Your “It’s Been An Adventure, Hasn’t It?” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

The Pre-dent of your Untied States has made NFL owners and players sympathetic figures. Is there nothing he can’t do? What have we learned today? We’ve achieved peak Bearness-there’s nowhere to go but …sideways? The Giants O continues to stink on ice. And Grass. And Astroturf. And during the day. And at night. DeKizer Soze will try his very best but he’s a rook on a team that likes to destroy their employee’s will to succeed. Erin Andrews’ sun hat makes her nose look really big. The Giants aren’t allowed to score legit touchdowns, just because. Starting Mercedes Lewis out of the blue in fantasy gets you mega points and makes you seem smarter than you actually are. Case Keenum will wreck your shit every coupla years if you give him a chance. The Denver run D is for real again, damn it! It makes little to no difference whether you start Newton or Winston at the QB spot. (as of early in the second half) I’ve learned nothing else today. TO THE GAME!

RAIDERS/REDACTEDS: This is kinda a weird game to get an accurate read on. Rb Kelley is out so look for rook Perine to shine a bit unless Thompson decides to steal his thunder. Where has wr Pryor been? His catch rate is 53% and he’s accounted for a mere 97 yards to this point. He’s got the look of a boom/bust guy as far as fantasy is concerned. Qb Cousins needs to get on the same page as him. There’s your homework fellas-have at it. Perhaps cb Norman will take wr Cooper out of the game, perhaps not. Mine own opinion is that Raiders qb Carr just has too many weapons to not succeed here.

Enjoy the game.

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Col. Duke LaCross
Member

Actually looking forward to tomorrow night when that stupid Jerry Jones quote/meme polluting my feed on the book of faces finally dies when half that team takes a knee and he does absolutely nothing.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Here’s something to counter with.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo
Member

So CSI Miami is apparently on after the news.
“Anything from the victim’s pose?”
“He’s in a pugilistic position from the burns. From the Latin pugil, for a fight with the fists.”
“A fight… *Horatio puts on shades* …to the death”

How much more shoehorning did they have to do for that one?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I thought they cancelled that show years ago. Fun Fact, their DNA lab lady is over 50 and still hot as balls (ofsteelandfury).

EDIT: Ah, Eva LaRue (Which somehow wasn’t already a porn name). https://imgur.com/a/AB5z0

Senor Weaselo
Member

It’s in syndication, naturally.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That dawned on me about five minutes ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’m impressed the cup didn’t even wobble.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Seriously, what is that cup made of? Neutronium?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
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What did that kid think was going to happen?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HE’S A FUTURE CHRIS COLLINSWORTH.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Trent Green’s kid? Grandkid? Getting an early start on CTE.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

White people just don’t have rhythm.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

It’s pathetic how I’ve become someone who halfheartedly waits to watch new episodes of Rick & Morty. It’s not that good.

I should check out mother! and Logan Lucky. I couldn’t finish Baby Driver. I think the last new movie I was able to sit through entirely was John Wick 2 or Get Out.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

My man. R&M is not that good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

“Just a little pressure…OK, we’re done”.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I don’t want to think of how they still make them in the old country.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

No, it isn’t. However, it beats damn near anything else I can think to watch at the moment.

yeah right
Member

To all of you youngsters out there, take care of your knees.
Seriously.
I can’t take a piss without my knees screaming at me.
For real. Respect your fucking knees.

These motherfuckers are killing me right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; I would scream if you pissed on me.

yeah right
Member

I would expect nothing less.
Then again, you paid for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of course then I pay you the $20.

yeah right
Member

Sold.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Why the long face?

Romonobyl
Member

That’s expensive! How much for just one knee?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

At least I have pretty good knees going for me.

Romonobyl
Member

Tell me about it. My poor wife had the “honor” of helping my off the toilet yesterday. When they say for better or for worse, guess where that falls?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Depends. Is she German?

Romonobyl
Member

Half Austrian, half Mexican. She makes a killer schnitzel breakfast taco.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That’s awesome.

Romonobyl
Member

Get them checked out yet? I ended up with a torn meniscus, doc even gave me a DVD of the whole procedure. I won’t be eating any wings for awhile.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

4/15 on picks this week. Look out DAL tomorrow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

500+ comments? Great hustle!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
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That’s why I always drive wearing an attack dog training sleeve on my right arm, because you never know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus Beggin’ Strips….

Mr. Ayo
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Mr. Ayo

Poor K-9s. Raised in a world of hate.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

All Cops Are Bastards

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This is not accurate.

Romonobyl
Member

Mine wasn’t.

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Awwwwww…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury
Member

It’s a good thing RTD is in Singapore and missed this game. Let’s hope that’s the case because beer is REALLY fucking expensive over there!

Romonobyl
Member

You can usually find good sake at a decent price though.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I shit you not, I once saw a” special ” of 6 Coronitas in a bucket for $40.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

D’Oh!

Mr. Ayo
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Mr. Ayo

Oh deer!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

A female deer!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A D’Oh!

Romonobyl
Member

Those are like, 8 ounces?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
Member

How I feel about being a college professor right before a deadline:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I hate it when my chicken runs and I can’t choke it.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Usually it’s the other way around!

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

That’s true about every job. Face it, life would be perfect if it weren’t for all the goddamn people in it.

I’m too lazy and inept to become a hermit, but that would rule.

WCS
Member

I can’t be the only one who wants the woman in the Liberty Mutual “BRAD” commercial to be run over by the same car she seems to worship. And killed.

KARMA IS A BITCH
YOU TOTAL ME IMMA TOTALL YOU

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

Torquing your nuts is important you guys!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Makes for a happier ending for sure.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Is that a catch?

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Review from the booth in New York says … Yes. Fair catch.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

TOUCHDOWN, SEAHAWKS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm
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Good night y’all, it’s been fun!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Fun?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I wonder which model that is.

Romonobyl
Member

Sweet Redacted dreams!

Doktor Zymm
Member

Did he just say someone was ‘bringing the wood’???

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Without the charity balls? Shame!

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Sad Beast Mode. No skittles.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I literally have fewer points now than I had a few hours ago.

blaxabbath
Member

The Hillary Clinton Polls Story.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo
Member

What is, “Somewhere Within a Three Block Radius of Senor At Least Once a Summer?” I’ll take Triple Doubles for $400.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Rip his fucking throat out, dog. He deserves it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I don’t want to judge harshly….but it doesn’t look like that landing was “top notch”.
Just saying.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I don’t know why, but this cracks me up SO MUCH!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Genie, you’re free.

Romonobyl
Member

If that was my dog, that room would look like a crime scene.

Dunstan
Member
Dunstan

Oh, for fuck’s sake, Al, do NOT blame this loss on the Raiders’ anthem protest. Fuck you.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

He manages to hide the fact he’s a piece of shit pretty well, but it can’t remain hidden forever.

Dunstan
Member
Dunstan

He identifies with Trump as a fellow dotard

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It’s a shame he wasn’t killed on the field because this slow brain death is just getting sad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mom and Son on Kiss-Cam at Milwaukee Bucks game.

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COME ON! There are entire websites devoted to such.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Kiss cams are genuinely a horrible idea and I can’t believe any team would use them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

In Wisconsin, he could pass for her grandson. They start early their ’cause of the cold and all.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Ted Cruz approves of said sites.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Ummmmm….are we sure that’s not his father?
Pre-surg maybe, but still.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bill Belichick banged her twice.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK, but again I have to ask…..

Doktor Zymm
Member

Do you think Trump will insist on playing in the presidents cup, cause it’s golf and the name?

Romonobyl
Member

He won’t want to, if they let any of “them” play.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Latvians? After they lost us the Vietnam war, it’s almost understandable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

See, you make prep for the living dead, but you never think about the random dog humping your leg which ends up distracting you and getting you killed.

Fuck you, horny dog of the apocalypse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Horny Dogs of the Apocalypse”

Fucking brilliant.

Romonobyl
Member

And will soon be a FF team name, of this I’m certain.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It looks like I slept through all sorts of high-scoring NFL action. Oh, what ever will I do?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Go back to sleep?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Sounds good to me.

Doktor Zymm
Member

They should throw to Terrell Pryor during garbage time

Doktor Zymm
Member

It matters for the 2 people who started the DC D!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Great. It’ll take at least a week to get this out of my head.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

SAVED IT!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Not me…I’ll rub one out to thoughts of Scully and my pickle, I’ll be clear before midnight.

Later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

THAT’S NOT SCULLY OR MY PICKLE YOU SCURVY DOG.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I’M A GROWER NOT A SHOWER!!”

-tWBS

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Why are the [*Redacteds] winning? Are we living in the upside down?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl
Member

Come at me bro!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

For a long time now.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm
Member

Is Carr still covered under the manufacturer warranty?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Coupla aftermarket parts, but yeah, he good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Oooh! Twist ending!

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Not the bumper-to-bumper, but they still might be able to replace his power train.

WCS
Member

Expires after two OTAs, or 1500 passing yards.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Colts-Seahawks next week is going to be hard to watch.

blaxabbath
Member

I think SEA will rise to the occasion.

Doktor Zymm
Member

It’s true, I don’t think I’ll be able to get the game in Bali

Senor Weaselo
Member

Will there still be a Bali, considering they’re prepping for the volcano?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OH LOOK IT’S TRAVIS FUCKING KELCE SHOWING UP

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

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King Hippo
Member

BEHOLD THE GLORY OF BLACK HODOR!!

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

I still remember being very young and watching the US forces push helicopters into the ocean and evacuating personnel from embassy rooftops and thinking, “This didn’t go well.”

WCS
Member

I wonder how Rush Limbaugh will spin the Stillers, his admitted favorite team for decades, staying in the locker room for the anthem. Maybe they were just having deep, philosophical “locker room talk.”

“One can’t grab the pussy, if one doesn’t have one….”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

Easy, being led by that uppity negro has ruined the franchise.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nat?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Now they’re doing it the Left Way, smgdh

blaxabbath
Member

“Friends! In this past weekend I think I became a fan of America’s Team! My blood now runs silver and blue with a supersaturation of opiods and canned ham!”

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Fuck you.
I’m not that gullible.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

“One can’t grab the pussy, if one doesn’t have one….”

But there’s always the bunghole.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Member

Recording episode 6 of the Vietnam War. Have to catch up on watching that before one of you lets slip who wins in the end.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

USA, USA….awww crap.

Yes, this joke has been recycled for your pleasure.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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hippofant
Member
hippofant

/slurps some pho

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Based on current events I’m not counting the US out in the long-run.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

In the long run, there are now more KFCs in Hanoi than in Portland.

WCS
Member

SPOILER ALERT: The Latvians win.

King Hippo
Member

everyone forgets to box out Latvia!

Senor Weaselo
Member

It’s true.
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Doktor Zymm
Member

After today, are the Giants the team most likely to go winless?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Sometimes when I wear my Redacteds knit cap people mistake it for a Gryffendor hat

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

OK DAMMIT, I want photographic evidence that Dok owns a Redacteds’ toque. Wear it, take a selfie, or it didn’t happen.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I can confirm it exists and it has adorned her head.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Wow, that’s almost unintentional intentional groundingesque

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