Your “Man, OTAs Are Boring!” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

NFL Notes:

  • PeyPey has been contracted by Riddell as a “consultant” on their new helmet designs.
    • First order of business – more head room!
  • Jeremy Maclin, still visiting the Bills.
    • Maybe he was waiting for Shareece Wright, so he could take the kid’s Uber back to Chicago.
  • Dennis Pitta’s injury-plagued career is over in Baltimore, as he was cut days after a third hip injury.
    • He gets to keep his bonus, and the Ravens get $2.5 million in cap space via the move.
  • The Jets tank for 2017 is officially over the $60 million in salary dump, after dropping David Harris and Eric Decker.
    • Estimates for 2018 have the Jets $68 million under the cap.
      • J-E-T-S…SUCK! SUCK!! SUCK!!!
    • the problem is, the Jets don’t seem to have anywhere near the cromulent upper-management the Browns possess.
  • Again on the subject of laughing stocks, it seems Megatron only handed back $1 million of the $3.2 million the Lions could have asked for upon his early retirement.
    • ESPN twists the knife properly by adding a Barry Sanders reference.

Finally, the NFLPA is under the belief about 160 rookie contracts have improper language and should either be voided or changed.

  • Language in dispute includes:
    • Clauses that require players to submit to multiple offseason physicals at the team’s request — more than the two that are permitted under the CBA
    • “Automatic repayment” clauses that allow teams to directly withdraw money owed for expenses such as fines, services and tickets from players’ paychecks
    • Language that forces prospective free agents to secure permission from their current clubs before their agents engage other teams in discussions during the pre-free agency “legal tampering” period

However, given the toothlessness of the NFLPA in other areas, it remains to be seen how seriously the League – and ol’ Rog himself – will take the matter.


Wanna meet the new puppy?

That’s a stupid question.

His name is “Lambeau”.

The name is a compromise. When he was born, the breeder gave each dog a coloured collar for ID; his was green. My wife & I both quite enjoy sports. We’ve been to Green Bay for games twice. My wife loved/s both Favre & Rodgers. I talked her down from a QB name to the stadium.

He gets to keep his balls for two years, because we are going to show him. And before you ask,

I will post photos of me doing my best “Best In Show”, because I’m his handler.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NBA:
    • Game 3: Warriors at Cavs – 9:00PM | ABC / TSN
  • Beisbol:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Futbol:
    • FIFA U-20 World Cup
      • Semifinal: Italy vs. England – Thursday 6:50AM | TSN
  • American Ninja Warrior
    • NBCSN – 7:00PM – 11:00PM

Game 5 in the Cup should be both a barn-burner and a nail-biter. I guess after 4 days in Smashville, Sidney Crosby needed an extra day to drag his arse back to Pittsburgh. TAKE YOUR BEATING LIKE A MAN!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Croooow

At least the game was competitive this time.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going to drink 15x the recommended alcohol now. Then play like 3 hours of just grinding in FF7

Brocky

Then play like 3 hours of just grinding in FF7

http://www.seo-chicks.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/fuck-yeah.jpg

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I played 10 hands, my balls were stuck on the chair for most of them. still ended up 7k up

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Don’t brag about taking my money when I’m still conscious

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I honestly couldn’t find the cap for my diet coke then, it rolled under the couch

WCS

Even for Cleveland, that was pretty damn Cleveland.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am already drunk. I am going for pantsless poker for 10 hands If i win they will not come back

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not gonna lie, I’m kinda impressed by the brewery scene in Indy.

Shogun Marcus

There is a lot of it. However, if you don’t do milktooth we can no longer speak cordially. Bring people, order everything.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Where was this recommendation before I agreed to a breakfast meeting elsewhere tomorrow?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I miss Zymm I hate I might have scared her off. Normally one of you will do that

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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JustStopDude

Poutine is gross….

WCS

Well, that guy was obviously caught masturbating in the frozen food aisle of a grocery store.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sorry, was stealing Milwaukees Best Ice 30 packs without pant’s after entering the cooler from from the side entrence

Shogun Marcus

You’re wrong, but thanks for playing.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I want to hate my dad for all his awful stuff, today he is just a guy who broke the springs in his chair with his fat ass. We are all family some days.

Fronkenshteen

THESE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS I CALL THEM CATHOLICS AFTER CHURCH BECAUSE THEY’RE GETTING ALL THE ROLLS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Giving a minor alcohol. I’m sure there is more to the story.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

She gave all the kids alcohol at her house that has an outdoor hot tub. Never got overtly pervy with any of the kids but was found passed out next to a 15 year old that was driving himself home.

Horatio Cornblower

Nailed it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Fronkenshteen

[raises glass]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/aDmGLQZ_700b.jpg

Not sure why; this one looks like straight up murder.

Horatio Cornblower

Looks like Hope Solo so, yeah, probably a murder rap.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think this woman is prettier….. so maybe she got arrested for a misdemeanor, but murdered deviously and they have no evidence.

blaxabbath

Nah man. That’s the mugs shot of the first ever TS using a women’s bathroom while still being legally listed as a man.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else getting shitfaced in Indianapolis tonight?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You pick the worst city in the already worst region that I live in, so no

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t pick where I go for work

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Doktor Zymm

Probably. If I did happen to find myself in Indianapolis I would first try to get the hell out of Indianapolis, but failing that shitfaced is a fine option.

Horatio Cornblower

Just spent the evening drinking beer and explaining the history of the Electoral College and 2nd Amendment to high school students.

Frankly I think the Federalist Papers would be improved with a few more judicious insertions of the phrase “motherfucking batshit stupid idea”, but that’s just me.

Doktor Zymm

Is it weird that I think that actually sounds like a pretty kickass evening?

Horatio Cornblower

Certainly memorable for the kids.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think every law would be improved by adding that. and a “It’s 2017 only, if you fuckers stand still on this forever you are morons”

Also hi Zymm and Horatio, don’t trust me, I am drunk

Senor Weaselo

They figured the swears would mean they’d throw away their shot.
/Aaaaand that’s my Hamilton ref of the night!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hot mugshots are not as depressing….. but also not as funny.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I will now play guess the crime

She was drunk. Forget her kid at a Dave and Buster’s. Ended up passed out naked in the parking lot of a bar where she was hitting on a 17 year old that looked like some celeb she knew and actually ending up with a 23 year old fat guy that left her in the trash

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll go with the blonde was trying to make a few extra bucks selling loose joints while bartending. She’s not happy about being arrested but knows that her Dad golfs with the DA so she’s going to get off with a fine and a ton of shit from her parents.

The brunette started out with a couple of rum-based cocktails, progressed to Jager shots and just woke up three towns over while getting processed, sans shirt, in a police station for actions that, while violating several statutes and most standards of common human decency, she has no memory of.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Blonde had a bag of weed that she showed to the officer. Only got arrested because she told him she had a b/f after and only gave him a blowjob in the alley behind the bar.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think you have good story lines here.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If you assholes don’t come back to entertain me soon I am going back to FF7 where I am wasting at least another hour stealing Shinra Beta’s from the one room in the game that has enemies that have them to get a perfect game

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If any wee babies are around, I joined the poker table. There was one that hinted early he wanted to play.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am going to steal this, and use it more often than it is relevant

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am rewatching the first Xmen movie in the first time in awhile. It isn’t actually good. Patrick Stewart and Hugh Jackman have a bunch of good scenes that save it while the rest of the cast is not great.

Redshirt

That pretty much describes any X-Men movie.

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, Moose, is today a Florida Man day?

Redshirt

Watching “Lucy”. Movie is stupid and I think Johanssen realized that because she’s using the Robert Beltran acting protest of showing no emotional range at all.

Also, if a person gets 100% control of their brain, they die, because they won’t be able to control their autonomic functions.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If no one in power believes facts I am sticking with them. 100% brain use gets me telepathy and telekinesis. Also cures all diseases for no reason.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I apologize in advance. I know you are one of the only right leaning people on here, this wasn’t a pile on, just a stupid joke,

Redshirt

No I’m pissed at them anyway. Pile on. I’m convinced, the GOP needs to die and be replaced anyway.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Stupid Obama. If he had only made those death panels.

Redshirt

Stupid Hillary. If she didn’t just assume she’d win.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Stupid DNC, if they hadn’t forced her down our throats

Spur

More like Rascal Fats,,,,

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spur

“Hookers in Russia” is my new FF team name

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am pretty sure that is legal in Florida. Wait, was she drunk? It is illegal sober.

Horatio Cornblower

Her ex-husband was helping her drive while she shaved her genitals to meet her boyfriend in Key West?

How does a magical relationship like that ever end?

Spur

This feels like College Gameday. Fuck, i hate the ESPN NBA coverage.

Spur

I bet Michelle Beadle is next world kinky in bed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A repost, but I love the finish line ritual.

Spur

“that thing.” Trump did for Comey
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JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She’s PISSED.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Is Cleveland nice in the summer?

WCS

The only season Cleveland is nice in is nuclear winter.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Does urine and gasoline smell better when it is heated to 90 degrees?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For the asshole I just waited for:

http://i.imgur.com/pVaDhG0.gif

Gratliff

Skips the part about tapping each bumper to make sure you’re in.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, why aren’t you talking about parking anymore?

herodotus450

“honest loyalty”, love it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sorry, you don’t get out of life that easily. It will still be here tomorrow.

Senor Weaselo

We’ve met with a terrible fate, haven’t we?
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Redshirt

I couldn’t tell if Trump wanted him to do him favors or do him “favors”.

herodotus450

Any tiny chance that trump knows what he’s doing is long gone after reading that, assuming it’s for the most part true. The end really seems like trump was clumsily trying to get comey to incriminate himself.
Wait, the date on that document is June 8…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He may be stupid, but at least he is completely unethical.

Redshirt

The Warriors sweeping the Cavs in Cleveland would be the greatest act of revenge since Inigo Montoya introduced himself to a cop.

Spur

Evening Folks. The Owl has landed in Vegas. I’m here to stay for the time being. There is jack shit on TV and it’s 105 outside. I think it’s too hot to drink. Let’s hope the Cavs can make the game competitive.

Are we liveblogging tomorrow’s Comey testimony?

herodotus450

That depends on what your definition of “are” are.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

If we do are we rooting for blatantly lying under oath, somehow trying to backtrack everything he said or just listening to him read what he already put out with no chance of consequences for anyone because Trump just keeps firing everyone in charge of charging him?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

herodotus450

Stoops out at Oklahoma?

Spur

and Mack Brown in?!

herodotus450

Thad Matta to the Cavs?

WCS

Rex Ryan to the Houston Gamblers.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I joked about the name but my first reaction was “How can I get my dog to meet this dog? He looks awesome. I bet they would have so much fun together”

scotchnaut

/watching The Outlaw Josey Wales

Sandra Locke (32 years of age at the time) is playing the part of a much younger girl next to Clint Eastwood’s character. For me it comes off as all kinds of icky.

/btw, despite the fact that the shotgun she fires knocks her back 2/3 steps, she’s a perfect shot

//Where are you, my precious suspension of disbelief?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That chick always creeped me out no matter what she was in (usually Clint Eastwood associated, of course).

scotchnaut

I’m not going to look at her imbd page to confirm but i’m guessing that the majority of her major roles had something to do with the fact that Clint really got off on her saying, “Fuck me harder, Daddy!”.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I did. She had like 20 roles in 30 years, all of the top 4 “known for” that get posted are Clint. I didn’t click into every movie to see who was in it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, she turned me on too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

That is the name of the Collie from the neighbors next to my mom that made her want to move, and made the people on the other side of her already move. He sucked for a first round pick but how about “Hawk” as a name. Or go back a few years “Sterling” or “Sharpe” from the same dude

theeWeeBabySeamus

Rob, if your dogs ever end up….I think the legal term is “missing”….I didn’t do it.

King Hippo

The summer sucks ass.

I will probably DVR the U-20 fixture, because at this rate, DCL and Ademola Lookman may be Everton’s best attacking players next season.

Just fucking kill me now, God. Quit being such a dick about it.

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This made me laugh.
(no ofence Hippo….LOL)