What wagers can I get horribly wrong today??
Gator Bowl – Louisville v. Mississippi State (Noon, ESPN)
Such a shame that Dan Mullen won’t be around for this, as would make for a great coaching matchup. Ville have been disappointing all season long, though, and I don’t see any reason why that should stop today.
Liberty Bowl – Iowa State v. Memphis (12:30, ABC)
I guess Memphis is favoured because…de facto home game? Iowa State beat Oklahoma on the road, what exactly is the Tiggers’ claim to fame, other than another Paxton Lynch clone at QB?
Fiesta Bowl – Washington v. Paedo State (4:00, ESPN)
Surprisingly (to me), the B1G is doing very, very well in exhibition play, and the PAC 12+ is falling on they faces. I…wouldn’t expect this to be the matchup that changes that narrative, as much as I would like that outcome.
Huskies why? The Big Ten is an enemy of the people.
at least I bet on this particular group of evil fucks. Still pulling for U-Dub, I bet MOAR on the over than on the Paedos
Folks
tell ur QB to stop being a dickhole, I gots like $1200 bet on that fixture
UGA is totes overrated. Have they played ONE good QB all season?
I was moar responding to the dollar figure.
I’m a UGa fan and I know they suck. But Duuuuuddeeee!!!!!!
Started at $700 (+1), then added another $500 ML (at +120) on tilt the other night. 7 and 12 are lucky numbers for me, 5 to a lesser extent.
if you need a FUCKING DESSERT after eating pizza, then you are fat beyond all hope. Even for an American.
But there’s leftover pie!!!!
Damn you, Hippo foar shaming me!!!!!!
that’s eating what’s there – NOT ordering one
but the question remains, who pays for food when leftover pie is there to savour??
Ah, now I see. But I still feel too shamed to eat pie now.
Unrelated: Does my ass look fat in these jeans?
I once ate an entire Red Baron pizza and the mozzarella sticks that came with it. It did not come with dessert, or else I would have attempted that too.
In fairness, I think I was 18-19 and nobody else was home that day.
My GAMBLOR rush did NOT carry over to my hoopsball #SpiteBet. The good coach Will Wade (who State should have hired after fucking up the Arch Miller deal) is fucking destroying NC State’s shitty one.
I haven’t even checked in.
But not surprised.
Paedos don’t even have attractive cheerleaders.
Also, I don’t remember the names of ANY of my elementary school teachers, even though my mom was one for 20+ years (not at any of our schools, we believed that improper) so I do value the profession. I am just VERY unsentimental outside of cats and sports.
uh….I don’t think Paedo State is too worried about WA driving the field with under a minute left
Anyone take the over in this one?
/stupid non refreshing page. Obv Hippo did.
you gots shares in it?
12 points makes the over
Shit. He got me.
I can’t disagree. On both FB and bumper stickers, that is.
I don’t care what someone’s kid did at whatever lousy school they go to.
What about if I ran a marathon? Or was a crossfitter? I know you crave that knowledge.
/am neither.
#13.1
Well if you ever do either in a thong, I’d be interested.
Wow, these announcers do not have a gag reflex.
they are pounding ass hard FOAR the Paedos. Most announcers tend to be dudebro types, so not surprising.
Saquon Barkley is going to the next great Penn State running back to get broken by Week 3 for the Bears/Bungles next year.
I almost want Donks to win tomorrow so we can’t take him. My preferred result is loss, pick 5th, and get a Chubb on with the pick (and take his teammate Ryan Finley in the 2nd).
Hippo’s GAMBLOR fortunes, chuh chuh
Fending off his neon claws, are you?
heavy shares in Cowbells, Cyclones, Paedos (and over in their match)
what a catch!!
“Huh? ‘What’s a catch?’ Beats us.”
— NFL
Heh, don’t throw it to the wide open guy on your left, PSU QB, throw it to the mass of defensive linemen on your right.
if those chucklefucks had a QB, they’d be dangerous. Like if tOSU could pay attention for an entire season.
Applicable to 99% of all football teams, at all levels?
Big 10 teams winning Bowl Games? It’s the end times! It’s in Reveleations, people!
Senor, not to be content with normal sanity, is now putting cinnamon and cayenne in his hot cocoa. IT’S SWISS MISS, ME BUFFOON!
/Also I apparently combine the first and third persons?
Other Hippo sez you’re fine! Ain’t that right, Other Hippo? YOU BET!!!
/also, cinnamon in coffee is the tits, and my preferred way of cutting down on sugar
Liking my 2 bills on the over. Could be a banner GAMBLOR day.
What is the O/U anyway?
55.5 was last I saw.
I bet it at 53.5, like at 1:30. HIPPO’s BETS MOVE MOUNTAINS NOW.
Wishing I’d put down moar ATS at the moment.
was that really a Paedo State weirdo with a:
SATURDAYS ARE FOR THE BOYS
sign???
I think it was, I only saw a flash of it.
even in its current, lame-ass, neutered form, Deadspin should make a meal outta that
“They didn’t.” -Ron Howard
true, it wasn’t “look at this SICKKKK NBA move!!”
Have we mentioned that nothing says fiesta like PlayStation?
https://youtu.be/teaP3HXYOgE
Yo so fiesta!
The Gronk Fiesta Bowl could work, I suppose.
no flag or JV Trent Green test??
Trying to keep it close at least through the first half.
“You know who could’ve benefitted from the Trent Green test? Erik the Red!” -Trent Green
https://youtu.be/eGCD4xb-Tr8
Kiki?
A party including good music and good friends, held for the express purpose of calming nerves, reducing anxiety and stress and generally fighting ennui.
Holy shit. I just paid my natural gas bill…the shit is three times higher than normal. I am sick of freezing my fucking ass off here.
AL GORE PROMISED ME GLOBAL WARMING DAMN IT!!!
Here in the sticks, we do liquid propane (supplemented by heat pump). The tank has only just been filled but is already dipping down noticeably on the gauge. Been pretty cold for ’round here and is only getting worse next week.
Meh. I gotz sweatshirts.
We gots that newfangled nooklear energy, jest like the Batcave.
It’s pronounced nookular!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OoASZyihalc
$100 on Paedo State ATS.
I’ll decide on Wiscy/daU later.
Well, that coulda been ugly.
Now quit being assholes, ISU
Can’t remember…you ML’d and went ATS on this one, yes?
yup
Sorry for half of that then I guess.
no, they covered, was ISU +3
Shit, right. I had minus in my head for some reason.
Cowbells giving me palpitations.
JEEBUS, I am gonna lose both ends of this.
WHAT PLAYCALLING IS THAT SHIT, COWBELLS???
These poor referees can’t seem to figure out which team is the Patriots.
Touchdown Seahawks, then.
WTF call is that?
Jeebus….Coach K wants that guy at Duke.
They should look at THAT shit on replay and see he faked and kick his ass out of the damned game.
Fuck.
Can Cowbells POSSIBLY kick a FG here? I wouldn’t.
FUCK FUCK FUCK
Ruling on the field being king is kinda stupid if you’re unsure enough to use replay to begin with. I mean I get it…but if you don’t trust the guy’s call to begin with?
OH CHRIST, Cyclones.
/think that gets overturned??
Hard to say.
I’m sure they’ll fuck it up.
fuck upistan, here we is
ring, ring, ring with the trolley
CLANG CLANG CLANG WITH THE (cow)BELLS!!
Yep, barring a turnover, that one’s over.
Latoya won’t even get the ball back prolly.
wearing that subpar (MEM) defense down, finally
Taking longer than I expected tho.
Lamar! is 11-26 today. And Cowbells were not exactly one of SECCCCCC PAAAWWWWWLLLLL’s premier defensing units.
GOTTA go for this, dickasses!!
On that 3rd and 18 I was all….he’s gonna make that marker….OUCH, no he’s not.
Iowa State does realize they can’t run 11+ minutes off the clock just yet, right?
Jeebus, I could call these plays.
Hint…..SO CAN MEMPHIS YOU DUMBSHITS!!!!!!
Wow, delay of game for those play calls.
This is getting funny now.
NOTE – making his FIRST JV start, Cowbells’ QB had the sense to hold onto the ball and not stick it out like a loaf of bread towards the goal line. 1st and goal inside the 1 will do just fine.
Cowbells inside the 1 WOO!!!
Tulsa and East Carolina are the only sides to score less than 26 on MEM all season. This is NOT a good defensing unit.
I think they’re in UCONN’s conference. I refuse to believe UCONN put 26 points up on anyone.
/searches furiously
I stand corrected. UCONN whacked them for 31 points.
Unfortunately they also gave up 70.
Iowa State seems awful content w/ 1 point lead
Good ’nuff foar me.
LOL, sorry.
“Big time players make big time plays”
Shut the fuck up.
“We respectfully disagree.”
-Samuel Beckett, Bertold Brecht, Anton Chekhov, Henrik Ibsen, Arthur Miller, Harold Pinter, G.B. Shaw, Sam Shepard, Tom Stoppard, August Strindberg and Tennessee Williams.
Louisville can run when blatant double holding is allowed
ah appreciate Cyclones being all ready for the fake there. Even if’n it ain’t happen.
Um, Trader Joe’s sells scotch now?
only ABC can sell it in Jeebus states like mine. Good cheap wine, tho
But not on Sunday’s or holidays because we don’t trust you heathens!!!!!!
I’ve lived my entire life in states that don’t bother with the weird alcohol restrictions the rest of Americans seem to deal with and every time I’m reminded of those rules I am baffled.
Ain’t no coincidence I miss laws in Arizony and Californiyay.
Plus….legal weed.
I never want to live in a state that doesn’t allow, I dunno, churches to sell booze from slushie machines whenever they want.
See? Now that would get asses in the pews.
Stupid sexy organized religion.
I used to bitch MOAR before I spent a weekend in fucking PA
We still talking booze, or just in general now?
mostly booze and roads
ProTip…don’t live in Scranton ‘burbs foar two years. You think our rednecks are rednecks? Wow…just wow.
Not in this shitty state. I could explore the TJ across the river, but I’d just as soon go to BevMo then.
Wait a minute. Oregon owns all non-beer and wine at liquor stores. I wonder if they could buy and resell Kirkland booze (I’ve read their vodka is Grey Goose, which seems dubious but intriguing) somehow. It’s not like I don’t see Kirkland stuff for sale on Amazon for resale.
However, OLCC lists everything for sale and has a list of monthly specials.
http://www.oregon.gov/olcc/LIQUORSTORES/pages/current_month_productandpricing.aspx
I’ve been seeing on Twitter that Iowa State fans have been drinking Memphis dry with their insatiable thirst. These people turn their corn into ethanol for a reason.
What else is there to do in Iowa but drink like tomorrow is another day in the endless horizon Hell that is Iowa?
Well, there’s all those corn-fed girls…[surveys options]…no, no, that’s TOO much corn.
Pictured: Corn-fed Iowa girls
Wisconsin girls are thicker, but they’ll drink you under the table and are quite down to fuck so it all works out.
I could not get fucked visiting the Bunny Ranch
You have to bring cash, dum-dum.
My favorite story about living in Iowa comes from a good friend of mine who grew up there. She said when she was a teenager, some of her friends tried to get drunk off water.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_intoxication
Iowa stanks, too. Like hog shite.
Which is no coincidence.
Wendell Murphy knows what I’m talking about.
Honestly, when it comes to pounding drinks, I’m not sure whether Iowans or Wisconsinites would win. If their Big 10 trophy game isn’t a pink elephant, it should be.
WOOO!!!!!!!!!!! MiracleDOWN, Iowa State
Based on that roughing the passer call, I can tell that the Iowa State quarterback will have a bright future in the NFL playing for the New England Patriots.