Your “And I Wonder, Yes I Wonder. Who’ll Stop The Run?” AFC Wild Card Open Thread

Here’s your first of 11 playoff games to enjoy as the 2017/18 season begins the old wind-down. It doesn’t seem on the surface to be that sexy a tilt but one team will advance and the other will call it a day so I guess it’s got that going for it. Shall we jump in? TO THE GAME!

TITANS/CHIEFS:

KC is much like most teams in that they tend to win when they get turnovers. In their ten wins they forced 25 of them. I mention this because qb Mariota has regressed this year and has a non-sparkling 13/15 TD/Intercept ratio. It should be noted that he’s reigned in his penchant for fumbling…finally.

Injuries:

Ouchies to both A. Hunt and Thomas could mean that Tyreek Hill gets some more opportunities to touch the ball and the more he’s able to run around the more he’s likely to break a long one. On t’udder side DeMarco is gone so rb Henry will be carrying the full load. He did so last week and he kinda struggled but the talent is there.

History:

The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home in 24 years. Oof. Here’s something else though-they’ve not given up more than 20 points at Arrowhead in more than a year.

Other Stuff:

The Titans have the eighth-best rushing attack in the league and the KC run D is ranked dead last. However, the latter squad really messed things up statistically during that losing slide mid-way through the sked. As it happens, Henry and Co. have been effective at runs longer than 4+ and 10+ yards according to some advanced stats I don’t fully understand.

My Hot Take(Away):

Takeaway? Get it? Who says that we at DFO don’t pander to our legions of Brit commenters? Anyboo, I figure Henry has to run for at least 125 and Mariota has to have a perfect game as far as turnovers are concerned. Much like most of the Chiefs opponents, I don’t think the Titans will be able to contain te Kelce which will in turn free up Hill.

So get with the tip-tapping down below.

 

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Dick E. Phuck

Mariota smashed by a big Johnson.

rockingdog

tits gonna play that Malarkey football! oh yea so EROTIC!

litre_cola

I am aroused.

Horatio Cornblower

Goddamn assembly lines.

Romonobyl

Hope she’s never a contestant on Wheel of Fortune.

“So what do you do for a living, Becky?”

Smithchez

Durrrrick Henry

Col. Duke LaCross

TRUCKED

fleshwound_NPG

oh shit

Smithchez

“Time for Mariota….to overthrow someone who was double covered anyway. Alright, then.”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Andy Reid used to have trouble counting defensive players quickly until his favorite baker advised him to picture the players as donuts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Mariota did a GOOD!

King Hippo

he loves Murrika!! He’ll teach us a lesson!!

rockingdog

gotta figure nationwide bought all that airtime after poopoo johns cancelled.

blaxabbath

I’m sitting on the back porch in shorts and a tee shirt.

Horatio Cornblower

Hmm, should I click on the link “Lisa Ann’s Santa Anal”?

bk109

Do it for all of us that are watching the game beside spouses (especially spouses that know how to check the router logs!)

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Don T calls him “Third Reich” to this day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NwCCrzarZs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Smithchez

Did these teams make a mutual agreement to just not cover one another’s tight ends?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What porn are you watching?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hate the way Derrick Henry falls down into tacklers instead of trying to run through them.

Horatio Cornblower

A ‘Bama education at work.

Spur

i got burned on Shaq Fu. I wouldn’t trust anything Shaq selling.

rockingdog

Idea: reboot of SHAFT except starring Shaq?

*I’ll see myself out

Petronel

My copy (Genesis) came with a fruit roll-up inside of unknown vintage. (Both game and snack were new and in plastic, so it was apparently supposed to be there.) Overall, a strange experience.

Horatio Cornblower

I like to think that these Peyton-Paisley ads aren’t staged, but that they just put them in a room and turned the camera on and Brad just fucking hates Peyton.

...

He’s just like us! Relatable!

Smithchez

In real life, the white guy calls the cops, Shaq gets shot, and the guy who shot him gets paid leave.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Titan last playoff win came against against Quebec.

King Hippo

in fairness, the Nordiques were pretty tough that year ,, smh

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m talking Remparts son

...

My favorite part of Darkest Hour is the 25 minute montage of Churchill saying racial slurs.

rockingdog

bahahaha

Brick Meathook

I like where he has sex with General Montgomery.

King Hippo

the funniest thing about the Yalta Conference is that Uncle Joe was probably the least racialist world leader there. He didn’t really care what colour you were, he just liked killing folk.

Spur

Mariota, do something positive.

King Hippo

i.e., throw to teh black guys

Horatio Cornblower

I’m positive he’s going to fuck this up.

King Hippo

NEW GOAL. 7-14, es posible.

Spur

The Titans last win was against Uranus.

fleshwound_NPG

“Now THAT’S a team I can get behind!”

– Aaron Rodgers

fleshwound_NPG

THESE TENNESSEE TITS LEMME TELL YA I CALL EM THE TENNESSEE LISA ANNS BECAUSE THEY’RE JUST BIG FAKES

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blaxabbath

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

Horatio Cornblower

Turns out she was estranged from both of her parents. Who saw that coming?

rockingdog

I got it…. gonna borrow that college game day thing from a few yrs back.

This titans D has bigger holes in it than Lisa Ann!
hey OH!

blaxabbath

Is there an easy way to clean the leaves from the gutters? Can I take my blower up there? Fire?

King Hippo

the answer, as always, is Mexicans (no ofence)

Romonobyl

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Gratliff

Carson Wentz is outperforming Mariota this postseason

blaxabbath

I’ve never been sold on Mariota. I’ve never watched a game (limited sample size, admittedly) where he really looked good. Just more like the best player on a subpar team. I feel like he needs a very strong D to help carry him to a SB.

...

Titans season is going tits up.

fleshwound_NPG

American Idol going to ABC from FOX, pulling a reverse The Critic

...

It stinks!

blaxabbath

I’m amazed how entertainment works anymore. I think that Adidas commercial with everyone around the table talking about creating sums it up perfectly though.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Titans last playoff win came against Anthony Wright

Romonobyl

And Warren Moon was QB.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Heywood Jeffires had a huge cock

Spur

Marcus to Marcus

Gratliff

The derp is too strong in this game

rockingdog

bahahahaha

King Hippo

JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESUS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

“As exposed by Rex Morgan, M.D.” is the funniest thing I’ve seen in quite some time.

Spur

promising drive

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Judging from the cover someone has made some pretty shitty choices.

Smithchez

womp womp

fleshwound_NPG

NOPE

Smithchez

“Oh DON’T throw it to Eric Decker. That makes more sense.”

litre_cola

Or throw it to him so he can’t possible get near the ball.

King Hippo

SIGH

King Hippo

get this to 10-14 at the half, this is #TitsGoal

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Fortunately, smart kids don’t care what everyone else thinks so they blaze the fuck up.

rockingdog

truth!

King Hippo

Drugs don’t need normal ppl MOAR FOR ME!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Normal people are fucking boring.

fleshwound_NPG

tits goal

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blaxabbath

Wow. Sexually attractive.

Romonobyl

Bet she floats face up, good info to have for a water “landing”.

Col. Duke LaCross
rockingdog

hahahaha

“b/c god hates us!”

what do we want?
————watchable footbal!
when do we want it?
————NOW!

blaxabbath

RTD?

Horatio Cornblower

When that commercial for The Alienist came on I at first thought they were remaking ‘Clue’, and they should not do that.

Gratliff

Is the Alienist just Victorian Hannibal?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Noooooo, 1900s NYC.

(Sophomore English class flashbacks)

Romonobyl

Not looking good for Tennessee. Hopefully this will be the worst thing to happen to Don T this year.

King Hippo

Hey, what are the odds they get three hurricanes?

Horatio Cornblower

About 1:1 if Scott Pruitt has anything to say about it.

blaxabbath

Trumps gonna nuke PR as a warning shot to Rocket man that this is what he’s willing to do.

rockingdog

hahahahaha

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Titans last playoff win came against Anthony Wright’s Ravens in 2004.

King Hippo

so we got us a resistable force/movable object situation on our hands?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Dick LeBeau first showed his ability to lead men at Gallipoli.

King Hippo

POUNDING that KHunt

Horatio Cornblower

Speaking of the banner quote…

King Hippo

Ike’s sorry, baby!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

I will not miss Gruden whatsoever. I would sooner listen to the game in Espanol.

King Hippo

Pey-Pey will be improve??

litre_cola

I find him entertaining so yes.

blaxabbath

Yeah but you’re addicted to drugs. GIVE US NETWORK-APPROVED HODA KOTB!

litre_cola

“Locker room talk” with Matt Lauer and Warren Sapp

nomonkeyfun

Not like you would understand less of the commentary, assuming you no speako the spa isbo

Smithchez

¡ESTE TIPO LE LLAMO EL PRODUCTOR DE HOLLYWOOD PORQUE SUS MANOS ESTÁN POR TODAS PARTES!

King Hippo

You are 0-14, don’t go beating your chest over one goddamned tackle, fucknuts

blaxabbath

“0-14. Those were some good times. Back when hope was still around.” -Hue Jackson

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Looks like the call came from the league offices to let the Titans tighten this one up.

King Hippo

Block in the back, uncalled.

Mr. Ayo

This game definitely needs more flags

rockingdog

BLERRRGH

*fixed it

King Hippo

+H