Hopefully that Londonderry game was entertaining. There be eight features on tap now and more than a couple seem to have some potential. Let’s have a look. TO THE GAMES!
Cin/Cle: Two O-and-3’s have at it. All the Bengals need to do to put this one away is to get inside the red zone. The Browns D gives up TD’s at an 80% rate when their opponent wanders inside the twenty.
Buf/Atl: The Bills D has acquitted themselves quite well so far this year but the Falcons are something else entirely. Plus they’re at home. Tyrod and the passing game aren’t doing themselves any favours either.
Jax/NYJ: The Jetskis had no trouble last week and now face a young Jags team that is hoping to build on their blowout affair last week. Rb Fournette is running at a mere 3.5 ypc clip after three games but you’d think that by the end of the year he’ll have added at least another three feet to that stat.
Det/Min: The Lions are in possession of an injured list fourteen players long, including de Ansah and lb Davis. Look for Minny to do what they did last week-get rook rb Cook going early so that qb Keenum can work his magic with the likes of Diggs and Thielen.
Car/NE: Cam needs a shoulder to lean/throw on. Did I go against my better judgement and leave Pats wr Hogan and his 2 TD’s on the bench last week? As a matter of fact, I did. So here I go chasing last week’s points…
LAR/Dal: Despite one of the squads hailing from Dallas, I like the look of this game. Both teams are sitting pretty division-wise and this should be a solid test for the young Goffster who has started to justify his draft position.
Pit/Bal: An under-performing and talented O (Steelers) meets up with a (perhaps) over-performing D. Winner gets first place.
Ten/Hou: With so many other interesting tilts being played, why would you bother?
Get going, big fellas.
Bengals Radio Color Commentator just said their O-line sucks.
I hope Cooper Kupp is the product of a Lesbian couple so that I can call him Two Girls one Kupp.
Also-ran: Turkey Baster
DAD??
Uh, the Rams seem to have the momentum.
And Dallas shifts into ineffective panic mode. Second verse, same as the first.
Houston with a 50-Burger. Who woulda thunk it?
My choice to sit Funchess and start Hurns is really paying off well too, btw.
smgdh
Myles went in there and Jacked that ball right away from the Jets, alright!
/is pelted relentlessly by rotten tomatoes
Lawrence is out? Well…
This is the Cowboys defense I know and loath
They always go limp long before the job is done.
So they’re the Rush Limbaugh of NFL defenses.
Once the Wolfman is inside you, he never truly leaves.
No kidding. Chlamydia is a pain in the ass to get rid of. SO I HEAR.
Are you sure that’s chlamydia?
Ass herpes? Ass herpes.
Time for the 4th quarter Dallas defensive meltdown. Some things never change.
Wade Phillips tries to adjust his embiggening member.
I’m curious about the options you got from spellcheck for that.
It looks like MAGA’s team is going to pull some bullshit out of their ass at the end again.
Just couldn’t fucking throw for it could you? Fuck you P*ts.
Go Falcons. Do it for me and Sharkbait!
BLEERGH must be satiated!
BLEERGH: [makes “feed me” gesture]
Me: “Really, BLEERG? Really?”
That made me laugh out loud.
So obviously they can’t be called The Greatest Show on Turf anymore, so maybe The Greatest Show that No One Saw So You Can’t Prove it Actually Happened.
Greatest Show on Smurf, from Gargamel’s perspective, WHY WON’T ANYONE BELIEVE HIM!?!?!
“Hey, we’ve been here the whole time.” -Boise St JV footy team
Guess who sat Cam. Something, something, not chicken dinner.
Right there with you.
It’s like the Vikings are genetically predisposed to shanking chip-shot field goals.
Mr. Winkles growls in anticipation.
You’re a canned ham. How will you respond to adversity?
Man, fuck you, Cam Newton.
But double-fuck you, Pats D, for allowing a guy with a dead throwing shoulder to absolutely light you up like this. Ugh.
Sure could use Dont’a HIghtower out there running the D.
HAIL SHAN’KLOR!
Fucking Pats D
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/booze.gif
It’s not officially a Cowboys game until a DB falls down on a touchdown pass.
The feeling you get when it dawns on you that you’d probably have been better off starting Eli over Tawmmy….
Let’s see what’s on Telemundo…hopefully I’ll catch a weather report.
Gurleydown. RAMMIT making a game of this.
THAT IS GURLEY’S FIRST RECEIVING TD!!!!!
Oh, Burfict.
…got screwed.
“That’s Burfict. Just Burfict.”
-Marvin Lewis
Good afternoon, everyone.
But what about yellow on yellow crime?
-Bill Parcells
We never see the brown ones anymore.
“The red ones will kill you, ppl forget that.”
– Dan Snyder
The Browns are 2-28 in their last 30 games. This will make it 2-29.
If I’m not mistaken that will break Tampa Bay’s stretch of futility that started with them going 0-26.
That record the Browns hold is impressive in its futility. Which I believe historians also said about the defense of Tenochtitlan against the conquistadores.
at least I already have Alex Collins stashed
Basement or attic?
/I hope you’re not using his real name…
I hope ICE doesn’t catch up with and deport The Foreigner before the release date.
But first he has to know what love is, and he wants us to show him.
They got back together?
That was tooooo close!
Dalton: “We’re up by five scores. Do you think I should sit down so I don’t get hurt.”
Coach Lewis: “Nah, we’re good. Keep on playing. I’m sure nothing will happen.”
Only 6 targets to Green? He’s gonna get rusty!
“That happened to me after I spent too much time washing my hair.”
– Craig Heyward
DAMN ALL OF YOU WHO TOLD ME TO SIT THE CIN D AGAINST CLE!
“Put in on my tab.”
-DFO Membership, et al
I know some people make fun of teams that schedule a cupcake early in the season, but this is going to give the Bengals confidence as they enter their Conference part of the season.
But you really think these guys can take of BAMA?
PAAAAAWWWWWWWWLLL?
They’ve got to get past their in-state rivals, THE Ohio State University, first.
Guys…I think we can do this.
I think the Browns are set to go 0-16.
I think if you go 0-16 then the league should step in and manage your roster and assign you a coach for the next three seasons. Clearly such a team cannot be trusted to run their own operation.
Relegation. The answer is relegation.
Like bottom four NFL teams go down to NCAA and the four playoff teams move up to the NFL?
I agree, but extend to extended slumps. The Shield would’ve gotten involved in the Bengals after the 1993 season.
Exactly. There are maybe 10 teams with front offices that actually care about trying to win.
The rest just go through the motions to collect money.
That model really worked well for us.
—-Citizens of Flint, MI.
Just reduce their share of the TV contract money.
Carolina is having Funchess all over the New England field.
I am surprised by how much the Rams mismatched uniforms bother me.
I don’t like it, not one bit.
I’ve been trying to come up with a video game “power level indicator” joke.
The guy whose football picks I read has been screaming that Cleveland is underrated all year. I think he bet $500 on them this week.
They are underrated. Doesn’t mean they’re a good pick to win today. Honestly, I think CIN is a bit underrated — they’re built to hammer bad teams (and CLE is a bad team).
A call against the Pats? At Home? On 3rd Down? I had no idea there were magic mushrooms in my scotch!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EfJZp1lW7jc
All these Trump supporters criticizing everything any black man does. If they’re so bad, why do they all want to own one?
Bengals TE Tyler Kroft nearly piledrove himself getting a TD.
Goddamn. He sacrificed his neck for that catch.
I thought Glennon already played this week?
[stamps foot] That Was My Line!
Apparently gonna be CASSELVANIA!! time for Los Titanicos
Ironically, Matt plays QB exactly like a stiff 8-bit sprite.
Here’s an idea Browns, maybe you shouldn’t spike your players’ water with transmission fluid if you want them to be good at football.
“But, that’s taken straight out of Lake Erie…oh, I see your point.”
-The Pauls training staff
♫ ‘Cause suicide is painless
Its bring on many changes
And I can take or leave it if I please ♫
(seeing BUF-ATL score)
Apparently it’s easy to run on the Pats.
The Maginot line is more effective than the Patriots D-line.
“It might seem that way, but they’ll catch up to you eventually.”
– Brandon Spikes
“I know it’s good PR to reach out to the Native American community, but I’m telling you, Zygi, I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”
– Vikings front office, upon learning of the plan to host training camp at the Lakota Pine Ridge Indian Reservation
Are you sure that survey showed our practice facility was build OFF the ancient indian burial ground?
They just moved the headstones!
A 69-yard rushing touchdown? NICE.
Wait, it was by a JET, of all possible players? Not as nice.
Agreed, fuck that noise. They can’t even LOSE correctly!!!
Dalvin cook ded.
Taken out by the Viking’s rivals: ACLs.
Blocking Peppers with an rb? You know better than that, Pats.