Your “Nice To See You Again!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.

LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.

Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.

NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.

GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!

NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.

Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.

Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?

Toss some funnies out there, will ya?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Wisdom of the Crowd”? So reddit got their own TV show?

...

I look forward to the episode analyzing skull shape.

Dunstan

On next week’s episode, the leads have to investigate a sexual predator on their own because reddit spends all its time debating whether he’s a pedophile or an ephebophile.

...

My microtarget voter model says that Roy Moore has secured 105% of the paedophile/ephebophile debater segment.

Horatio Cornblower

Nothing like flipping on the TV for the first time and being greeted by an ambulance slowly leaving the field.

Football is awesome.

rockingdog

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Redshirt

What exactly did Burfict do? Did he shove an official? Swat at an official?

Shogun Marcus

Yes, probably. Practice makes Burfict.

Redshirt

Well at least I won’t have Burfict to worry about anymore.

Bortleback

Why isn’t the two unsportsmanlike conduct equals ejection rule called the Burfict rule? Wasn’t it brought in partially because of him?

Redshirt

Actually it was him and Odell Beckham Jr. in that game where he lost his mind.

Contact with an official. TV did show it though, so I’m confused.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, so benching Larry Fitzgerald this week turned out smrt, huh?

Thanks Stanton!!!

Redshirt

Oh, screw you Burfict!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Burfict is the enemy of the good.

Bortleback

Where good = intact knee ligament

rockingdog

hahaha its a touchback NOT a touchdown! Bears got hosed….

Bortleback

A touchback on review – the bears are hilarious!

rockingdog

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Redshirt

Cedric Ogbuehi: Not good at footballing.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Cedric is a cool name though.

rockingdog

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Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought Schnatter was pulling ads from NFL because of kneeling. His pizza ads are all over the place on the NFL Gameday Live on NFL Network, the hosts are even getting some pie delivered to the set.

Senor Weaselo

What did they do to deserve that, kill a puppy?

Redshirt

All praise to Shan’kor!

rockingdog

LOL I don’t know what it is but I really like it when two defensive players run into each other while trying to tackle their opponent…

litre_cola

Throw the fucking ball to Kamara.

King Hippo

this is a shitty fantasy day. Time to #ShameEat entire bag of potato chips for me!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, I am also on board with this.

King Hippo

#ThePauls seem to be reverting to the mean.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ah, but for that one quarter there, ’twas glorious.

King Hippo

Ted Ginn is a walking OPI machine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Feed JuJu plz (nawt auntysimitick)

King Hippo

you said “feed” NAWT “bake” we get it ,, smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey-oh!!

Fronkenshteen

Yup. There goes TyMont.

King Hippo

Hippo sorry, did not see that coming.

Fronkenshteen

Aaron Jones is out. Who could’ve known? Jets & Bucs aren’t exactly lighting it up. Sorry.

King Hippo

merde, it happens

Senor Weaselo

You mean it’s not who gets more penalties and picks?

rockingdog

LOL COW Giants professional DERP Team!!!
UrinatingTree: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMiikipbS98

rockingdog

#Jagginoff Touchdown!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stupid Jaguars blowing the chance for six punts in the first quarter.

/nice fake though.

King Hippo

fake punt TD, pretty nifty

litre_cola

That was fancy.

litre_cola

Good stop for the Vikes.

Fronkenshteen

Britt playing like he knows Coleman & Gordon are coming for his jorb.

litre_cola

There will be a big bag of sativa addressed from him to Josh Gordon very soon.

King Hippo

Humps bet…looking ok!

King Hippo

Still wondering what Jay Gruden sees in Fat Rob Kelley.

King Hippo

who may now be ded and I feel bad FOAR body shaming him

Doktor Zymm

The nickname is actually not weight related somehow. He’s a good rb most of the time

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yay beer.
What’d I miss?

Also, the pretty girl whose cart I ran into at the store (totally not on purpose as far as you know) wasn’t terribly friendly so now I’m sad.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Better luck next time….?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know. I’m rooting for you drop a bomb next time.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Dunstan

I feel like it’s a mistake for Brett Favre to be doing a commercial for Dick’s Sporting Goods.

I mean, I’m sure it’s just a short, small campaign, but…

Spanky Datass

I’m seeing billboard ads for “Fisherman’s Friend” in the CFL game. I’m gonna assume that that is a heated Fleshlight for those lonely hours in the ice-fishing shack.

Shogun Marcus

Close…ish depending on your kink. Cough drops.

Shogun Marcus

THIS PACKERS/BEARS I CALL USE YOUR ILLUSION I BECAUSE IT’S HARD TO HOLD A FOOTBALL IN THE COLD NOVEMBER RAIN.

Gratliff

Is it a takeaway if the runner pitches the ball to you?

Doktor Zymm

How dire is Bears Packers? If I go out to watch that’s what will be on, and not at all sure it’s worth it

Doktor Zymm

I’ve decided I’m lazy and just gonna let the cleaners chuck everything out

Shogun Marcus

Not worth a thing. Find alternative plans.

King Hippo

there’s sleet which may become snow

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s hard to tell which team is the Jets.

Wakezilla

3 drives, 3 touchdowns. A live look at both defenses in the RoughRiders/Rough Riders game

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King Hippo

where’s the no ofence ,, smh?

Dunstan

I haven’t seen this much scoring since Roy Moore went to a Girl Guides meeting

Wakezilla

This is Canada, so you should say Karl Toft

Fronkenshteen

Ty Mont relevant again?

litre_cola

Not with Hundley there. Their season is done IMO

Shogun Marcus

You sweet silly simple glorious bastard…no.

King Hippo

Brandon…LaFell??

Redshirt

Former Patriot. Went to Bengals as returner. The Jones/Sanu Exodus resulted in him being the 2nd best WR on the team.

King Hippo

As Homer said, the 2 happiest words in the dictionary – DE-FAULT!!

Redshirt

Bengals threw the ball….long? Huh.

Redshirt

Kicker’ s still normal, though.

King Hippo

Continuing with unpopular opinioning….

Even with as much shit as we rightly give Leadership, today again shows why we love this shit (especially with RedZone). As bad as this slate was on paper, it’s already delightful 24 minutes in.

THANKS FOAR MAH HEROIN!!

litre_cola

Gamblor nods with approval.

King Hippo

I bet the over in TN/CIN, huzzah!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nice job, Jacksonville special teams player who grabs the ball on the 10 yard line WHILE IT’S STILL ROLLING TOWARDS THE END ZONE.

Shogun Marcus

Obligatory “other team’s starting qbs graphic compared to the packers.” BLEACH!
/drink or inject…it don’t matter.

JustStopDude

HOLY FUCK WHERE IS EVERYONE’S BUG OUT BAGS?!?!

IT IS END OF THE WORLD PEOPLE! END OF THE FUCKING WORLD!

THE BROWNS HAVE SCORED AND OFFENSIVE TOUCHDOWN! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!

JustStopDude

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King Hippo

#ThePauls have a two score lead. This is NAWT a drill.

Wakezilla

I haven’t seen Vikings force their way to get full penetration like that against an indigenous person since L’Anse aux Meadows

JustStopDude

I would love to sit in an advertising firm’s meeting with a client.

“We have a tremendous idea for your campaign. We are going to find the most irritating spoke’s person possible, fill in with terrible banter with characters that are morons, and the audio is going to be 20 decibels higher than any normal program should be. This way when they think of your project, they are filled with crippling rage. Emotion is important factor to making purchases”

“So like the Chevy commercials? I fucking hate those”

“Yes exactly! Now give us $10 million please”

litre_cola

Have you ever watched the parodies on youtube with Maahhk from Quinzee. Fucking hilarious.

Shogun Marcus

Zebra Corner on teh tubeyouse.

JustStopDude
litre_cola
Shogun Marcus

THIS HUNDLEY I CALL HIM SAMUEL MORSE BECAUSE EVERYTHING HE DOES IS TELEGRAPHED.

Redshirt

John Ross is on the field?! No Bengals! You’re burning his redshirt!

Wakezilla

For a second there, I read that as Jim Ross and thought to myself “By gawd King, Business is about to pick up!”

Fronkenshteen

Diggs not dead!

King Hippo

NOT LATAVIUS

King Hippo

Let McKinnon run this in

litre_cola

You cannot have nice things.

King Hippo

at least my money league foe has Latavius on his bench