Better safe than sorry – may have used this title before, and the old brain ain’t what it used to be in terms of creativity (and in all candor, never was very much to begin with). So many questions to be answered on this new, unfolding season, but as usual…all roads run through ROLL DAMN TIDE.
Maryland at Texas (Noon, FS1)
Please, dear Jeebus, don’t let this one get cancelled. Tis a lean fookin’ window. Fear teh Turtle is usually pretty awful, but no team lives to be all disappoint like Hook ’em. My cold, black heart would delight in a “healing” story well and truly shat upon.
Wyoming at Iowa (Noon, BTN)
Boy howdy, did I struggle to find a secondary option, and I am going with this over Snowflake Bowl in Chapel Hole. FUN FACT! Thanks to the US Air Force, I was born in Wyoming, the barren hellscape part, not the beautiful, playground of the rich and famous part.
South Cakalaky v. NC State @ Richardson Family Plantation (3:00, ESPN)
This is actually a passionate, excellent historical rivalry that has sadly fallen by the wayside. Hopefully, this will be a thrilling contest that results in the fanbases of the two schools demanding that the series resume with reasonable regularity, as opposed to the more predictable wolven shitting upon its collective dick when anything is expected of them. Hope in one hand, shit in the other, see which gets full first. Be glad you can flip to…
Michigan v. Florida @ JerralWorld Aquarium (3:30, ABC)
I have no fucking clue what to expect from either side, but they are both in the top 20 by default, and they always recruit well. The laws of JV NFL gravity and/or inertia suggest that at least one will end up being prettay…prettay…good.
Temple at Notre Dome (3:30, NBC)
Fuck Brian Kelly. With Robert E. Lee’s dick. Original and statuary, he can choose which goes in which hole (I’m not some kind of monster, FFS).
Louisville at Purdue (7:30, Fox)
I mean, I’ll watch FOAR half an hour just in case Gus Johnson is announcing. I’m assuming the ‘Ville administration scheduled this road trip because the coeds are too ugly for Petrino to get into any MOAR trouble?
Florida State v. Alabama @ Jesus Chicken Dome (8:00, ABC)
Holy Christ, this is why you buy extra beer for this Saturday night, and refuse all other plans. #1 v. #3 is some hot shit, even if it’s despicable assdicks like Jimbo and Saban. Once again, I shall be rooting for the “at least he’s up front about his puppy blood drinking” evil guy. Jimbo can die in a fucking fire, for all I care. ROLL DAMN TIDE!!
Bahahahahahaha
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/brock-osweiler-reportedly-set-to-sign-with-broncos-in-surprising-reunion/
ROW THE BOAT!
This WMU power run game has me excited to see what Stanford can do vs USC
Thinking might GET CRUNK foar Bama/Rapey Jameis U
Might?
You disappoint me.
Wow….I’m starting to feel bad for florida.
STOP! They’s already ded.
/plus, have to go back to Florida after
OH GOD take holly Rowe off the screen it’s like watching the exorcist
NC State loses. Big shock.
Hippo and Myself now turn the blog back over to the rest of ya’s.
Heheheheheheheheh
Good red zone defense. Cap tipped.
Yep, the Cocks stood hard and strong. Gotta bow down to the Cocks on that stand.
The Cocks stayed firm.
Well shit.
Fuck, that shoulda been six.
Goddammit.
down to one shot
Kinda regretting that kickoff return for the TD now, eh?
MERDE
Yeah.
scramble fine if no hot read, but needed to at least get to the 5 so the slant is an option
Giraffe pt deux?
QB draw, Ryan. Have the balls.
without the tip, that’s 6
Still tho…triple coverage. That’s why it was tipped.
OK, that was a stupid throw.
Stops the clock at least.
Finley taking his time. Good.
I am yelling a lot. But he eventually threw the flag like I requested.
I may or may not have shouted some profanity myself.
I’ll neither confirm nor deny.
Damned right that’s a PI
Well I’m shocked.
But also oughta have 15 more tacked on for the facemask.
Small victories I guess.
Zaire left ND cause he didn’t think it could get worse….
He was wrong
HE WAS DOWN. NOT EVEN GODDAMNED CLOSE.
FUCK OFF, Meyers
That was fucking pitiful.
And now Hines coughs it up.
Jeebus.
Update your resume Dave.
Never mind…no fumbre and a facemask…which I’m sure won’t be called.
Fuck you officials.
Alright, one MOAR shot. Go for two, win 36-35. DO IT.
Pick six would be nice right about now.
It shows just how much that Trump dominated the election news cycle that this video didn’t even get five minutes of morning shows news coverage.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=YttscNOoAjA
Not enough evidence to overturn. Herculean effort, though.
Agreed. No good angle to overturn.
We be fucked.
‘Dis gon’ be close.
oh just fuck everything
This is pretty much it. Let’s see how smrt Eliah is.
Mistiming that throw on 3rd really hurt. It was open.
Yep.
It feels reality strange to be doing cooking prep for a big spread tomorrow without taking pictures of it.
Broncos expected to aggressively pursue Brock Lobster. Bahahahahahaha. How you like that Hippo?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5Hplcl7YIY
Video game punt and return! THIS NEEDS TO BE AN ANNUAL SERIES, FFS
A 9 point deficit might as well be 90 with Florida’s “offense”
Corner blitz has been effective, I will give our awful DC that much.
McElwain is just Muschamp 2.0
every time I look at the ESPN page, Meeechigan has the ball
They do.
State’s two top TEs left school due to not getting enough touches (Randy Moss’ kid included). TE #3 committed the OPI that will end this game.
OK, Drinkwitz is an idiot after all.
there should be absolutely NO goddamned “FG range” line on the field for State.
Right?
Hello Clemson 2016. YOU’RE WELCOME.
new guy this year, but he is just as bad
He hasn’t shanked a PAT into the upper deck yet. But it’s still early.
Its on there. It just fades into the paint in the endzone.
Ryan Finley could give State five NFL starters who accomplished fuckall in college!
Zaire rocking the 80’s jersey sleeves
Was that a wolven DB doing something other than shitting his dick?
Dunno why SC stopped throwing downfield, but likely in neighbourhood of why Muschamp got fired from his last job.
You were saying?
(but no I agree, that was total luck for us)
LMFAO!!!!
Projected 6th. Can’t find a record. But I also might be a little drunk.
NC State sucks.
OH there it is…
8-6, 1,814 pts.
Very Wolven Like, I must say.
Wow, Florida. If you going to take a dive because you bet on M*ch*g*n, at least don’t make it look too obvious.
Isn’t there a third QB for Florida? Why is Zaire the only one everyone here is mentioning?