Your Second Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

The Cowboys/Broncos tilt is far and away the best game available here but I might sneak in some Jets/Raiders action when no one is looking. TO THE GAMES!

Mia/LAC: The Fins finally get a game under their collective belts and I can stuff some Ajayi into my lineup. The Clips lost pg Chris Paul and it showed last week. The good news is that te Blake Griffin was signed in the off-season and continues his stand out play. Did you know that he once played basketball? I’m surprised that announcers haven’t pointed that out very often.

NYJ/Oak: The Jets get to travel all the way out to the west coast to pick up their second L of this young season when they could be doing the very same thing much closer to home and those that pretend to love them. Damn you, NFL schedule-makers! Not going to lie-I’m thinking seriously of taking a year off work and coming back where I left off. I call it “The Lynch Stratagem”.

Dal/Den: Is the Broncs run D improved enough to limit Zeke to under 100 yards? Melvin Gordon and his 3 yards a carry nods knowingly. It seems as though Dez struggles mightily against above average cb’s and that’s where Chris Harris comes in. And don’t kid yourself, the Cowboys D is not nearly as dominant as it seemed against the [spits on ground] Giants O. Denver in a squeaker?

Was/LAR: The biggest surprise last week had to be the way the Rams blew the doors off the Colts. It’s very strange to see a perennial also-ran step on the throat of another team and refuse to let them back up. Goff and Kupp impressed but the jury is still out on rb Gurley, what with that whole 19 carries for 40 yards albatross around his neck.

SF/Sea: The only way the Niners have a puncher’s chance at this one is to feed rb Hyde far more than the measly 15 times they did last week against Carolina. There’s just so much more talent wearing the green and whatever.

Get with the typing, fellas.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
641 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Spur

Dez caught it?!?

Romonobyl

Here comes the review…no catch.

King Hippo

even if it wasn’t the Dez factor…just NO

Gratliff

Welp, my football’s been completely derailed by sadness.

comment image

Col. Duke LaCross

At least he’s back together with Monsoon, and probably being told to stop.

WCS

You’re an Iggles fan. I thought you’d be numb to anything by now.

King Hippo

Pretty casual re playing for 55 yard FG here, Miami.

WCS

Donks game is going to finish around halftime of SNF.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Wait, Jamaal Charles is on the Broncos now? Jeez I need to pay more attention to football.
Or not.

The Maestro

Hello, good sir!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Hello to you

Romonobyl

Is it curling season yet? When does curling start?

Beerguyrob

Last month, for Olympic trials.

King Hippo

Sanders WOO!!!!

/still too much time FOAR DAK!

Romonobyl

So the Cowboys decided a secondary was optional?

Doktor Zymm

Well, they are a secondary consideration

Spur

they also forgot what got them here, controlling the clock by running the ball. Because Denver said they were good at run D.

King Hippo

stay in bounds!!

Doktor Zymm

Monkey jizz first down!

Beerguyrob

Wait 3- out in 49 seconds? I don’t pay exchange rate prices for this!

King Hippo

That’s $103 of my $250 auction budget on the shelf after two weeks.

Doktor Zymm

It’s just his groin, he’ll massage it back into shape in no time

King Hippo

Run here, make sure clock keep running. Most important aspect.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty glad I don’t have to watch it, but I’m rooting for a Seattle/SF tie.

Beerguyrob

That seems like a victory at this point.

Doktor Zymm

There will be overtime involved, I hope you have enough beer for that

Beerguyrob

I’ve got a Radler in reserve.

Doktor Zymm

The Patriots took apart the Saints defense? I didn’t know the Saints had a defense

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that presumes that they put it together first.

Beerguyrob

This Seahawks game is shit. I’m thinking they’re preseason bullshit might actually have been bullshit.

King Hippo

It’s because they let Hauschka go.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love that I can tell you are drunk in this comment.

Beerguyrob

?

Beerguyrob

Don’t tell the cops!

King Hippo

Donks can bleed the clock dry here. FG is fine.

Spur

5 yards for Elliott WTF

Romonobyl

The Pit of Misery, AKA Cleveland Browns season tickets.

Sharkbait

More like the world’s worst BDSM club. Remember, they pay for the privilege of those season tickets

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Will Tye sounds like a character from a Mark Twain novel.

Dick E. Phuck

A modern-day warrior mean mean stride

The Maestro

Today’s Will Tye sees ball fly by

*SYNTH RIFF*

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

So did the fart kill Tinkerbell, or create her?

Doktor Zymm

IF YOU BELIEVE IN FAIRIES FLAP YOUR CHEEKS

Dick E. Phuck

As much shit as I gave the Giants-DAL game last week, this week’s SF-SEA game is like experiencing some kind of Guantanamo Bay enhanced interrogation.

King Hippo

yep, and the Donks’ OL can run block pretty decent, it’s the other thingy that’s a disaster

Romonobyl

Sean Lee isn’t dead again yet?

King Hippo

Let’s keep running the fucker

Doktor Zymm

Because they couldn’t just donate 100k to end Alzheimers, they had to shut down a bunch of roads and walk along them to make sure everyone saw them being charitable, and so they all got a t-shirt so they can humblebrag about it in the future

King Hippo

wear it to teh Whole Foods. SO ppl KNOW

Romonobyl

When I get old I’m gonna fake having Alzheimer’s, that way I can spend my waning years pretending to be a pirate like I always wanted.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Alternately you’ll THINK you’re faking it but you’ll actually have it.

Doktor Zymm

You should just do that anyway, it sounds super fun

King Hippo

ooooh, Pat Bowlen’s daughter is hot!

King Hippo

You can’t do that to Two of the Good Ones, silly Dez!

Doktor Zymm

Haha, I love it when OPI is called against Dallas

King Hippo

Dez OPI!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I know this is against the Jets (and also I am drunk) but this might be the best I’ve ever seen Carr play. He’s so accurate today he could probably pull off the “get-it-stuck-in-the-receiver’s-facemask” play.

Doktor Zymm

How funny would it be if every team in the NFC East went 8-8 and split divisional games and they had to go to like, the 8th tie breaker?

The Maestro

Should have a damn rock-paper-scissors tournament. Settle it schoolyard-style.

WCS

That would be Peak NFC East.

WCS

It’s not really fair for a ranked team like the Raiders to beat up on a Division III team at home.

King Hippo

no matter how big the payday ,, smh

Smithchez

Hey, say what you will, but this is valuable experience for the young guys and should provide a good morale boost next week against the heavily favored Piscataway School for the Deaf, Dumb, Blind, and Hemopheliacs!

Spur

Double J holding up Goodell’s contract is starting to be an issue.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They should offer him half as much money. What’s he gonna do, quit?

Smithchez

Really. You have the ball at the fucking one yard line and you don’t give the ball to Lynch?!

….this sounds familiar

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d say they are trying to spread the touchdowns around but that was Crabtree’s third today.

King Hippo

I think the Raiders are gonna make it through after all.

Spur

Lesson learned. Next time just run into the kicker….

Romonobyl

Fucking horsy down.

The Maestro

Holy shitballs, Godd Turley.

Gratliff

Ah, fuck. Bobby Heenan died.

litre_cola

RAMMITTTT?

King Hippo

OR NOT!!!!

King Hippo

Donks will still end up kicking FG, and miss it.

Wakezilla

What a catch by Parker!

Doktor Zymm

Leverage rhymes with beverage!

Romonobyl

Thanks, I think I shall!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

King Hippo

Nobody knows the new special teams rules. That’s like the 4th such penalty today.