NFL News:
- Jay Cutler has been placed in concussion protocol.
- They weren’t sure if anything was wrong until the doctor asked where he was and Cutty replied, “at your office, to get my kids vaccinated”.
- Might as well just give the Pats the division at this point.
- The rumours are coming down, via Sporting News, that the upcoming ESPN layoffs could add up to between 80-100 people.
- “ESPN is dealing with three simple math problems. They have fewer subscribers than they planned for. They have higher costs than they planned for. They lower ratings than they hoped for,” said one source.
- The Bears have cut Connor Barth and signed Cairo Santos.
- That’ll show anyone else who questions Foxy’s leadership that 10-32 is a serious record to a serious man.
- EVERYTHING’S FINE! – Broncos edition:
- Mike McCoy is the first one to pay for the losing streak.
- Because the offensive coordinator was clearly responsible for signing Brock Osweiler & Trevor Siemian.
- John Elway says the Broncos have gotten “a little bit soft”.
- Some players are perturbed
- Mike McCoy is the first one to pay for the losing streak.
A devastated CJ Anderson on his fumble in the fourth:
"This shit hurts man"#Broncos #BroncosCountry@@CBSDenver pic.twitter.com/qgcIMhNAvM
— RG 📷 (@RyanGreeneDNVR) November 20, 2017
- Stealing from Crimebeat! – Packers edition
- Only coming out now because of the court date last week, injured Packers RB Aaron Jones was stopped on October 1 for a litany of charges.
- According to records obtained by ESPN, operating a vehicle with a controlled substance in his system, speeding (24 mph over the posted speed limit of 55) and operating a vehicle without a valid license.
- “controlled substance” = the Mary Jane
- According to records obtained by ESPN, operating a vehicle with a controlled substance in his system, speeding (24 mph over the posted speed limit of 55) and operating a vehicle without a valid license.
- The League will step in once the legal process has concluded.
- Only coming out now because of the court date last week, injured Packers RB Aaron Jones was stopped on October 1 for a litany of charges.
Finally, the Georgia Dome was imploded today.
It was adjacent to the new stadium, also has a roof that didn’t open, and has Donald Trump wondering why the building to the south of it in this picture wasn’t also taken down as “collateral damage”.
#FAKENEWS
Didja miss me?
Before you shatter my ego, let me just say this. I was supposed to be away two weeks because of:
- Vacation; and really just my wife’s need to take a trip to keep her airline status; and
- Because I was supposed to be away this week due to another colonoscopy.
But, after the trip got wrapped up, the procedure was cancelled late last week. So, I asked the DFO executrixes if I could resume my duties until I’m rebooked & have to go back into the hospital. They gave me a resounding “ehh…sure?”, so here I am.
There will be a “Boots on the Ground” from the trip, hopefully tomorrow. I’ve been rebooked for December 8th, so I’ll be here up until the 6th. Mazel Tov!
Game preview: Falcons at Seahawks
Had everything gone right with my procedure, I would have had today & tomorrow off “sick” so I could have attended this game in person. However, given the crappy weather & snow above 1500 feet, I’m actually glad I’m not driving south today to go watch this thing.
I guess it’s good they imploded the Georgia Dome while Atlanta is in Seattle, so Pete Carroll can forgo any defensive game planning to instead grill Arthur Blank & Dan Quinn about who else was involved in bringing down the dome.
The point spread is still three points & favours the Seahawks, but that seems kind of flexible. The Hawks are down to backups & recent signees at most of the defensive positions, and still have no running game to speak of. There’s going to be more Legion of Boom members in streets on the sidelines than playing in the game. Dwight Freeney might’ve preferred to have stayed retired. Seattle’s game preview on their website reads like a cult leader trying to deny anything’s wrong. If the Charmslinger survives the game upright, that might be the sole victory Pete Carroll takes from the contest.
Meanwhile, the Atlanta defense is coming off beating the Cowboys hard; it’s never good when the broadcast compares the number of sacks Dak takes to rookie Troy Aikman, although I’m sure he’s glad for the refresher since he doesn’t remember that year. The Falcons offense is alright at best, and Julio Jones should be able to exploit whatever converted lacrosse players the Seahawks will have playing safety. If the Falcons O-line can keep Matt Ryan from being beat into becoming the checkdown-king, he should get over 300 yards. The key tonight will be Devonta Freeman; if he has over 30 yards by the end of the first quarter, it’s going to be a long night for the 12s because having to focus on stopping the run will expose Seattle’s zone defence to Atlanta’s air attack.
I’ve got pulled pork marinating in the fridge, which is going into the oven the second I get home from school, so I predict the only true winner tonight will be my taste buds.
Tonight’s sports:
- Monday Night Football:
- Atlanta Falcons at Seattle Seahawks – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- NHL:
- Columbus at Buffalo – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- Ducks at Sharks – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Thunder at Pelicans – 8:00PM | TSN2
- NCAA:
- Men’s Basketball:
- Texas A&M at Oklahoma State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
- Hampton at Xavier – 8:30PM | FS1
- Baylor at Wisconsin – 9:30PM | ESPN2
- Michigan at LSU – 11:00PM | ESPNU
- U*NC at Stanford – 11:30PM | ESPN2
- Men’s Basketball:
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- the post-Survivor Series show – getting things set up for the Rumble
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
It’s good to be back in the saddle. AT LEAST I CAN STILL SIT! FOR NOW!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3YGtQ40Qvs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWyHNsKTIlM
That’s the kind of tackling that melts steel beams.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dw-axqRpQo8
I am remarkably aroused.
So AT&T is trying to buy Time Warner. If successful, they have to call themselves Skynet. Why fight it?
Hold up. What were you saying about not fighting SkyNet?
Getting the local commercials right now and I swear on my kids I have never seen a woman more goddamn delighted at the prospect of getting a mammogram.
I’ve fallen and I can’t get up…
I’ve seen that commercial like 7 fucking times this game.
the only thing in this world that I consistently like is my cat. Football is at about 85%. Nothing else over 50
How far down the list is “life?”
somewhere near “taking the ded Xmas tree to the curb”
You realize that if he was much bigger, your cat would kill you in your sleep. I know mine would.
well, yeah. At least if he was bigger before he got to know us. I know my food chain. But this one in particular has “dog loyalty” but with the cat advantages (hygiene, low maintenance, etc).
A dog will at least give your body a grace period before resorting to eating you. The cat’s gonna wander in after you’ve been dead for 15 minutes, go “Oh hey, what’s this?” and dig in.
Alcohol gets pretty high approval ratings in my home
Ditto. And the cat is on thin ice whether she knows it or not.
Bitch bit me again today just for scratching the ol’ belly.
DON’T ROLL OVER IF YOU DON’T WANT IT!!!!!!!
(yikes….flashback)
Cats are like people as they get old, they begin to give no fucks. We have an old rescue beast that will stand his ground against our doofus German Shepherd that’s 8 times his size.
That puppie’s had more than a few snoot-fulls of claws over the years.
I really should rename my cat “Church” I think.
Go ahead. He won’t answer to the new name either.
You resent the hell out of it and only go through the motions to get your wife off your back?
Fortunately, I’ve got the cat but no wife. So I’ve got that going for me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpjpUOXQZac
Oops
That movie ruined lots of things.
I went so many years thinking Lynch’s Dune was what the book was, but I never read it. When they did the miniseries on Sci-Fi or whatever, I was extremely confused.
I moved the post to the right spot, see below pleeeze.
I feel like this should resonate with the regulars
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHZGy1LXcA0
I was just wondering if I should get into the scotch. I’mma take this as the cosmos saying “Yes. Yes you should.”
It must be exhausting to play defense against Charmslinger.
“Russell, can’t we just have sex?”
“No, I told you, Jesus will make me throw another interception in the Super Bowl if we do that. Now tell me, do my underarms smell OK? I’m going out with Aaron Rodgers and he always smells so good.”
This MNF game is pretty fucking good.
My reaction to Julio Jones targets being triple his catches
https://giphy.com/gifs/bobs-burgers-louise-belcher-eye-twitch-FP6NavXtvj20?utm_source=media-link&utm_medium=landing&utm_campaign=Media%20Links&utm_term=
Am out.
What’s the worst highly-regarded book you’ve ever read
Bible. Needed more speedboat chases.
and plain motorboating…..
Any postwar “literature” about some generic white guy living his life like that is worth reading about.
I thought “The Old Man and The Sea” was kind of fucking stupid, really. Just a bunch of pissing in the ocean and reading baseball scores.
Ha! Another one I liked.
Lady Shogun says Pride & Prejudice. Frankenstein also bad.
Me say Anne Rice in general as I haven’t hit too many Classics.
Frankenstein is one of my favorites, to each their own I guess. I don’t care for Stephen King or GoT books, but those fuckers are popular.
She says it’s long-winded. Which is how I view ms. Rice. Neither of us care about king or GoT either.
I have never read White Rice, mainly because I didn’t want to read the subject matter. I did like Shogun, in fact I couldn’t put it down, but did not like the other two of his I read.
Assume you are talking about Clavell? Which were the other two? His King Rat was excellent, I’ve read it a number of times over the last 40 years.
Iberia was great.
Got me.
Oops. That was Michener.
I guess I shouldn’t say “did not like” because I read both Tai-Pan and Noble House all the way through and got into the stories, it was just after Shōgun I felt a little disappointed; probably would have rated them higher had I read them before.
GRRM’s books are unreadable. He’s great at ensuring continuity, but he needs an editor and the guys behind the series have done a great job. I actually like the later seasons more because they don’t waste time.
Frankenstein gets bonus points for being the story Mary Shelley came up with to get out of the writer’s retreat turning into an orgy.
Mary Shelley (1797-1851)
Bram Stoker (1847-1912)
Catcher in the Rye
Just the fuck up, join the Army, or kill yourself, you whiny twat. Holden Caulfield was the original dipshit hipster douche.
Silver medal goes to American Psycho. Brilliant movie, and I couldn’t bring myself to try to finish that dreck.
No shit. That movie is one of my all time favorites, that book was just an absolute slog.
I didn’t care for that either; it seemed more “fashionable” than cutting edge or a newer take.
That’s why I chose Russian shit whenever I could wrt high school literature. They didn’t fuck around and whine about their feelings re alcoholism and suicide, they just fucking went for the gold.
“We” by Yevgeny Zamyatin blows 1984 out of the water.
shall put that on my Amazon list
Part of the appeal of the book was a loathsome self-tormentor to me, but then again I was not a lit major.
I also read it in Jr. High.
Fuck that book so much
Well, that is going to be a terrible paper cut.
The Autobiography Of Benjamin Franklin
What a fucking pervert!
I liked that one too.
Just about everything by Thomas Pynchon. Every time I finish one, I’m like “Maybe I’ll like this other one better.” A couple of them were tolerable.
I enjoyed what I’ve read of his, but damn; it ain’t “lite” reading.
I liked Against the Day and Inherent Vice well enough, but the rest kind of left me feeling “is that all there is?” And yes, many are quite sloggy.
“V” blew my socks off. A “tough but worth it” read if ever there was one.
That’s one I haven’t been able to make it through yet. Still on my bookshelf, though, right next to Infinite Jest, so I look intellekshul. Maybe I’ll try it again when I retire.
Billy Budd. Hands down the worst shit I’ve ever read.
Made Moby Dick look good.
oh yeah, Moby Dick was unreadable. Tried so many times, but had to Cliffs Notes that fucker.
Same with the Ancient Mariner. It’s a great story, but unreadable in it’s original format.
It’s all like, “hey let’s impress our friends by putting 7 subclauses in one sentence”
Ancient Mariner? I had no idea that they wrote a book about Jay Buhner.
I liked it, but it has been years ago.
The Blood Oranges. Wuthering Heights. Confederacy of Dunces. As I Lay Dying. All The Pretty Horses.
Loved Confederacy of Dunces; another one!
I loved it the first time through. The second time I read it? It just didn’t hold up.
I was going to NOLA a lot for work and it just hit the spot at that time. Only read it once.
I only read 1 Harry Potter book. It bored me. I loved Lord of the Rings but not ole Har Pot.
Out of curiosity, how old were you when you read them?
Hp was perfect for me in middle school. Lotr was too long with its constant description of mountains
Both in my 20’s. I read LOTR travelling through Europe, and Harry Potter at leisure.
Not exactly highly regarded, but many years ago a “friend” recommended Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard.
I didn’t know is was going to be the basis for a whack religion, but got maybe half a chapter in when my frontal lobe cramp up solid. Glad I didn’t pay for that garbage.
and ur body is still full of Adam Thielens ,, smh
LMFAO
I gave it a try, but couldn’t do it: Michener’s Centennial. I tried his Space too, din’t get near as far.
Space was excellent, but takes awhile.
There was a time in my life when I loved the detail and research Michener put into his books. I think I read more than a dozen of them. I don’t have that kind of patience anymore.
That part I have a deep respect for and why I tried them a few times; I just did not enjoy his style of writing.
Great Gatsby all day every day and twice on Sunday. That book was fucking garbage.
One more I enjoyed.
With regard to classics, the only Conrad I’ve ever read was Heart of Darkness 30 years ago in college. I paid 69 cents to download his entire catalog to my Kindle the other day, have started in on it, like his style.
I’ve read Heart of Darkness a several times; it is on my all time list. Apocalypse Now is also up there for movies. The other Conrads I really liked was An Outcast of the Islands and Lord Jim; another I need to read is Nostromo.
I wrote a compare/contrast between HoD and Apocalypse now for an Eng Comp class (why I read HoD in the first place). Got an A+!!!
I fucking hated Nostromo
“Lincoln at Gettysburg” by Garry Willis. Won a Pulitzer and Xenu help me it took three tries to get through it. I found it staggeringly dull. And, like the Bible, a couple of speedboat chases wouldn’t have hurt.
1984 was a pretty good read, especially since that was the year that I read it. I also enjoyed the Robert Langdon series by Dan Brown (Da Vinci Code, etc.). I can never watch a movie of a book I read, Dune ruined that forever.
Loved 1984; read it in Jr. High and it opened my eyes a bit. I tried the Da Vinci Code; didn’t like his style. I tried to read Dune after seeing the movie and didn’t make it through. I didn’t like the movie at the time, but watched it later and actually kind of like it now.
Time for snoozies-somebody has to prop up the dessicated corpse of Capitalism tomorrow.
We’re all counting on you, eh?
Anne Murray? Karen Carpenter?
God I hate anyone that uses Auto-tune to modify their singing voice.
God I hate.
Fixed it!
Hate.
I’ll accept that
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRVOKf5V0fo
You knew this when you took my seed!
Decades of stealing black music, and white folks’ biggest contribution to hip hop was fucking autotune.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DQup4hd1_o
There’s a station here in San Antonio that plays modern Latino music, and every single song they play uses Autotune. Yes, Autotune sucks in Spanish too
How do I like this infinity times?
Wait, Terry (“She’s Fine”) Glenn is dead now, too? Think Parcells feels remorse for being such an asshole?
/sarcastic font
perhaps I should be drinking for this 2nd stanza
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUJsRMaTiLU
This is Cam Newton and his outfits.
what the holy titty fuck was THAT?
Not shown: Jello spewing cottage cheese a couple minutes later.
-Chubby altar boy, trying to piece things together after waking up
That fucking cracked me up.
Halftime music, K-Flay has a lady version of my fucked up brain. I dig her musical skills, too.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nt26yjdItdA
She’s great.
Tommy Wiseau is going to be at screenings of The Room next week at the theater down the road. I’ve never been. I wonder if Old School Zero is going.
Do I have to see The Room if I want to see The Disaster Artist?
I have no idea. I’d hope not. Doing homework to see a movie is bullshit.
I just don’t like James Franco, so I’m giving it a pass.
Ah, James Franco. The only actor to ever be out-emotional-depth’d by a CGI monkey.
Hail Caesar.
The score graphic for MNF is so large I’m worried that it’s going to invade my house and insist on sleeping on my side of the bed.
So in other words, this is The Brady’s SB Bitches Bowl.
Mini-Ook.
Damn it
speaking of a topic downstream – my last concert in the outside world (will likely be for my lifetime) was Morrissey at the Durham Performing Arts Center. It was one of his “good nights” and he was charming, engaging, and seemed genuinely uplifted by the support from the crowd.
Last concert, Band of Horses at the Hard Rock in Vegas 2015.
My last one was Green Day in a tiny little auditorium in PHX.
SRO.
I failed to mention it was a reschedule due to Billie Joe going into rehab the previous fall after this…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9zogQOmQVM
Last concert, Tom Petty/Heartbreakers in May 2017, Frank Erwin Center in Austin. I think I might let that be my last one.
Social Distortion last July, capping off a great four weeks of shows that included Alice Cooper, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, and Iron Maiden/Ghost
I saw them during that tour, in Worcester. Ness sure was talkative. And kind of an idiot. Dragged 7-8 teenagers on stage and told them not to believe what they read in school, but to do their research on the internet. So that was great.
My last concert, however, was X-s 40th anniversary stop in Boston. And they were fucking great.
I really hated missing that X tour when it blew through Salt Lake. I had a golf tournament out of town that weekend.
“I once met Browning Nagle outside Giants Stadium.”
“Was he nice Uncle Ed?”
“I was so shit-faced I thought the name was a euphemism, so I ended up having a really awkward interaction with Al Toon. He was pretty cool, I guess.”
I have as much interest in this game as a U*NC “student-athlete” has in attending classes. Gonna call it a night.
Later, Taters!
Everything is fine.
“You know who is the next guy to go down in the sexual assault stuff? Former NFLer Ricky Watters.”
“Why is that, Uncle Ed?”
“Because I jerked off in front of a bunch of women and said I was him.”
“But you’re white.”
“Ah, I always confuse him with Ricky Proehl. Dammit.”
Oddly enough I did jerk it to a certain Ricky Proehl touchdown once.
Sure, NOW they run the ball.
Russell Wilson is so closeted he makes Raymond Burr look like Dan Savage.
I must admit in that Macklemore commercial, I do imagine him saying “this is Russell Wilson’s penis!”
/no ofence
Falcons D is channeling the first half of last year’s last game.
Relevant to our conversation about cryptocurrency bullshit, the new journalist-centric presscoin.
https://venturebeat.com/2017/11/16/presscoin-is-a-cryptocurrency-for-investigative-journalists-and-their-readers/
Presscoin sounds like a currency for crowded subway car perverts.
SIR! They prefer to be called frotteurists, thank you very much.
Hey look….it’s the SB LI Falcons again!!!!!!
betting on them is not exactly good for the nervous system
It is great! Up by 14 give me my money.
Hippo jelly? HIPPO JELLY.
I honestly had no idea until I got an email after the 2nd TD. Now I can just enjoy this without stressing or gamble more.
Now you know to moneyline bet shootout fixtures
Forgot to tell you. By the time I got my money down today for Saturday turdfest, line had moved (-16.5) but not as much as I thought and not enough to dissuade me.
More than willing to part with 3 bills for the win tho. Heels losing but covering will be a bonus.
chuh chuh
/once there is a moneyline, I will put $100 on it, too. JUST IN FUCKING CASE
If you’re lucky CTE is contagious and it won’t matter.
if I was lucky, I’d be ded
We’re all dead. This is Hell.
Nadine Cross agrees….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0lDALYo59Sg
That fucking garbage Randall Flagg. I know the Dark Tower movie bombed to fuck, but I have to imagine McConnaughey’s was in another universe.
They had Stephen King at his best, (first three books anyway; we won’t discuss the others), Idris Elba and McConnaughey and they still fucked it up!
Now Elba would have made a great RF, no doubt.
Clone that man and let him play both parts next time.
Was McConnaughey the problem? Is it my fault for just assuming he’ll be Rust Cohle level in everything new?
No idea. I refused to go see it because of my strong dislike for McConnaughey, lol.
No. He was’t great; no one was. The writing and directing were the problem.
You realize it was a made for TV mini series, yes? In 1994. On a broadcast network. Maybe don’t blame the actor on this one?
And fuck McConnaughey.
It is sometimes jarring to go back and watch the old 90’s book miniseries and see how bad people were in it. Rewatched “Intensity” last year for the psychotic villain goodness and everyone whose name didn’t include John C McGinley in that exact order was fucking embarrassing. Still, the award for all-time book-to-TV ruiner goes to Stephen Baldwin.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iI5VLN7ThiE
would explain many things
Chicken Wings? Nacho Dip?
Where is this game headed?
The HERP is real, ATL.
“Tell me about it.”
— Ron Mexico
“That Ed McCaffrey can run like a coon with rabies.”
“Uncle Ed, don’t use that term, It has bad connotations.”
“Fine, that Terrell Davis runs like a Colombian who fucked up one of Escobar’s drug deals.”
classic Donks WOO!!!!!!!!
That Toyota guy’s pizza must be cold, he left his house to pick up during daylight and didn’t get it until after dark.
OOF! THAT HIT ON BASKETBALL GUY!!!
Blocking foul?
Nope!!!!!
The believe the term is Chicago Native now.
Uncle Ed used to say, “I remember Adrian Murrell was my favorite octaroon running back”
I’d always reply, “But Adrian Murrell was 100% African American, Uncle Ed.”
“That’s what the Jews want you to think, Buddy. Pass me another Budweiser.”
Stolen Valor!
Is that how the Trump voters imagine their walk from the Walmart parking lot to car is like?
That’s why they’ll circle for an hour to find a nearby parking space.
Whenever we watched the 49ers, Uncle Ed would say exactly twice a game: “Joe Montana is known for being part of ‘The Catch’, while Magic Johnson is known for being ‘The Bugcatcher.'”
He never liked when you mentioned The Forum Club.
My Uncle Ed told me about a month he spent in Seattle in ’89. He said Dave Krieg would shit on sidewalks and blame smackheads for it.
Thanksgiving with Uncle Ed is going to be a peach!
Sidewalks in Tacoma. I mean, obviously.
Wait Seahawgs think they r gonna win this game?
“Statistically, they have a new defensive coordinator.”
Jon Gruden , everyone
He’s worth every penny, Vols!
Well, it’s Italian pennies…
Brocky, these might come in handy for you: https://imgur.com/gallery/rkVi1
Wait, the game is now? Shit, CTE by osmosis I guess.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9EjE4qm7b8
Apropos of nothing-this is one of the most brilliant songs my earballs have ever come across.
Johnny Marr cool. Morrissey talented asshat.
WWUED?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gnAbxACF3dg&ab_channel=ChadSinger