Greetings early risers!
Coffee? Check.
Morning wake and bake? It is Saturday. Check.
JV Footy? Nope.
Lesser footy? Check.
We gather here today for lesser footy only as JV footy has ended until bowl season and that schedule is spread out for a month or so. Normally King Hippo is your Saturday morning correspondent but for the next little while Ballsofsteelandfury, Don T and I will be doing the best that we can to fill in.
I do have a question. How the hell does Don T and the rest of Puerto Rico not have power yet?????? If Wyoming didn’t have power this long don’t you think we would hear all about it and some one would fix it????????
Let’s see what we have on the docket for the day!
The early game is a good old fashioned London derby with dirty Russian money against the Olympic Stadium Hammers. West Ham is in danger of relegation this season and having Chelsea visiting will not help their cause. I hate Chelsea because I have to as I am a Fulham supporter. They are Southwest neighboUrs but their stadium is actually in Fulham. I hope they lose, but they won’t as the Hammers are not in their class.
The fat of the pig is at 9 am DFO time and it features a big bag of mediocrity featuring The Moose Hornets v Burnley who both have definitely surprised this season as I figured that they would be in the relegation zone. The Palace in Crystal v Bournemouth is a match that you would have to pay me to watch on TV. Huddersfield v the Seagulls in a fixture of two of the promoted teams from last year. I am happy for both clubs but in my heart of hearts they can go to hell as Fulham should be up. Next if you haven’t slept all night how does a little Swansea v West Brom grab you? You will be asleep in no time! In the only match I will be watching we have Spurs v Stoke City which always tends to be a rough game with the Potters “argy-bargy” tactics slowing the game down and turning it into a set piece competition. This is always a tough fixture for top sides as Stoke is always a challenge to best.
The afternoon game could be entertaining with Foxy Footy visiting Newcastle. I have said this in the past but Newcastle is the best city to party in England. If you have ever gotten the chance to watch Geordie Shore you will know that it is an anthropological study into the mating ritual of sun deprived, alcoholic, orange skinned locals.
None of these really matter as everyone who watches English futbol is looking forward to Sunday. Arsenal v Southampton! Ok, hat is definitely not the game who a mild observer would be interested in, keep moving. Next up is the Merseyside derby in Liverpool which I will be definitely watching. I do hope that the Toffees can suppress the formidable Liverpool attack. I know our resident Everton supporter will be screaming at the tv, even though he hates their new manager and basically wants to set fire to the ownership box at Goodison Park.
After slugging through all of those mediocre games we get to the Manchester derby! I am really looking forward to this and have been all week. Part of me would like Jose and The Red Devils to pull this out so at least the rest of the season is interesting howevah that club and their supporters are so deplorable that I would much rather have them playing in the “lowly” Europa League like last year. In our preview Hippo and I decided that Man City would be the lesser of all of the evils to come out on top. So far through the season they are cutting their competition into ribbons.
In Scottish futbol we have the Catholic derby where Hibs and Celtic meet up. Yes when they play the Protestant teams there are street wars, but it also happens when these two meet as the Glasgow v Edinburgh rivalry is alive and well.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZthGdjGX0E]
Everybody be well and enjoy your day sans JV footy.
Totally forgot that the MLS final is today as well. Toronto against ex-Fulham player Clint Dempsey. Same 2 teams as last year, in Toronto where it is quite cold. I watched last years final which ended on penalty kicks and the game was fantastic. I most definitely will be watching, the cwords in Toronto are fantastic. I have been to 5 different cities for MLS and Seattle is by far the best, followed by the lunatic hipsters in Portland but I easily got the drunkest in Toronto with complete strangers.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z2lwKrQYjtw]
Is now a good time to remember that ASU’s buyout of Todd Graham cost $12.3 million?
Are college coach buyouts a secret money laundering scheme RIGHT IN FRONT OF OUR EYES? PROBABLY.
Allie: What were you telling your defense on that last drive?
Coach: Try not to fuck this up you assholes.
Sounds like every briefing my CO gave us, too!
That game was better than I hoped. Very close Navy. No shame there.
They should be forced to go wherever there is snow, from now on. Enhances the game by a factor of like a billion.
Let’s go sledding!!!!!
Which parking lot?
Oh, I thought you said dogging. Nevermind
He didn’t fall down AND had the distance, just hooked it. Hell of a kick, all things considered.
Agreed. No shame there.
And I was kinda hoping he’d slip…lol. I’m a terrible person.
I totally had visions of it.
That kick had the distance. Wow.
Navy should fake this.
This is gonna be funny either way.
I mean, he’s used to kicking underwater??
Holy shit, I hope this is an NFL-caliber kicker. At the Naval Academy.
yea my guess is he is short. That final drive was crap.
Tipical trump’s america hes got army and navy fighting EACH OTHER instead of are enemies smhdgh
ITS ALL HILARYS FUALT #LOCKERUP
If the air force wasnt so busy in bengazi!!!! they wouldbve been in this game
I saw a Hillary for Prison 2016 bumper sticker today.
TODAY
IN BOULDER
ON A PRIUS
Fozz-level rage
surely you can throw a fookin’ slant
This ain’t Canadia, fucko!!
middle of the field, Navy!
/I like they coach, he seems like a stand-up dude
Whatever is in the papaya drinks at Grey’s Papaya/Papaya King/the other imitators, I’m pretty sure it’s drugs. It’s definitely drugs. And papaya. Which has papayin. It makes you strong like Popeye.
My kid’s braving the non-sticking snow flurries OMFG to bring back Whole Foods smoothies. including my favourite mango/kale/spinach with apple juice base.
I will wash down a v-profen with, in solidarity with DFO’s Finest Fiddler.
YAY DRUGS!!!
The hot dogs are good too, but let’s be real here, you go for the papaya drink.
all coming down to a snow FG…memories of the Leon Lett play
Old man altidore scores for tFC. WHERE THE HELL WAS THAT FOE USMNT?
Go navy!
I haven’t seen that many Navy men in a dogpile since…
Buddy??
We would have also accepted: “I haven’t seen a pile of seamen like that since the Houston 500.”
BETTER!!
Or a joke that Roy Moore would enjoy – what do a downed Navy jetliner and newly de-flowered virgins have in common?
A: Their cockpits are both full of bloody seamen!
Ohhhhhh wow…I really shouldn’t +1 that.
But I’m gonna.
LMFAO
Did I have a “Totally Tasteless Jokes” book that I hid from my mother growing up (instead of porn like a normal sicko)? Yes, Other Hippo, you sure did!!
Sweet jesus.
if only I could remember some of the REALLY awful ones
I had a dirty joke book with this gem:
What happened to the leper who went through the screen door?
He felt strained.
Oooops?
Train 1 Car 0
Amtrak’s budget cuts have really gone too far.
My friend is protesting this game due to it not being played as a home game for navy on an air craft carrier.
The carnage resulting from playing on non-skid would be epic.
Air Force should play all their home games in an airborne C-17 Globemaster.
Lil’er WCS is at a babysitter today, wifey is sleeping for at least 12 hours, Lil’ WCS is eating ice cubes on the floor, Ice Stillers play the Ice Argos later, and the Hoops Backyard Brawl is back.
Gin: engaged
enGinged?
what about juice?
and is your mind on ur moneys??
My kid just knocked over a table containing a full mug of cocoa, a full glass of seltzer, and ALL the remotes. My wife & I instantly asked if he was ok. He was. We scrambled to get towels to clean the mess and asked him to help. He replied shittily AND threatened to throw pillows and such into the mess. Little BASTARD!!!! So we gently explained that he was behaving unacceptably. He then said, “YOU GUYS ARE BEING MEAN TO ME!!” and slammed his door. FUCKER!!! But then I realized, he was acting exactly like the President of the United States of America, SO WHATMEWORRY, AMIRITE?!?!1?!1
Young Anthony Scaramucci agrees!
Jesus that feels like three years ago that Mooch was the press secretary
No sir, we are less than 1 year in to the fuckery.
Aw shit.
**Googles Canadian Immigration Law**
So wifey was right earlier. Good to know.
OrangeJello had a habit of slamming doors when she was mad. I took her door off the hinges (multiple times) until she figured out the cause-effect relationship there.
Sounds like a good idea for the commander in chief.
People, I survived volunteering and errands. Whisky me.
(pushes empty whisky bottle under couch next to maraschino cherry jar)
Uhh, we’re all out, I think you drank it all yesterday.
Quickly takes out recycling, yeah, I have no idea where that bottle went.
Points at Horatio. I think he took it all.
/Pointing with empty bottle in his hand
I just fully restocked here, but I’m sure no one wants to leave the clubhouse…
Hot dog in one hand, beer in the other, I stand before the door handle marked “pull” until the sun obliterates the world.
-Memoirs of an exit row passenger
Will the Buffalo losing influence rub off on Toronto today? Guilt by proximity.
Go navy!
Also found a stream of MLS cup
Those look more like D cups to me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FyctQWB9IdQ
Here is a clip
That’s pretty wild. I guess I might have tracked down interesting stuff like this to see when I was in Bangkok, but at the age I was at the time I was more interested in finding the banana cutter shows, and those where the girls smoked cigarettes with their hoo-hahs.
Don’t forget fire darts at baloons out of themselves!
I wonder if Fat Leonard is a special guest of the Navy, sitting in their VIP suite for this game.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fat_Leonard_scandal
I watched a documentary on that train line, it is wild.
Where is that? I would like to see that documentary.
I concur. That’s insane.
Shit, I will look it up. The whole story is crazy.
I think its in Thailand. Or there is one close to it in Thailand. A friend went there and took pictures of a market/train very similar to that, if not that exact line
It is thailand, north of Bangkok.
Did Lamar Jackson make a finalist because they couldn’t come up with a third?
I want Baker to pull out the double guns and pew pew the crowd.
That’s my girl!
This end of year game would be MUCH more intense if it was a doubleheader v. ISIS and the Taliban.
GO MOAB!
Or some good ol’ fashioned BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NvIJvPj_pjE
PLEASE tell me this snow will stick around for tomorry’s varsity action!
SillyCuse is better than you thought they were.
As are the Sun Devils! Led by Bobby Hurley! Listen if you are an asshole Dookie, taking over the program at party central can and did wipe off the duke stink.
wiping off the HWSNBN stank, too
/what wolven folk call Sendek (He Who Shall Not Be Named)
The stank sticks around some places longer than others.
Fuck right off, Under Armor.
I support this sentiment.
u no protect that house?
a FG in this, on 4th and 2??
Passing on Shogun Marcus’ delightful heads-up – heavy snow in this otherwise uninteresting JV NFL match
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
https://deadspin.com/fox-is-seeking-los-angeles-area-actors-who-can-pretend-1821152419
Well Iggle fans did fill the stubhubsoccercentresponsoredbyDraftKings, so I experct them to be out in full force. It is like 2 homegames for transplants.
well if anyone knows how to show enthusiasm for liking to RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! it should be young ppl starved FOAR work in Hollywoo
I would be very happy with no tds for RRRAAAMMMIIITTT tomorrow. Maybe a lot of field goals…
YOU BASTARD MAN
I’m starting to think we gon’ hafta separate you two.
Army and Navy should be able to “draft” one player each from other college teams for this bowl game.
if the US can no longer be a neutral intermediary between Hamas & Israel, who will take our place?
/serious question by half-educated slob
Something tells me the Russians and the Chinese would like a crack at it
How does China figure in?
I figure they wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to expand their influence.
Or get paid to he;p rebuild Palestine.
6 of one, half dozen of the other, round eye
Were we ever considered all that neutral?
You’re right. Should’ve put quotation marks around that.
I bet Israel thinks we’re neutral, Palestine not so much.
*makes sideways glance at Israeli Air Force squadrons of F-15s and F-16s*
“A properly seasoned roasted chicken?”
-Fully-Uneducated Slob
Nadie
underrated Cracker!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nY6WTcJMgMY
“What I wished my former supervisor would’ve called me JUST ONCE!”
GO AIR FORCE… oh, wait…
Cuse is taking care of business but they’re not up by 40, therefore some dinks on the site that I deign to comment on are unhappy. Pfffffttttt.
Why the fuck was Cooper Manning interviewing anybody on fox?
Papa John wasn’t available?
they didn’t have a booster seat big enough ,, smh
Good lawd Laforce. You’re talking to a father about his lucky to be alive child who still has a long road to recovery. You don’t say “Coach I know your son is dying to be here!”
Sweet christing fuck.
Well, she’s not wrong… ?
You are right to point it out, but Allie is always forgiven.
Oh Allie did that?
That’s OK…she pertty.
I should start turning the volume up on the TV so I don’t miss these things. Maybe I need to turn CC back on.
Even w/ Allie, methinks will skip the jingoism bowl.
USAA insurance really is the tits, though.
But it’s a SNOW GAME.
/also I never DON’T have CC on.
FUCK, why didn’t somebody say sooner??
WE THOUGHT YOU KNEW!!!!!!!!
(still snowing here too, btw)
I used to keep it on all the time, then forgot when new tv was put into place a few weeks ago.
Blues are shooting 50% in this hockeyed game.
My wife just told my 6 year old to “stop being a dick”. I love my family.
Some folk let off fireworks at 3 am outside of the Seattle hotel in Toronto yesterday. That is good hustle in my books.
hey, at least you shit and/or pissed someone else’s bed ,, amirite?
just not smelling in this instance ya know??
Wait, Seattle is in Toronto now?
WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?????
See? We muricans IS bad at geography!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOsNsOhyG8I
It’s pretty convenient that the Stanton to the Yankees trade went through with the help of new Marlins CEO Derek fucking Jeter.
ah love teh smell of collusion in the morning
/Yanks offer is maybe 30% of what Most Glorious el beisbol Cardinals bid
Blame Loria, (for pretty much everything); he’s the one who gave Stanton $30 million+ a year for ten years AND a no trade. Yanks got away with murder but as long as Stanton was the one nuking the deals to St. Louis and San Fran there’s nothing Jeter could do.
That said, as a Yankee fan, even I think this is a bit much. Karma is a bitch.
That is a bit convenient.
I know this is all supposed to be light-hearted and enjoyable, what with the football, and the titties, and the discussions of clerical buggery, etc.
But I’d like to be serious for a moment, if I may . . .
I hate posts that are a little too personal, and I don’t want to brag or act like I’m better than anyone else, but I just took an amazing shit. Really and truly simply amazing. I photographed it in medium format film, it was that amazing. The Fox-TV network just gave me a development deal based solely on my description of this shit over the phone. If taking a shit was an Olympic event, you’d be hearing The Star Spangled Banner right now.
Oh good the film’s back from the lab! Here’s a nice photo of it. And believe me, passing those valve stems was no walk in the park:
WHY WON’T YOU LET US MEET YOU?!?
I invited him to the Badass Games but he never showed… which is the most badass move of all
http://achewood.com/index.php/index.php?date=06082006
NAWT ENOUGH room at Stade de Clippers Merde
I’ve missed it three times, fourth time for sure!
Working title: “Shit on Spec.”