Your “We’re Barely Halfway There, Don’t Wuss Out, Keep On Drankin'” Late Afternoon Games Thread

Things got started early today in London.  The Ratbirds missed their wake up call, however.  Yeeeeesh.

But we’re at the day’s halfway point finally.  What’s on tap this late afternoon?

 

Seattle at Tennessee (4:05pmEDT, FOX)

I like the Titans and Mariota in this one.  Take Tennessee and give the 2 points.  Plus, as usual, Pete Carroll is on drugs….

“I think we’ll continue to grow,” Seattle coach Pete Carroll said after last week’s victory over the 49ers. “We’re going to get better. I think we can see us making the improvement that’s going to be important for us.”

SMGDH

 

Cincinnati at Green Bay (4:25pmEDT, CBS)

The Bungles can’t score.  The Cheesedicks can’t stop anybody from scoring.  It’s the classic “Resistible Force meets the Movable Object” scenario.  That being said, the Packers probably have the better chance at the bounce back win.  Duh.  Take the Packers, give the 6.5.  Also, Marvin Lewis is doing his best Pete Carroll impression soooo….

“We have to have a direction of execution and things have to fit together and we’ve got to provide opportunity to attack the defense,” Lewis said. “We’ve got to do a great job attacking what is our perceived weakness of the defense and get the ball to our guys who can make plays.”

“Perceived” weaknesses.  LOL.

 

Kansas City at Nawt San Diego (4:25pmEDT, CBS)

First, Andy Reid has apparently accumulated too much cholesterol in his cerebral arteries….

“I’m from there so I’m an L.A. guy,” Reid said. “I’m glad pro football is back. It’s a big city and it can handle two teams.”

…but I get it.  Coachspeak.  AKA…bullshit.  If either team is still there in 10 years, I’ll shoot myself.  If both teams are still there, I’ll shoot you.

KC is the no brainer in this one, -3.  But honestly, I wouldn’t bet this game.  Alex Smith has overachieved and is due to fall.  Philip Rivers hasn’t exactly underachieved necessarily, but he has had a difficult time getting the motor running consistently, mostly due to lack of complimentary parts.  I think that changes today, even if it does occur only temporarily and in the wrong town.  Bolts get their first LA win by a FG late.

Also, CBSSports.com still has this game listed as being played in Qualcomm Stadium.  Way to go, CBS.  I mean it’s not like the Bolts moving from San Diego to LA was a big story or anything.  I understand how you might have missed it.  You’re doing fine.

 

OK folks.  Go, watch, drink, comment.

Make me proud.

But pace yourselves…we’ve still got the late late SNF game yet to go…

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Unsurprised

Alex Smith shovel pass quickly turns into 6 points for the @Chiefs!

A shovel pass. Who’d have guessed.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I did hear that Andy Reid had him spade

Wakezilla

With the C-Hox struggling on offence again, here’s my obligatory trade one of Seattle’s core 5 guys on defense–mainly Richard Sherman– for a lineman that can fucking block.

Unsurprised

I need a job.

The Maestro

Jobs are overrated. I have one and I desperately want to quit.

Unsurprised

Being broke all the time is no fun, though. Especially if you’re an aspiring alcoholic like I am (Although that can’t be good for my desire to lose weight).

...

The Unemployed and Starving Diet isn’t as appealing as it may sound.

Unsurprised

It worked well for me a year ago, then somehow I managed to gain some of it back, but now I’m losing again. I guess what I’m saying is the Obesity is a land of contrasts.

litre_cola

I have 2 and want neither.

The Maestro

Five bucks for the first person who ‘shops Sherman chewing on his mouthpiece into a baby pacifier after he went into a rage about all those penalties.

Unsurprised

I can’t find a photo.

litre_cola

Decker uses his 3rd leg to stay in, on pissed off Sherman.

Gratliff

I know when I want to put a dagger in a team, I do a sideline sprint with travis henry

Sharkbait

Have an ice footbaw game. Catch you all for the late game.

Redshirt

Dear Newbie OC,

Just run the ball forward and everything will be fine.

fleshwound_NPG

Richard Sherman gonna Richard Sherman

Dunstan

Wow, Sherman just picked up three penalties on one play, and now he’s going for four

litre_cola

Richard Sherman being naughty.

King Hippo

He’s prolly upset cause his scalp itches

hippofant

Referee just did a 5-minute monologue of all the bad things Sherman did.

Senor Weaselo

He’s Freaky Fred?

scotchnaut

Went on to Ancestry.com just now. Turns out I’m from Hungry.

litre_cola

Boo this man.

Dunstan

You should try moving to Turkey!

JustStopDude

What is that? A historical themed porno site?

Sharkbait

Ted Cruz approved.

Wakezilla

My entire mom’s side is from Hungry. Women there are gorgeous

...

I’m told it’s true in Ukraine as well.

It was certainly true of Slovenia when I was there.

Unsurprised

I’m told it’s true in Ukraine as well.

So I’ve read.

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fleshwound_NPG

Fucking, Austria

Romonobyl

Funny, you don’t look Hungrian.

Petronel

And there’s your season’s quota of hot blonde chicks at Lambeau. You’re welcome.

Redshirt

Good for Jake Elliot. I’m glad he got a 2nd chance this year. He seemed good in preseason, just had some back luck.

IronAvenger6491

I’m not glad at all that he had to do it against the Giants.

King Hippo

My bench has almost caught my starters. 125.21-118.21

IronAvenger6491

That is some bench you got there.

King Hippo

Perine and CJ(formerly)2K still ain’t played yet.

(them racing Davante and Tyreek now, basically)

scotchnaut

Cincy D bought up all the Green Bay misdirection stock.

Brocky

so i’m in chicago and they’re showing sea/ten

this is what hapepns when dallas plays the monday night game

the Alpha and the Amoeba

If you’re looking for other games, try this subreddit. https://www.reddit.com/r/nflstreams/

Just make sure you have a good pop-up blocker installed

...

When I had brunch today (shut up) the guy next to me wanted to see the SEA-TEN game and was pretty pissed to realize he’d have to wait 3 1/2 hours for it.

King Hippo

Thank you sweet baby Jeebus for not being Bennett

Sharkbait

Woohoo!

litre_cola

I thought it was. Hippo smash.

King Hippo

ME TOO

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I don’t know how you can stand the stress of Fantasy Football. If I had to worry about not just which team, but which player scored, I’d be a nervous wreck

King Hippo

my natural state anyway, I’d just be anxious re life otherwise

King Hippo

Tyreek is always better. But LOL, #ShittyClippers

the Alpha and the Amoeba

PRAISE BLEERGH!!!!

Redshirt

Oh, yeah, that’s right. BLEERGH loves Pittsburgh and hates Cincinnati.

Dunstan

Did I just hear an announcer wax rhapsodic about “slippery” K. Hunt?

scotchnaut

Gern Bay didn’t fumbre.

scotchnaut

I trold you I was gright.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

So, was that an actual typo, or a subtle reference to Favre?

scotchnaut

I’m just screwing around.

King Hippo

could have used a goddamned DavanteDOWN, though

Petronel

A.A.Ron, tacklin’ machine

ArmedandHammered

He loved being able to wrap his arms around a guy in public.

Petronel

And looked rather pleased with himself at the end of it all. Ya gotta do you, man.

Redshirt

Okay. Who’s hacked the CBS feed with a realistic video game of CIN-GB?

Sharkbait

He’s down.

litre_cola

Sadly I agree.

King Hippo

stretching FOAR goal line – the 1 is just fine, thanks

Sharkbait

As long as Rodgers throws it in

King Hippo

Not to Bennett. Bennett is hot lava, I don’t needs fading Carr tonight.

Sharkbait

Ill take anyone. I’m not picky.

Brocky

so that’s five relative upsets today?

Chicago, jets, indy, buffalo, and the rams weren’t expected to win today?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Minnesota with Case Keenum under center?

litre_cola

Ummm Shanklor I would like to thank you for ignoring the Iggles game. If you do have something against OBJ that’s cool too.

Wakezilla

You smart: National anthem should always be played at a football game to support the troops

Me, dumb: Will you watch the invictus games

You: I aint watching any cripples and sad snowflakes play sports!

Redshirt

I hate Pacman, but he got screwed.

hippofant

I’m not sure Pacman even touched the receiver prior to falling. Looks like the turf monster got him.

Wakezilla

” You can look but you can’t touch.”

–Pacman, ever since the incident–

IronAvenger6491

Man, “You Say Run” from My Hero Academia really does go with anything. Cause i was listening to that on that Bears OT drive.

scotchnaut

Tracy Wolfson doesn’t have an upper lip. Spread the news!

The Maestro

The Bengals… scored a… touch… down???

scotchnaut

It’ll get called back in the 3rd quarter.

herodotus450

Once they just get rid of the national anthem, they’ll have 2 more minutes for commercials!

Wakezilla

I’d support this

Gratliff

Oh shit. Ibushi on the field. Gonna be lit.
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IronAvenger6491

RIP Golden Lovers

Gratliff

Keepin’ it sexy in the open threads
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Brocky

and some people say wrestling is gay, lol amiright?

...

/scrambles to erase posts about Bears losing by three

Mother Puncher

Thank you little green christ

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I like your reference, but my friend is confused. Could you explain it to him?

Mother Puncher

AJ green scored a touchdown. Aliens are little and green. I’m five pints deep and barely making sense.

Gratliff

Sure, the Lions got fucking jobbed hardcore, but I feel like the 61 yard field goal to beat New York more than makes up for it.

IronAvenger6491

“The dreams in which i’m dying, are he best i’ve ever had”

litre_cola

I enjoyed it immensely.

IronAvenger6491

Due to Jo Howard bringing it, i’m only now down 11. He only has Gordon for the Chargers left. While i still have Carr, Bryant, Bailey, and Cook.

Redshirt

Oh, BLEERGH! Let Cincy finish this drive!

fleshwound_NPG
Brocky

I expected a quip on the steelers deserving to lose

Brocky

BEARS DID A THING! BEARS DID A THING! I’M GONNA GET FUCKING CRUNKEDDDEDDEDEDD

litre_cola

Yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Nice kick rook!

Mother Puncher

Did you know Aaron Rogers had never beaten the Bengal! And this is the only reason I’m watching this game! Also it’s mother punchin’ happy hour! Whoooooooooo

scotchnaut

If you could punch my estranged mother, there’s a fiver in it for you.

/thanks in advance

Mother Puncher

Do you want to know why I punch mothers?  In their last , unpunched moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your mothers better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of your mothers were cowards?

DontHair

I’ll also throw in a sawbuck for punching my piece of shit mother.

Redshirt

Lambeau Field is at 78% capacity of the city of Green Bay.

Shogun Marcus

The city proper, yes. Far more live in the burbs.

Redshirt

Green Bay has suburbs? I thought Green Bay was a suburb.

Shogun Marcus

Ashwaubenon, bellevue, allouez, De Pere, West De Pere, Howard, Suamico, Hobart, and even Oneida (though not them so much).

Redshirt

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Horatio Cornblower

I assume these are all Indian words for “We do things the right way here”

...

Lambeau is barely within the city limits of Green Bay.

Shogun Marcus

It isn’t. Physically it’s in ashwaubenon, but it’s part of green bay. Like the Vatican being in Rome but with cheese.

Brocky

Far more live in the greater chicago area

seriously fuck those cheese heads

Shogun Marcus

Dude, I’m a cheese head. Fuck you and your team who I was quite pleased to see win. You win geography.

Brocky

Not ALL cheeseheads, just those cheeseheads

you’re cool in my book. for whatever that means

Unsurprised

“I meant those other assholes.”

Gratliff

125% of its recommended weight

Redshirt

In case of a Tornado Warning, please proceed to the Bengals end zone where there are no touch downs.

ballsofsteelandfury

If you didn’t already have the banner and the Bengals hadn’t scored, this would have been it.

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