Blake was down for the count. We saw it. He was never gonna get back up. Not against The Smirkinator. But lo and behold, he put up some adequate numbers against a second-team D on Thursday night and that was all the Jags braintrust needed to see to make their decision. He’s the starter for week one. Some famous ex-lovers will always have Paris but Bortles will always have the first start of the 2017 season. Week three however… TO THE GAMES!
Ari/Atl: Rb Freeman is out with concussion concerns but Julio is expected to get in a few plays. The Falcons are hoping that te Hooper can be a presence in the passing game this year but with all the talent at wr the tight end spot was targeted only 77 times all last year. I’m betting Atlanta’s first team puts a raft of points up on the board that the 2nd team can safely surf on. It’s not as though Arians is going to play rb Johnson that much.
Buf/Bal: Brandon Beane has got himself a set of balls. Watkins and Darby are gone for draft picks and the universal sentiment seems to be that qb Taylor won’t be around after this year. This GM has got maybe two drafts to prove himself before the next phase of rebuilding begins anew. Bills headquarters is now located at Square One.
NYJ/NYG: What is it with all these alliterative tilts? The Giants grabbed the coveted home-field advantage against their abused little brother. The Jets may not be the league’s worst team/organization but give them credit-they’re always in the conversation.
Ind/Pit: Scribes that follow the Colts feel that qb Luck is nowhere near ready for wk. 1. So he should be comforted by the fact that his inevitable rash of lingering injuries wrought by his tin can O-line has been put off for a bit. Just like I said last year, this is rb Gore’s last year.
Cle/TB: Starting rook qb Kizer has been watching quite a bit of film to prepare himself for the season. He’s quoted as saying, “I’ve picked up quite a few pointers from Mr. Neeson in The Grey as to how one should conduct oneself when thrown to the wolves.”
Oak/Dal: The Cowboys front office is jizzing themselves over UDFA rook qb Cooper Rush from Central Michigan. Yes, he’s as white as the day is long.
LA/LA: In (another) move that has angered what’s left of the Chargers fan base, the team has fired 2009 Equipment Manager of the Year Bob Wick. He’d started out as a ball boy way back in ’79. The last thing this team needs is more drama.
Hou/NO: We get our first ‘who dat’ at AP in gold and black today. Seems to me that signing with a dome team that is dedicated to the pass game was good thinking on his part. (looking at that last sentence over again, I’m not sure if I’m being sarcastic or not)
GB/Den: The Packers D-line has been looking solid so far so that bodes well for the team going into the regular season. The not-rook sensation McCaffrey that goes by the name of Max is trying to make the Green Bay squad as a wr.
Let’s do this, shall we?
.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Esm3synkYxw
I hear that series is good, but I don’t really want to watch a series about one or more serial killers.
Dude is drunk as fuck.
No, just full of shit.
I guess the joke was to esoteric.
What was it? Flippant and pedantic, I think.
“Dude is drunk as fuck.” Pedantic? Sure.
Just me being a dumbass.
O oooooo YES
A classic cartoon. When drunk I should call the hotline.
One of my best friends is in from out of town and he keeps whistling/humming crash test dummies. I want to murder him.
So you need an alibi. Gotcha. You were here the whole time. I remember.
Best leaf blower in EVAR!!!!!!!!
No. Just… no.
That is a lucky guy.
WHAT?
*Can’t hear from the right any more.
…At first glance I thought the horse got all camera. In fairness I’m at that point in the night where my right eye starts to get a strain, a leftover from a surgery I had when I was 9.
Dok Zymm?
Apparently, the video didn’t play, and I can’t find any sexy nurse Dr. Wagner Jr entrance gifs, so here’s Yujiro Takahashi’s valet in NJPW, known to us smarks as “The bunny one”
Overshadowed by the Battle of the Awful Human beings will be Dr. Wagner Jr being unmasked after 30 years in Mexico and revealing himself to be the Dos Equis guy.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xrVCJ28KfJ0
Apparently the original Dos Equis guy was out on the Island sponsoring some tequila today.
Got right back up. Gotta admire that!
No one touched him down, still can advance.
So how many racially charged bar fights do you suppose are being broken up right now?
Finished at my bar (not sports bar) walked across the street just in time. 4 happened before it was done.
Yeah, kinda figured it was coming. Jesus, aren’t you in Canadialand?
Yeah, I’m surprised there are black people in Canadialand too.
Heh. Knew there were a few but didn’t realize it was as tense up there as it is down here. Do they not realize we’re a bad influence?
That reminds me of Dave Attell’s bit about the Alaskan KKK, “Let’s go get…Eric!”
Yeah, quite a few in major cities. It seemed that the fights were all white fuckwits but 50/50 african, jamaican guys.
Edelman and McGregor in one weekend… Boston might be in ashes by Monday.
One can only hope…
May the flames reach Foxborough.
+1 one legged man
Socks with sandals. She got what she deserved.
– Rex Ryan
So, how much for the rematch between this two slapdicks?
Only if there is a cheetah in the ring
It won’t generate enough heat for another huge payday like this. McGregor did more than anyone thought he would, but it’s not like it was that close a fight, at least not after the first few rounds.
Walk’s over!!!!!
Let me guess, the dog’s name became Spot?
Laika II
?
Yum
Q: Does HRTN need more 1950’s stripper? Asking for a friend.
Doesn’t everything need more 1950’s stripper?
I assume that’s a rhetorical question. Obviously yes.
I will gradually blend 1950s cheesecake into HRTN, and one day DTZM will ask, “Why do the visitor numbers spike every Friday morning?” And then I’ll be found out and banned. But before then, I plan on making bank… 🙂
Combined with Sexy Friday, I see our Friday numbers going through the roof!
I like cheescake.
A new customer!!! 😀
Of course
Whelp this won’t be a 300mm purse with all these refunds that will be given.
http://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/why-do-we-live-in-our-car-bad-childrens-books.jpg
Test drove a Toyota 860 today. Nice car!
My best friend from college has a BRZ (the Subaru version). It is very easy to drift.
We had an MR2 for years & years, and 2 Subarus as well, so it was a pretty familiar feeling driving it. We liked that. We didn’t like that they wanted to lowball my cherry Challenger, though…
Fucking dealerships. I hate them.
Yeah, I dig they’re a business and blah blah blah, but don’t insult my intelligence, y’know?
First new vehicle I ever bought (’93 4Runner), dudes tried the same shit. My pickup I was driving at the time was only a few years old and had been maintained perfectly and was low mileage. They acted like I was an idiot, so I walked out. This was near the end of the business day, btw, 9ish at night.
So I walk out to find one of them had parked behind my pickup so I couldn’t leave. No shit.
Went back in and told them they had one minute to move that shit or we’d both be buying new vehicles, and I could afford one, can you? Not if you don’t make this sale.
Went back out and started it up and kicked it into reverse over and over, just barely not hitting the dude’s car. He came out and moved it.
Called me the next day and met my deal.
Assholes.
Yeah, the Challenger is low mileage, perfect shape, just a beauty. I was willing to see what they’d offer as a trade-in, but it was low, man. Then they played the “I’ll go try to get you a better price” game. I told them I’d set my lowest price, they kept trying to get a lower one, so NOAP.
With it being end of the month, you might get a call in the next coupla days.
Also, if you have a car buying service in your area, consider it. I bought a ’95 4Runner next, and they found exactly what I wanted for the price I was willing to pay. Then I sold the ’93 privately and did much better.
Yeah, I could sell the Challenger, which is fine, too. Just haven’t decided if I feel like bothering with it. Both IWDB and I liked how the 860 drove, but she’s not really a fan of the Challenger…
DON’T YOU BLAME HER!!!!! LOL.
In all seriousness, one of the reasons I’ll probably never buy another Toyota is their dealerships. I think they train them in that stuff.
Never had such problems with Nissan (Pathfinder and now Frontier pickup). I mean they try, but they do seem to recognize when someone has done their research and will eventually give in and make the deal.
My new car’s a Corolla and the salesman was fine. In fairness, he’s also dating Hermana Weaselo so he knew that if everything wasn’t fine there would be hell to pay.
Probably. I’d assume the 18’s are on the way in as well. They’re free to call, of course, but just don’t waste my time…
Oh that is too good.
LMFAO…. cherry challenger.
I’m really glad I’m watching AFL instead of that shitshow of a “fight”.
Watching AFL as well and loving it. I think I’m developing a bit of an Ausie accent … PLAY ON!
/bourble
Alright, this thing has went further than anyone thought it would. We’re now guaranteed a rematch for a billion dollars. SPOILER ALERT: Whomever loses this match will win the next one.
Nope. Mayweather passed Marciano tonight. Even that shitbag won’t throw away his legacy for a quick buck, not unless he’s up against it hard.
Mayweather is giving up his back more than a bitch in heat.
So, he’s running like a little bitch like he’s done in every fight in the last ten years?
Hmmm. https://www.talkspace.com/
I like how they managed to monetize message board behavior
Well McGregor fighting style is that of the Notre Dames Leprechaun
Should I be watching this? I don’t want to. I just hope Mayweather somehow dies in the ring, and I wouldn’t want to miss that.
And the black dude cleaning the bbq.
So, real talk: considering we are currently living in the decline of the American Empire, why the hell can’t we have Roman-style “games” with gladiators and animals matched up against humans? I’d watch the hell out of that!
Those goddamn assholes at PETA
Those would be the first I would put in the ring with a tiger.
I’ll do my best to get video the next time I battle some hornets.
Might be tomorrow, in fact. Those little shits are hard to get rid of.
Don’t laugh when I run like hell tho.
(that shit still hurts where that fucker got me a couple weeks ago)
May I suggest the application of large amounts of fire?
I’m keeping it as an option. But homeowner’s insurance frowns upon that.
Keep some extra for the adjusters.
THIS THEEWEEBABYSEAMUS I CALL HIM THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS ON NOVEMBER 4TH, 1988 BECAUSE HE’S GOING TO ABSOLUTELY DESTROY SOME HORNETS IN NORTH CAROLINA.
Thank goodness that’s too long to end up on the banner.
balls thinks he’s funny sometimes.
Sometimes
OH and speaking of thinking one is funny (me) and others disagreeing…as oft happens to me….
Today, my dipshit neighbor, whom I already loathe for other reasons, decided she’s going to come over with the kid she’s babysitting and introduce her to me. Why? Hell if I know.
But the kid’s name is Cole (unsure of the actual spelling, and that’s the joke…wait for it)..
So I ask….is she named after the old king, the geologic carbon deposits, or the department store?
I got nothing but a blank look. She ain’t too bright.
I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
I thought so. But as I’ve stated, I’m usually wrong about it.
Whelp UFC fight pass is down.
Whatever else happens, I hope Mayweather finds himself physically unable to abuse women from this point forward.