Your AFC West Showdown on Thursday Night Football Open Thread

Here we are, as usual, sitting on the cusp of the next week(end) of glorious football. How’ve you been? Good? Good. I’m glad we got those inane pleasantries out the way quickly. Are you in the mood to briefly scan some silly tidbits that may/may not be relevant to the tilt that is about to fill your eyebulbs? Wonderful! Why don’t we head… TO THE GAME!

KANSAS CITY/OAKLAND: We here at Door Flies Open will never stop making light jabs at His Heavy-ness, the only man that includes an entire chocolate waterfall in his daily diet, the coach that time forgot (sorry, forgets the time), the eater of all the ribs, wings and other things on the Family Feast Plate, the one, the only Andy Reid. Say what you will about the guy but man, does he ever take care of business in the regular season. The Chiefs have a lovely little 12 game winning-streak going against all comers in the AFC West, including 5 frickin’ straight vs. the Raiders. Sure they’re coming off a loss to the Steelers but Oakland went down to the Lawnclippers last week. Sheesh! Many folks (including yours truly) thought that the Raiders would be in the thick of things this year playoff-wise but that doesn’t seem to be the case and the recent Carr crash didn’t help things at all. Statistics say that Derek would be wise to air it out to Amari because the Chiefs have given up the most number of ‘long’ plays (defined as runs of 11+ yards and passing plays of 15+) in the NFL. I wouldn’t sleep on wr Crabtree though-he’s grabbed 5 TD’s on only 25 receptions. Te Kelce has had some ringing in his ears recently (concussion) but the decibels have dropped to an acceptable level so he should bounce back from last week’s lousy game. Biggest surprise I had while prepping for this post was discovering that the Niners’ Navarro Bowman will be starting for the Raiders. Is there a student-exchange kind of thingy going on in the league now?

You know what to do.

 

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Col. Duke LaCross

Jesus Christ

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You see why I complain about how lucky the Chiefs always get?

King Hippo

/unless it’s Yinzburgh

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s not me, it’s you.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Can we just be friends?

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Shogun Marcus

YOU’RE FRIENDZONED FUCKER!
/call me?

deviantBastard

Coverage looked clean to me.

King Hippo

How does it affect them? It doesn’t. The other RBs are at least as good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It doesn’t. They’re better off.

I’ve been trying to rationalize cutting him for two weeks. Last week he tried to make a case to stay. But now this, the suspension which will likely follow, and a bye week thrown in for good measure?

Buh bye Marshawn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Am I the only one who giggled when she said he’d left the building?

Brick Meathook

I guffawed, almost chortled.

Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Years ago, weren’t both Carr and Smith on Dawson’s Creek? If not, they shoulda been.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you Yahoo! for not allowing me to cut Marshawn Lynch right now.
I hereby smite thee vigorously.

ballsofsteelandfury

One more month and two weeks.

King Hippo

how many damned picks are you shits gonna drop?

Petronel

(Also an interesting comment when the nouns are swapped.)

King Hippo

/stops to ponder

//reaches for pill bottle

hippofant

OH GOD, these Nationwide jingle commercials are a SERIES?

/seppuku

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guy built his first Domino’s with his bare hands. What’s with the fucking gloves in the shovel pic, shitty-pizza-vendor?

Spur

I maintain that Mahomes is what set this fire under Smith.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Alex Smith: MVP Candidate. These are indeed the End Times

Sharkbait

Reason #1,49 this is the darkest timeline.

WCS

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King Hippo

MOAR Tyreek!!

Spur

Tweak?
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Viva La Tabula Raza

I haven’t seen an Italian get blocked like that since Mussolini invaded Greece in October 1940.

King Hippo

I’m assuming Buddy handles these “dark web scans” FOAR the Commentist Party?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait. Did she just steal that hat?

King Hippo

Silly. When you’re an attractive white lady, you can take anything you want, at any time. It’s in teh rules.

Petronel

And she’s QUIRKY! Which apparently excuses nearly anything.

King Hippo

oh yeah, they are damned near REQUIRED to shoplift, dontcha know

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah. Had she been black, security guard would have gunned her down.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What’s interesting is that Marshawn and Marcus Peters are friends.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Marshawn’s only friends are his Skittles. He’s also on cordial terms with his Grille Artist

King Hippo

I really look forward to the 2nd half riot. It’s like a boost of adrenaline straight to my brain.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Works for me. But not until after Kelce gets five more tgts and a TD rec at least. I gotta make up for the Marshawn stoopidz.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You’ll understand if I’m opposed to that idea, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

STOP SNEAKING UP ON ME!!!!!!!
Hehehe….and yes, I understand your point of view. Which sucks.

Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

I enjoy this. Where is your smart-ass quip tonight, Maddon?

...

I’m sure it’ll end up on a t-shirt at some point.

Croooow

I am stunned there wasn’t multiple ejections there.

Spur

that was really dumb of Lynch.

hippofant

I think he might be the most popular man in Oakland right now though.

Viva La Tabula Raza

He went into Eject-Mode.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Piece of shit dirty play by Peters.

WCS

“I’m just here so I can get fined.” — M. Lynch

deviantBastard

That was quite the burst of speed from the sideline though. I’ll give him that.

hippofant

My mouth is LITERALLY hanging open at that play call right there.

King Hippo

the guy with the broken goddamned back

/imagine Romo’s PTSD

hippofant

And it was THIRD AND TEN. Carr isn’t running a draw for 10 yards!

King Hippo

inorite??

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup, seems way past time to unload Lynch I guess.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Thanks for playing him this week, BTW.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shithead gained more yards from the sideline to the fight than he would have the rest of the night anyway. I hate my life, LOL.

Spur

I’m just waiting to hear how Trump pronounces Niger.

Sharkbait

Such a tragedy in N-word, Africa.

Shogun Marcus

Veerrrrrrrrrrry slowly.

King Hippo

“Hey, if they can say it, then I should be able to say it!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I think Penn just saved Derek Carr’s life with that holding penalty.

ballsofsteelandfury

That Call of Duty commercial was actually appealing to me.

hippofant

They should make Call of Duty: Vietnam War. I think that’d be really appealing to American gamers.

Spur

Call of Duty: Bowling Green

WCS

Bonus downloadable Kent State campaign.

King Hippo

KILL ALL TEH HIPPIES!!!111

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Tiger Force Expansion.

Mature Gamers Only.

Spur

US/Mexico border wall map

ballsofsteelandfury

As soon as the Latina single mom gets a babysitter…

Spur

At least it wasn’t Cooper scoring the TD?

hippofant

That’s just a coaching fuckup there.

deviantBastard

Welcome to #Raiders football.

Sharkbait

“Hold my BBQ sauce”
–Andy Reid

Petronel

Welp, that was…efficient.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Average play length 33 yards.

Romonobyl

“Houston with the recovery”

Straight outta last month’s headlines.

Sharkbait

“A+”

Trump, probably

deviantBastard

All 10’s.

King Hippo

fucking dumbass Chefs D

hippofant

Romo gushing about a great pass-rusher feels a little bit like a battered wife defending her husband.

Requiescat in pace pauci ursi

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Croooow

Crabtree is supposed to get those touchdowns.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jesus, Khalil Mack.

Spur

Who scored the touchdown for the Dodgers? Which Cuban?

WCS

Relax, Cubs fans. It’s just a touchdown game.

Spur

Looks like regular Alex Smith is back. He’s going to have to tap his Khunt to get this win.

Also fuck Cooper!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

RIP small bears

theeWeeBabySeamus

Once that KHunt gets started, it’s hard to stop.