Your “One of These Games Just Doesn’t Belong” 4 Spot Slate Open Thread

[scans dessert menu] Oh my, look what we have here! That Creme Brulee looks wonderful. Oooooo, maybe I’ll go for the Baked Alaska-I’ve heard great things about it from my yoga instructor. [looks to bottom of menu] Hmmm. An unopened sugar packet on a cow’s tongue? Why would they even bother putting that on the menu? Are they just trying to fill space? Speaking of… TO THE GAMES!

Hou/LAR: The “How Can You Not Cheer For Them?”* Rams have scored an average of 36 ppg in their last four victories. Did I follow my own advice that I shared with you folks a few weeks ago and stash Goff at the bottom of my roster for safekeeping? Sure I did-for about five days or so and then moved on to larger mistakes. I dislike being stupid. I highly recommend against it if you can help it. The Texans have barely scored more points than they’ve given up as is the way of many 3-5 teams. His Below-Average-ness, Tom Savage Garden is entrusted to get the team going just like he didn’t in the vast majority of all the other games he’s started.

*Abandoned St. Louisians excepted

Dal/Atl: The Cowboys have cobbled together three straight wins but now are without Zeke. This is good news for a reeling Falcons team that has lost four of its last five. Remember Tevin Coleman? OC Steve Sarkasian hasn’t. That rb that is particularly proficient at catching balls out of the backfield has been fed three passes in the last four games. This is gross misuse of talent along the lines of Marcus Allen under Al Davis. Still, given that the Dallas D gives up 4.4 yards per rush maybe the Foreman/Coleman duo should be given the ball 30+ times today. Of course a little pitch and catch between Ryan and Jones (if he’s healthy) should be thrown in there as well.

NYG/SF: Did I mention something about telling your loved ones how important they are to you? I did? Well, go ahead.

It’s all over except for my crying. Do what you do.

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rockingdog

MY PARENTS AT 33: “With a third child on the way, we should move into a house with more room, even if we both have to get second jobs to afford it.”

ME AT 33: “I’m cold, but I don’t really feel like putting on socks.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ROY MOORE AT 33: I wonder who I should take to prom this year.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

FOZZ AT 33: Well thank God I’m only angry half of the time.

Petronel

It’s still very possible for us to fuck this up…

BUT…

…maybe?

(Also BWAHAHAHA Grunts)

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Cowboys asked the NFL if they could do a celebration where Jason Garrett jerked off on the whole team, they said yes but Garrett couldn’t use the football

rockingdog

hahaahaha rememebr when Chip kelly used to coach the 9erscomment image

rockingdog

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Oh Myyyyy indeed

Horatio Cornblower

The Giants are literally just trying not to get hurt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Emotionally.

Spur

Fuck Atlanta. Varsity is overrated too.
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Romonobyl

This one’s on the Dallas defense. They phoned that shit in.

Brocky

No, this one is on me. I started Prescott and sat ryan

Viva La Tabula Raza

Troy, the Falcons aren’t taking a lot off the clock because it appears they really don’t have to.

Spur
rockingdog

cool song!

Gratliff

DAK better get a doctor’s note before he gets eaten alive against the Eagles’ line.

Romonobyl

They just need to forfeit that game.

Spur

don’t get cocky. the battery gets thrown both ways.

King Hippo

For whom the D cell tolls…

Romonobyl

I’m a fan of those big 6 volt fuckers you never see anymore. Mass + velocity and all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tough at distance; best to have both.

King Hippo

F = ma ,, ppl forget that

I actually had a gruff old engineering professor (8am class) who before one exam said “people keep asking me why I don’t let everyone have all the necessary equations listed for the exams, and you know what, they’re right”

and wrote a giant “F = ma” on the board

/we still had boards back then

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

F=ma,

-Edited version of what Pa did.

rockingdog

Good news guys! I just signed up for my Wed Architecture class! Whaoooo!

Horatio Cornblower

Good to see Andrew Luck is keeping busy while on the IR

Romonobyl

Barn-raising 101.

King Hippo

OK, so what will it be, Universe? Hippo goes 4-3 for the day on NFL bets (and gets above 50% shame mark in making back losses), or do his Donks beat the fucking Pats??

Universe: “Wait, New England can always win by less than a TD…”

rockingdog

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King Hippo

If I participated in Facebook, that’s my status

Romonobyl

That upvote was for the “if” part.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hey, at least you are in a relationship.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Is Chaz Green allowed to use a firearm?

Romonobyl

DAK! needs to rip his O-line a new one when this is over.

King Hippo

WOO!!!! Not Carlos HydeDOWN!!!!

Brocky

Okay, are my eyes playing tricks on me, or after that last touchdown to someone not named Julio Jones, did Matt Ryan flip double middle fingers to the camera while yelling “FUCK YOU BROCKY!!!”?

I kinda blacked out there. Might be my imagination

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I saw it too; you should take that touchdown PERSONALLY.

Spur

Come Dallas, get a quick TD. show some fight.

Romonobyl

Gonna be a long six games.

Horatio Cornblower

Gonna be a good draft pick next year.

Spur

our long time neighbors are Samoans (my sister is married to a Samoan too) and a Tongan family moved in the neighborhood about a month ago. So far each family is flying their respective flags each day. I expect competing BBQs next. I hoped to be invited to both.

Apparently, each group accuses the other of wiping their asses with rocks and eating horse meat.

Romonobyl

Um, you sure about that BBQ…all things considered?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Do they even have horses in Samoa or Tonga?

Spur

unknown, but the shit talking has been great. Our local High School’s Football team is going to be stacked in the upcoming years.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just GREAT, now they do.

Shogun Marcus

That’s like round here, where I got 5 different Latino countries represented. Once they find out this white boy loves food, it IS ON. I get care plates fairly regular. Excellent.

Romonobyl

Time to check on the ol’ TIVO queue.

King Hippo

I no longer have to beat myself up about benching Captain Dingleberry Cousins. Baby Buster es el Saviour.

Romonobyl

When did the Falcons get good receivers?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um……

Romonobyl

Or more like why does Dallas have such shitty pass coverage?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Julio Jones is one of the best in the league, Mohamed Sanu is a good second on the team, Taylor Gabriel, is one of the fastest, last year they passed for almost 5,000 yards.

Horatio Cornblower

Dallas’s secondary as been a weak point for years, although in fairness I think the last couple of years it’s because the front seven couldn’t get to the other QB in less than six minutes.

Spur

the guy am playing against this week has Robert Woods on the bench.

King Hippo

Isn’t that delightful?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Well, moral victory for Texans for at least hanging in for a half.

Romonobyl

Who? You watching soccer?

Gratliff

Iggles-Rammit is gonna be some defense optional bullshit, isn’t it?

King Hippo

Beautiful game for the non-affiliated

Spur

Are we sure that’s not Chaz Bono playing guard? Great this guy some help.

King Hippo

Margin down to 24! Go Baby Buster!!!

King Hippo

THERE is a WatkinsDOWN for whoever I gave shitty advice to!

Spur

Fucking kicker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, no I can admit it; he banged my exGF too.

Romonobyl

Isn’t a DOINK 10 points? Well, it should be.

Gratliff

Setting the O/U for Dak Sacks next week at 13

Romonobyl

Stupidest play call off the game. So far.

Gratliff

Worried about Gints picking up a franchise QB in the draft, but loving the idea of them losing to the fucking Niners

King Hippo

He’s really a good back if you give him a little blocking. Giving up after 6 carries was silly.

Spur

Morris pleases me.

Romonobyl

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King Hippo

Scotchy, PLEASE tell your creep-ass paedo-looking coach to utilize Evan Engram. Yours in Christ, Hippo.

Romonobyl

Not the time to get finicky.

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King Hippo

/raise your hand if old enough to remember this fondly

Romonobyl

All too well.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, especially when I found out they used around twenty of them; when they outlived the usefulness they gassed them….. or took them to the cat farm.

Romonobyl

Just like Menudo!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I was kidding; apparently that cat lasted around twenty years. Doesn’t make your joke any less funny though.

Gratliff

That’s one way to handle the lack of a running back

King Hippo

Did so well in DFO ball that I cut by bye week fill-in kicker for a RB flier, but NEED money league win.

/also am $0.03 shy of the magic 50% of original stake mark in gamblor

Romonobyl

I’m see Dallas has returned to their “flag on every play” technique.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, there are literally hundreds of people in attendance at that Rams game.

King Hippo

SEE!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!! fever is catching on, after all. YEAH!!

King Hippo

Well, SF guy, if ya gonna hold, at least ya got yer money’s worth

Romonobyl

You’re actually watching that game?!?!

King Hippo

RedZone magick!!

King Hippo

NOTE TO SELF: Do not bet on Cowboys.

/did not bet very much

Romonobyl

“Always bet on Dak!”
See, that’s a play on words there from…nevermind.

King Hippo

A movie line AND how I bet on boxing ,, no ofence

Romonobyl

Fuck football.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe deflate it and and refill it with warm pudding first

Romonobyl

mmmmm…pudding.

King Hippo

keep throwing, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!!!

Gratliff

goddamn that looked painful

Romonobyl

Scandrick got JPP’d.

King Hippo

he blew his own hand off??

Romonobyl

Had some help.

rockingdog

go fight win!!!!