Greetings early risers!

Coffee? Check.

Morning wake and bake? It is Saturday. Check.

JV Footy? Nope.

Lesser footy? Check.

We gather here today for lesser footy only as JV footy has ended until bowl season and that schedule is spread out for a month or so. Normally King Hippo is your Saturday morning correspondent but for the next little while Ballsofsteelandfury, Don T and I will be doing the best that we can to fill in.

I do have a question. How the hell does Don T and the rest of Puerto Rico not have power yet?????? If Wyoming didn’t have power this long don’t you think we would hear all about it and some one would fix it????????

Let’s see what we have on the docket for the day!

The early game is a good old fashioned London derby with dirty Russian money against the Olympic Stadium Hammers. West Ham is in danger of relegation this season and having Chelsea visiting will not help their cause. I hate Chelsea because I have to as I am a Fulham supporter. They are Southwest neighboUrs but their stadium is actually in Fulham. I hope they lose, but they won’t as the Hammers are not in their class.

The fat of the pig is at 9 am DFO time and it features a big bag of mediocrity featuring The Moose Hornets v Burnley who both have definitely surprised this season as I figured that they would be in the relegation zone. The Palace in Crystal v Bournemouth is a match that you would have to pay me to watch on TV. Huddersfield v the Seagulls in a fixture of two of the promoted teams from last year. I am happy for both clubs but in my heart of hearts they can go to hell as Fulham should be up. Next if you haven’t slept all night how does a little Swansea v West Brom grab you? You will be asleep in no time! In the only match I will be watching we have Spurs v Stoke City which always tends to be a rough game with the Potters “argy-bargy” tactics slowing the game down and turning it into a set piece competition. This is always a tough fixture for top sides as Stoke is always a challenge to best.

The afternoon game could be entertaining with Foxy Footy visiting Newcastle. I have said this in the past but Newcastle is the best city to party in England. If you have ever gotten the chance to watch Geordie Shore you will know that it is an anthropological study into the mating ritual of sun deprived, alcoholic, orange skinned locals.

None of these really matter as everyone who watches English futbol is looking forward to Sunday. Arsenal v Southampton! Ok, hat is definitely not the game who a mild observer would be interested in, keep moving. Next up is the Merseyside derby in Liverpool which I will be definitely watching. I do hope that the Toffees can suppress the formidable Liverpool attack. I know our resident Everton supporter will be screaming at the tv, even though he hates their new manager and basically wants to set fire to the ownership box at Goodison Park.

After slugging through all of those mediocre games we get to the Manchester derby! I am really looking forward to this and have been all week. Part of me would like Jose and The Red Devils to pull this out so at least the rest of the season is interesting howevah that club and their supporters are so deplorable that I would much rather have them playing in the “lowly” Europa League like last year. In our preview Hippo and I decided that Man City would be the lesser of all of the evils to come out on top. So far through the season they are cutting their competition into ribbons.

In Scottish futbol we have the Catholic derby where Hibs and Celtic meet up. Yes when they play the Protestant teams there are street wars, but it also happens when these two meet as the Glasgow v Edinburgh rivalry is alive and well.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZthGdjGX0E]

Everybody be well and enjoy your day sans JV footy.

Totally forgot that the MLS final is today as well. Toronto against ex-Fulham player Clint Dempsey. Same 2 teams as last year, in Toronto where it is quite cold. I watched last years final which ended on penalty kicks and the game was fantastic. I most definitely will be watching, the cwords in Toronto are fantastic. I have been to 5 different cities for MLS and Seattle is by far the best, followed by the lunatic hipsters in Portland but I easily got the drunkest in Toronto with complete strangers.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2lwKrQYjtw]