Remember back in August when you thought Football was never gonna get here? Well it did, in case you don’t mamember. It’s now week 14. FOURTEEN! And on top of that, it’s almost Xmas! Is your brain matter fried yet? Time passes like Dreamboat on meth, ppl forget that. Speaking of, are you giving your loved ones Ugg’s this year or just thinking about it? This intro seems to be going off the rails. Where do those rails lead? TO THE GAME!
New Orleans/Atlanta: Do the Falcons need this one badly to stay in the wildcard hunt? My Ouija board has responded with, “How the hell would I know? I’m the spirit of Harry Houdini, for Christ sake!”. (he’s a bit cranky sometimes but he did tell me that Kenneth Lay was a complete fraud so I got out of Enron with plenty of time to spare) Anyway… yes, the Falcons need this one very badly. Their biggest problem is that the run D is a middle-of-the-pack 18th. That would be a bit of bad news given that the duo of Bitchin’ Kamara (my Kamara Chameleon didn’t quite take but I still have TruthBiscuit, damnit!) and Mark “No Nickname” Ingram are on pace to thrust past 3,000 combined yards rushing and receiving. The last rb combo to do that? I don’t know, why don’t you look it up-I’m busy writing a thingy at the moment. Perhaps this looks like a Saints walk but t’udder rb guys-Coleman and Freeman-are up against a Saints run D that gives up an average of 4.6 ypc. Yowch!
There’s plenty o’other things going on today, including Mr. Franken calling it a day, another school shooting, some college ball, some hockey and some other things I may have missed. Wag that jaw down below!
You know who I shouldn’t have bothered starting in the playoffs this week? Ted Fucking Ginn
There must be a god. If there isn’t, and even if there is, I’d really like an explanation for a few things.
No there mus’nt….
I was being facetious.
But it really does bug me how some folks seem to sail thru life, fucking others over, yet never suffer a scrape themselves.
Random ain’t fair….. it’s random. Random pussy for instance.
I figured you were, but the phrasing was odd so I thought I’d throw in some weird shit.
Weird shit is always appreciated.
Sometimes ya just gotta reach out and grab dat.
Jeffery Sessions had such a happy childhood; odd that he is such a racist asshole now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X8UR2TFUp8w
one more cycle, one more beer
an investment company using “Whisper to a Scream” as their ad song??
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aieEZ950d1I
Hat trick!
Vanilla Ice, Ice baby, so merde, so merde
He is forcing, panicking….. kinda like my last meeting at work.
Sick flow at 2:00
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj6UNM8WANU
You know its only going to be a matter of time before a ballcarrier breaks his legs or blows out his knees because the offense pushes him forward when the defenders has his lower legs wrapped and immobile.
Yup. Wasn’t that technically illegal at one point? Did they change the rule?
Recent rule change. You can push but you can’t pull.
There’s a dirty joke there, but I’m too tired to make it.
Well, that makes perfect sense because the NFL REALLY cares about player safety!
NFL Rule 12, Section 1, Article 4-a (Page 2/11) prohibits offensive players from “pull[ing] a runner in any direction at any time”. The rule’s silence regarding pushing a runner is telling; it is legal. In fact, A.R. 12-2 at the bottom of page two provides a specific example of a ball carrier being pushed into the end zone by a teammate. The ruling? Touchdown.
(NFL Rules do prohibit pushing a teammate to obstruct an opponent or to recover a loose ball but do not prohibit pushing to advance a runner.)
College and professional rules allow teammates to assist ball carriers. While Section 12 has been changed this particular rule has been in place for a long time.
You can’t “assist”; if you are basically holding up the ball carrier. it is a penalty. You can scrum push all you want and it has been that way. It does not result in injury hardly at all, the ball carrier’s legs are churning. It is why RBs have shoulder pads that run all down their back.
so, next Steelers/Bengals game?
Uh, that means it probably be Bell. Between the Steelers and the Bengals, which team would put forth 110% effort for a touchdown?
whoooooopsi.
N’Awlins paper reporting Bitchin’ Kamara is indeed in the garage FOAR teh night.
is that Cher?
Which one?
HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
Thoughts and Prayers
Send Facebook prayers; those really help.
I didn’t just hit the waiver wire just in case foar next week foar nuthin’.
SHOCKING!
*may be thinking of wrong wire.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzY3p8qEMec
I’ve always liked bush.
The band in the video you posted is pretty good too.
Me too
GET THE KELP OUTA HERE!!
When I said I wanted some dank weed, this isn’t what I meant.
Too wet for a sushi roll……
Kinda mean of Rodney Harrison to talk about sons in front of Tony Dungy.
sons a bitches.
“I like sons that don’t hang themselves!”
Hung sons is different tho.
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/ryan-shazier-has-spinal-stabilization-surgery-two-days-after-scary-injury/
Keep praying for Ryan Shazier. It doesn’t sound good.
It’s likely his playing days are over.
In the words of Antonio Brown, “Karma?”
If you mean that in the sense that he caused the injury himself by going in with bad tackling form, then yeah. Otherwise, that doesn’t really apply. He wasn’t headhunting on that play.
Agreed. Knowing from experience, if Shazier wanted to head hunt, that receiver would’ve been the one admitted to University Hospital.
Honestly, if he’s able to walk again, its a win.
I heard on the radio that he has “limited mobility” in his legs. Which is good because it sounds like the spinal cord is just damaged, its not severed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mbRgeTZpXU0
NO REST FOR SPUR YET!….Dryer isnt done yet
…and the Wal-Mart ripoff, “Y Not.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNwkN9vrUYY
dueling WOMP WOMP
WOULD BAAAAAAAANG!!!
That is a pretty stupid way of ending a half.
BWHAHAHAHAHA!
Nice moves by Ryan for the attempted tackle, at least.
Matt Bryant looks like he needs to take a massive dump at the half.
The Vice President of Officiating is at the game? Does that mean the NFL Commissioner is in a undisclosed location?
The Ol’ DOUBLE J’S Sex Dungeon?
Leave him in there for 30 years like Brendan Frasier in Blast From The Past.
Okay. Seeing my video game idea of black numbers with white outlines on a colored jersey isn’t as good in real life as it is in the game.
(pours out for San Antonio Wolves – 5-time SEC Champion and BCS National Champion)
I swear to god, and I know nothing of fashion, but every single Falcon player looks fat to me. Both unis are hideous, but for some reason, the Falcon’s jerseys just look horrific to me.
Friends…Sometimes my Loves. You’ve no idea. I’d leap quite happily. But you dum-dums drag me back. Mwah. May we dance for many years to come.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENXvZ9YRjbo
Is it just me or are some team’s away Color Rush uniforms better than their actual away jerseys?
These Saints uniforms look nice and would be great as their actual away uniforms.
Those are some seriously big, shiny numbers.
I CALL THIS GAME ALL SAINTS’ DAY SINCE THERE ARE DEAD SAINTS EVERYWHERE
I hope someone gives Kamara a “shot” at halftime.
Imma go cook dinner now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=6&v=GFI6pvOl3YY
Some days you just gotta say fuck it and go to bed at 930 apparently
I have dreams of shakira and Gwen Stefani.
Spur: Shakira hold Gwen so i can kick her in the throat.
I have a similar dream. Most of those words are in it.
way to mispronounce Derby (in Lesser Footy, it’s DARR-bee), Tirico
/Everton still ded to me, at least I’m spared yet another hiding by the Redshite
I don’t care what any fucking wanker tells me…the way the brits pronounce derby is fucking wrong.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE
In honor of Al Franken and Trent Franks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ne7Ls3zHZo
Jeff Ireland’s done an exceptional job making sure none of the players’ Moms are whores, is what Tirico meant to say.
Horatio rides his Bitchin’ Kamara into the FF play-offs and it looks like he’s crashed it right into a telephone pole while not wearing a seat belt.
Right there with ya, my friend.
anti-Freeman voodoo
No, Spur. Its “anti-Freeman” not “anti-Freedman”.
goddamnit, will be the only asshole in Murrika to LOSE to a Kamara side this week
The Winter Olympics…see NBC shit itself if President Trump pulls the US out in support of Russia.
If Trump’s boyfriend can’t go to the party, Trump ain’t going.
Like Trump would be so stupid to…
Maybe each individual state can be represented? Ohio for the Gold!
This game is boring. let’s see some dirty hits!
Sorry, I misread that.
Now I want pancakes. Thanks.
that’s some yeast infection.
I ordered banana pancakes, Miss. I don’t see any bana…Oh. Oh my.
Oh, great! Now I’m gonna become aroused to pancakes.
Dirty hits? Done!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM
At least I wasn’t stupid enough to start
MattAustin Hooper.I’d have dumped his ass a long time ago if there was anything to get for him.
And just like that, the fucker makes a play.
Holy shit.
…and so like my parent’s marriage and their parents before them, this season continues on even though the love has been completely sucked out of it.
Will you get two Christmas’s out of it?
We no can even haz restored Kamara?
Collinsworth says Julio has a “perfect body”.
Donald Sterling nods.
So hungry. Do I dare to eat a peach?
DO NOT
Oooh, fuzzy!
“Yuck, fuzzy.”
-R. Moore
Don’t swallow the pit! – Dog
Not all peaches are sweet.
That is a super great pull.
As long as you wear white trousers, and walk along the beach.
I’m eating pineapple for dinner. The natural food is practically putting my body into shock.
Pineapple is fantastic. Grilled pineapple is awesome, but pineapple topped with bulgogi beef is amazing.