The Pre-dent of your Untied States has made NFL owners and players sympathetic figures. Is there nothing he can’t do? What have we learned today? We’ve achieved peak Bearness-there’s nowhere to go but …sideways? The Giants O continues to stink on ice. And Grass. And Astroturf. And during the day. And at night. DeKizer Soze will try his very best but he’s a rook on a team that likes to destroy their employee’s will to succeed. Erin Andrews’ sun hat makes her nose look really big. The Giants aren’t allowed to score legit touchdowns, just because. Starting Mercedes Lewis out of the blue in fantasy gets you mega points and makes you seem smarter than you actually are. Case Keenum will wreck your shit every coupla years if you give him a chance. The Denver run D is for real again, damn it! It makes little to no difference whether you start Newton or Winston at the QB spot. (as of early in the second half) I’ve learned nothing else today. TO THE GAME!
RAIDERS/REDACTEDS: This is kinda a weird game to get an accurate read on. Rb Kelley is out so look for rook Perine to shine a bit unless Thompson decides to steal his thunder. Where has wr Pryor been? His catch rate is 53% and he’s accounted for a mere 97 yards to this point. He’s got the look of a boom/bust guy as far as fantasy is concerned. Qb Cousins needs to get on the same page as him. There’s your homework fellas-have at it. Perhaps cb Norman will take wr Cooper out of the game, perhaps not. Mine own opinion is that Raiders qb Carr just has too many weapons to not succeed here.
Enjoy the game.
Huh, I don’t remember DC having a run D. Neat!
I still can’t believe the Bears won today despite repeatedly tripping over their own low-hanging balls.
“Now they go with Lynch in the backfield”
Jeff Sessions feels his ears burning.
Offensive coordinator Jim Crow has some misdirection
GUYS, I CRACKED THE CODE!!!!
National Anthem is when we discuss gun control
Mass Shootings are when we discuss Global Warming
Huge Natural Disasters is when we discuss systematic racism and cops shooting unarmed black people
We’re through the looking glass here people!
And when uncle Ed and I discuss, “Man fuck that country! Wait, they’re what…? No way, they don’t even speak English there!”
Can we fast forward to Thanksgiving?
Punting? No way. Tres Way.
Hate factor 3. Not maximum hate yet.
What I’m wondering is why did they choose to focus on the period before TOS? They couldn’t have set the series like 40-50 years after the dominion war or something? That would’ve been more interesting.
Fuck if I know. I’m not paying for a separate service to watch this.
Preachin to the choir on that one.
Was signing Terrell Pryor and getting me to draft him to my fantasy team all a big take, since they apparently have no plays that involve throwing to him?
Should’ve had pryor knowledge of that.
Cousins will throw a pick this half.
I went to the air and space museum today. I want a garage so I can build a kit helicopter in it
I want to go there something fierce, on my bucket list.
The downtown one was always my favorite museum as a kid. This was my first time out to the hanger out by Dulles. Fantastic place
I’ve been to the Pensacola, Lexington and Dayton museums, the Smith is next.
Sweet Enola Gay!
Last time I went the busiest exhibit, and ONLY food place, was the mcdonalds.
You’re forgetting about the astronaut ice cream in the gift shop!
Turns out astronauts never actually ate the stuff!
http://www.iflscience.com/space/theres-no-such-thing-astronaut-ice-cream-were-sorry/
Don’t care, it’s still part of my childhood dammit
I feel this way about my father.
Wait, am I typing out loud again?
Mr. Sandusky, you have exceeded your 30 minutes browsing.
– Donald Trump
Astronaut ice cream is like Janeane Garofalo, crunchy and never quite fulfills much of anything.
Yes, I know you won’t listen long enough to hear the lyric. It’s OK….Don’t care.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnKl4AAo41c
Smart tourists duck into the museum of the American Indian for the best Smithsonian food.
If only Latrell Sprewell went to that museum.
But an empty garage would be like a mini air and space museum.
I’m going to watch Star Trek Discovery. Take bets now on how much I’ll hate it.
Enterprise.
I actually didn’t hate that prequel, although the writers did a shit job with some episodes.
Which makes it par for the course for Star Trek.. People tend to forget that TNG and DS9 started shit-ish and gradually became the beloved shows we know and love. That said, I liked Enterprise for improving upon Voyager in two key areas – no Paris/Janeway space lizard baby episode and more importantly – NO GODDAMN NEELIX…
is improvement or downgrade over 
YMMV:
I watched a little bit of the first scene. It looks like a high budget porno. Went straight back to footy.
Rent dude and Lucius Malfoy in lead roles? What could possibly go wrong?
look at you DCD!
Was Lynch always crosseyed or did foobaw make him that way
I dated a woman who had a similar problem with her breasts. I never knew which one to look at while I talked to her.
No Comment.
I look at surgery as my sex life on opposite day, where somebody else does all the work while I just lie there.
Hello Ladies and Gents. What a week in football, huh. I haven’t seen a Raven get raped that badly since my Edgar Allan Poe-Stephen King crossover fan fiction.
Is the [*Redacted] s nickname or their ketchup-and-mustard color scheme more offensive?
Yes,
Are you eating UK ketchup?
I only eat bespoke small batch craft heirloom catsup, sorry not sorry.
Welp, the knee feels much better post-surgery, so no more Hydrocodone for me. Thank Gawd cause no way in hell am I watching MNF sober tomorrow, there will be beer!
why does nobody ever guard him? They throw to him whenevs he in the game
Donald Trump is a thin-skinned little bitch and if players kneeling during the anthem bugs you, you’re a dunce who needs to get out of the house.
“…..”
– Weird Al Yankovic
“OK, OK, you can keep the damn necklace on.”
The Raiders look too much like the boys in those unis.
“…..”
-Jerry Sandusky
There are no charity balls? I thought that was something different…
No comment.
Icyhot Bucket Challenge.
“…….”
-Lance Armstrong
I love this movie.
I want Perine to go nuts so I has a killer $2 keeper for next season. Plus…I just like being right sometimes. It don’t happen much.
Pretty good punt by Carr.
GREAT hangtime
No, YOU shut up.
He had the hangtime fo’ sho’.
In honor of our brother who is currently without power in Puerto Rico, let me sing you the song of my people.
DON T stop, BELIEEEEVING! HOLD ON TO THAT FEEEEEEEEELING!
Well hello not Suzy Kolber.
“Can I kiss you, Tony? I love your bald headdddd”
Was she wearing a Sean Taylor jersey?
I mean that’d be highway robbery if she wasn’t.
Every Raider sitting. Oakland fucking owns.
Carr included. I hope the racists in my FF league start dropping the protesting players. That’ll show ’em
If they pull back from that shot of Snyder with his arms linked with two players you’ll see his feet dangling 8″ off the ground.
In light of Lee v. Tam, can we refer to the Redacteds as The Slants?
Snyder ordered all the [*Redacted] s to stand.
This. Is. Awesome.
Better that than to march.
Figures, the one week I’m in MD on Sunday the Redacteds are playing a national game anyway
You can tune in the local radio broadcast, though, which is always worth it.
Why can’t Romo call games all day, AM, PM and Evening.
Is that behind a spoiler because it’s what’s going to happen every game for the rest of the season?
What:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bgJBQxIDfw#t=13m54s
Where’s she hiding the 101 puppies?
Rock-a-Fella wins for the loot drop words. And everything else.
Where did the poop go?
Nowhere, that’s why he is bloated and green.
Isn’t that a roll on top of the toilet right behind him?
Ha!!!!
What a dumbass.
Quick to anger…..
…Slow to understand.
I’m about 5’6″, 135. Last night I went to see Father John Misty. I could have beat up everyone in that crowd.
When I saw X on their 40th anniversary tour and, at 48, I am reasonably certain I was a considerably younger than the vast majority of the crowd.
Billy Zoom is almost 70!
Billy did the vast majority of the show sitting on a stool, (apparently recovering from cancer treatment will affect your stage presence) and absolutely shredding the guitar. It doesn’t even look like he’s trying.
I’d like to see Carrie “take a knee” if you know what I mean!
I mean I’d like her to take a knee for the anthem and bring more awareness of the racial issues we’re currently facing to the country music world.
Carrie
Underwood
Not
Nixing
Injustice
Loudly
I
N
G
U
S
I’d kneel for Carrie Underwood.
Me too. For a few hours, if lucky.
At least to look up that dress.
Buddy Does Pittsburgh
Buddy went out to Yinzer Country to visit family and things were relatively uneventful until yesterday. We crammed four adult men into a Prius Uber driven by a guy with the look and cadence of Mr. Van Driessen from Beavis and Butthead. Saw the Pirates defeat the Cardinals which as a Mets fan, if a Cardinals player gets cut off in traffic I feel a pang of joy. Afterwards we go to Jerome Bettis’ bar, wait nearly 45 minutes, see people who came in ahead of us get their food and we bailed. Place does look nice, though. Apparently, there’s a hip-hop festival right next to Heinz Field featuring Lil’ Wayne so the area in addition to Pirates traffic is mobbed double. Some chick in her 20s just stops her car on N. Shore Dr. in traffic, puts her flashers on, and heads toward the concert.
Night uber guy was a weirdo that creeped everyone out except Buddy. He kept making George Takei “Oh myyyy!” phrases and I would counter with straight homoerotic Sulu comments. My brother’s friend gave him one star nonetheless.
In closing, if you’re there, go to Big Jim’s. That place is dope.
Just bought a house next to the city’s cat lady. Wouldn’t normally care, except my backyard has become the neighborhood’s defacto feline fuckfest.
Speaking of which, Bengals.
Open a Vietnamese restaurant.
Free food.
Or a coyote preserve
Musical guest, Feline Fuckfest!
I still don’t understand that Bears win. I’m questioning all sorts of things right now.
– Drew Brees
Coach Omar Epps speaks for me.
Lemme tell you something: When you’re away from the TV doing various errands and the like and you take a big sip of water as you turn the TV back on and first thing you see is Tony Dungy’s goblin-like visage that water is not gonna stay in your mouth very long.
I still picture him barefoot by a stream gnawing on a raw catfish.
The water pool is nice and cool, it gnaws our feeeeeet…
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQzJYoS56KBGTWf1kIpzvSRPtkNsd-I0Sr8mvbIgt1jO5kxG7Xf
And I like the [*Redacted] s to win this game, Frodo.
Love the edit, mysterious stranger.
Frito Chili Pie…….yum
Your not one of those freaks that doesn’t put cheese and onions on that, are you?
What…..NO cheese and onion? WTF? Who does that?
Thanks. Lift the gate Stan, let this one in.
I have diced red and white onion.
That’s extra points.
Pardon my non texasness but what the hell is that? I like fritos, i like chili, i love pie. Please go on.
How the fuck ya doin’, boys?
Oh I love this so, so much.