Your “Nice To See You Again!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.

LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.

Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.

NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.

GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!

NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.

Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.

Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?

Toss some funnies out there, will ya?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

White people are crazy.

-Ice

rockingdog

touchdown cleveland? touchdown cleveland!

Redshirt

Everyone but Bengals: “Titans are putting #25 on offense. He’s getting the ball.”
Bengals: “Titans are putting #25 on offense. Ignore him; he’s a decoy.”

rockingdog

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Happy Redacted’s fan?

rockingdog

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gotta settle for a field goal….

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A green bay field goal on this drive might mean insurmountable lead

Redshirt

Nice shot at AJ Green by the Steelers, though the takedown didn’t have the killer instinct Green had last week.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Looks like the Bills’ loss to Jets was no fluke. Back to true form.

Redshirt

This has been the longest five football minutes in history here at CIN/TEN.

litre_cola

You put yourself through that every weekend. I feel for ya man.

Redshirt

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theeWeeBabySeamus

JUJU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

JuJu is fun to say, btw.

rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Mia Khalifa (whoever that is) can suck a dick.

Oh yeah…. right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, getting a great blowjob from Mia IS something to brag about!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t think he will be. She trolled him (on twitter I think it was) and he shut her down harshly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ummmmm….. maybe you heard the joke go by?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Adolf Hilter

Viva La Tabula Raza

— Richard Spencer

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought I was the only one

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehe

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder where this Case Keenum was when he started for the Texans. I guess it’s the Bill O’Brien Effect.

litre_cola

Still partying at his alma mater.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“That’s what I love about these college girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Alright alright alright…

litre_cola

Due to crab stealers injury I was forced to start Keenum in my money league. Heehee

rockingdog

yea litre_cola!! comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What are the odds the Bears show up on Red Zone before lady BFC gets to the airport to pick me up?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Does it count if they’re getting scored upon?
Regarding Lady BFC…same question.

litre_cola
nomonkeyfun

She’s coming in 2020. Otherwise I wouldsay not good.

rockingdog

Fun Viking are about to score again! Yea!!!!

hippofant

Wait what how did the score get so high so fast?

Senor Weaselo

Jets CB flag, drink to Bleergh!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Edelman and Amendola in Mexico City ain’t gonna hold a candle to Tabula Raza and Shipmates in Olongapo City.

Redshirt

Only the Bengals would run a screen without blockers for the receiver.

Senor Weaselo

I’m not sure how Bucs-Jets can get worse. Anyone got ideas?

Redshirt

Canadian Bacon 2: Katrina’s Revenge?

rockingdog

one of the players catches on fire. like Spontaneous human combustion!!!!

hippofant

Wait, is that worse or better?

Spanky Datass

Put in Bryce Petty?

King Hippo

Good bets: Indy, Shitty Clippers, Cin/TN (over)

Bad bets: BUF (moneyline), TB/NYJ (over)

Pending: DAL (moneyline), P*ts

rockingdog

god dammit shitty LA chargers scored again! Shit!

rockingdog

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King Hippo

Well, I am comforted with the notion that Indy was at least my largest bet (by far) today.

Redshirt

So Southwest Airlines did a commercial involving elderly custodial interference at best, kidnapping at worst?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wait, we’re anti-kidnapping?

King Hippo

“So glad I started Donte Moncrief today!”

– also nobody

rockingdog

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Dunstan

These Cialis ads just keep getting weirder.

...

HOWDY POOPIN BUDDY

Dunstan

Ideally, they’re supposed to be facing opposite directions:

https://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-love-toilet/n10153

herodotus450

“Oh, report me to OSHA for not having enough bathrooms for our number of employees, eh? I’ll show you…”

King Hippo

a’ight, let’s have 2nd half shootout in Tampa for me and Fronk!

litre_cola

I need Tampa please. Have them parlayed with SKOL.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Robby Anderson needs some love. Just saying.

Redshirt

They didn’t call a penalty on the Lions for that Figure Four Leglock on Kizer? Oh, BLEERGH.

rockingdog

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...

Throwing my Keurig at my TV as an NFL player kneels to own the libs.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The whole machine or just the spent cup?

...

You aren’t owning the libs by throwing just the cup, cuck.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Thank you. I am unfamiliar with the protocols.

Dolph Ucker

I am interested in how one goes about boycotting something one has already purchased. Seems like it might cause tearing in the space-time continuum.

rockingdog

Big guy TD! Big Guy TD!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Of course you could run a Mack truck through there. Any defensive player would get completely squashed by a Mack truck.

Dunstan

Oh, Browns. Of all the Cleveland teams, you’re the Charlie Browniest.

King Hippo

That’s so #ThePauls

JustStopDude

I cannot fathom the logic of that play call or else Kizer is calling his own plays….what the flying fuck?

Dunstan

Andy Reid just said, “wow, that’s bad clock management.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ryan Succop is a top notch human being, I tell ya what.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Leapfrog. Not bad.

litre_cola

I enjoyed it.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[hurdles defender]

– Pierre Garcon

Petronel

Add to the list of TD celebrations: leapfrog (VIkes).

Horatio Cornblower

Mant’e T’eo is a Saint.

Just like his ex.

King Hippo

Shitty ClippersDOWN!!!

Redshirt

Here’s a song because in spite of a Bengals QB, the defense and a Bengals RB wearing #28 is keeping the Bengals in the game.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rblt2EtFfC4

theeWeeBabySeamus

Throw it to JuJu dammit.

...

Wouldn’t it be something is John Fox is really just Jeff Fisher’s spiritual twin and replacing him with a competent coach would make Trubisky and the Bears… good?

King Hippo

Remember…the Truth is out there…

...

/photoshopped X-Files poster with floating #10 biscuit in place of spaceship

King Hippo

why are all the announcers saying “red area” all of a sudden?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe they’re chafed?

nomonkeyfun

Because zones are commie propaganda. All players share the work and benefits. Real ‘Murricans want that hard man to man action.

JustStopDude
Redshirt

Can a Bengal shove Dalton at a ref, please?

JustStopDude

Browns fumble and the Lions return it for a touchdown.

Biggest point lead of the year (10) and the Browns can’t even make it to the second half before they lose it.

...

Browns-Lions is my dream Super Bowl. I hope I see it before I die.

King Hippo

Dalton is such shit

rockingdog

hahahaha they had Croft 1 on 1….what an idiot!

Shogun Marcus

THESE PACKER/BEAR QUARTERBACKS I CALL THEM ANDY & OLLIE PESTO. THAT’S IT.

King Hippo

That’s MOAR like it #ThePauls

Petronel

Redacted Radio on Cousins being in a scrum:

“He was just surrounded by MANHOOD in there!”

I love local radio.

herodotus450

Careful, a Cousins surrounded by manhood might be a profitable video but is still illegal in several states.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Isn’t someone supposed to post some kind of sly Aaron Rodgers reference here?

Redshirt

Bengals can run the ball longer than two yards?

EVERYTHING I KNOW IS A LIE!!!!!!

Shogun Marcus

I’m terrible.
No I’M TERRIBLE!
Guys, you’re all pretty awful.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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rockingdog

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Bortleback

She should really show some respect for the flag by taking that off smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d be fine with her kneeling.
Just saying.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Two Philip Rivers passes batted down in a row. Put some air under it, Laserface!