Your New England/Tampa Bay Thursday Night Special Open Thread

The 2-2 New England squadron suffered its second home loss of the season last week when Cam decided that a.) his shoulder wasn’t that bad after all and b.) perhaps he should pad his stat sheet a bit. Tampa squirted out a last-second victory over the hapless Giants on their home field. What delights will the onset of the NFL’s fifth week of play bring? In order to find out we must go… TO THE GAME!!!

Pats/Bucs: Doug “I’ve Got Two Goddamn First Names” Martin has served the longest 4-game suspension in NFL history if you mark time by the calendar and really, who doesn’t? The general take out there in Intranet Land is that he’ll be eased back into play but that fella has hella fresh legs you know. Muscle Hamster is in but starting lb’s Lavonte David and Kwon “KWONNNNNNNNN” Alexander are out as well as starting safety Keith Tandy. The thing is, all the Bucs have to do to increase their possibility of winning by 74.3287% (your math may vary) is to score 30 or more points. Teams that accomplish that feat are 29-12 against the Pats. If the sheep, er, Pats look up (I’m a sucker for a low-hanging John Brunner joke) they’ll see the mighty Buffalo Bills atop the AFC East at 3-1. Perhaps the blood-dimmed tide has been loosened but it’s more likely that things will fall apart for the Bills and their center will get called for holding. Any English Lit. majors out there? Anyone? Anyone? That’s what I thought.

Ready? Set? Type!

 

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I cussed loudly, yes.
Crisis averted.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Good front pressure so far. Thank God. Don’t let him get comfy and start picking our DB’s to pieces plz.

Redshirt
Member

How did the Patriots play five games before playing a division opponent?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Member
Viva La Tabula Raza

5 of their last 6 games of the season are against the AFC East, so I guess it balances out.

blaxabbath
Member

Yeah – NE always wins the war of attrition. They will get MIA sans Ajai, NYJ eliminated and formally tanking, and BUF starting Joe Webb (Kaep will still be unsigned).

King Hippo
Member

WOO!!

Doktor Zymm
Member

I thought you were gonna go Chinua Achebe, but then you zagged Yeats!

Also, are they not doing that division games only on Thursdays thing this year?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

I guess even the nfl showed it has a heart and chose not to subject us to another Browns-Bengals and Jags-Titans color (no) rush (offense or defense).

Romonobyl
Member

Your spellcheck must have shit itself over that post.

Duchess
Member

Pleasantly buzzed + over caffeinated + boring builders gala = A sassy Duchess… apologies if I fuck with your Twitter guys.

blaxabbath
Member

Build the Rams stadium.

Redshirt
Member

Um, when the last time the Patriots have been 2-3?

Duchess
Member

They were 2-3 in 2001

King Hippo
Member

hopefully negative 4 hours ago

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

This guy does an incredible Sebastian Gorka.

Redshirt
Member

Alt-rights must be having a crisis now. Cam Newton, a black man, did something completely stupid, but he did it against a woman who has a job instead of being at home taking care of the kids where she belongs.

The poor POSs don’t know who to defend and who to condemn.

Wakezilla
Member

Depends. Is the journalist white? If not, then it’s black on black violence

AnthonyInTX
Member
AnthonyInTX

Oh, they’ll condemn the black guy. When in doubt, it’s always the black guy.

Dunstan
Member
Dunstan

No, the standard move for them is to write a piece demanding to know why the hypocrties in the librul mainstream media is covering up this story. While linking to prominent articles at ESPN, CNN, the NY Times…..

blaxabbath
Member

Yeah. He doesn’t need to be thinking too much about white women. Just answer the question so she can write her chesty little article, boy. I’ll worry about judging her; you just worry about not wrecking too many more trucks trying to race to the crack store.

Doktor Zymm
Member

Internet found some old tweets of hers that were racially insensitive too

Romonobyl
Member

And worse…a MAN’S job!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I don’t wanna wish (permanent) harm on him, but I would like to see us give Lamar Jackson the Teddy Bridgewater treatment tonight.

Doktor Zymm
Member

You want Lamar to get a devastating non-contact injury?

Romonobyl
Member

Just have him open a Twitter account.

King Hippo
Member

huh, State went JV colour rush. NO SMIRE.

Romonobyl
Member

So Cam Newton makes a comment to a female reporter that could be considered offensive, then folks start tripping over each others assholes to find something on the reporter and discover 5 year old tweets that could also be considered offensive.
Will the be the first year that someone actually gets offended to death? Seems pretty serious.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

There’s still a chance that the next twitter update will electrocute every user the next time they open it. There’s still a chance…

Romonobyl
Member

Guess I’m safe.

King Hippo
Member

twitter wars are the stupidest wars ,, ppl wud forget that but they are two busy retweeting

WCS
Member

Speaking of Predator, and it’s gubernatorial ties, Sonny Landham (Billy) also ran for governor of Kentucky. This was after Jesse Ventura, but, before AHHNOLD.

Romonobyl
Member

So the P*ts drew a TNF game. I guess this was the league’s official punishment for deflate-gate.

Redshirt
Member

God help me, I’m picking the Jets in the Suicide Pool. I’ve gone reckless after dying last week.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Right there with you.

yeah right
Member

Alas, the Chargers have kicked another Young Ho to the curb.

Oh the humanity.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

back on the streets…

King Hippo
Member

made it all the way to ep 8 of Vietnam. Nixon’s turn to bumblefuck around.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

The ken burns docuseries? How has it been?

King Hippo
Member

I likes it

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I still need to start that.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

I’ve been watching WWII in colour the BBC series’s on Netflix and that’s been really good. Hitler’s military strategy was akin to Pete Carrols play calling in the Super Bowl.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

They run that a lot on AHC. I often have it on in the background while doing other things. Great doc series.

Yes, I’m boring.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

Has anyone tried the leinenkuegel Oktoberfest? Almost picked up a six pack on the way home but I figured I’d ask some beer aficionados first.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
Member
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I have no idea if you’ll see this, but as someone who attended college less than 10 miles away from the Leinenkuegel factory, I feel obliged to offer my advice, so here goes. (Be advised, my tastes run to more malty and less hoppy beers)

Oktoberfest is an adequate example of it’s type. Creamy Dark is my favorite and is quite good for the price. I like the Vanilla Porter, but it’s very much depends on your personal taste.

Probably the best of the Leinis is their Red Ale.

Happy Drinking!

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

As a rule, I’ll pass on Leinenkugel beers if I can find anything else similar available.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

Made that same face as the banner picture guy during my after work shit

King Hippo
Member

I had the hangover shits all day. Feels as though I have aged 10 years or so.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
Member
MitchKissingTitsbisky

Well I think my best bet is to pile on greasy fried football watching food on top of this disaster area so I can soak up whatever evil is brewing inside of me. Should work out just fine:

King Hippo
Member

fighting fire with fire, huzzah!

King Hippo
Member

NC State is doing a “black out” tonight, so join me in making the black power fist at the teevee box if’n my shitty wolves do anything of substance good-like.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Unity, my Bruthuh.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Oh, good. I have two events to go to that excuse me from participating beyond “I refuse to watch NFL games.”

King Hippo
Member

I got offered a ticket to the NC State/Louisville game, but that would have meant (i) sitting in game/rush hour hybrid traffic; (ii) submitting my c-spine to bleacher seating; and (iii) not being able to track Gronk injury proper-like. HARD PASS.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I went thru the same progression of reads.
Why ya think my ass is at home getting drunk instead of walking soberly thru the parking lot right now?

Well, not soberly, but less drunk let’s call it.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Lucky bastard. I only have one.

King Hippo
Member

Thankfully, Gronk gets completely scratched so I don’t agonize over whether to start him.

Unfortunately, bye weeks meant I was already starting Evan Engram in the Dreaded Two TE Alignment…so it’s the uber-sketchy Alex Collins (who??) who goes in fer him.

Redshirt
Member

He’s down. You’re good.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

If most of my points don’t come tonight, I’m dead meat this week.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Is that a Yeats tampon advertisement?

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