Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!
Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.
LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.
Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.
NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.
GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!
NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.
Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.
Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?
Toss some funnies out there, will ya?
“Wisdom of the Crowd”? So reddit got their own TV show?
I look forward to the episode analyzing skull shape.
On next week’s episode, the leads have to investigate a sexual predator on their own because reddit spends all its time debating whether he’s a pedophile or an ephebophile.
My microtarget voter model says that Roy Moore has secured 105% of the paedophile/ephebophile debater segment.
[starts jerking] “Oh god, tell me about the bumps!”
-Phrenologist
Nothing like flipping on the TV for the first time and being greeted by an ambulance slowly leaving the field.
Football is awesome.
What exactly did Burfict do? Did he shove an official? Swat at an official?
Yes, probably. Practice makes Burfict.
Well at least I won’t have Burfict to worry about anymore.
Why isn’t the two unsportsmanlike conduct equals ejection rule called the Burfict rule? Wasn’t it brought in partially because of him?
Actually it was him and Odell Beckham Jr. in that game where he lost his mind.
Contact with an official. TV did show it though, so I’m confused.
Hey, so benching Larry Fitzgerald this week turned out smrt, huh?
Thanks Stanton!!!
Oh, screw you Burfict!
The Burfict is the enemy of the good.
Where good = intact knee ligament
hahaha its a touchback NOT a touchdown! Bears got hosed….
A touchback on review – the bears are hilarious!
Cedric Ogbuehi: Not good at footballing.
Cedric is a cool name though.
I thought Schnatter was pulling ads from NFL because of kneeling. His pizza ads are all over the place on the NFL Gameday Live on NFL Network, the hosts are even getting some pie delivered to the set.
What did they do to deserve that, kill a puppy?
All praise to Shan’kor!
LOL I don’t know what it is but I really like it when two defensive players run into each other while trying to tackle their opponent…
Throw the fucking ball to Kamara.
this is a shitty fantasy day. Time to #ShameEat entire bag of potato chips for me!
Yes, I am also on board with this.
#ThePauls seem to be reverting to the mean.
Ah, but for that one quarter there, ’twas glorious.
Ted Ginn is a walking OPI machine.
Feed JuJu plz (nawt auntysimitick)
you said “feed” NAWT “bake” we get it ,, smh
Hey-oh!!
Yup. There goes TyMont.
Hippo sorry, did not see that coming.
Aaron Jones is out. Who could’ve known? Jets & Bucs aren’t exactly lighting it up. Sorry.
merde, it happens
You mean it’s not who gets more penalties and picks?
LOL COW Giants professional DERP Team!!!
UrinatingTree: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMiikipbS98
That was…on point.
#Jagginoff Touchdown!!!!
Stupid Jaguars blowing the chance for six punts in the first quarter.
/nice fake though.
fake punt TD, pretty nifty
That was fancy.
Good stop for the Vikes.
Britt playing like he knows Coleman & Gordon are coming for his jorb.
There will be a big bag of sativa addressed from him to Josh Gordon very soon.
Humps bet…looking ok!
Still wondering what Jay Gruden sees in Fat Rob Kelley.
who may now be ded and I feel bad FOAR body shaming him
They way better off with Thompson until the inevitable injury.
The nickname is actually not weight related somehow. He’s a good rb most of the time
Yay beer.
What’d I miss?
Also, the pretty girl whose cart I ran into at the store (totally not on purpose as far as you know) wasn’t terribly friendly so now I’m sad.
I farted but it wasn’t very stinky.
Better luck next time….?
You asked me what you missed!
I know. I’m rooting for you drop a bomb next time.
This will have to do until then…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17lkdqoLt44
I feel like it’s a mistake for Brett Favre to be doing a commercial for Dick’s Sporting Goods.
I mean, I’m sure it’s just a short, small campaign, but…
I’m seeing billboard ads for “Fisherman’s Friend” in the CFL game. I’m gonna assume that that is a heated Fleshlight for those lonely hours in the ice-fishing shack.
Close…ish depending on your kink. Cough drops.
THIS PACKERS/BEARS I CALL USE YOUR ILLUSION I BECAUSE IT’S HARD TO HOLD A FOOTBALL IN THE COLD NOVEMBER RAIN.
Bills with the red zone takeaway!
Is it a takeaway if the runner pitches the ball to you?
How dire is Bears Packers? If I go out to watch that’s what will be on, and not at all sure it’s worth it
[puts hands on hips] You’ve got some cleaning up to do young missy! Where are your priorities?
I’ve decided I’m lazy and just gonna let the cleaners chuck everything out
Not worth a thing. Find alternative plans.
there’s sleet which may become snow
Bucs inside the red zone-two run plays and a missed pass on 3rd down. It’s exactly like watching the Giants.
It’s hard to tell which team is the Jets.
3 drives, 3 touchdowns. A live look at both defenses in the RoughRiders/Rough Riders game
where’s the no ofence ,, smh?
I haven’t seen this much scoring since Roy Moore went to a Girl Guides meeting
This is Canada, so you should say Karl Toft
Ty Mont relevant again?
Not with Hundley there. Their season is done IMO
You sweet silly simple glorious bastard…no.
Brandon…LaFell??
Former Patriot. Went to Bengals as returner. The Jones/Sanu Exodus resulted in him being the 2nd best WR on the team.
As Homer said, the 2 happiest words in the dictionary – DE-FAULT!!
Harvard mention! Heroin shot!
Bengals threw the ball….long? Huh.
Kicker’ s still normal, though.
Continuing with unpopular opinioning….
Even with as much shit as we rightly give Leadership, today again shows why we love this shit (especially with RedZone). As bad as this slate was on paper, it’s already delightful 24 minutes in.
THANKS FOAR MAH HEROIN!!
Gamblor nods with approval.
I bet the over in TN/CIN, huzzah!!
Nice job, Jacksonville special teams player who grabs the ball on the 10 yard line WHILE IT’S STILL ROLLING TOWARDS THE END ZONE.
Obligatory “other team’s starting qbs graphic compared to the packers.” BLEACH!
/drink or inject…it don’t matter.
HOLY FUCK WHERE IS EVERYONE’S BUG OUT BAGS?!?!
IT IS END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE! END OF THE FUCKING WORLD!
THE BROWNS HAVE SCORED AND OFFENSIVE TOUCHDOWN! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
#ThePauls have a two score lead. This is NAWT a drill.
I haven’t seen Vikings force their way to get full penetration like that against an indigenous person since L’Anse aux Meadows
I would love to sit in an advertising firm’s meeting with a client.
“We have a tremendous idea for your campaign. We are going to find the most irritating spoke’s person possible, fill in with terrible banter with characters that are morons, and the audio is going to be 20 decibels higher than any normal program should be. This way when they think of your project, they are filled with crippling rage. Emotion is important factor to making purchases”
“So like the Chevy commercials? I fucking hate those”
“Yes exactly! Now give us $10 million please”
Have you ever watched the parodies on youtube with Maahhk from Quinzee. Fucking hilarious.
Zebra Corner on teh tubeyouse.
This?!?!
https://youtu.be/r7eW8g1YriQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZK19lf8yVgU
THIS HUNDLEY I CALL HIM SAMUEL MORSE BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE DOES IS TELEGRAPHED.
John Ross is on the field?! No Bengals! You’re burning his redshirt!
For a second there, I read that as Jim Ross and thought to myself “By gawd King, Business is about to pick up!”
Diggs not dead!
NOT LATAVIUS
Let McKinnon run this in
You cannot have nice things.
at least my money league foe has Latavius on his bench