Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!
Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.
LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.
Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.
NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.
GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!
NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.
Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.
Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?
Toss some funnies out there, will ya?
White people are crazy.
-Ice
touchdown cleveland? touchdown cleveland!
Everyone but Bengals: “Titans are putting #25 on offense. He’s getting the ball.”
Bengals: “Titans are putting #25 on offense. Ignore him; he’s a decoy.”
Happy Redacted’s fan?
gotta settle for a field goal….
A green bay field goal on this drive might mean insurmountable lead
Nice shot at AJ Green by the Steelers, though the takedown didn’t have the killer instinct Green had last week.
Looks like the Bills’ loss to Jets was no fluke. Back to true form.
This has been the longest five football minutes in history here at CIN/TEN.
You put yourself through that every weekend. I feel for ya man.
JUJU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JuJu is fun to say, btw.
Mia Khalifa (whoever that is) can suck a dick.
Oh yeah…. right.
Well, getting a great blowjob from Mia IS something to brag about!
I don’t think he will be. She trolled him (on twitter I think it was) and he shut her down harshly.
Ummmmm….. maybe you heard the joke go by?
-Adolf Hilter
— Richard Spencer
I thought I was the only one
Hehe
I wonder where this Case Keenum was when he started for the Texans. I guess it’s the Bill O’Brien Effect.
Still partying at his alma mater.
“That’s what I love about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Alright alright alright…
Due to crab stealers injury I was forced to start Keenum in my money league. Heehee
yea litre_cola!!
What are the odds the Bears show up on Red Zone before lady BFC gets to the airport to pick me up?
Does it count if they’re getting scored upon?
Regarding Lady BFC…same question.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HhJoKWzZho
She’s coming in 2020. Otherwise I wouldsay not good.
Fun Viking are about to score again! Yea!!!!
Wait what how did the score get so high so fast?
Jets CB flag, drink to Bleergh!
Edelman and Amendola in Mexico City ain’t gonna hold a candle to Tabula Raza and Shipmates in Olongapo City.
Only the Bengals would run a screen without blockers for the receiver.
I’m not sure how Bucs-Jets can get worse. Anyone got ideas?
Canadian Bacon 2: Katrina’s Revenge?
one of the players catches on fire. like Spontaneous human combustion!!!!
Wait, is that worse or better?
Put in Bryce Petty?
Good bets: Indy, Shitty Clippers, Cin/TN (over)
Bad bets: BUF (moneyline), TB/NYJ (over)
Pending: DAL (moneyline), P*ts
god dammit shitty LA chargers scored again! Shit!
Well, I am comforted with the notion that Indy was at least my largest bet (by far) today.
So Southwest Airlines did a commercial involving elderly custodial interference at best, kidnapping at worst?
Wait, we’re anti-kidnapping?
“So glad I started Donte Moncrief today!”
– also nobody
These Cialis ads just keep getting weirder.
HOWDY POOPIN BUDDY
Ideally, they’re supposed to be facing opposite directions:
https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-love-toilet/n10153
“Oh, report me to OSHA for not having enough bathrooms for our number of employees, eh? I’ll show you…”
a’ight, let’s have 2nd half shootout in Tampa for me and Fronk!
I need Tampa please. Have them parlayed with SKOL.
Robby Anderson needs some love. Just saying.
They didn’t call a penalty on the Lions for that Figure Four Leglock on Kizer? Oh, BLEERGH.
Throwing my Keurig at my TV as an NFL player kneels to own the libs.
The whole machine or just the spent cup?
You aren’t owning the libs by throwing just the cup, cuck.
Thank you. I am unfamiliar with the protocols.
I am interested in how one goes about boycotting something one has already purchased. Seems like it might cause tearing in the space-time continuum.
Big guy TD! Big Guy TD!
Of course you could run a Mack truck through there. Any defensive player would get completely squashed by a Mack truck.
Oh, Browns. Of all the Cleveland teams, you’re the Charlie Browniest.
That’s so #ThePauls
I cannot fathom the logic of that play call or else Kizer is calling his own plays….what the flying fuck?
Andy Reid just said, “wow, that’s bad clock management.”
Ryan Succop is a top notch human being, I tell ya what.
Leapfrog. Not bad.
I enjoyed it.
[hurdles defender]
– Pierre Garcon
Add to the list of TD celebrations: leapfrog (VIkes).
Mant’e T’eo is a Saint.
Just like his ex.
Shitty ClippersDOWN!!!
Here’s a song because in spite of a Bengals QB, the defense and a Bengals RB wearing #28 is keeping the Bengals in the game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblt2EtFfC4
Throw it to JuJu dammit.
Wouldn’t it be something is John Fox is really just Jeff Fisher’s spiritual twin and replacing him with a competent coach would make Trubisky and the Bears… good?
Remember…the Truth is out there…
/photoshopped X-Files poster with floating #10 biscuit in place of spaceship
why are all the announcers saying “red area” all of a sudden?
Maybe they’re chafed?
Because zones are commie propaganda. All players share the work and benefits. Real ‘Murricans want that hard man to man action.
https://youtu.be/ozXMsFZMydw
Can a Bengal shove Dalton at a ref, please?
Browns fumble and the Lions return it for a touchdown.
Biggest point lead of the year (10) and the Browns can’t even make it to the second half before they lose it.
Browns-Lions is my dream Super Bowl. I hope I see it before I die.
Dalton is such shit
hahahaha they had Croft 1 on 1….what an idiot!
THESE PACKER/BEAR QUARTERBACKS I CALL THEM ANDY & OLLIE PESTO. THAT’S IT.
That’s MOAR like it #ThePauls
Redacted Radio on Cousins being in a scrum:
“He was just surrounded by MANHOOD in there!”
I love local radio.
Careful, a Cousins surrounded by manhood might be a profitable video but is still illegal in several states.
Isn’t someone supposed to post some kind of sly Aaron Rodgers reference here?
Bengals can run the ball longer than two yards?
EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!!!!
I’m terrible.
No I’M TERRIBLE!
Guys, you’re all pretty awful.
She should really show some respect for the flag by taking that off smh
I’d be fine with her kneeling.
Just saying.
Two Philip Rivers passes batted down in a row. Put some air under it, Laserface!