I guess the only advantage of not having a Thursday, Sunday Nighter and Monday game is that we get a corn of copia of nine, count ’em, nine games! So what if some aren’t relevant? This presupposes that some week 5 clash involving the Giants or Browns was relevant and we all of us know that isn’t the case, right? TO THE GAMES!
Carolina/Atlanta:
The Falcons are facing the old “Win and You’re in Like Flynn or Gunga Din” scenario. They’ll be side-eyeing the Seattle tilt.
Kansas City/Denver:
Denver hc Joseph spun the “Wheel of QB Futility” and it came up Paxton Lynch. On the other side, coach Reid, locked into the 4 spot seeding-wise, has decided to have a wee looky-loo at Patty Mahomes II: Undermining The Starter Boogaloo. When starter Smith first heard the news he threw a tantrum that traveled all of six yards through the air.
Jacksonville/Tennessee:
Win or lose the Jags are hosting a wildcard game next week. The most likely situation is that this tilt is the first of a home-and-home between these two.
San Fran/LA Rams:
I’m going out on a limb-the 9’ers are the best 5 win team in the league right now. The Rams plan is to sit anyone that matters because they got themselves the division title. Jeff Fisher must be so proud.
Buffalo/Miami:
The Bills need to win and 3/4’s of the AFC to lose so that they can taste the playoffs. It was a valiant try.
Oakland/LA Chargers:
The LawnClippers need to win and the Eiffel Tower has to contract herpes in order for the former to do the playoff jig.
Arizona/Seattle:
Here we go again. The Seahawks must win. Difficulty: the Cards have won the last two in Seattle.
New Orleans/Tampa Bay:
11-4 meets 4-11. How’s that for a hot take?
Cincinnati/Baltimore:
The Ravens need the win just like everyone else. They’ll find the Bengals very accommodating.
Push those letters!
“Top 10 Nuclear Bomb Scenes in Movies”
My Youtube history is a bizarre collection of Simpsons, cursing, fight scene, and apocalypse compilations. Oh, and models like the Love Advent stuff. Speaking of which, as much as I like Karlie Kloss, today’s is disappointing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F9VskFw9uVY
I mean … This was Friday’s.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfL0UXY4X_w
The Bond one with Roger Moore and the Navy guys was pretty damn good.
Did tWBS almost just almost get in a fight? Yes other tWBS…yes he did.
Hippo’s policy of fuck all things public still stands. Then again, this many redneck in one place at one time?
Yeah ok, my bad.
You have to go full split personality like Norton in Fight Club. Have one forearm across your chest “holding you back” as you argue back and forth about whether kicking some guy’s ass is worth it. That’ll scare off most people.
Of course, it’s the ones you don’t scare off that are going to kill you if you do that.
True.
I’m outnumbered atm. I’ll pick ’em off in the parking lot later.
I shoulda brought more vodka.
Opening act sucks, btw.
Leaving the house is BAD and it’s ur fault teh Ratbirds lost
Just make up the sofa. Imma need to leave here early, possibly with police “escort”.
Seriously…Imma punch this guy.
Hi commentists. What did I miss?
“How was the play, Mrs. Lincoln?”
Buffalo and Baltimore are burning for different reasons.
I did have the Bengals game on in the background of the plumbing and that ending was perfect for Lewis to say goodbye.
Stores across Duval county are ordering folding tables for the influx of Bills fans
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
Charge for the guns!” he said.
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
God, I can’t believe I was such a war/military nerd for so long. That shit is pure insanity.
I got $500 riding on the Light Brigade and they better win
Nice Pre-Divorce Eulogy for Marvin Lewis.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2017/12/31/doc-cincinnati-bengals-close-sour-season-sweet-note-knocking-out-baltimore-ravens/993859001/
RAMMITT vs KC or Viks vs anyone would be ok. I think the Viks could beat up the Pats or Steelers.
Fuck I hope so. The D is stout just no margin for error.
Another dirty play from Crosby? I think he’s earned the right to drop the ‘r’ and be a Cosby.
Is he slipping drugs in the opposing defensemen’s water bottles?
Water bottle hijinks are soooo last season
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ker7j8ygZlI#t=40
Not penalized by the way, and pens scored on the play.
They were up 4-0 at the time though.
Play-by-Play Commentator: “Cosby forcing the opponent into the glass, bends over him and…OH, MY GOD! NO! NO! NO!”
Color Commentator “Is this a Major Penalty or a Misconduct Penalty?”
Syd is a prince and is allowed to get away with whatever he pleases because the NHL doesn’t protect him or players like him enough.
Tomorrow’s Hippo’s Instant Thoughts:
“Yo, shit’s all fucked up.”
“Buffalo played the Hidden Immunity Idol, blindsiding Baltimore.”
Crap, just realized Steelers v Eagles SB has a chance of happening. GROSS
Going to spend the night watching indie wrestling and making jokes about it on Twitter because I am not a huge nerd with no social life.
Murray not present on that one.
Folks. I just had the craziest idea:
A Super Bowl featuring the Vikings and Bills.
SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE!
If the Bills gets past Patriots and Steelers back-to-back, they deserve to host the Super Bowl.
If they do that, they deserve to be given the keys to the country so they can run shit forever, because they are obviously touched by God.
I got a Vikings fan I work with and we’ve been joking about this for years.
Schedule just announced – Tinseltown/RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! gets the spotlight dance, Saturday night primetime. Balls, you gonna be there or BE SQUARE??
Let’s go to the satellite view of JJFo—
… And Balmer’s toast.
The combined winning percentage of the teams Baltimore beat this year is .299. Only the Colts were worse.
The brownies drop that down just a smidge.
The best strength of victory? The Dolphins at .531 who are the only team to have an aggregate opponent winning percentage over .500.
Browns; 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000
Just typing that made me snicker.
Mmmm, Snickers. Oh, now that would be a commercial.
Nondescript white guy 1: “You turn into a loser when you’re hungry. Have a Snickers.”
Hue Jackson fucks up taking a bite, but eventually it gets into his mouth.
Nondescript white guy 1: “Better?”
Nondescript white guy 2: “Yeah.”
I’ll take that win.
You and me both.
Marv even had a successful challenge. Enjoy that victory cigar, Coach. You really weren’t as bad as the shit we gave you (your front office is kinda poo).
His problem (not Halftime Adjusting) almost cost him the game. Thankfully, the Bengals and Ravens bailed him out.
but the Steelers never did.
Marv did a good job, before he got there the cupboard was bare.
There was no cupboard. There was simply a wall with brown marks where previous coaches since ’91 threw shit against it to see what stuck.
That big one is the Icky Shuffle.
Bills vs. Jaguars playoff game.
That’s a real thing, folks.
See you next year Redzone
Mmmmmm
Tonight I am going to die of alcohol poisoning.
By showing up to DFO, you willed the team to a win. Keep that in mind next week.
I have seen the error of my ways!
Good job Bills.
Did Flacco check it down on 4th and 14, with 20 seconds to play? By gum he did!!
It could’ve worked, remember that one time Ray Rice made it work?
The Bills, Jags, and Titans in the playoffs seems… off.
Now grapple with the thought that at least one of them has to reach the second round
Hellworld
I’m pondering a Titans-Jags conference championship which would be played in London on a Thursday.
The injury tent injured Canyonero. Irony?
white ppl ,, amirite??
Can someone do a courtesy health and welfare check on Redshirt?
Fuck the Bungles.
Jeebus ratbirds. I mean just wow.
4-yard checkdown. SMRT!
Did that motherfucker just call his injury mid-air?
Bengals can still fuck this up.
Live look-in at Buffalo fanbase
Watch Bawlmar run this back.
Not a chance in hell. But I do appreciate your optimism.
Circle the Wagons! Bills are in!
NOBODY CIRCLES THE WAGONS LIKE TYLER BOYD STANDING IN FOR THE BUFFALO BILLS!!
Is this the upside-down? Red Rocket Dalton did a good?
Wow BILLS
Oh shit.
Buffalo just blew itself up.
Someone needs to go back and get a shitload of folding tables!
They need to incorporate ladders and cages next season.
LOOOoooooooooooooool Fuck Bawltimore
lol Ratbirds
WOW Bungles
Del Rio fired!
Freeing space for Hue Jackson!
SAVE US, BLEERGH!!!
In BLEERGH we trust
Ok, I’m now recalling I don’t do this from phone. This sucks.
Happy New Year folks.
(Out of vodka…Time foar $8 beers I guess)