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Your “Cold As Ice Cream But Still As Sweet” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

/

, ,

Game 6 in Nashville highlight’s tonight’s menu. It’s been a good tilt.

Sid roughs as well as the dude who tried to engage Rex & Rob Ryan.

The Blondie is because I love you.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Game 6: Pens at Preds – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
  • MLB:
    • Detroit at Boston – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • CFL:
    • Pre-Season: Stampeders vs. Eskimos – 7:00PM | TSN
  • Soccer:
    • CONCACAF 2018 World Cup Qualifying Soccer:
      • Mexico vs. U.S. – 8:30PM | FS1

Not cold as cream, but if the Pens do win tonight, perhaps one could celebrate with the various “Jaromir Lager” beverages I’ve found on the web.

A BULLEIT OF MULLET!

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Gratliff

When is Stephen Hawking going to figure out the multiverse shit so I can go to the dimension where the Penguins were broke and Mario Lemieux didn’t give a shit so they went under?

2
ballsofsteelandfury

This means that lil’ WCS does not know a world where the Penguins are not champions…

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t disagree with the call, but if the refs wanted to be fair they really should have committed a shocking travesty and reversed that goal.

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

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1
Gratliff

Burn it all down

1
The Maestro

Hatric Pornqvist!

3
...

Oh no.

0
Gratliff

Evander Kane belongs in the hall for this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIjEQHMjNcM

0
ballsofsteelandfury

275 comments and we’re still on one page?

I think we broke DFO again…

2
Shogun Marcus

I second this. 90% of yinz avatars, pics, and vids aren’t posting no matter how often i refresh. Need a bigger summer’s eve methinks.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

What browser are you using?

0
Shogun Marcus

Silk. It’s Amazon’s kindle one. Never been an issue.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Weird.

1
...

Related to my Melania Trump confession: If I hear from that particular ex anytime soon, I’ll tell her she looks like Melania to see if she flips out. At the very least, she needs to be her for Halloween.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

She may want to get back together with you…

1
King Hippo

Nah, but he should at least get a quick handy out of it!

3
...

Tried this too and… lol nope.

She has a quality of being oblivious to when men want to fuck the bejesus out of her.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Meaning she doesn’t know or doesn’t care?

1
...

Doesn’t know. It’s wild.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t comprehend that. I usually assume they are playing dumb because they’re not interested.

1
...

lol I know this is false. Been down that path already.

1
King Hippo

Have the Ice Stillers always been this dirty??

0
herodotus450

Pretty much. Was even worse when they had Tyler Kennedy

0
The Maestro

AND MATT FUCKING COOKE

1
Gratliff

I think you guys mean Ulf Samuellson.

1
herodotus450

He makes Brad Marchand look like Claude Lemiuex

0
Gratliff

As a Flyers fan, I have a unique hatred for Matt Cooke. That being said, he’s still no Ulf.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRn6AslysaI

0
herodotus450

Savard was out for 8 months after the hit, and played 25 games before a second concussion ended his career (probably never should have come back at all). Cooke wasn’t penalized nor suspended for the hit.

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Gratliff

I mean, I’m very aware of all this. I’m just saying Ulf was consistently worse.

0
herodotus450

Fair enough. As a wings fan I can’t hate the Cooke era of pens enough.

0
Gratliff

As a Flyers fan, I question the Wings’ signing of Todd Bertuzzi, as my team has never signed anyone of questionable moral standing.

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1
The Maestro

Yes. I’m not even being facetious here.

1
Gratliff

They had the dirtiest player of all time

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pd8cDxL_5IE

0
King Hippo

Was Neely the guy who played his first game back against the Pens, and jumped Ulf at the puck drop? I have a vague memory of something like that.

0
Gratliff

Probably. They had sort of a thing.

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xa16rq_cam-neely-vs-ulf-samuelsson-bruins_sport

0
Gratliff

Not paying attention to the hockey tonight because I don’t want to see happy Penguins. Assuming good Pekka Rinne clone is in tonight?

0
King Hippo

yes, though I’m bored and had two oxy before it started so easily distracted

0
...

You know how i know we’re in a truly bizarre new world where the rules are different?

I can go online and find 100% authentic pictures of the First Lady’s tits and no one ever talks about this fact. Our First Lady is nude online and no one cares.

8
King Hippo

Christ, imagine if that had been true for Michelle Obama.

3
Unsurprised

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1
...

Related embarrassing confession: I think Melania is hot. She looks a bit like an ex of mine (similar eyes, face shape, height) albeit if my ex had a bunch of needless cosmetic surgery. But I like tall Slavic women, even if they’re gold-digging grifters.

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King Hippo

I would, if not for the disgusting pancake layer of makeup and plastic surgery. Agreed re tall Slavs. I can’t ever go to Eastern Europe now, instant Kompromat.

3
...

I’ve seen pictures of her before all the enhancements and I think she was really pretty. Undoubtedly, all the surgery came as she aged, but she was prettier pre-enhancements than Ivanka was.

3
King Hippo

agreed. Ivanka is very, very average

1
Gratliff

There is nary a political or ethnic thirst argument that this clip isn’t relevant to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZ6UuF85ENA

3
Unsurprised

Pre-Trump, I guess.

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King Hippo

/but it was indecent how she showed off the guns so much, you know

2
...

I saw a tweet linking to an article about her finally moving into the White House. Naturally the flag-emoji-handle chuds were all gushing over how great she is and I pondered just repeatedly posting those pictures and taunting the chuds over how classy she really is.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love how their definition of “classy” is “not black”.

3
King Hippo

Hey, I’m from the South, this is the default setting I am used to.

2
...

I mean, if Melania were an ex-stripper, veteran Red Light district prostitute, and Tijuana sex show superstar, they’d find a way to explain it away and insist she’s classier than Michelle ever was. It’s the most transparent case of “my team always good, your team always bad” I’ve ever seen.

3
King Hippo

She could do a donkey show on the South Lawn – “at least it’s not that trashy Michelle!!”

2
Gratliff

The definition of literally every good quality on twitter is “not black”

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, there are a thousand living rooms covered in pearl dust from that time Michelle wore a sleeveless gown.

5
King Hippo

The DC chucklefucks were just all jelly that the Obamas were the first First Couple in ages that actually still FUCKED.

3
Gratliff

Don’t forget former illegal immigrant. That doesn’t get enough air time.

2
Brick Meathook

Say what you will about me, but you can’t say that I don’t own a 1951 Graflex Speed Graphic Pacemaker 4×5 large format film camera, almost identical to the one pictured below. Similar models sell on eBay for $600 to $700. I can’t find anything wrong with mine and I just bought it for $75.

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4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can say it all I want. First amendment, baby!

1
Brick Meathook

Of course you can say it! Except you can’t. It’s that simple.

1
Brocky

dang, are antique cameras really that lucrative?

still haven’t gotten around to selling grandpa’s old collection.

can’t find the list and such, so no idea how much it’d actually be worth (can’t be that much)

1
Unsurprised

Yes.

You should find that list. If Brick won’t buy them, my brother probably would.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

Am I the only one watching Mexico-US?

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King Hippo

No. Plenty of other Mexicans are.

11
King Hippo

if this shitshow goes to OT, even MOAR shame ice cream FOAR me!!

1
Unsurprised

RIP, Batman
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JustStopDude

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Unsurprised

I’M A FUCKING IDIOT

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ballsofsteelandfury

Catch your penis with your zipper again?

4
JustStopDude

Fuck that is the worst…especially since its going to feel way worse before it gets better.

3
Brocky

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Unsurprised

Too small.

0
Brocky

Oh god, what’d you do THIS time?

1
Unsurprised

Read Twitter

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...

I do this way, way too fucking much and it’s all rotted my brain.

1
Unsurprised

Indeed

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...

Although the last few days have been a bit nicer since Corbyn’s success in destroying Theresa May’s career.

2
Unsurprised

The Hillbots have returned with a vengeance at shitting on people who’ve been inspired.

1
...

The fact they aren’t celebrating a proven path to retaking power proves exactly where their true intentions and politics lie.

1
Unsurprised

Indeed

1
Brocky

….gonna need to be more specific. i follow a few football players, ape, and a shit ton of wrestlers.

i’m not proud of this…

1
Gratliff

It’s all worth it for that moment when you’re casually talking about an indy heel and they take the time to openly mock you.

2
Brocky

or that time mick foley sends you direct message!

i was so happy.

seriously unsurprised, what’s your handle?

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Unsurprised

I only read it. I don’t have an account.

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Brocky

interesting.

so what trending topic has caused so much self loathing?

0
Unsurprised

All the intra-lefty fighting.

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Mr. Ayo

Apt username right now

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh, better than being a celibate idiot.

3
Unsurprised

I hate to break it to you, but … That is more accurate.

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Unsurprised

To wit, it’s exactly true.

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Brocky

screw it, i feel contemplative and world seeking

if you HAD to choose a job searching site, which one would you use?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Brazzers

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Brocky

I googled “brazzers internship”, this result came up:

https://9gag.com/gag/apoBpmp

1
King Hippo

hee hee, “gag” is in the link twice

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ballsofsteelandfury

My dad is sitting to my right and my mom to my left. I should not click that, right?

2
Brocky

no you shouldn’t.

9gag is a weak ripoff of reddit, so they won’t have porn, but the image is just explicit enough to be treated with caution

1
Unsurprised

Someone has to be working at Pornhub.

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Brocky

assisted suicide

bruh

http://i.impiri.us/nfl-mcnabb-wat.gif

4
King Hippo

perhaps I should note how strongly the job search process does not appeal to my personality type, where my greatest fears are being judged and rejected??

/also, have read this book, it makes some pretty good points, though the technology/chemicals be outdated

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Farmers Only

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Brocky

kudos for making an adequately off topic joke lol

0
King Hippo

Remember, The Ladders is ONLY 100K+ jobs, FOAR ONLY 100K+ ppl.

/assuming it’s no longer in business

0
JustStopDude

This match up is like trying to watch the Thursday Night Football “EXTREME” jersey colors or whatever.

The color schemes keep tricking my brain and kept forgetting which team is which.

0
King Hippo

“colour rush” is the preferred nomenclature, please, Dude

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: A play called “Colored Rush” was the source of great tension between LeSean McCoy and his head coach when he was still on the Eagles.

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herodotus450

/Need some quick dfo points
//no time to read the posts below I’ll just skim them
///hmm something Erin Andrews related maybe, lots of chatter there
http://www.insidesocal.com/tomhoffarth/files/import/i-70ad04448c38569cc3cec1df33d6bfaf-ErinAndrewsa_A__Wyman_17351567.jpg

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Someone needs to Photoshop that as if it was taken from a peephole.

4
...

I would but I think you’d be shocked at how much it would cost.

3
JustStopDude

I still am amazed how little she was able to get out of her lawsuit.

The hotel basically gave a dude that had a restraining order against him, not only her travel dates, but also rooms next to her on multiple trips. The fucking emails between employees pretty much showed that not only did low level people know about this, but it went up to managers and shit because everyone wanted their cut from the creepy stalker.

If Marriott did that shit to me (I got an insane ex that I got an order against) I would kill someone.

6
...

I know she can’t get shit out of the stalker, but the judgment was $55 million.

1
King Hippo

yeah, the Marriotts can wipe they ass with $55M but that’s not bad at all for an invasion of privacy suit like that.

3
JustStopDude

Lawyers are going to get a lot of that and pretty much her video will never be fully off the internet.

Its not that big of a jump to go from stalking someone across the country to murdering them.

2
King Hippo

It is in terms of legal damages. You don’t get compensated for what COULD have happened to you (usually).

1
JustStopDude

Oh I realize that.

My point is that Marriott is lucky that they were not dealing with a wrongful death suit.

1
Unsurprised

Its not that big of a jump to go from stalking someone across the country to murdering them.

But the Supreme Court and the Republican Party say punitive damages are evil and effectively unconstitutional.

Why would they say that if it weren’t true?

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was funnier than hell.

0
The Maestro

I know Hippo wouldn’t, and that’s fine, but I still would.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can tell she likes the anal.

*could be my projection.

0
Beerguyrob

Do you think she broke up with Aaron Rodgers the first time he asked to be on top?

1
Gratliff

Almost through the second season of Twin Peaks, and holy shit, I can’t believe Heather Graham is almost 50. That is my main takeaway from the series so far.

3
Gratliff

Also, lol bit Ted Raimi part. Such odd casting.

0
King Hippo

Considering binging that so I can catch up with the new Showtime seasons. Just a lot to commit one’s neurons to. And I don’t have many left.

0
Gratliff

The first season was 10 eps so I figured it would be a quick watch. Then you get to the second and realize it’s fucking 22 so they can really dig in on the crazy.

0
King Hippo

That’s an awful lot of David Lynch. Just the 2.5 hours of Mulholland Drive had my brain in circles for weeks, and not just the mindblowing lesbo scene…

1
Gratliff

Eventually, I’m going to get around to going all in on Lynch’s insanity. I’ve only done Twin Peaks and Dune so far. Also, his quinoa recipe thanks to Bakoon for some reason.

Apparently, he’s also done a spoken word music video for X Japan, which is both peak X Japan and peak Lynch.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxx4Dzb3YB8

0
JustStopDude

Because we started talking about this before, easily the home improvement guy I hate the most is Mike Holmes. He is the contractor everyone wants until they get the fucking bill.

His rants about contractors only doing up to code, as if people are suppose to get above code work done for every fucking job…and that people would not balk at paying for that…I can’t stand that fucking shtick.

He constantly bad mouths the industry, all the time making sure never to mention that his costs and materials are completely covered by a fucking production studio. He is the home equivalent of “Pimp my Ride”. I would love to know how these people can now afford their taxes considering he just dumped three times what the house is worth into a fucking bathroom.

I got out of the game right around his show got popular and we started getting people expecting us to build shit above code, but at the same price as everyone else.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Above code is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

0
JustStopDude

That is his whole shtick. Like his show, they would fix stuff other people didn’t…but they would totally gloss over home owners that were doing stupid shit…like ignoring a roof leak for years, letting ivy grow up on the side of a house, ignoring insect infestations, and Holmes would just blame the original contractor or home builder.

0
ballsofsteelandfury

That’s unreal. The only reason I’ve ever watched that flipping show with the blonde is to masturbate.

2
...

Do you call that “flipping your dick?”

Cuz I would.

2
King Hippo

she did like to wear some mighty revealing skirts

2
Brocky

so, i have this little idea in my head for football:

I want to mathematically figure out the “worst decade in bears history”

but i’m not sure how it would be calculated:

Option 1: calculate winning percentage for a year, and the 9 preceding years:

Option 2: calculate the preceding five years before and after any given year.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-C8BTchzt7uY/VK0vhEzzUsI/AAAAAAAADV4/Lm9ULPuOFVo/s1600/0dba2182baaf567abd272100817df53f3169d7449aa5d1a98235d2f885163a1e.jpg

2
herodotus450

You should meet my friend, Mr. Reimann

0
herodotus450

I’m not calling you Mr. Reimann, I’m explying that my friend’s name is Reimann.

0
...

I would do a running ten-year average and pick the lowest figure as the worst decade.

You could introduce metrics such as number of seasons below .500 if you think that’s a better of measure of hopeless futility.

1
King Hippo

measure it not by W/L, but rather the lack of Ditka

0
...

That reminds me: I need to send in a contribution to WYTS this year. I’m chalk full of Bear-related raged.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do it by number of coaches with abysmal W-L records.

0
Unsurprised

Where’s Dok Zymm?

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Holy shit was that a terrible call.”

– Ed Hochuli

4
King Hippo

I wonder why they no have Arrested Development as on-ice entertainment??

/also, I fervently believe this song holds up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VCdJyOAQYM

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great, now you’ve got me imagining Ron Howard doing color commentary for a hockey game.

4
King Hippo

I’d pay to hear that!!

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, now I’m thinking about writing up a Hard Knocks / Arrested Development mashup.

4
JustStopDude

Oh I noticed leaving the Royal Ontario Museum that a crazy person put up a booth in front to hand out literature and shout abuse at people about Islam.

At one point, he was using a mega-phone about a foot away from a Sikh family just trying to get into the museum.

I felt like I was back in the US.

3
blaxabbath

We export more than just democracy.

By the way, how are your childhood obesity numbers looking?

2
JustStopDude

In the states?

1
King Hippo

one word…poutine

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

True story: because American children have gotten so fat I was able to buy the largest child size shorts at Costco and they fit perfectly. Saved $7!

4
The Maestro

I’ve gained six inches to my waistline in just seven years. If only I could still get deals on clothes like this.

0
The Maestro

Not stellar. I’m guilty of this too, considering I had pizza for breakfast and an entire tray of cinnamon rolls for dinner.

1
The Maestro

Unfortunately, Toronto attracts a lot of the crazies. Downtown Ottawa, too. Too bad.

1
JustStopDude

You know…the ethnic group I would not start shit with…it would be Sikh.

Have you ever seen a small Sikh man? Even the old dudes running the 7-11…they are all built like fucking houses. I’ll never understand what Gandhi was thinking ordering Operation Morning Star (the attack on the Sikh Golden Temple) and didn’t think to switch out her security detail so it did not consist entirely of Sikh special forces members.

2
The Maestro

Seriously though. Our minister of defense is a Sikh and he did multiple tours in Afghanistan and later was a special forces cop working the Vancouver drugs and gangs unit apparently. I absolutely wouldn’t fuck with him, ever.

2
JustStopDude

Or a Gurkha. I loved how during Afghanistan, the Brits would use Gurkha hunter/killer teams to take out high value targets. They were required to get photos of the bodies for full payment. One day, a unit was getting shelled immediately so they grab the bodies of their fellow soldiers, and the head Gurkha remaining just cut the head off of the Taliban official they were sent to kill.

The Brits freaked out when they dropped the head off at HQ.

My favorite Gurkha story though has to be Bishnu Shrestha. Dude is on a train because he is being forced into retirement. About 30 train robbers stormed the train. He didn’t resist until they tried to rape a girl. Armed with just his Gurkha knife, he fucked up like three of them, got shot, got his knife taken from him, and the robbers fled after they thought they killed him.

The India military rescinded his retirement orders. The girl’s family tried to get him to take money and he refused.

5
The Maestro

The Gurkhas are fucking insanely hardcore. I would ALWAYS want them on my side instead of having to square off against them.

2
JustStopDude

Only people to go 2-0 against the British Empire. Finally someone in the Foreign Office just offered them a paycheck.

4
herodotus450

The three star shield emblem thing on the preds jersey looks an awful lot like a dragonball to me
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/645549/ufzxv.jpeg

0
King Hippo

or a subliminal KKK thingy

1
Brocky

well, it is a reference to the Tennessee state flag, so…

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4
King Hippo

POINT 2 HIPPO!!!111

2
The Maestro

I assume the guy who put the stars on the flag the first time they drew it was drunk when he did it, judging by the angles the points are at.

2
Brocky

well, it is a reference to the Tennesse

3
Brocky

well, it is a reference to the Tennessee

1
King Hippo

Hey, Cage the Elephant! Finally a good band FOAR the dead fish peoples!!

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

A hearty FUCK YOU to the guy at LaGuardia wearing a “HAKUNA MATATA” t-shirt, because now that shit’s in my head.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Hey don’t talk that way about my girlfriend.”

– Manti Te’o

9
King Hippo

you could almost spell “Hunk-a-man” out of that, so it fits

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A helmet, a stick, a fish…I haven’t seen this much garbage on the ice since the Cuyahoga River froze.

3
blaxabbath

The mrs has a friend who oh-so-wants-to-be-famous. The friend is a cute girl with a big personality but is mid-30’s and still lives with her family, never finished college, and has very little in terms of professional experience (because she isn’t appreciated enough when people don’t automatically make her a CEO based on her brilliance). As such, she always has these like 5-year plans that conveniently get interrupted about 2 years in when it’s time to start the heavy lifting. For example, she wanted to be a distiller so her parents bought her the equipment and then she spent a couple years at community college “getting baseline knowledge” (but mostly just coming up with names/bottle designs) but then she moved states so that idea died. Then her parents renovated the house she was staying in (that they owned) so she’s been someone who “flips houses” ever since (ignoring that she has never bought or sold RE). Most recently, she did some contributing for a site even more successful than this (some #contentgenerator where she’d tell you why Trump is basically the Wonder Woman villain or kale is the reason guys don’t treat ladies as well as they should, plus here’s ten Top Gun references so you can make this #viral) so now she’s a writer.

I’m like, just go make a sex tape.

6
King Hippo

Are you living desert Trailer Park Boys, somehow??

1
blaxabbath

She’s in the Pac NW! I’ve come to grips with my reality down here.

________________

Just asked the Mrs if we should go to the dog park at 6:30. She responded, “anytime, it’s only 97 now.”

5
Unsurprised

What’s her name? What’s her number?

1
blaxabbath

I’m afraid she’d get you to tell her where you got the number, reveal dfo, and then she’d know I was venting about her here.

1
Unsurprised

How dare you!?! I am very discreet. I even use the right form of ‘discreet.’

0
King Hippo

After a rub-n-tug tho??

2
Unsurprised

Probably!

0
blaxabbath

Is this a callback to Sill’s ripping on my incorrect usage of the word?

ARE YOU SILL?

0
Unsurprised

Fuck Sill.

0
King Hippo

/also, a sex tape will hardly do in 2017. She’d need to be banging 3 goats while a group of multi-racial little people watches and circle jerks (or something like that, she says she’s creative)

3
blaxabbath

I told her to find a couple friends and cup as a start. When the Mrs didn’t understand, I just bowed out and said any sex tape will probably do.

7
The Maestro

How do you have insider info on Ai Weiwei’s next art project??

4
...

Stories like this are seldom told from the point of view of exposing wealth as being only loosely connected with competence or work ethic.

I read an article a couple weeks ago about a fairly affluent Canadian couple that bought what ultimately was crack house on a whim intending to renovate it. They fucked up to the tune of more than a million dollars (including hiring a contractor off the street to save money, he ultimately drove a construction vehicle into the foundation nearly requiring the house to be condemned) and don’t seem to grasp their horrible decisions were offset by the fact they had friends who could lend them hundreds of thousands of dollars to bail them out. Never did they seem to realize their decisions would have bankrupt most people.

Oh, but a house on their street sold for more than two million, so they’ll eventually make it all back anyway. lol

4
King Hippo

This is one of the stories that make me happy that the streets will eventually run red with the blood of revolution. Don’t care whether my head’s on a pike or not.

1
...

It honestly doesn’t bother me so much that they were bailed out, but they fail to realize how they weren’t bailed out because they were good people trying hard, but because they had money and knew other people who had money. It’s truly all merit to them and it deeply influences their politics.

4
King Hippo

Again, you are much nicer than me. Don’t get too head-swole though, that’s a low bar to clear. 😀

2
JustStopDude

I used to do demolition for a dude that flipped housing. Those fucking TV shows have completely and utterly fucked over so many people.

1) They only list labor costs…never material and labor. So their estimated investments are insanely low

2) They always “over” improve for the local market.

3) They never close or do those flips as quickly as its implied. They never show the weeks of waiting to get the permits.

4
blaxabbath

Oh yeah. I don’t even think the labor numbers add up. Saw one where they showed a foundation that was fucked — had a huge crack running through the house and some heaving. It was the show with the horrible couple — the dweeb prick guy and the blond c-word with the resting bitch face. He’d figured $5k for the foundation repair but it reportedly cost them $10k.

No fucking way they got out of fucking with that for $10k (and in Southern California).

2
Unsurprised

That sounds more like a $20-30,000 job.

0
blaxabbath

HOW DO YOU CALL YOURSELF A PROFESSIONAL AND THINK THAT ONLY COSTS $5K?

3
JustStopDude

All their materials are either free or given to them at cost because its decent advertising suppliers.

But what makes me laugh is that people don’t pick up on that all these flippers have their own “distinct” decorum and design perspective…which is completely based on what the advertisers give them.

I mean you will see a home being flipped where they claim they put in like $30k…and the fucking bathroom materials alone, like the high end tiles and furnishings would put back a real person at least $20k before the work.

And you are absolutely right, whenever there is a big reveal “Oh no this is a BIG problem” and yet they magically get lucky and it ends up costing a laughably low number.

I am routinely amazed how fucking cheap these flipper shows get new roofs done for.

5
blaxabbath

Yeah – it’s honestly a shame because people get their hopes up that “they too” can buy a beater, get Julio to fix it all up nice for them, and get $20k over the asking price in just 3 short weeks.

2
King Hippo

anybody who’s ever owned a house and made repairs to get it ready to sell (let alone flip) cried BULLSHIT without any inside knowledge needed.

3
The Maestro

I was raging for a week after that article. Fucking Christ. I’ve been saving and saving and saving for years for a starter home, and these dips – an adjunct university prof and a part-time editor – just so happen to have the connections to get a home that they could put a million-plus into.

That article didn’t even mention the Georgian Bay cottage property they bought… http://cottagelife.com/realestate/the-story-of-how-one-young-family-found-their-dream-cottage-for-59000

They also own a condo on King West (pricey T.O. real estate) and a vacation property in Tulum, Mexico.

I want to shiv both of them for the “Oh we’re so averagely middle-class!” self-pandering bullshit. UGH.

5
blaxabbath

Why you gotta attack the middle class?

3
The Maestro

Because I AM middle-class (so I’ve been told) and I still am years away from a goal of owning a home. Pretending like people like this are somehow in the same income bracket as I am is fucking demeaning to a lot of people.

3
blaxabbath

You can be middle class in spirit.

2
...

I know a lot of upper class people are.

1
King Hippo

Remember your class history from Brother Carlin!

The rich do very little work, pay almost no taxes.
The middle class do all the work, pay all the taxes.
The poor…are there to scare the shit out of the middle class!

4
...

Wow. I had no idea they were that much wealthier than the article said.

It also reminds me of an article in Business Insider (which absolutely fetishizes bootstrap stories but never tells them accurately) in which a woman paid off ~200K in student loans in a few years. Her secret? Have her mom give her a job and buy her a condo and have her husband pitch in.

Her conclusion? If I can do it, anyone can. And yes, she’s writing a book.

3
Unsurprised

I still want that woman to get cancer.

2
...

I was blown away by her lack of perspective. You have to genuinely ignore or reject everyone else’s life experience to come to the conclusion she did.

2
Unsurprised

Stories like this are seldom told from the point of view of exposing wealth as being only loosely connected with competence or work ethic.

Really? They seems pretty common. It’s just that the people who actually need to understand the lesson aren’t the ones reading or learning from them.

4
blaxabbath

It’s all about who you know. This chick, for example, isn’t a fucking idiot and could probably be a fine figurehead CEO of a well-oiled operation with strong, well-paid executives under her if, for example, it was like “cute girl family enterprises”.

3
...

Good point. I’ll amend that to say “Stories like this are seldom told in major publications and in terms unflattering to the subject”

1
JustStopDude

I got an ex that seriously has issues like this.

She is stuck in Baltimore and tells me one day her big plan…to move to Chicago…

“Dee…you have never step foot outside of the state. Why Chicago?”

“Because I wouldn’t need a car”

There is no way in hell she could afford housing remotely close to public transportation nor does she actually use it in Baltimore. I imagine the first time she smells a city bus or train, never again.

Also, she cannot stand snow nor knows how to drive in it.

5
...

I chuckle at this knowing how many people in Chicago who do live near public transit but insist upon driving most places and complain about awful traffic.

6
JustStopDude

She has a BA in psychology and never did anything with it. She has been working the same university job (Audio and Visual step up) since she was a freshman.

Completely not grounded in reality.

4
...

And those writing gigs she’s doing pay shit, so I suspect she’ll quit when she realizes she won’t hit it big writing clickbait.

0
blaxabbath

Well that site cut her loose. We’re never sure why with her storied because she’s like Sweet D — “I was starting to do stuff that was a little mature/sophisticated for their audience. We’re on good terms though and they’re going to get me in touch with some people who’d like my new direction.”

Dick jokes have been good to me; I don’t like people denying dick jokes.

3
Unsurprised

The friend is a cute girl with a big personality but is mid-30’s and still lives with her family, never finished college, and has very little in terms of professional experience (because she isn’t appreciated enough when people don’t automatically make her a CEO based on her brilliance).

She has better odds for success than I do.

so now she’s a writer.

“writer.” This still kills me.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

The last line was my natural conclusion after reading the first sentence. Is she cute? I think I have a camera around here somewhere…

2
The Maestro

Camera and a black leather couch and you’re all set.

3
ballsofsteelandfury

Check and check.

1
Brocky

see, i wanna be critical of her, but i haven’t done shit with my life either….

am i at the point where i can’t look down at unaccomplished gen xers with conviction any more.

fuck i need a change in my life.

and i can’t even make a fucking sex tape.

1
Unsurprised

Ditto

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am sick as hell of that Bud Light ad, but the raccoon in the background is super cute.

2
Unsurprised

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1
The Maestro

Been having some nostalgia today and I’ve listened to this like 10 times. I still think it’s even better than the studio version. I will still never be over just how damn smooth EJ is with his sound; his tone is pretty match unbeatable by anyone not named Jeff Beck. Plus the pinch harmonics in the intro. Things of goddamn beauty.

https://youtu.be/15eu7ar5EKM

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY BLAXABBATH I CALL HIM JARED KUSHNER CAUSE HE’S SWAMPED BUT KEEPS GETTING MORE WORK ADDED TO THE PILE.

5
King Hippo

over/under on fish carcass delays?

0
The Maestro

6.9

1
JustStopDude

The Royal Ontario Museum…is pretty cool.

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2
King Hippo

Faith Hill, still quite fuckable.

0
blaxabbath

THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK LIKE, ERIN ANDREWS!

3
King Hippo

chuh chuh

/wud peep her hole any day ,, no ofence

3
...

Anyone else in the category of never really thinking Erin Andrews was *that* hot?

3
blaxabbath

Maybe in terms of people on ABC. She’d still be a top-3 most attractive head in my freezer.

4
King Hippo

freezers can’t be choosers, ya know

5
...

I remember when they wanted to Good Morning America her and set her up as a cornerstone on-air personality for ABC. They basically scraped the idea because she was an utterly terrible interview and anchor, which I found a bit shocking considering how much time she’d spent on camera.

3
King Hippo

once they had several other lady sideline talkers, it became quite embarrassing just how shitty she was at her job. And there were hotter ones, too, so you were just like…what was your point, again??

2
...

Anchoring and interviewing aren’t particularly easy to do well, so I can’t be *that* hard on her, but she never was particularly talented.

2
Unsurprised

Fuckable, eh?
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1
JustStopDude

This CFL preseason game has the worst officials. Its like every play, they are ignoring false starts…

3
litre_cola

heh heh

2
Romonobyl

DFO Useless Time-Wasting Poll:
Who’s the hottest Weather Channel meteorologist? Don’t anyone dare say Jim Cantore.

1
JustStopDude

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1
...

I’m a big Jen Carfagno fan.

3
Romonobyl

Maria LaRosa for me. Not sure what it is, I sure do find her purdy though.

2
...

Not The Weather Channel, but this woman is pretty popular in Chicago.

http://abc7chicago.com/about/newsteam/cheryl-scott/

3
Unsurprised

Yanet Garcia.

No, she’s not on the weather channel. Don’t care.

2
Unsurprised

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1
...

I saw on Twitter that Adam West was once thrown out of an orgy for wanting to remain in character as Batman the entire time.

8
The Maestro

I think this is my favourite Adam West story of all time. Especially because he was with Frank Gorshin at the time of the incident, and Gorshin also refused to break character as The Riddler.

8
Unsurprised

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1
Unsurprised

It was an interview where Adam West was recounting how he and Gorshin got kicked out of an orgy. This was a positive memory of the late Gorshin.’
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6
...

One of my life’s great regrets will be that I’ll never utter the words, “We were expelled from the orgy” in earnest.

3
blaxabbath

So we have a small office, right? And our payroll girl, who isn’t really payroll but just a moron who does data entry into a spreadsheet loaded with redundancy that corporate payroll wants, I find out early last week, is not following the procedures for her position. This comes as kind of a surprise to me because, though she is a fucking moron, she knows how stupid she is and has carved herself a position of only being able to do anything if it is idiot-proof. I mean, if she fucks up a copy, it’s because “no one” changed the printer ink (and she isn’t gonna say anything because her task is to make a copy, not monitor the copy machine).

Yet she announces on Friday, right to a manager and in the middle of the office that she, effectively, pays hourly employees for work produced by salary employees. The manager (not over her directly, but still), in shock, asks her reasoning for this and she responds that, since no one is getting paid for that work, it helps these underperforming employees make more.

I overhear this conversation and immediately pull up her files to see that, over three weeks, she gave away over $800 in unearned pay (I doubt it can by much more than this because we just recently started using salaried employees to cover on this type of work). Her manager is out of the office that afternoon but I mention my findings to the manager she proudly announced this move to. He approached her, relays the information in a “this is a serious deal” manner and her response is, “Well, I won’t do it anymore then.”

So I get to fire her on Monday morning. As a human, I feel sort of bad because she’s downright unemployable and an idiot (did you guess that she has two bastard kids from different men yet?) and she’s straight fucked. As a person who has been fighting to automate her positions for years, I feel straight up vindicated. Still, firing her is going to feel like kicking a retarded dog with three bad legs.

7
Unsurprised

She’ll be fine. Or not. Not your problem.

(I’m a big ol’ softie socialist. I am a humanitarian in that I love humanity. However, I hate people. This is what led me to make many of the life decisions that have brought me so much joy and popularity in my life.)

3
blaxabbath

You got that right. Except that I now have to take over the two hours a week of work that was her f/t job.

0
Unsurprised

Fuck

0
blaxabbath

It don’t matter. I’m so slammed — just pile it on.

0
Gratliff

My entire skill set revolves around replacing people like her with a very simple script. Sometimes I feel bad because I can start eliminating positions, especially when they’re held by people who refuse to break away from manually doing repetitive work. It’s also why I believe UBI is going to be an absolute necessity in the next few decades as automation becomes easier, smarter, and less expensive.

4
blaxabbath

There is no basic income for this chick. She has a $180 phone bill. And, as I was putting her shit in a box Friday afternoon so I can just hand it to her tomorrow, I heard that her headphones were still playing music. I open her browser to close the radio station site streaming the music to see that she left up a fucking pay-per-minute online psychic conversation she had from 9:30 to 10:25 earlier in the day (note: Friday’s are when she is most slammed and can’t be bother because the weekly submission is due at 1p).

You, Gratliff, are a hero.

1
Gratliff

It’s funny how fast my sympathy evaporates when I see the word psychic in a sentence.

5
blaxabbath

I mean, handing out company money all willy-nilly or not, I think paying an online psychic more than you’re getting paid for the hour you’re sitting there chatting anyways should, alone, disqualify you from seeing a single number at any business.

5
King Hippo

she just has so much economic anxiety, I’m sure. We shouldn’t be so elitist!

1
JustStopDude

I have gotten a huge number of people shitcanned, all over the globe. Usually its an electrician or millwright showing up drunk or doing something stupid, but I’ve even gotten engineers shitcanned for ordering people to do dangerous things.

On one hand, I don’t feel bad at all…on the other, we are often talking about the breadwinners of families. Any asshole can ignore that shit.

4
blaxabbath

Fuck, we just have her a raise like three weeks ago because she was being annoying about needing more money. It was not because she’s worth a shit but because, frankly, it was kind of charity.

Then I realize she wants to be as shitty with our money as she is her own and I don’t feel as bad because no amount of training or coaching works with someone who is as much of a risk as this bitch.

3
Don T

“I’ll write you a kickass recommendation letter. Don’t let my scorn fool you.”

6
blaxabbath

So we adopted a one year old german sheperd today. Kinda unplanned as a friend of ours got him a few weeks back but they’re determined their boy is allergic and it just won’t fly. So far he’s alright/big.

5
...

PUPPY!

0
Romonobyl

Ours just turned one, this pic is coming home after a weekend at the beach.
He’s a purebred, but for some reason his ears aren’t standing up yet.
First two years they are a pain in the ass, but they usually mellow out over time.
Usually…

http://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s557/hunglikeamouse/zorro_zpsddkt6xaj.jpg

4
...

*smashes that thumbs up button*

1
blaxabbath

This was funny to me.

0
blaxabbath

He is definitely a big pup. They say he’s a purebred — whatever, he ain’t got no papers and he was picked up by County so, at this point, I’m sure the bloodline has disowned him.

In just an afternoon he’s reinvigorated my other two dogs though. I hope his playfulness keeps up.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I love mine; she’s great 99.9% of the time; but they are fucking protective. Which is good and can be bad. Keep and eye out; always have situational awareness. Mine is not a pure bred, so she’s 110 pounds and not fat; that big of a pooch is strong and fast.

1
The Maestro

Ate an entire container of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls for dinner. I regret nothing.

3
Unsurprised

Good start

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I want this hockey game to hurry up and start so I can get bored with it and take a nap.

7
...

I turned it on and saw Megyn Kelly’s new show and decided I’d rather sit in silence waiting for hockey than watch that woman’s image rehabilitation project.

1
JustStopDude

Not gonna lie…I would hate fuck the shit out of her…

8
...

Andrea Tantaros was my FOX hate fuck of choice for a while.

1
blaxabbath

Would be concerned about scraping…

http://media.salon.com/2015/07/andrea-tantaros-outnumbered.jpg

2
...

I’ll only get hard if she’s complaining about liberals’ lack of patriotism. If she’s not throwing a shitfit, it won’t happen.

1
blaxabbath

I was gonna make some comment about going for the backdoor the moment we agreed on a bj but, frankly, the comment read more like rape than hate and, as everyone knows, blax doesn’t write about rape.

1
...

Holy shit, it kinda does.

…

…

/quietly sneaks out of room

0
blaxabbath

No no! You see, it was about sex OR power! It was about disrespect, you see!

1
King Hippo

I would hate fuck just for spelling “Megyn” with a “y”

2
JustStopDude

I’ve discovered there are white trash in Ontario. Holy shit let me tell you, their trailer trash up here are INTENSE!

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Seriously, you’ve never seen Trailer Park Boys?

http://www.gstatic.com/tv/thumb/tvbanners/185828/p185828_b_v8_ad.jpg

5
...

I remember watching this back in undergrad with a friend of mine who thought it was hilarious.

1
...

Also: JINX

1
The Maestro

You fuckin’ bet we got ourselves some white trash up here, bud.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Vic7jRHvA&w=560&h=315%5D

1
The Maestro

Why can’t I embed YouTube videos anymore? This is bullshit. Anyways, Ray from Rodney is a legend, as is the dude who runs 1puglife.

0
The Maestro

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0
Unsurprised

Just cut & paste the normal URL. (h t t p s ://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Vic7jRHvA)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59Vic7jRHvA

0
...

Low 90’s in Chicago and it wasn’t actually as awful as it usually is.

1
Unsurprised

Good.
Kids need to learn that life can and will punch you in the fucking face when you’re down. The question is: what do you do about it?
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0
Unsurprised

For balls
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8
ballsofsteelandfury

Damn straight!

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Btw, I was THIS close to bannering your comment about you meeting me and me knowing how to trick women into bed. That shit was hilarious.

2
Unsurprised

You still can.

1
Unsurprised

10 yard penalty on Rex for spilling some of his goddamn drink like a child.
.
Sun’s out today. https://gfycat.com/GeneralLittleBluegill
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I walked today
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But … Not too much.
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Finally, just because this is the first time seeing this gif with the additional boob jiggle.
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