[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!
Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.
*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted
Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.
NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.
It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.
MY PARENTS AT 33: “With a third child on the way, we should move into a house with more room, even if we both have to get second jobs to afford it.”
ME AT 33: “I’m cold, but I don’t really feel like putting on socks.”
ROY MOORE AT 33: I wonder who I should take to prom this year.
FOZZ AT 33: Well thank God I’m only angry half of the time.
It’s still very possible for us to fuck this up…
BUT…
…maybe?
(Also BWAHAHAHA Grunts)
The Cowboys asked the NFL if they could do a celebration where Jason Garrett jerked off on the whole team, they said yes but Garrett couldn’t use the football
hahaahaha rememebr when Chip kelly used to coach the 9ers
Oh Myyyyy indeed
The Giants are literally just trying not to get hurt.
Emotionally.
Fuck Atlanta. Varsity is overrated too.
This one’s on the Dallas defense. They phoned that shit in.
No, this one is on me. I started Prescott and sat ryan
Troy, the Falcons aren’t taking a lot off the clock because it appears they really don’t have to.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2XvW38UKEI
cool song!
https://www.thecut.com/2017/11/florida-man-faces-eviction-over-his-beloved-pet-squirrel.html
yea Florida!
DAK better get a doctor’s note before he gets eaten alive against the Eagles’ line.
They just need to forfeit that game.
don’t get cocky. the battery gets thrown both ways.
For whom the D cell tolls…
I’m a fan of those big 6 volt fuckers you never see anymore. Mass + velocity and all.
Tough at distance; best to have both.
F = ma ,, ppl forget that
I actually had a gruff old engineering professor (8am class) who before one exam said “people keep asking me why I don’t let everyone have all the necessary equations listed for the exams, and you know what, they’re right”
and wrote a giant “F = ma” on the board
/we still had boards back then
F=ma,
-Edited version of what Pa did.
Good news guys! I just signed up for my Wed Architecture class! Whaoooo!
Good to see Andrew Luck is keeping busy while on the IR
Barn-raising 101.
OK, so what will it be, Universe? Hippo goes 4-3 for the day on NFL bets (and gets above 50% shame mark in making back losses), or do his Donks beat the fucking Pats??
Universe: “Wait, New England can always win by less than a TD…”
If I participated in Facebook, that’s my status
That upvote was for the “if” part.
Hey, at least you are in a relationship.
Is Chaz Green allowed to use a firearm?
DAK! needs to rip his O-line a new one when this is over.
WOO!!!! Not Carlos HydeDOWN!!!!
Okay, are my eyes playing tricks on me, or after that last touchdown to someone not named Julio Jones, did Matt Ryan flip double middle fingers to the camera while yelling “FUCK YOU BROCKY!!!”?
I kinda blacked out there. Might be my imagination
I saw it too; you should take that touchdown PERSONALLY.
Come Dallas, get a quick TD. show some fight.
Gonna be a long six games.
Gonna be a good draft pick next year.
our long time neighbors are Samoans (my sister is married to a Samoan too) and a Tongan family moved in the neighborhood about a month ago. So far each family is flying their respective flags each day. I expect competing BBQs next. I hoped to be invited to both.
Apparently, each group accuses the other of wiping their asses with rocks and eating horse meat.
Um, you sure about that BBQ…all things considered?
Do they even have horses in Samoa or Tonga?
unknown, but the shit talking has been great. Our local High School’s Football team is going to be stacked in the upcoming years.
Just GREAT, now they do.
That’s like round here, where I got 5 different Latino countries represented. Once they find out this white boy loves food, it IS ON. I get care plates fairly regular. Excellent.
Time to check on the ol’ TIVO queue.
I no longer have to beat myself up about benching Captain Dingleberry Cousins. Baby Buster es el Saviour.
When did the Falcons get good receivers?
Um……
Or more like why does Dallas have such shitty pass coverage?
Julio Jones is one of the best in the league, Mohamed Sanu is a good second on the team, Taylor Gabriel, is one of the fastest, last year they passed for almost 5,000 yards.
Dallas’s secondary as been a weak point for years, although in fairness I think the last couple of years it’s because the front seven couldn’t get to the other QB in less than six minutes.
the guy am playing against this week has Robert Woods on the bench.
Isn’t that delightful?
Well, moral victory for Texans for at least hanging in for a half.
Who? You watching soccer?
Iggles-Rammit is gonna be some defense optional bullshit, isn’t it?
Beautiful game for the non-affiliated
Are we sure that’s not Chaz Bono playing guard? Great this guy some help.
Margin down to 24! Go Baby Buster!!!
THERE is a WatkinsDOWN for whoever I gave shitty advice to!
Fucking kicker.
Well, no I can admit it; he banged my exGF too.
Isn’t a DOINK 10 points? Well, it should be.
Setting the O/U for Dak Sacks next week at 13
Stupidest play call off the game. So far.
Worried about Gints picking up a franchise QB in the draft, but loving the idea of them losing to the fucking Niners
He’s really a good back if you give him a little blocking. Giving up after 6 carries was silly.
Morris pleases me.
Scotchy, PLEASE tell your creep-ass paedo-looking coach to utilize Evan Engram. Yours in Christ, Hippo.
Not the time to get finicky.
/raise your hand if old enough to remember this fondly
All too well.
Yes, especially when I found out they used around twenty of them; when they outlived the usefulness they gassed them….. or took them to the cat farm.
Just like Menudo!
I was kidding; apparently that cat lasted around twenty years. Doesn’t make your joke any less funny though.
That’s one way to handle the lack of a running back
Did so well in DFO ball that I cut by bye week fill-in kicker for a RB flier, but NEED money league win.
/also am $0.03 shy of the magic 50% of original stake mark in gamblor
I’m see Dallas has returned to their “flag on every play” technique.
Man, there are literally hundreds of people in attendance at that Rams game.
SEE!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!! fever is catching on, after all. YEAH!!
Well, SF guy, if ya gonna hold, at least ya got yer money’s worth
You’re actually watching that game?!?!
RedZone magick!!
NOTE TO SELF: Do not bet on Cowboys.
/did not bet very much
“Always bet on Dak!”
See, that’s a play on words there from…nevermind.
A movie line AND how I bet on boxing ,, no ofence
Fuck football.
Maybe deflate it and and refill it with warm pudding first
mmmmm…pudding.
keep throwing, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!
goddamn that looked painful
Scandrick got JPP’d.
he blew his own hand off??
Had some help.
go fight win!!!!