that highway a week ago.
Ha, missed me again god. Better luck next time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have driven down there a few times; fucking love that drive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*did love.

JerBear50

Is that the same highway HST wrote about flying down on his Vincent?

Mr. Ayo

And lo, there was a thunderclap. And across the land a booming voice was heard. “Challenge accepted”

theeWeeBabySeamus

god has yet to take me up on my repeated offers to have a li’l chat.
He skeert.

Senor Weaselo

So if you’re Rick, who’s Morty?
/Oh god it’s me isn’t it…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9aUowoykENE

King Hippo

Last thing you wants is to make them AZ assholes instantly 10x richer overnight (oceanfront property). Plus, having driven from San Jose to Yosemite National Park was almost a religious experience.

What used to seem “loony” now seems like an isle of reason compared to what the rest of this fucked-up country is up to. Seems like business is booming there, too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep.

blaxabbath

10x richer would suggest a certain level of existing richness. You aren’t last-ish (pick your metric) in education when you’re rich.

Unsurprised

AZ’s rankings still outshine New Mexico’s and the entire South’s.

scotchnaut

Sens doing okay despite the fact they lose every fucking faceoff.

scotchnaut

Another Sens goal wouldn’t hurt…

Gratliff

Now that all the Senators I used to hate are gone, I suppose I can actually get behind this for real.

blaxabbath

This is how inhooe to feel about the upper chamber once 100 of its current members are replaced.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooops