Your New England/Tampa Bay Thursday Night Special Open Thread

The 2-2 New England squadron suffered its second home loss of the season last week when Cam decided that a.) his shoulder wasn’t that bad after all and b.) perhaps he should pad his stat sheet a bit. Tampa squirted out a last-second victory over the hapless Giants on their home field. What delights will the onset of the NFL’s fifth week of play bring? In order to find out we must go… TO THE GAME!!!

Pats/Bucs: Doug “I’ve Got Two Goddamn First Names” Martin has served the longest 4-game suspension in NFL history if you mark time by the calendar and really, who doesn’t? The general take out there in Intranet Land is that he’ll be eased back into play but that fella has hella fresh legs you know. Muscle Hamster is in but starting lb’s Lavonte David and Kwon “KWONNNNNNNNN” Alexander are out as well as starting safety Keith Tandy. The thing is, all the Bucs have to do to increase their possibility of winning by 74.3287% (your math may vary) is to score 30 or more points. Teams that accomplish that feat are 29-12 against the Pats. If the sheep, er, Pats look up (I’m a sucker for a low-hanging John Brunner joke) they’ll see the mighty Buffalo Bills atop the AFC East at 3-1. Perhaps the blood-dimmed tide has been loosened but it’s more likely that things will fall apart for the Bills and their center will get called for holding. Any English Lit. majors out there? Anyone? Anyone? That’s what I thought.

Ready? Set? Type!

 

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Wakezilla

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Hey Beerguy, ever teach something called Human Geography? I lost my class and they gave me this class. I have no idea what the shit I’m doing. And after looking at previous exams, I don’t think they know either

Beerguyrob

Never. More of a history & poli sci guy. My Law 12 class is 1/3 examples from my Young Offender record. Sorry.

Wakezilla

Nuts. I have the same background. I found some highschool lectures online, so I’ll just read from that when it comes to geography terms and what not. Then I can just focus on the history stuff. They’ll never suspect a thing.

/doing this class pretty much proves I’ll do anything for a paycheck

/wishes balding, dad body stripper was a a job in high demand.

Beerguyrob

Ahh. Let me send you the google doc link to my Socials 11 course. There might be something you can use from the geography section. I feel the same way about that component.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I got your Human Geography. Dangling!

(audience laughter and applause)

Beerguyrob

I got your dangling worm right here!

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Senor Weaselo

Is it anything like Human Music?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Human geography is the part of geography dealing with how human activity affects or is influenced by the earth’s surface.

blaxabbath

I went to the Dba is game last night. It was a blast but so fucking long. I’m hoarse today.

Senor Weaselo

So have we talked about Cam’s apology? I haven’t seen him roll over so fast since… you know.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Damn!

Wakezilla

.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Why do they allow asshole fans to holler in the background during the postgame interviews? Shut the fuck up you idiots, I want to hear the player talk.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

People suck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

So what happens next? She fixes the cable?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

IPv6 tunnels

Wakezilla

Hnngh.

Wakezilla

On a related note, for scientific purposes, I went on a porn site and typed the names of some friendly ladies I saw on the main page. What’s with so many of them no longer doing girl on girl scenes?

Beerguyrob

Methinks it had to do with pay. Casual millennial lesbianism has made it passé. The age of Janine is long gone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beerguyrob

Now who’s the boob?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That’s a nice looking road.

Beerguyrob

Seriously, names for these girls really need to be included in case I need to do research later.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So Horatio, what should your punishment be for your kicker having netted more pts than my QB?

Horatio Cornblower

A win?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Also, when they were Dallas teammates, Michael Irvin wanted to beat the shit out of Deion Sanders.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Who hasn’t?

Duchess

Everyone did after those dumb ass pizza commercials about dion playing two positions. Then his football game whose gimmick was you could put any player at any positiin.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It was because Deion was bad mouthing Troy Aikman in the locker room, calling Aikman a racist because he liked country music. Nobody but nobody insults Aikman in front of Irvin. That and he thought Sanders was a showboater who couldn’t take a hit. True story.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hmmm.

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Duchess

He was a showeboater and he couldnt take a hit, nor give one

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is that pin Marshall Faulk is wearing?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Michael Irvin is blending in with the seats.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It costs extra for the coke not to be blended with anything.

Duchess

He saw mooses posts about line-o-coke

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apropos of nothing, a reminder that Kaepernick isn’t the only option out there better than Doopy Pantz:

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Duchess

People forget that 9/11 was an inside job so people would cheer for and buy Tom Brady and Patriot shit.

Beerguyrob

Well, I guess the crab legs are on Jameis.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Crabman: Vkt tkt nk! [Not funny man!]

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Tom Brady didn’t win this game with his arm, or his football mind. No, Tom Brady won this game with his heart.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I wish.

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Senor Weaselo

Doctor Ook isn’t quite as good as Doctor No, but it’s pretty good.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I love you, Doctor Zaius!

theeWeeBabySeamus

He sure as shit didn’t win it with very many FF pts.
Shoulda started Juicebox.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I didn’t have any expectations from TB, and it delivered.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nick Folk for MVP

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Seamus rn

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Hippo rn

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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AnthonyInTX
AnthonyInTX

Get out of there, Yuki! It’s a trap!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

She’s already dead.

Duchess

Who the help drinks milk with pizza?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

People with osteoporosis?

Wakezilla

An 8 year old?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno where he went. He better literally be passed out.

Beerguyrob

Just knowing Nick Folk kept the Patriots from being 2-3 makes me want to mail batteries to his home town so people could throw them at him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

So now in the vein of Carpool Karaoke and Lip Sync Battle, we have shitty celebrity freestyle battles?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s really gonna suck to lose this game 33-32 knowing how many pts we’ve left on the field.
*sigh*
We are NC State.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmmm….never mind.
And also…Yay.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hi

Beerguyrob

Yo.

Dunstan
Dunstan

A sack would take them out of field goal range, you say? What range?

Beerguyrob

Oh, and when are the Bucs going to bring Aguayo back?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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AnthonyInTX
AnthonyInTX
AnthonyInTX
AnthonyInTX

Oh, goddammit. Sorry. I’m still learning.

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AnthonyInTX
AnthonyInTX

Try again, dummy.