Your “It’s Been An Adventure, Hasn’t It?” Sunday Night Football Open Thread

The Pre-dent of your Untied States has made NFL owners and players sympathetic figures. Is there nothing he can’t do? What have we learned today? We’ve achieved peak Bearness-there’s nowhere to go but …sideways? The Giants O continues to stink on ice. And Grass. And Astroturf. And during the day. And at night. DeKizer Soze will try his very best but he’s a rook on a team that likes to destroy their employee’s will to succeed. Erin Andrews’ sun hat makes her nose look really big. The Giants aren’t allowed to score legit touchdowns, just because. Starting Mercedes Lewis out of the blue in fantasy gets you mega points and makes you seem smarter than you actually are. Case Keenum will wreck your shit every coupla years if you give him a chance. The Denver run D is for real again, damn it! It makes little to no difference whether you start Newton or Winston at the QB spot. (as of early in the second half) I’ve learned nothing else today. TO THE GAME!

RAIDERS/REDACTEDS: This is kinda a weird game to get an accurate read on. Rb Kelley is out so look for rook Perine to shine a bit unless Thompson decides to steal his thunder. Where has wr Pryor been? His catch rate is 53% and he’s accounted for a mere 97 yards to this point. He’s got the look of a boom/bust guy as far as fantasy is concerned. Qb Cousins needs to get on the same page as him. There’s your homework fellas-have at it. Perhaps cb Norman will take wr Cooper out of the game, perhaps not. Mine own opinion is that Raiders qb Carr just has too many weapons to not succeed here.

Enjoy the game.

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Doktor Zymm
Member

I went to the air and space museum today. I want a garage so I can build a kit helicopter in it

Duchess
Member

But an empty garage would be like a mini air and space museum.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

If only Latrell Sprewell went to that museum.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Last time I went the busiest exhibit, and ONLY food place, was the mcdonalds.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Smart tourists duck into the museum of the American Indian for the best Smithsonian food.

Doktor Zymm
Member

You’re forgetting about the astronaut ice cream in the gift shop!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

…Well that’s me looking for weed….

Yes, I know you won’t listen long enough to hear the lyric. It’s OK….Don’t care.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Astronaut ice cream is like Janeane Garofalo, crunchy and never quite fulfills much of anything.

herodotus450
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herodotus450
Doktor Zymm
Member

Don’t care, it’s still part of my childhood dammit

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

– Donald Trump

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I feel this way about my father.

Wait, am I typing out loud again?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Mr. Sandusky, you have exceeded your 30 minutes browsing.

Romonobyl
Member

I want to go there something fierce, on my bucket list.

Doktor Zymm
Member

The downtown one was always my favorite museum as a kid. This was my first time out to the hanger out by Dulles. Fantastic place

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Sweet Enola Gay!

Romonobyl
Member

I’ve been to the Pensacola, Lexington and Dayton museums, the Smith is next.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I’m going to watch Star Trek Discovery. Take bets now on how much I’ll hate it.

Cromarties Innumerous Basterds
Member
Cromarties Innumerous Basterds

Rent dude and Lucius Malfoy in lead roles? What could possibly go wrong?

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

I watched a little bit of the first scene. It looks like a high budget porno. Went straight back to footy.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Enterprise.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I actually didn’t hate that prequel, although the writers did a shit job with some episodes.

bk109
Member
bk109

Which makes it par for the course for Star Trek.. People tend to forget that TNG and DS9 started shit-ish and gradually became the beloved shows we know and love. That said, I liked Enterprise for improving upon Voyager in two key areas – no Paris/Janeway space lizard baby episode and more importantly – NO GODDAMN NEELIX…
YMMV:comment image is improvement or downgrade over comment image

Doktor Zymm
Member

look at you DCD!

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Was Lynch always crosseyed or did foobaw make him that way

Romonobyl
Member

I dated a woman who had a similar problem with her breasts. I never knew which one to look at while I talked to her.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No Comment.

Romonobyl
Member

I look at surgery as my sex life on opposite day, where somebody else does all the work while I just lie there.

Dick E. Phuck
Member
Dick E. Phuck

Hello Ladies and Gents. What a week in football, huh. I haven’t seen a Raven get raped that badly since my Edgar Allan Poe-Stephen King crossover fan fiction.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Is the [*Redacteds] nickname or their ketchup-and-mustard color scheme more offensive?

Doktor Zymm
Member

Are you eating UK ketchup?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

I only eat bespoke small batch craft heirloom catsup, sorry not sorry.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yes,

Romonobyl
Member

Welp, the knee feels much better post-surgery, so no more Hydrocodone for me. Thank Gawd cause no way in hell am I watching MNF sober tomorrow, there will be beer!

King Hippo
Member

why does nobody ever guard him? They throw to him whenevs he in the game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Donald Trump is a thin-skinned little bitch and if players kneeling during the anthem bugs you, you’re a dunce who needs to get out of the house.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

“OK, OK, you can keep the damn necklace on.”

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

“…..”
– Weird Al Yankovic

Doktor Zymm
Member

The Raiders look too much like the boys in those unis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“…..”

-Jerry Sandusky

Doktor Zymm
Member

There are no charity balls? I thought that was something different…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“…….”

-Lance Armstrong

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Icyhot Bucket Challenge.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No comment.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

I love this movie.

King Hippo
Member

I want Perine to go nuts so I has a killer $2 keeper for next season. Plus…I just like being right sometimes. It don’t happen much.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

Pretty good punt by Carr.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

He had the hangtime fo’ sho’.

King Hippo
Member

GREAT hangtime

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

No, YOU shut up.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
Member
the Alpha and the Amoeba

In honor of our brother who is currently without power in Puerto Rico, let me sing you the song of my people.

DON T stop, BELIEEEEVING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEEEEEELING!

Romonobyl
Member

Well hello not Suzy Kolber.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

“Can I kiss you, Tony? I love your bald headdddd”

Spur
Member
Spur

Was she wearing a Sean Taylor jersey?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

I mean that’d be highway robbery if she wasn’t.

The Maestro
Member

Every Raider sitting. Oakland fucking owns.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Carr included. I hope the racists in my FF league start dropping the protesting players. That’ll show ’em

Horatio Cornblower
Member

If they pull back from that shot of Snyder with his arms linked with two players you’ll see his feet dangling 8″ off the ground.

Cromarties Innumerous Basterds
Member
Cromarties Innumerous Basterds

In light of Lee v. Tam, can we refer to the Redacteds as The Slants?

Spur
Member
Spur

Snyder ordered all the [*Redacteds] to stand.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Better that than to march.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

This. Is. Awesome.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Figures, the one week I’m in MD on Sunday the Redacteds are playing a national game anyway

Petronel
Member
Petronel

You can tune in the local radio broadcast, though, which is always worth it.

Spur
Member
Spur

Why can’t Romo call games all day, AM, PM and Evening.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Spoiler
Bengals blew a 21-7 lead

Doktor Zymm
Member

Is that behind a spoiler because it’s what’s going to happen every game for the rest of the season?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

What:

Senor Weaselo
Member

Rock-a-Fella wins for the loot drop words. And everything else.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Where’s she hiding the 101 puppies?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Isn’t that a roll on top of the toilet right behind him?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Ha!!!!

What a dumbass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quick to anger…..

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

…Slow to understand.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Where did the poop go?

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Nowhere, that’s why he is bloated and green.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

I’m about 5’6″, 135. Last night I went to see Father John Misty. I could have beat up everyone in that crowd.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

When I saw X on their 40th anniversary tour and, at 48, I am reasonably certain I was a considerably younger than the vast majority of the crowd.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Billy Zoom is almost 70!

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Billy did the vast majority of the show sitting on a stool, (apparently recovering from cancer treatment will affect your stage presence) and absolutely shredding the guitar. It doesn’t even look like he’s trying.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I’d like to see Carrie “take a knee” if you know what I mean!

I mean I’d like her to take a knee for the anthem and bring more awareness of the racial issues we’re currently facing to the country music world.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Carrie
Underwood
Not
Nixing
Injustice
Loudly
I
N
G
U
S

Spur
Member
Spur

I’d kneel for Carrie Underwood.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least to look up that dress.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Me too. For a few hours, if lucky.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show (Sponsored by Fleshlight)

Buddy Does Pittsburgh

Buddy went out to Yinzer Country to visit family and things were relatively uneventful until yesterday. We crammed four adult men into a Prius Uber driven by a guy with the look and cadence of Mr. Van Driessen from Beavis and Butthead. Saw the Pirates defeat the Cardinals which as a Mets fan, if a Cardinals player gets cut off in traffic I feel a pang of joy. Afterwards we go to Jerome Bettis’ bar, wait nearly 45 minutes, see people who came in ahead of us get their food and we bailed. Place does look nice, though. Apparently, there’s a hip-hop festival right next to Heinz Field featuring Lil’ Wayne so the area in addition to Pirates traffic is mobbed double. Some chick in her 20s just stops her car on N. Shore Dr. in traffic, puts her flashers on, and heads toward the concert.

Night uber guy was a weirdo that creeped everyone out except Buddy. He kept making George Takei “Oh myyyy!” phrases and I would counter with straight homoerotic Sulu comments. My brother’s friend gave him one star nonetheless.

In closing, if you’re there, go to Big Jim’s. That place is dope.

Mother Puncher
Member
Mother Puncher

Just bought a house next to the city’s cat lady. Wouldn’t normally care, except my backyard has become the neighborhood’s defacto feline fuckfest.

Speaking of which, Bengals.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Musical guest, Feline Fuckfest!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Open a Vietnamese restaurant.
Free food.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Or a coyote preserve

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I still don’t understand that Bears win. I’m questioning all sorts of things right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I mean well, but I’m not good at public speaking, especially when I’m expressing the thoughts/feelings of others.

– Drew Brees

Spur
Member
Spur

Coach Omar Epps speaks for me.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Lemme tell you something: When you’re away from the TV doing various errands and the like and you take a big sip of water as you turn the TV back on and first thing you see is Tony Dungy’s goblin-like visage that water is not gonna stay in your mouth very long.

Romonobyl
Member

I still picture him barefoot by a stream gnawing on a raw catfish.

Horatio Cornblower
Member
Horatio Cornblower
Member

Love the edit, mysterious stranger.

Senor Weaselo
Member

The water pool is nice and cool, it gnaws our feeeeeet…

Spur
Member
Spur

Frito Chili Pie…….yum

litre_cola
Member

Pardon my non texasness but what the hell is that? I like fritos, i like chili, i love pie. Please go on.

Romonobyl
Member

Your not one of those freaks that doesn’t put cheese and onions on that, are you?

Spur
Member
Spur

What…..NO cheese and onion? WTF? Who does that?

Spur
Member
Spur

I have diced red and white onion.

Romonobyl
Member

That’s extra points.

Romonobyl
Member

Thanks. Lift the gate Stan, let this one in.

Cromarties Innumerous Basterds
Member
Cromarties Innumerous Basterds

How the fuck ya doin’, boys?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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The Maestro
Member

Oh I love this so, so much.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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