Some of our brethren are enjoying the sweaty, seedy favours of the fine town of Las Vegas this weekend. Say a prayer for them, will you? Here’s hoping none of them are flying back home wearing nothing but a barrel held up by suspenders. I wonder what they’ll be doing this afternoon… TO THE GAMES!
SF/CHI: The Niners are going ahead with their plan to be led by a 40-ish female comedian into the future. Somehow the Bears have fooled 3 separate teams into losing to them. Three! How they did that, I’ve no ideer. Probably involves mirrors or some such.
DEN/MIA: These two squadoos have chalked up 12 consecutive losses between them. Woot! Somebody will waddle out of this fixture with a W. A W that means nothing to no one.
TB/GB: Qb Winston is back from a shoulder ouchie and he faces a generous secondary that hands out an average of 304 yards thru the air over the last 5 games. His counterpart Hundley gets to wrestle with the league’s very worst 3rd down D. Plenty to not watch here.
KC/NYJ: Coachella Reid has magically transformed a 5-0 start into a 6-5 miasma. But lo, Revis Island will halt the skid, won’t he. Nope. The Jets are the Jets that we’ve all come to point and laugh at.
IND/JAX: The Jags have themselves a comfy three game homestand at just the right time as they tussle with the Titans for the leadership of the AFC South.
DET/BAL: Both teams are 6-5-the Ravens own the last playoff spot in the AFC and the Lions are just one game behind the Falcons for the coveted “last tean in” designation.
NE/BUF: You can do this, Bills! (they will not)
HOU/TEN: Qb Savage’s practice of charging the opposing team 100 smackers for every turnover he commits has netted him a sweet $1200 over his last 6 games. I’m guessing he’s taking the Titans and the points today so that he can increase his wallet bulge.
MIN/ATL: After crafting a 7 game win spree despite a 2-2 start the Vikes are just one game behind Philly for home field advantage throughout the post-season. Them Falcons are holding onto the last spot with a tenuous grip.
Makea da noise down below.
John Fox making Lovie Smith look like a chessmaster.
BEEF ON A WECK!
Yea JagginOff Defense!!!!!! Lets GO get some sacks and turnovers!!!
Fun fact: Shady Mckoy and Dion Lewis were teammates at Pitt!!! Pitt football! Oh Yea!!!!!!
how did they manage not to be good?
Because it’s Pitt.
/recalls 13-9 was ten years ago
Is Gronk not even playing??
He’s in there. He threw a nice block earlier!
hungover
3-2? Wow, that’s a close game between the Rockies and Marlins.
I’m just here for Geno Smith.
And subsequent McAdoo firing?
I kinda don’t want McAdoo to get fired. I want to see how low it can go.
TD texans!!!!
TD ravens!!!!
THROW TO HOPKINS YOU ASSHOLE
– a harried producer at the Academy Awards, telling James Franco to shut the fuck up and get on with the next award presentation.
Also, a REALLY weird celebrity softball game
In DFO, I have a combined ZERO from Gronk, KHunt, and Julio. FUCKING ZERO
Punishment for not going to Vegas.
Recluse4Eva!!
yesterday’s GAMBLOR was punishing enough
Thats not a nice ride….
The way the dog keeps looking around, I can’t tell if he’s checking if anyone can see how cool he looks or if anyone can see how humiliated he is.
Did Vegas have a money line on over/under of Trubisky pass attempts? 12 is looking solid.
This slate has been somehow worse than advertised
It’s kind of impressive, in a DERPTACULAR kind of way.
TD jETS!!!
I swear to God, with the amount of brie my wife buys and we subsequently have to throw out because it goes bad, you could make a cheeseburger that would satisfy Andy Reid.
BAKED BRIE!
FUCK. McKinnon was my answer. Dadgum TD lottery.
TD vikings!
Booker’s up to 1.8! He’s outscoring goddamned Hopkins, LMAO
Jets lookin good?
Who Hippo bet on today!
Jax (-9.5)
Minny (+123, moneyline)
SF (+3)
NE (-9)
Phi (-5)
#ThePauls (+13.5)
Mia (+115, moneyline)
NYG (+310, moneyline)
u noe it!!
I see Marqise Lee WAS the answer. Dammit.
Too bad OSU scheduled Oklahoma instead of Mercer, then theyd have one loss and be in the playoff right now…
/Don’t worry, will only be bitter for the next 11 months
I’m hoping that everyone in Alabama will be so busy ROLL DAMN TIDEing that they will forget to vote for that pedophile.
If Moore came out as anti-Bama football oh you know he’d be swingin from a tree by now.
Maybe this gesture of goodwill will get us Sen. Doug Jones. He REALLY IS a good dude, and the non-evangelical conservatives/independents there are giving him support. Think he has real shot.
now, Bama DID play one legit OOC match, just like tOSU did. Mercer just came later than tOSU’s MACtion.
Yeah I guess it’s hard to draw the line of shitty opponents and I don’t even remember who osu played this year, UNLV? But I draw it at I-A vs. I-AA. Those teams don’t have a chance. It’s like the Yanquis playing some AAA farm team.
/Armanti Edwards nevar forget
Welcome to the club. Let me hand you your torch and pitchfork.
I don’t think they beat Clemson or Okla though, maybe they match up better against Georgia.
Not with a banged up Barrett. Healthy Barrett, maybe.
Ladies and Gentlemen….the one and only time Trevor Siemian will be compared to PeyPey.
/center snap he funneled thru back of end zone
Fins can dance if they wannnnnu
I don’t know why I bothered to check if my opponent in fantasy this week has Travis Kelce. OF COURSE my opponent in fantasy this week has Travis Kelce.
I have re-checked three times b/c can’t believe I don’t.
/none of my guys are doing anything but holding they dicks tho
Hey Donks? Can you at least USE Devontae Booker?? FUCKSTAINS
Brady pissy!
Who was he barking at?
Jay Cutler.
McDaniel
TD jets!
Hey, not a pick-six!
Jimmy G throws his first INT. He is growing up guys!!!!!
Jets TD being overturned. Here comes the inevitable pick-six.
I can’t say this enough, but I love that BC has been mostly trash in the money sports for most of its’ time in the ACC.
Same goes with Rutgers and the Big Ten. I loved the idea of “Now we’ll have the NYC market” not knowing that most people couldn’t give an old junkie’s vomit splat about Rutgers sports in this area. Also, there’s already a shit-ton of Big Ten graduates here, so you already had an okay hold on it without adding “persistent big sports cancer” to your conference.
also MD in the B1G
Doesn’t matter, Big10 Network is automatically added to your cable package and the conference wins.
Oddly enough, I somehow got that channel from its inception in 2007 through Comcast at time.
Kelce getting greedy with the TD’s-he’s already 10 points over his expected points. Love it!
I see the Jets are going peak Jets.
Replace “Bart Simpson” with “New York Jets”
Nice to see ATL learned so much from their success getting the ball into Julio’s hands…
Thanks for the TD, Lee.
Sorry BFC. See how bad I stink?
Man I thought the cfp selection wasn’t until this evening, I needed more time to get my hopes up. At least there won’t be any boring rematch games though.
Did Truth Biscuit kiss Doom’s tits?
Nice Drive by Bortles for Ja
Somehow this game is still better than the last time the Jets played the Chiefs.
KC is rolling!!!!!
KelceTD is HUGEEEEEE!
Wow. The Jets look ridiculously terrible, even for them.
YOU SUCK SAVAGE
oh how I needed that HopkinsDOWN
I have access to only 2! games? When did I move to America?
Fun RedZone stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FTAmgSB0d0E
Lovely.
Pats with the INT on Taylor. Good stuff.
Tyrod threw one lazy INT.
O bills
Hopkins WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ah shit
Oh SHIT Jimmy G is starting for the 49ers!!!!!! Play maker gonna make plays
That’s not how you tank
He just got hit late out of bounds.