Your “And I Wonder, Yes I Wonder. Who’ll Stop The Run?” AFC Wild Card Open Thread

Here’s your first of 11 playoff games to enjoy as the 2017/18 season begins the old wind-down. It doesn’t seem on the surface to be that sexy a tilt but one team will advance and the other will call it a day so I guess it’s got that going for it. Shall we jump in? TO THE GAME!

TITANS/CHIEFS:

KC is much like most teams in that they tend to win when they get turnovers. In their ten wins they forced 25 of them. I mention this because qb Mariota has regressed this year and has a non-sparkling 13/15 TD/Intercept ratio. It should be noted that he’s reigned in his penchant for fumbling…finally.

Injuries:

Ouchies to both A. Hunt and Thomas could mean that Tyreek Hill gets some more opportunities to touch the ball and the more he’s able to run around the more he’s likely to break a long one. On t’udder side DeMarco is gone so rb Henry will be carrying the full load. He did so last week and he kinda struggled but the talent is there.

History:

The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home in 24 years. Oof. Here’s something else though-they’ve not given up more than 20 points at Arrowhead in more than a year.

Other Stuff:

The Titans have the eighth-best rushing attack in the league and the KC run D is ranked dead last. However, the latter squad really messed things up statistically during that losing slide mid-way through the sked. As it happens, Henry and Co. have been effective at runs longer than 4+ and 10+ yards according to some advanced stats I don’t fully understand.

My Hot Take(Away):

Takeaway? Get it? Who says that we at DFO don’t pander to our legions of Brit commenters? Anyboo, I figure Henry has to run for at least 125 and Mariota has to have a perfect game as far as turnovers are concerned. Much like most of the Chiefs opponents, I don’t think the Titans will be able to contain te Kelce which will in turn free up Hill.

So get with the tip-tapping down below.

 

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King Hippo

how do you not have Henry leak out as a receiver?

King Hippo

I mean, he literally finished his fake and just fucking STOOD THERE

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Can’t wait for the inevitable fumble through the end zone.

Mr. Ayo

Pylon fumble

King Hippo

this is EROTIC SMASHMOUTH finally…and they fuck it up

Dick E. Phuck

Why am I picturing Shrek fan fiction when I read this?

King Hippo

it would be strange if NOT!!

/there was a gif of this banner earlier in the week

JustStopDude

comment image

...

*extreme Borat voice*

My wife.

Doktor Zymm

I fucking hate Sacha Baron Cohen

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Eh, I’ve jerked off to stupider.

Smithchez

How are they gonna fuck this up?

litre_cola

Hand off to the fb and fumble

...

You know what would be better viewing right now? The Gorilla Channel.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Moosemas Gorilla (nodding): Ook.

litre_cola

Marcus throws the ball differently this year and it is not good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Someone should ask Gruden how he’ll feel in four years when Davis fires him and rehires Art Shell.

King Hippo

Circle of Raiderdom

fleshwound_NPG

how is marty-yoda gonna fuck this up

Dick E. Phuck

Heavy, this information is Doc.

litre_cola

Don’t throw it to Decker.

Smithchez

“Got it. Decker.”

Doktor Zymm

Has Vegas already offered odds on the Browns going winless again next season?

herodotus450

Now it all makes sense! Haslam is keeping Hue Jackson around so he can win big on the winless season bet to cover for all that missing Flying J revenue. It was right in front of our eyes the whole time!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

Musculature

fleshwound_NPG

triplette still doin triplette things

King Hippo

spot is off by TWO FULL YARDS

Unsurprised

This is why I cannot actually watch these games.

Smithchez

Gruden getting in his last fine-free digs at the refs.

blaxabbath

I don’t have tv access out here on the porch (don’t have whatever that fucking commercial for a cable box that is wireless so you can grill in the yard and watch telenovellas) so I’m watching that video of the 0-16 Parade.

You midwesterners are the nicest damn people. Other places would nuke the stadium or push the legislature to take back their handouts or burn their gear. The folks of 1-31 Cleveland just make some jokes and go suffer in the cold.

...

They contain their rage to stay warm.

blaxabbath

I work with two midwesterners too. Just not a mean bone in their bodies; maybe disgust, at worst.

JustStopDude

WHat is hilarious is that players have actually complained.

Emmanuel Ognah tweeted…

“That parade is a joke don’t call yourself a true browns fan if you go to that thing! Going 0-16 was embarrassing enough as a player. That is like adding fuel to the fire and it is completely wrong!”

So to be clear… the guy that could have actually fucking done something to prevent the parade from ever happening, is calling the people who raised a bunch of money for the local food bank, not true fans.

blaxabbath

That’s great. I love chaos. I’d love the Browns locker room to be against the team’s fans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Smithchez

I understand that some running backs have a style describe as “running downhill” but Henry always just seems to be falling downhill.

litre_cola

Looks a lot like Trent Richardson did

Doktor Zymm

Awww, hugs!

...

Made a good wine choice today. Trader Joe’s comes through.

King Hippo

great place for wine

herodotus450

So by how much is Houston beating Cincinnati?

litre_cola

Eleventeen to threeve

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

Deep ball accuracy? Needs work.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Longbed truck nuts?

litre_cola

What happened to the Flyin Hawaiian, he looks shitty.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I guess somebody turned up Nickleback on the car radio.

Doktor Zymm

Is that Johnny Football driving?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

Hero.

fleshwound_NPG

living the dream

Unsurprised

HE DED

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fleshwound_NPG

The Tits gotta come out and make a golden comeback in the 2nd half

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Doktor Zymm

And stable too! Super stable, just like stable people frequently say they are!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Totally and bigly stable.

Dick E. Phuck

Unlike those other, less stable Geniuses, who are made of Balsa wood. Our dear leader is made from the finest stock.

Smithchez

“Yeah, that seems like someone who should represent the country on the world stage and have access to the nuclear codes.”

–30% of the country’s population

Sigh.

blaxabbath

What? You wanted CROOKED Hillary?

(not serious)

JustStopDude

Ajit Pai is a twitter bot I think…

On a lark, I started following him on Twitter…he literally retweets shit 24/7…and its the most random crap.

Unsurprised

His twitter account is definitely run by a Verizon bot or intern.

litre_cola

Does Mike Leach have a twitter account? Now that would be randomness.

blaxabbath

My abusive account is suspended for good apparently. Make sure you don’t talk to bad about nazi’s

I’m not gonna sign up again and NOW THEY’RE FEELING IT IN THE POCKETBOOK!

...

#FreeBlaxabbath

Doktor Zymm

comment image:large

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Two prize pig!!

Doktor Zymm

Here ya go :comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAMN IT!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Pretty good turnout.

“I like he shows them the jerseys that they made to “0 Wins”.

OH, LEBRON SHOT!

blaxabbath

Beard guy is such a cop out. He thought he’d be cute/funny. Be passionate. They represent your city — at least own that you’re going to do whatever the fuck you want because the Browns were, literally, at bad as possible.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

College football? DON’T CAAAAAARRRREEE

bk109

Going places “Case Keenum” .. still sounds way wrong,or I’m just too sober for this NFL postseason?

litre_cola

What’s a sober?

JustStopDude

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Doktor Zymm

I was listening to the radio yesterday and even radio people around here were sucking the Patriots’ collective dick. They said Tom Brady was like Benjamin Button, just keeps getting younger. I rolled my eyes so hard I think I sprained a retina.

...

lol you listen to sports talk radio enjoy your ear cancer

Doktor Zymm

It was the news, the news has a sports news portion

...

lol you listen to news radio enjoy your ear cancer

WCS

benjimin buton new water prevnts sunburn ppl forget that

Smithchez

On the bright side, that means he’ll eventually die a very old infant, which might be what that TB12 thing is doing to him anyway. So that’ll be fun.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So a photo of truck nut is fine, but gif of someone making truck nuts is deleted?!?!

Did Jeff Sessions take over?

Doktor Zymm

Aw man, I would totally enjoy a gif of someone making truck nuts. Truck nuts are HILARIOUS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She was painting one pair and the next pair came up and hit her in the face. I bet her manager stood by and did NOTHING.

ballsofsteelandfury

Weird spambot is weird. I restored it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Of course YOU restored it! #EQUALBALLSRIGHTS

Smithchez

What the hell is with this Camry commercial? Did they only have enough money to license the vocals from Don’t Stop Me Now and not the music?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just checking in here, if Kelce is fucked up I’m going to be Mr. Bigglesworth level upset.

Beastmode Ate My Baby
King Hippo

he is full Trent, no doubt

...

lol Tits came out flat.

JustStopDude

The quality of this playoff game…and Hue fucking Jackson could NOT WIN A FUCKING FOOTBALL GAME THIS YEAR!

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fleshwound_NPG

mass effect 4 demo looks good

Col. Duke LaCross

I think that sativa gummy just kicked in.

blaxabbath

Perfect profile image.

WCS

Let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks just yet.

The Chefs blew that game two years ago.

Smithchez

Yeah but that was to Hodor before he died.

Horatio Cornblower

Dick LeBeau is 80.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, but he coaches like he’s 95.

Dick E. Phuck

80 generations

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t think the officiating will make a lick of difference in this game, but goddamn is it some of the worst I have seen in years.

King Hippo

Agreed. An absolute shitshow. I hope RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! at least gets this kind of favourable treatment.

/needs the $$

Spur

OttoMan just creamed his pants.

fleshwound_NPG

goodbye, tits

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Col. Duke LaCross

She does some pretty depraved shit.

Spur

KHUNT is owing Dick

Doktor Zymm

Are they officiating by averages to try and make the game more exciting? It’s kinda working I guess?

Smithchez

It’s not that the safety didn’t get there. He was definitely there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“All right, all I gotta do is push this guy out of bounds…SHIT!”

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